November Foxtrot:
Taking time to consciously address what I am up to was the best thing you did; allowing me to rip your heart and spill in all the love I can was the best. Consciously nurturing our intimacy was the next and your ever keen interest made it all possible to encourage you to see things from your perspective. Now, that I know was not easy and yet that was what it took for me to get your undivided attention.
Your roller coaster ride was all about releasing years of grief, pain, and disappointment, anger- yes anger that had been buried alive way too long. I know you were very afraid of letting it all go- well I know that you started to let it go. I know about the trauma that occurred which added to your terror of having to reopen the wounds, give them a good cleaning and suturing so they can finally really heal; hence why I kept you in intensive care for so long. That, and the fact that you kept removing the life support I provided along the way. I know that you thought that I gave you those tangles to finish you off and dispel your dreams. In hindsight though it makes sense, at least some sense.
You really wanted me to explain everything in advance and girl I tell you, you are very persistent. Well that was your bargaining skills coming out loud and clear. “God, can you just dissolve the pain and suffering some other way. Maybe take me to a deep sleep and when I awake everything will be smooth sailing going forward.” I was tempted to give in to your bid yet I knew that the experience and more so the result, are worth much more than the agony that plighted your courage.
That’s what happened to Jesus each time I sharpened his will so that it aligned with his deepest desires. Does that make sense? I know… I know… you do not need my explanation now eh! You just want to know exactly what I am up to... still suturing your heart!
I must tell you again, I love your honesty. No frills attached!
God
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