Where are you, God?

My soul needs you and if you are the one holding on to it then I need you to return it because I need it and it needs me.

I used to think that helping lost souls find their way would inevitable save me from my own need for doing my work.... was I wrong!

The spirit can only stay dormant for so long and it will not allow anyone to suffer needlessly and so there comes a time when the sleeper awakes and the giant too and since most people are unprepared for this breakthrough the events that surround this awakening may often be misinterpreted in the case where this is so.

Not knowing is human; not wanting to know is the real troublesome thing. To dare to want to know the truth is a courageous act that we are all capable of attaining. There is no easy way out. The work has to be done and it needs to be undertaken by the person who needs to heal from the trauma that violated the self.

Spiritual abuse is the most dangerous crime that challenges humanity. It is done in many ways and the most cruel is the well-meaning, yet subtly message. Half truths, misrepresentation, taciturn, conceived toxic shame and false guilt can all cause havoc to the spiritual being. Over the decades I developed many facets of trances to keep my soul from dying. They worked like a charm back in those years; however, these self-preservation coping mechanisms are no longer effective and they are stalling my transformation so please take away the residual anomaly that frightens me as I continue to forgive myself for holding on to misguided ideologies.

Forgiving myself was the hardest leg of the road less travelled; I used to think that forgiving another would be and it turned out that this was much easier than unlearning the chant… I could have, should have, I wish I had done this, or done that, oh why me, poor me!

Oh Beloved, my soul needs you now, more than ever before; uplift my spirit Dear God!

Thank you!
Sincerely,

Angeal-Eyes