Side order of reality and humility

When God makes no sense and so much makes sense I mindbodysoulspirit perk up.

My life still seemed to have been one where God is totally committed to stay hidden and at the same time appear to be anything but invisible.

I decided to stop playing games with my feelings and perception of this God and unnerving as this was, I began to actively pursue God- questioning it and, dousing it with my doubt about it. You see I was very tired of doing what everyone, almost everyone, suggested was the best way to find God and to earn his favours on this side of heaven.

Positive personality, acting as though I really always loved God and never minded his suffering, hard labour and poverty were no longer an acceptable way of life to prove my love for God. Common already God, that's a lot of hard work!

Then one day I racked up enough nerve to tell it to him and then waited for his wrath to finish me off. I came to my senses and realized that this inner dialogue, silently and out loud, was the dose of reality and humility that reunited myself with God on my terms and on his conditions. Talk about making strides into the unknown!

How else to explain conquering fear and tension than to risk fighting with God before I die, only to find that there was no big heavy door separating me and God and that I would did die yet rise to new life. Now I suppose the parable of death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is beginning to be a story worth commemorating everyday-not just on Good Friday and Easter Sunday! Aha!

After all these years, I finally, finally understand what Jesus meant by “the Father and I are one!” I am now more receptive of God’s realness even when nothing makes sense

Talk about a breakthrough! Craziness is good! Yes craziness is great- if you ask me!