There must be some opened door or a window at least, and come what may, I must end up turning the right knob for me or, better yet, I will find the doors already opened and just waiting for me to walk through.
Where, when, I do not know yet; in the meantime I let intuition and its wisdom guide me on.
July 30, 2007
July 29, 2007
Unmangling and unravelling my feelings
What am I feeling when thoughts keep coming up from the basement of my mind so I can attend to them consciously and unafraid.
I sometimes have no clue where to begin and what even brings out the emotions that I had hidden away so as to not admit my pain, disappointment and my own fears and unawareness of the consequences of not dissolving them before they festered.
I suppose I had to let God empty those bags of feelings that I had yet comes to terms with and that were weighing down my heart and soul. This was the prerequisite to restoring my heart and soul with love and harmony.
July 28, 2007
God’s Affidavit
I know what it feels like, feeling that not even God cares. I know what it feels like when it seems I have exhausted all God’s timeouts in a lifetime on this Earth Journey.
Many times I have shared with God and loved ones my desire to assist persons who are lacking the loving support that it takes to lift a fallen spirit, a wounded mind and tortured body. I know that God himself took me seriously because one day he said “I don’t care how long you took or how slow you dragged your feet on your offer but I will make sure that you know that I accepted your offer. In fact that is just why I created you and put you through all what you had to learn so you can be a source of hope to my children…young and old." Lately I have been wondering what on earth was I thinking! I felt like Moses, Jeremiah and Jonah all at once! How could someone who loves God one day and the next is fighting head and shoulder, knees and toes with this same God be a witness to his creation.
Even I am searching high and low for proof that God is serious about what concerns me and his children. Well I have resigned to just agree with God that all I have to do is encourage people to be honest with God about their deep fears, dreams and expectations. Don’t hold back anything from God because this is the one thing that is impossible to become possible because God knows already!
Commune with your soul today; it is waiting. It longs to hear your story, your doubts, your questions, and your heart’s cry; it yearns to guide you back to itself!
God’s love knows no boundaries, denominational labels, or social hierarchy. He dwells in us all even when we do not want to have anything to with Him or Her or It or don’t want him to have anything to do with us.
He is not putting you in situations because he does not love you or because you are no good or because you are some terrible mistake. Let me tell you, the process that got me to accept my qualifications to carry out this assignment from God was very scary but there is nothing that pleased his heart more than when I ran to him, sit on his lap, talk about everything and nothing that pleased me more than to feel my fear of God's wrath dissolve.
Now that is a message I do not mind preaching as I continue to practise it!
Many times I have shared with God and loved ones my desire to assist persons who are lacking the loving support that it takes to lift a fallen spirit, a wounded mind and tortured body. I know that God himself took me seriously because one day he said “I don’t care how long you took or how slow you dragged your feet on your offer but I will make sure that you know that I accepted your offer. In fact that is just why I created you and put you through all what you had to learn so you can be a source of hope to my children…young and old." Lately I have been wondering what on earth was I thinking! I felt like Moses, Jeremiah and Jonah all at once! How could someone who loves God one day and the next is fighting head and shoulder, knees and toes with this same God be a witness to his creation.
Even I am searching high and low for proof that God is serious about what concerns me and his children. Well I have resigned to just agree with God that all I have to do is encourage people to be honest with God about their deep fears, dreams and expectations. Don’t hold back anything from God because this is the one thing that is impossible to become possible because God knows already!
Commune with your soul today; it is waiting. It longs to hear your story, your doubts, your questions, and your heart’s cry; it yearns to guide you back to itself!
God’s love knows no boundaries, denominational labels, or social hierarchy. He dwells in us all even when we do not want to have anything to with Him or Her or It or don’t want him to have anything to do with us.
He is not putting you in situations because he does not love you or because you are no good or because you are some terrible mistake. Let me tell you, the process that got me to accept my qualifications to carry out this assignment from God was very scary but there is nothing that pleased his heart more than when I ran to him, sit on his lap, talk about everything and nothing that pleased me more than to feel my fear of God's wrath dissolve.
Now that is a message I do not mind preaching as I continue to practise it!
July 27, 2007
Roger…Roger- Ten-Four, November Foxtrot
November Foxtrot:
Taking time to consciously address what I am up to was the best thing you did; allowing me to rip your heart and spill in all the love I can was the best. Consciously nurturing our intimacy was the next and your ever keen interest made it all possible to encourage you to see things from your perspective. Now, that I know was not easy and yet that was what it took for me to get your undivided attention.
Your roller coaster ride was all about releasing years of grief, pain, and disappointment, anger- yes anger that had been buried alive way too long. I know you were very afraid of letting it all go- well I know that you started to let it go. I know about the trauma that occurred which added to your terror of having to reopen the wounds, give them a good cleaning and suturing so they can finally really heal; hence why I kept you in intensive care for so long. That, and the fact that you kept removing the life support I provided along the way. I know that you thought that I gave you those tangles to finish you off and dispel your dreams. In hindsight though it makes sense, at least some sense.
You really wanted me to explain everything in advance and girl I tell you, you are very persistent. Well that was your bargaining skills coming out loud and clear. “God, can you just dissolve the pain and suffering some other way. Maybe take me to a deep sleep and when I awake everything will be smooth sailing going forward.” I was tempted to give in to your bid yet I knew that the experience and more so the result, are worth much more than the agony that plighted your courage.
That’s what happened to Jesus each time I sharpened his will so that it aligned with his deepest desires. Does that make sense? I know… I know… you do not need my explanation now eh! You just want to know exactly what I am up to... still suturing your heart!
I must tell you again, I love your honesty. No frills attached!
God
Taking time to consciously address what I am up to was the best thing you did; allowing me to rip your heart and spill in all the love I can was the best. Consciously nurturing our intimacy was the next and your ever keen interest made it all possible to encourage you to see things from your perspective. Now, that I know was not easy and yet that was what it took for me to get your undivided attention.
Your roller coaster ride was all about releasing years of grief, pain, and disappointment, anger- yes anger that had been buried alive way too long. I know you were very afraid of letting it all go- well I know that you started to let it go. I know about the trauma that occurred which added to your terror of having to reopen the wounds, give them a good cleaning and suturing so they can finally really heal; hence why I kept you in intensive care for so long. That, and the fact that you kept removing the life support I provided along the way. I know that you thought that I gave you those tangles to finish you off and dispel your dreams. In hindsight though it makes sense, at least some sense.
You really wanted me to explain everything in advance and girl I tell you, you are very persistent. Well that was your bargaining skills coming out loud and clear. “God, can you just dissolve the pain and suffering some other way. Maybe take me to a deep sleep and when I awake everything will be smooth sailing going forward.” I was tempted to give in to your bid yet I knew that the experience and more so the result, are worth much more than the agony that plighted your courage.
That’s what happened to Jesus each time I sharpened his will so that it aligned with his deepest desires. Does that make sense? I know… I know… you do not need my explanation now eh! You just want to know exactly what I am up to... still suturing your heart!
I must tell you again, I love your honesty. No frills attached!
God
July 26, 2007
Do you read me, God!
I am practising this faith exercise and I just wanted to know how I am doing and how long before this test is supposed to last before I enjoy the results- fulfillment of all my dreams, eh God?
That's all I need to say to you, for now!
Over and out!
That's all I need to say to you, for now!
Over and out!
July 25, 2007
Latent Talent's "Easter Sunday"
Trusting the law of growth and inspired inkling to keenly observe and imitate the season has been causing shifts that encourages me to keep developing my ability to connect with the invisible intelligence without the need for proof that the ever-changing is itself indestructible
Creating my very own version of Wedding at Cana beside still waters with moon, sun and stars of witnesses observing the celebration of total surrender to the one Great Spirit as I danced with God was a very liberating performance
Filled with wonder and gratitude I continue to entertain and encourage the cosmos to deliver a whole lot of milagros that nourishes and nurtures sanity and sanctity for inspiring and zesting up living that regenerate and resurrect multitudes of ability
Creating my very own version of Wedding at Cana beside still waters with moon, sun and stars of witnesses observing the celebration of total surrender to the one Great Spirit as I danced with God was a very liberating performance
Filled with wonder and gratitude I continue to entertain and encourage the cosmos to deliver a whole lot of milagros that nourishes and nurtures sanity and sanctity for inspiring and zesting up living that regenerate and resurrect multitudes of ability
July 24, 2007
Side order of reality and humility
When God makes no sense and so much makes sense I mindbodysoulspirit perk up.
My life still seemed to have been one where God is totally committed to stay hidden and at the same time appear to be anything but invisible.
I decided to stop playing games with my feelings and perception of this God and unnerving as this was, I began to actively pursue God- questioning it and, dousing it with my doubt about it. You see I was very tired of doing what everyone, almost everyone, suggested was the best way to find God and to earn his favours on this side of heaven.
Positive personality, acting as though I really always loved God and never minded his suffering, hard labour and poverty were no longer an acceptable way of life to prove my love for God. Common already God, that's a lot of hard work!
Then one day I racked up enough nerve to tell it to him and then waited for his wrath to finish me off. I came to my senses and realized that this inner dialogue, silently and out loud, was the dose of reality and humility that reunited myself with God on my terms and on his conditions. Talk about making strides into the unknown!
How else to explain conquering fear and tension than to risk fighting with God before I die, only to find that there was no big heavy door separating me and God and that I would did die yet rise to new life. Now I suppose the parable of death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is beginning to be a story worth commemorating everyday-not just on Good Friday and Easter Sunday! Aha!
After all these years, I finally, finally understand what Jesus meant by “the Father and I are one!” I am now more receptive of God’s realness even when nothing makes sense
Talk about a breakthrough! Craziness is good! Yes craziness is great- if you ask me!
My life still seemed to have been one where God is totally committed to stay hidden and at the same time appear to be anything but invisible.
I decided to stop playing games with my feelings and perception of this God and unnerving as this was, I began to actively pursue God- questioning it and, dousing it with my doubt about it. You see I was very tired of doing what everyone, almost everyone, suggested was the best way to find God and to earn his favours on this side of heaven.
Positive personality, acting as though I really always loved God and never minded his suffering, hard labour and poverty were no longer an acceptable way of life to prove my love for God. Common already God, that's a lot of hard work!
Then one day I racked up enough nerve to tell it to him and then waited for his wrath to finish me off. I came to my senses and realized that this inner dialogue, silently and out loud, was the dose of reality and humility that reunited myself with God on my terms and on his conditions. Talk about making strides into the unknown!
How else to explain conquering fear and tension than to risk fighting with God before I die, only to find that there was no big heavy door separating me and God and that I would did die yet rise to new life. Now I suppose the parable of death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is beginning to be a story worth commemorating everyday-not just on Good Friday and Easter Sunday! Aha!
After all these years, I finally, finally understand what Jesus meant by “the Father and I are one!” I am now more receptive of God’s realness even when nothing makes sense
Talk about a breakthrough! Craziness is good! Yes craziness is great- if you ask me!
July 23, 2007
Master Bait
Accurate, adequately and appropriately the universe provides ingredients for attending to and managing current condition of living on Earth. Full of intuition, instinct, strength, courage, resilience to stoke the flames of passion and compassion to persevere I move along from the stance of inner directedness. I also choose to employ the science of suggestion in a manner that assist me in personally creating Creation just the way Cosmos likes it.
The brain knows exactly what excites God and God knew that the only way to seal our personal agreement is to give my brain its unique ability to access its ingredients inside-out all the time to harvest the richness of limitless love and potent presence of God as I trek the roads paved with a series of nows which began with the impeccable command, explicitly expressed and unreservedly responded to. The brain knows what the word can do to evoke response in tune with the Universe and so it continues to apply its Genuisness of Genesis to evolve its moods and attitude with integrity without giving up the hook that connects it with its Maker.
Dear Maker of Master Bait, thank you for full access to my personal power to enjoy self love and pleasure paradise of self responsibility
The brain knows exactly what excites God and God knew that the only way to seal our personal agreement is to give my brain its unique ability to access its ingredients inside-out all the time to harvest the richness of limitless love and potent presence of God as I trek the roads paved with a series of nows which began with the impeccable command, explicitly expressed and unreservedly responded to. The brain knows what the word can do to evoke response in tune with the Universe and so it continues to apply its Genuisness of Genesis to evolve its moods and attitude with integrity without giving up the hook that connects it with its Maker.
Dear Maker of Master Bait, thank you for full access to my personal power to enjoy self love and pleasure paradise of self responsibility
July 22, 2007
Where are you, God?
My soul needs you and if you are the one holding on to it then I need you to return it because I need it and it needs me.
I used to think that helping lost souls find their way would inevitable save me from my own need for doing my work.... was I wrong!
The spirit can only stay dormant for so long and it will not allow anyone to suffer needlessly and so there comes a time when the sleeper awakes and the giant too and since most people are unprepared for this breakthrough the events that surround this awakening may often be misinterpreted in the case where this is so.
Not knowing is human; not wanting to know is the real troublesome thing. To dare to want to know the truth is a courageous act that we are all capable of attaining. There is no easy way out. The work has to be done and it needs to be undertaken by the person who needs to heal from the trauma that violated the self.
Spiritual abuse is the most dangerous crime that challenges humanity. It is done in many ways and the most cruel is the well-meaning, yet subtly message. Half truths, misrepresentation, taciturn, conceived toxic shame and false guilt can all cause havoc to the spiritual being. Over the decades I developed many facets of trances to keep my soul from dying. They worked like a charm back in those years; however, these self-preservation coping mechanisms are no longer effective and they are stalling my transformation so please take away the residual anomaly that frightens me as I continue to forgive myself for holding on to misguided ideologies.
Forgiving myself was the hardest leg of the road less travelled; I used to think that forgiving another would be and it turned out that this was much easier than unlearning the chant… I could have, should have, I wish I had done this, or done that, oh why me, poor me!
Oh Beloved, my soul needs you now, more than ever before; uplift my spirit Dear God!
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Angeal-Eyes
I used to think that helping lost souls find their way would inevitable save me from my own need for doing my work.... was I wrong!
The spirit can only stay dormant for so long and it will not allow anyone to suffer needlessly and so there comes a time when the sleeper awakes and the giant too and since most people are unprepared for this breakthrough the events that surround this awakening may often be misinterpreted in the case where this is so.
Not knowing is human; not wanting to know is the real troublesome thing. To dare to want to know the truth is a courageous act that we are all capable of attaining. There is no easy way out. The work has to be done and it needs to be undertaken by the person who needs to heal from the trauma that violated the self.
Spiritual abuse is the most dangerous crime that challenges humanity. It is done in many ways and the most cruel is the well-meaning, yet subtly message. Half truths, misrepresentation, taciturn, conceived toxic shame and false guilt can all cause havoc to the spiritual being. Over the decades I developed many facets of trances to keep my soul from dying. They worked like a charm back in those years; however, these self-preservation coping mechanisms are no longer effective and they are stalling my transformation so please take away the residual anomaly that frightens me as I continue to forgive myself for holding on to misguided ideologies.
Forgiving myself was the hardest leg of the road less travelled; I used to think that forgiving another would be and it turned out that this was much easier than unlearning the chant… I could have, should have, I wish I had done this, or done that, oh why me, poor me!
Oh Beloved, my soul needs you now, more than ever before; uplift my spirit Dear God!
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Angeal-Eyes
July 21, 2007
Paradoxes
So much so for confining God in a box of facts… I feel like I am in the spin cycle of the eternal washing machine and at the same time being in a place where I can rest in peace. I can say that I feel like I am in the bottomless pit and the deeper I go the more I enjoy the ambience.
It is very fascinating that I tell God to leave me alone and then I long for this very God to embrace me and to embrace God. I suspect that this is what Christ meant when he said that when one wants to save their life they’ll lose it and when they lose their life they will find it! Also, somewhere the bible states that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies it shall not bear fruit. Oh evay…
Then comes the Haphakh!
The events that I dreaded were the very ones that were the stepping-stones that brought me to the turning points where the light and darkness are one. It is almost as though that the tunnel to hell is the very way that emerges as heaven once I get out to the other end of it. So after all, the pit is not hell and if it is then there is no difference between heaven and hell. The lower I sink into the subconscious the higher I climb on “Jacob’s ladder”.
Where does life begin and when does it end? Death cannot survive without life and life would be mundane if there were no death! The very cycles of life is a paradox; in fact one of the most puzzling paradox I had to come to terms with. Life seems unbearable yet death is not an entertaining subject either.
I feel like I finally grasp God and then like quicksilver God slips away. The more I struggle to contain it, the more I chase the wind trying to find its source. I surrender the urge to know this God and then I dig my heels in and pursue it and get lost in the whirlwind. Just when I began to feel defeated by my purpose to comprehend God, a surge of life gave me a glimpse of all possibility and that was good enough… for a while!
So the chase resumes and God and I enjoy playing hide and seek until I realize that God is not about to give up his amusement of making me not ever being able to fully grab it. I do not find wanting to be with God exciting and I walk away and this time let it be the one to pursue me and so the fun and struggle resume and becomes somewhat amuzing . Even writing this is taking me in circles… oh well, I am still dizzy from being in God’s spin cycle! Chasing God around is really a frightening yet astounding game of imagination that reveals the true essence that I AM unveils
It is very fascinating that I tell God to leave me alone and then I long for this very God to embrace me and to embrace God. I suspect that this is what Christ meant when he said that when one wants to save their life they’ll lose it and when they lose their life they will find it! Also, somewhere the bible states that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies it shall not bear fruit. Oh evay…
Then comes the Haphakh!
The events that I dreaded were the very ones that were the stepping-stones that brought me to the turning points where the light and darkness are one. It is almost as though that the tunnel to hell is the very way that emerges as heaven once I get out to the other end of it. So after all, the pit is not hell and if it is then there is no difference between heaven and hell. The lower I sink into the subconscious the higher I climb on “Jacob’s ladder”.
Where does life begin and when does it end? Death cannot survive without life and life would be mundane if there were no death! The very cycles of life is a paradox; in fact one of the most puzzling paradox I had to come to terms with. Life seems unbearable yet death is not an entertaining subject either.
I feel like I finally grasp God and then like quicksilver God slips away. The more I struggle to contain it, the more I chase the wind trying to find its source. I surrender the urge to know this God and then I dig my heels in and pursue it and get lost in the whirlwind. Just when I began to feel defeated by my purpose to comprehend God, a surge of life gave me a glimpse of all possibility and that was good enough… for a while!
So the chase resumes and God and I enjoy playing hide and seek until I realize that God is not about to give up his amusement of making me not ever being able to fully grab it. I do not find wanting to be with God exciting and I walk away and this time let it be the one to pursue me and so the fun and struggle resume and becomes somewhat amuzing . Even writing this is taking me in circles… oh well, I am still dizzy from being in God’s spin cycle! Chasing God around is really a frightening yet astounding game of imagination that reveals the true essence that I AM unveils
July 20, 2007
Too many cooks, God!
People are made to believe that food is the enemy; rest is a thief, God is this that and every other; and, time is determined by the scientific clock designed to measures life’s progress with each tick…tock… tick… tock… bugorlock
This abysmal overload of information could not be any more ludicrous than telling me that Christopher Columbus discovered the world; the European settlers were there before the First Nations of Canada and God is waiting to toss me into a blazing fire when I pray my heartrending and soul wrenching prayers with words that has no theological content or flavour.
Instilling fear has been a tactic to disarm young minds of their power and their fondness of curiosity that some who are now adults were once deprived of. This is a game gone too far and its crippling effect continues to disfigure the minds of truth-seekers.
The good news is that there is a handful of us who took on the task of removing the cloth that shrouded the fact...another thing we were taught, as children not to ever do –snoop; I call it explore for oneself!
So all kind of jumbee stories and myths of hairs growing on hands and squirrel eating nuts other than those from plants, the real God loves me today and will bake me in hell's fire the next developed into false claims on which life’s foundation was forced to be built on, and enduring lives of servitude to earn brownie points that never seem to add up, was no help either!.
Today many innocent lives are reaping the results and a large number do not know what to do because they are still petrified to break the chains that once bound them. How sad for those who thought they were being clever by protecting and defending us from ignorance. Bliss all right!
Decades later I am feverishly working at undoing the damage… with God’s help to see me through this, which frankly as God I feel he should have intervened a long time ago when he noticed what all those cooks were doing; any way he is God and I don’t always care to argue with him. I just like to tell God things straight from the heart!
Like I was saying, there are so many volumes of these fabrication to mire through that sometimes it seem easier to buckle down and hop on the bandwagon than to take the longer, narrower way that Matthew cautioned that few would traverse.
I have been spending the last few years understanding God in a way that makes sense to me. Too many cooks have whipped up daily specials on who or what God is and how he works and none have yet to satisfy my spiritual appetite so I making up my own and that to me will taste much better and even though it doesn't I will still enjoy it and this is enough to make my effort worth the try... maybe, just maybe, that is what God is nudging me to do, and if not, then God will have to buck up and do better than just dropping a clue here; and a puzzle there and, secret ingredients every where... because I am drifting further and further away from the truth or conversely I am getting more and more in touch with Truth. Remember life is paradoxical so though I may feel like I am severed from God and I feel like I've lost what I was looking for I am may just be moments away from discovering it. Then and again maybe it is a good thing that the cooks whet my hunger to get to know God for myself!
The crux is I am convinced that God definitely exist and is mightier than any human and I will continue renewing my mind until my notion of God becomes my firm foundation.
It is painstaking. It takes courage, a lot of courage and perseverance… not to mention trial and error, to attain this state of permanent blissful relationship with God.
Take heart, it is well worth the trek.
This abysmal overload of information could not be any more ludicrous than telling me that Christopher Columbus discovered the world; the European settlers were there before the First Nations of Canada and God is waiting to toss me into a blazing fire when I pray my heartrending and soul wrenching prayers with words that has no theological content or flavour.
Instilling fear has been a tactic to disarm young minds of their power and their fondness of curiosity that some who are now adults were once deprived of. This is a game gone too far and its crippling effect continues to disfigure the minds of truth-seekers.
The good news is that there is a handful of us who took on the task of removing the cloth that shrouded the fact...another thing we were taught, as children not to ever do –snoop; I call it explore for oneself!
So all kind of jumbee stories and myths of hairs growing on hands and squirrel eating nuts other than those from plants, the real God loves me today and will bake me in hell's fire the next developed into false claims on which life’s foundation was forced to be built on, and enduring lives of servitude to earn brownie points that never seem to add up, was no help either!.
Today many innocent lives are reaping the results and a large number do not know what to do because they are still petrified to break the chains that once bound them. How sad for those who thought they were being clever by protecting and defending us from ignorance. Bliss all right!
Decades later I am feverishly working at undoing the damage… with God’s help to see me through this, which frankly as God I feel he should have intervened a long time ago when he noticed what all those cooks were doing; any way he is God and I don’t always care to argue with him. I just like to tell God things straight from the heart!
Like I was saying, there are so many volumes of these fabrication to mire through that sometimes it seem easier to buckle down and hop on the bandwagon than to take the longer, narrower way that Matthew cautioned that few would traverse.
I have been spending the last few years understanding God in a way that makes sense to me. Too many cooks have whipped up daily specials on who or what God is and how he works and none have yet to satisfy my spiritual appetite so I making up my own and that to me will taste much better and even though it doesn't I will still enjoy it and this is enough to make my effort worth the try... maybe, just maybe, that is what God is nudging me to do, and if not, then God will have to buck up and do better than just dropping a clue here; and a puzzle there and, secret ingredients every where... because I am drifting further and further away from the truth or conversely I am getting more and more in touch with Truth. Remember life is paradoxical so though I may feel like I am severed from God and I feel like I've lost what I was looking for I am may just be moments away from discovering it. Then and again maybe it is a good thing that the cooks whet my hunger to get to know God for myself!
The crux is I am convinced that God definitely exist and is mightier than any human and I will continue renewing my mind until my notion of God becomes my firm foundation.
It is painstaking. It takes courage, a lot of courage and perseverance… not to mention trial and error, to attain this state of permanent blissful relationship with God.
Take heart, it is well worth the trek.
July 19, 2007
Oh blissfulness!
When I wake up to face the day with a smile from ear to ear grateful that God did not take its favour away from me- that is a moment overflowing with bliss.
Not even stepping into a kitchen of half full cupboards to eat the same thing I ate yesterday only prepared differently, can wither that smile.
Sometimes when I realize that the wallet is still empty and that there are no children happily playing around while waiting for breakfast or a partner to to share our most innermost thoughts and delights and to massage the tender spots that haggle to take away the lingering thrill of the smile in my soul and get this close yet never close enough to take away that spirit of resilience and expectancy that this too will come I am filled with a sense of deep tranquility that I often cannot explain. When this happens I know it is a reminder from God to cast my fears away and watch Mother Earth swallow it up.
Thank you soul for taking away the emptiness and replacing it with such blissfulness
Even if only for a while
Not even stepping into a kitchen of half full cupboards to eat the same thing I ate yesterday only prepared differently, can wither that smile.
Sometimes when I realize that the wallet is still empty and that there are no children happily playing around while waiting for breakfast or a partner to to share our most innermost thoughts and delights and to massage the tender spots that haggle to take away the lingering thrill of the smile in my soul and get this close yet never close enough to take away that spirit of resilience and expectancy that this too will come I am filled with a sense of deep tranquility that I often cannot explain. When this happens I know it is a reminder from God to cast my fears away and watch Mother Earth swallow it up.
Thank you soul for taking away the emptiness and replacing it with such blissfulness
Even if only for a while
July 18, 2007
Turning Points
So many large and small things have made it possible to keep me grateful even though mostly in hindsight.
When something that keeps me vulnerable turns out to be the very thing that unpacked my courage to continue to keep on keeping on then I must say that God never ceases to amaze me. I am very impressed with the aftermath of the shocks when I watch him join the dots even while I still continue to recover from the anxiety attacks.
Honestly God, how do you do it! One day I praise your Omnipotence and the next I call you a callous bonehead!
Is it any wonder you never let my stupid prayers disintegrate our relationship. How can I do that too when trouble surrounds me and disappointments eat away the real meaning of relationships.
Thanks for the turning points that make the winding roads that lead to living a fulfilled life appear a bit more straightforward, affordable and attainable.
Until the next mountain obstructs my view and keeps me guessing how much longer…
Well next time this happens please give me enough steam so my train can make it through without all that huffing and puffing!
Okay… that’s my deal. You said to ask and I will receive. I think that is a fair request, don’t you think!
When something that keeps me vulnerable turns out to be the very thing that unpacked my courage to continue to keep on keeping on then I must say that God never ceases to amaze me. I am very impressed with the aftermath of the shocks when I watch him join the dots even while I still continue to recover from the anxiety attacks.
Honestly God, how do you do it! One day I praise your Omnipotence and the next I call you a callous bonehead!
Is it any wonder you never let my stupid prayers disintegrate our relationship. How can I do that too when trouble surrounds me and disappointments eat away the real meaning of relationships.
Thanks for the turning points that make the winding roads that lead to living a fulfilled life appear a bit more straightforward, affordable and attainable.
Until the next mountain obstructs my view and keeps me guessing how much longer…
Well next time this happens please give me enough steam so my train can make it through without all that huffing and puffing!
Okay… that’s my deal. You said to ask and I will receive. I think that is a fair request, don’t you think!
July 16, 2007
Phew! God Knows!
Many times my good intentions appears to be everything but! Still God always understands!
I have misunderstood many people’s style of communicating and acting with good intention too and God knows that!
What do I do? Oh Ancient Wisdom, what should I do?
I may not have the chance to explain or justify my objective for my approach and for this very reason I do my best keeping in my mind that God knows my intentions. Nothing escapes his knowingness; God is watching… always watching.
That is what keeps me on my toes as well as gives me that peace which surpasses understanding even when the pigment of imagination eludes all saneness.
I think that it just proves that I translate perception very personally and so does the receiver of my ideas and that include God. I think that is the best quality I admire in God; he knows that my wrangling with him is in no way to take its place. It is just that I want a greater sense of knowing it, personally and for this reason I will do whatever I feel is necessary to express my hunger for this faith to know it and be fully pleased with God, intimately, ‘come hell or high waters!’
I suppose that is what King Solomon reminds me of in Proverbs when he mentioned “in all your ways trust God and never lean on your own understanding.”
Were it not so I would be lock in a prison of anxiety, fear and would be constantly overwhelmed by the millions of trillions of thoughts and feelings that I would be having difficulty to express especially watching my tongue and tone with how I communicate with God and still be lost in love with this God!
That acknowledgment has made it more practical for me to do my best in accepting when someone assures me of their good intentions. Since this is not an easy thing for me to always be mindful of round the clock I ask Wisdom to pump discernment into every cell of my body so I can trust my intuition and do things with good intention and to respect and remain open to people’s take on things and, along the way, boost my aptitude to think critically.
Thinking critically by the way is not the same as finding fault… to me it is agreeing to see another’s point of view and hoping the other person can also see my point of view on the same matter and be free to agree or disagree and still be amicable towards each other after the dialogue or discussion is over and if for any reason this relation cannot continue, we choose to walk away peacefully.
Keeping that in mind I continue to recite my mantra “God Knows as I carry on to intend to do good with the certainty that God knows the intentions of my thoughts, words and actions.
Thank you Holy Guidance for leading the path on which I must traverse to enjoy the taste of Paradise during my earthly journey before I return to dust!
Thank you God, for keeping me real!
I have misunderstood many people’s style of communicating and acting with good intention too and God knows that!
What do I do? Oh Ancient Wisdom, what should I do?
I may not have the chance to explain or justify my objective for my approach and for this very reason I do my best keeping in my mind that God knows my intentions. Nothing escapes his knowingness; God is watching… always watching.
That is what keeps me on my toes as well as gives me that peace which surpasses understanding even when the pigment of imagination eludes all saneness.
I think that it just proves that I translate perception very personally and so does the receiver of my ideas and that include God. I think that is the best quality I admire in God; he knows that my wrangling with him is in no way to take its place. It is just that I want a greater sense of knowing it, personally and for this reason I will do whatever I feel is necessary to express my hunger for this faith to know it and be fully pleased with God, intimately, ‘come hell or high waters!’
I suppose that is what King Solomon reminds me of in Proverbs when he mentioned “in all your ways trust God and never lean on your own understanding.”
Were it not so I would be lock in a prison of anxiety, fear and would be constantly overwhelmed by the millions of trillions of thoughts and feelings that I would be having difficulty to express especially watching my tongue and tone with how I communicate with God and still be lost in love with this God!
That acknowledgment has made it more practical for me to do my best in accepting when someone assures me of their good intentions. Since this is not an easy thing for me to always be mindful of round the clock I ask Wisdom to pump discernment into every cell of my body so I can trust my intuition and do things with good intention and to respect and remain open to people’s take on things and, along the way, boost my aptitude to think critically.
Thinking critically by the way is not the same as finding fault… to me it is agreeing to see another’s point of view and hoping the other person can also see my point of view on the same matter and be free to agree or disagree and still be amicable towards each other after the dialogue or discussion is over and if for any reason this relation cannot continue, we choose to walk away peacefully.
Keeping that in mind I continue to recite my mantra “God Knows as I carry on to intend to do good with the certainty that God knows the intentions of my thoughts, words and actions.
Thank you Holy Guidance for leading the path on which I must traverse to enjoy the taste of Paradise during my earthly journey before I return to dust!
Thank you God, for keeping me real!
July 15, 2007
Tearing down walls- the walls that obstruct your perception of my true identity
Dear Nympha:
I know you think that I am totalling ignoring you, the intensity of your pounding on my innermost parts is enough to make Mother Earth tremble violently and you know that I like to do things very consciously and thoroughly. You also know that taking matters to me means I have given all your chances to add your two cents. You know that even if I were to comply with your urge to rush me that I will refuse to let you have a half-baked bread all because you kick up a storm. Yes I have given you half-baked bread and watch you struggle to sink your teeth into it and then toss it away, sometimes without ever succeeding into taking a bite, all because you could not wait a little while longer to enjoy bread with milk and honey in my company, uninterrupted.
I know that you have learnt a lot and so whenever you huff and puff I let you because I know that you are still practising to reduce your discomfort from the distress of waiting.
I am the only goldsmith that knows where to penetrate and clear delusion that have blocking direct contact with the pure essence that your image and likeness was created from. Without this your life would be unfulfilled as purposely intended by this encoded substance
To experience this closeness in a manner that will truly be present with, the knower of all you have to go through the process of letting me eliminate all those adopted ideas that have been trying hard to keep me boxed-in and closed-down.
Purging that which is no longer needed in your life is a mandatory stage of being in the Refiner’s Fire. Release of the toxins and repressed emotions from your most painful wounds are safely released while in the Intensive Care because waking the subconscious can agitate you and cause you to react very turbulently.
This is what sometime cause you to want to resist the process all together instead of trusting that this facilitates the renewing of your mind, regenerating of healthy cells and character that tearing and braking down the walls that stand between you and me, your essence and ultimately fulfillment of all your desires.
Please, be still and believe that I am on your side, always on your side; give me a chance to reveal divine solutions and I guarantee you will be glad you did!
… Please!
Remember that what I have in store for you is yours and yours alone and contrary to the fear that has been instil in you, I will grant your heart’s desire.
Please let go of this fear and agitation; it is interfering with us…
Yes, Angel Eyes, I love you very much... much more than you will ever know, believe or begin to understand!
You’ve been keeping me so busy; I have got to get back to the action board…. Come closer so you can watch me and keep me company… I love it when you keep me on my toes. I miss you very much; I never meant to cause you so much pain, my love.
God
I know you think that I am totalling ignoring you, the intensity of your pounding on my innermost parts is enough to make Mother Earth tremble violently and you know that I like to do things very consciously and thoroughly. You also know that taking matters to me means I have given all your chances to add your two cents. You know that even if I were to comply with your urge to rush me that I will refuse to let you have a half-baked bread all because you kick up a storm. Yes I have given you half-baked bread and watch you struggle to sink your teeth into it and then toss it away, sometimes without ever succeeding into taking a bite, all because you could not wait a little while longer to enjoy bread with milk and honey in my company, uninterrupted.
I know that you have learnt a lot and so whenever you huff and puff I let you because I know that you are still practising to reduce your discomfort from the distress of waiting.
I am the only goldsmith that knows where to penetrate and clear delusion that have blocking direct contact with the pure essence that your image and likeness was created from. Without this your life would be unfulfilled as purposely intended by this encoded substance
To experience this closeness in a manner that will truly be present with, the knower of all you have to go through the process of letting me eliminate all those adopted ideas that have been trying hard to keep me boxed-in and closed-down.
Purging that which is no longer needed in your life is a mandatory stage of being in the Refiner’s Fire. Release of the toxins and repressed emotions from your most painful wounds are safely released while in the Intensive Care because waking the subconscious can agitate you and cause you to react very turbulently.
This is what sometime cause you to want to resist the process all together instead of trusting that this facilitates the renewing of your mind, regenerating of healthy cells and character that tearing and braking down the walls that stand between you and me, your essence and ultimately fulfillment of all your desires.
Please, be still and believe that I am on your side, always on your side; give me a chance to reveal divine solutions and I guarantee you will be glad you did!
… Please!
Remember that what I have in store for you is yours and yours alone and contrary to the fear that has been instil in you, I will grant your heart’s desire.
Please let go of this fear and agitation; it is interfering with us…
Yes, Angel Eyes, I love you very much... much more than you will ever know, believe or begin to understand!
You’ve been keeping me so busy; I have got to get back to the action board…. Come closer so you can watch me and keep me company… I love it when you keep me on my toes. I miss you very much; I never meant to cause you so much pain, my love.
God
July 14, 2007
Preparation Time?
Well dear God; you sure taking your sweet time to connect the dots so I have a sense of your progress. You mean you really needed all this time before you trust that I can responsibly take care of the treasures and that no one will take your place.
You must be quite afraid or jealous. I would hate to think of you as insecure. If you are God and you own all things why are you so concerned about someone else taking your place anyway; after all, why would anyone who has the ability and willingness to give everything without money or price even think of having a competition. Who can beat your offer eh God? Who or what? Is it me you cannot trust to make wise choices or is it yourself. Please tell me. Now it’s your turn to tell me your true story. .
Maybe that is what you are preparing….your story; because you never thought I would have gotten to that point in my life where I would demand the truth, the whole truth about you, firsthand, God.
No more beating around the bush dancing on eggshells about should I challenge or should I passively believe in a God that makes no sense to me and just buckle down and pretend that I do so I can get to heaven when I die… damn it maybe no body noticed but I know that I was not always your favourite fan, because I did not care to hang out with you after I die… what for! Maybe I have the wrong picture or it is upside down or back to front or inside out… whatever!
So whether it is me you are preparing or yourself get on with the programme!
This is too much waiting because I am well unto the last lap of angst lane. Anticipation is running on empty.
Isn’t it high time to give me what you have in store for me? It’s been in that attic long enough or was it in the cellar.
Wherever this abundance is you can bring it out now!
I suppose that is what impatience for delayed gratification does. Here goes the paradox. Everything does have opposites.
Bearing the divine outcome of this preparation time I allow myself to let God go into the places where there are still pockets and crevices that are potential hideout or re-entry points for impeding external and even internal trespassers.
And say thank God for divine intervention and intelligence in spite of my impatience and unbelief these last few days!
Over and out!
You must be quite afraid or jealous. I would hate to think of you as insecure. If you are God and you own all things why are you so concerned about someone else taking your place anyway; after all, why would anyone who has the ability and willingness to give everything without money or price even think of having a competition. Who can beat your offer eh God? Who or what? Is it me you cannot trust to make wise choices or is it yourself. Please tell me. Now it’s your turn to tell me your true story. .
Maybe that is what you are preparing….your story; because you never thought I would have gotten to that point in my life where I would demand the truth, the whole truth about you, firsthand, God.
No more beating around the bush dancing on eggshells about should I challenge or should I passively believe in a God that makes no sense to me and just buckle down and pretend that I do so I can get to heaven when I die… damn it maybe no body noticed but I know that I was not always your favourite fan, because I did not care to hang out with you after I die… what for! Maybe I have the wrong picture or it is upside down or back to front or inside out… whatever!
So whether it is me you are preparing or yourself get on with the programme!
This is too much waiting because I am well unto the last lap of angst lane. Anticipation is running on empty.
Isn’t it high time to give me what you have in store for me? It’s been in that attic long enough or was it in the cellar.
Wherever this abundance is you can bring it out now!
I suppose that is what impatience for delayed gratification does. Here goes the paradox. Everything does have opposites.
Bearing the divine outcome of this preparation time I allow myself to let God go into the places where there are still pockets and crevices that are potential hideout or re-entry points for impeding external and even internal trespassers.
And say thank God for divine intervention and intelligence in spite of my impatience and unbelief these last few days!
Over and out!
July 13, 2007
The spirit is willing…but I need help to totally trust you are real, God!
I always seem to get this close to permanently give up on you and then you ceaselessly fight until you win my love back. Why do you do that, eh? Why? And once things are going well again; I promise myself to not freak out when you cut your style but somehow it always gets to me! You come across as such a prankster… a real teaser!
Humour me if you will.
What do I do when I am more inclined to believe without a doubt that the sun is shining even when it is engulf by the blackest clouds? I am finding it harder to belief that God is always there even when there are signs that He is. I am at the point where I believe that God is real only in my imagination and frankly that is what the only concept of God that will ever make sense to me.
I guess this has happened more times than I can care to entertain. You know how much I detest the way you sometimes tease and test my availability to make you my only lover and provider yet sometime the devil’s crumbs seem more sumptuous an offer than waiting to get all the bountiful gifts you have reserved for me; yet I do not plan on giving up on my dreams because of some overwhelming fear that you will snatch them away from me or enticing offer in exchange for my heartfelt longing.
I suppose that is the high of delayed gratification… and this is what keeps me holding on to you God so never mind those memos of how much you love me and will always care and be there to meet all my needs and fulfil all my dreams, enough promises- reveal your full omnipotence… just do it already, Real McCoy!
Humour me if you will.
What do I do when I am more inclined to believe without a doubt that the sun is shining even when it is engulf by the blackest clouds? I am finding it harder to belief that God is always there even when there are signs that He is. I am at the point where I believe that God is real only in my imagination and frankly that is what the only concept of God that will ever make sense to me.
I guess this has happened more times than I can care to entertain. You know how much I detest the way you sometimes tease and test my availability to make you my only lover and provider yet sometime the devil’s crumbs seem more sumptuous an offer than waiting to get all the bountiful gifts you have reserved for me; yet I do not plan on giving up on my dreams because of some overwhelming fear that you will snatch them away from me or enticing offer in exchange for my heartfelt longing.
I suppose that is the high of delayed gratification… and this is what keeps me holding on to you God so never mind those memos of how much you love me and will always care and be there to meet all my needs and fulfil all my dreams, enough promises- reveal your full omnipotence… just do it already, Real McCoy!
July 12, 2007
A BIG fight…with God; or might I say an exchange of wrath!
Lately that is all I have been doing with God- more than I would be proud to admit yet honest enough to not deny.
I even feel like his eye is on the sparrow much more than on me; and this is enough to make me put my feet down.
The way God sometimes decides to do things just doesn’t seat well with my ideas and this is causing a lot of rift between us. I even got to the point where I threatened to escalate our estrangement. Oh well, I just feel like it is high time I stopped dancing around the subject. My pagan self is on a high roll and very adamant at closing the door on our affairs and brief encounters which is what His presence had been feeling like lately as I lay burning in the heat of the Sahara Desert moment of my life on the road of narrow crossing that the bible claims is not treaded on by many.
I thought long, hard and deep as to why not many people make it and it could be they may have gotten discouraged by this ‘downer’ found in the very book where God laid all his promises. Go figure why few make it! They probably got faint hearted before they even started. Well is it any wonder I am on this rampant riot with this God. Too many things are unclear.
It is one thing to expect a new born to trust; however, when God is expecting blind trust from someone who had been bruised, burned, deceived and betrayed all because of blind trust and fragile faith God must not have realized how much a burned child wondered where the heck he is.
After a while trusting God just because he says to and not giving any evidence that it is worth it can be very, very disheartening to someone who keeps giving God another chance and another chance until one day it seem like this God seem to be made of stone. Either that or stakes are getting higher and higher before he gives me a glimpse the size I ask for, of what is in store.
I tell you when God said that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle I was this close to wishing I were that camel and praying that the eye of that needle to be bigger than the eye of a storm. That would do it!
Still I do not want to be a camel to prove God is always right because that would mean that I have no say in how I like my eggs or bacon; either that or saying that nothing will not make him love me less or take away blessings from me is a big fake. Sometimes I am convinced that I am smitten with the wrong God and even very inclined to dismiss this belief that there is a God out there who could care one bit how I make it through the day or how many of his children make it through the days of not enough or barely enough!
Well I have been reminded over and over as far back as when I was able to identify speeches and preaching that God does not like people who talk to him or treat him in a certain tone such as I have been dishing out to him lately; well too bad because I do not appreciate that he wants to call all the shots all the time either.
One day God will have everything transcribed in plain language, no guessing no wondering what He expects of me. Until then I will just go along my merry way and believe that some day, I will believe, totally believe that there is this God who will give me all my heart's desire, this God who says he has plan to prosper me and not to destroy me and obviously not destroy my dreams- I will one day know this God when he comes out from hiding, and believe him, without a shadow of a doubt when I actually reach that milestone like the three Hebrew brother's, Daniel and the countless biblical characters!
For now, call me Doubting Thomas or Stoned Stephen but that’s about as big as my mustard seed size faith is today!
And God knows!
I even feel like his eye is on the sparrow much more than on me; and this is enough to make me put my feet down.
The way God sometimes decides to do things just doesn’t seat well with my ideas and this is causing a lot of rift between us. I even got to the point where I threatened to escalate our estrangement. Oh well, I just feel like it is high time I stopped dancing around the subject. My pagan self is on a high roll and very adamant at closing the door on our affairs and brief encounters which is what His presence had been feeling like lately as I lay burning in the heat of the Sahara Desert moment of my life on the road of narrow crossing that the bible claims is not treaded on by many.
I thought long, hard and deep as to why not many people make it and it could be they may have gotten discouraged by this ‘downer’ found in the very book where God laid all his promises. Go figure why few make it! They probably got faint hearted before they even started. Well is it any wonder I am on this rampant riot with this God. Too many things are unclear.
It is one thing to expect a new born to trust; however, when God is expecting blind trust from someone who had been bruised, burned, deceived and betrayed all because of blind trust and fragile faith God must not have realized how much a burned child wondered where the heck he is.
After a while trusting God just because he says to and not giving any evidence that it is worth it can be very, very disheartening to someone who keeps giving God another chance and another chance until one day it seem like this God seem to be made of stone. Either that or stakes are getting higher and higher before he gives me a glimpse the size I ask for, of what is in store.
I tell you when God said that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle I was this close to wishing I were that camel and praying that the eye of that needle to be bigger than the eye of a storm. That would do it!
Still I do not want to be a camel to prove God is always right because that would mean that I have no say in how I like my eggs or bacon; either that or saying that nothing will not make him love me less or take away blessings from me is a big fake. Sometimes I am convinced that I am smitten with the wrong God and even very inclined to dismiss this belief that there is a God out there who could care one bit how I make it through the day or how many of his children make it through the days of not enough or barely enough!
Well I have been reminded over and over as far back as when I was able to identify speeches and preaching that God does not like people who talk to him or treat him in a certain tone such as I have been dishing out to him lately; well too bad because I do not appreciate that he wants to call all the shots all the time either.
One day God will have everything transcribed in plain language, no guessing no wondering what He expects of me. Until then I will just go along my merry way and believe that some day, I will believe, totally believe that there is this God who will give me all my heart's desire, this God who says he has plan to prosper me and not to destroy me and obviously not destroy my dreams- I will one day know this God when he comes out from hiding, and believe him, without a shadow of a doubt when I actually reach that milestone like the three Hebrew brother's, Daniel and the countless biblical characters!
For now, call me Doubting Thomas or Stoned Stephen but that’s about as big as my mustard seed size faith is today!
And God knows!
July 11, 2007
The underlying truth about fairy tales
Curiosity may have killed the cat but apathy kills the spirit’s innate spark for adventure and childlikeness interest in our world that our creativity- the stuff that dreaming and wondering thrive on to help us become the genius God created us to be.
Many of us as children were deprived of this ability to wow and awe and were quickly domesticated to think in ways unnatural and very unfriendly to God’s intention of developing great minds
We physically developed into adults; however like produce forced to mature and made ready for consumption prematurely, we lack the nourishment. In the fantasy world it is what adds the oomph and the fire of passion for life that is lacking –grossly lacking.
So in order to make up for opportunities to dream, many people sneaked into their minds and generated pure stories- uncensored and they wanted to somehow share their forbidden tales they are in fact creating and nourishing their fantasy. These stories were referred to a wishful thinking and the dreamers were treated as though something was wrong with them… and so many buried the childlike manner of capturing the marrow of life. Some however, continued to work on their ‘once upon a time’ fables and thus came the birth of many things – we call inventions.
How else did inventions begin?
Certainly not by formulas and recipes that fell from the sky like the babies we were told that arrived by planes. Nice try!
And we wonder why kids today are the ones who know how to operate all the gadgets that require a PhD to figure out!
Thinking for one’s self even in his or her ‘private’ little world, unhurried and uninterrupted, is what keeps a person whole, alive and well, close to God and creation and in touch with their fairy tales.
In other words, fantasy is a very good thing if it is not smothered by guilt, shame and ridicule; for guilt, shame and ridicule hurts the outcome of good ideas, it poisons the dreams so too speak; and the result, well ye who have ears and eyes have seen and heard it all and are desperately developing research, diseases, jails and laws for the ones who are deemed to be defiant, abnormal and reeked with disease and malfunctioning brains hear ye! Hear ye!
The ones written from the childlike state capture souls as it kept the hopeless dancing with anticipation and revive the drooping spirit or might I say, ‘it brings out the child in us.’
The down side of that is that it made the fables and myths meant to take us astray from our divinity also seem true.
Oh oblivion what has thou done to intelligence
It seem that it was easier to encourage a child to hide the fact that their fairy tale was no fairy tale but the real story of their destined path which the source figure’s fear laced story were just robbing them of…their wonderful stories created by their imagination…the very thing that God gave them the authority to do. God used his imagination intelligently. That’s the truth behind the imaginative mind that makes it possible for each person to create his or her own real world instead of being trapped in another’s. Is it any wonder we so irresistibly chase God and become so excited when he awes us? Then we reunite with our wonder child…and we resume writing another chapter of our very own fairy tale.
Fairy tales are a person’s way of championing the wounded inner spirit… of staying in touch with God, that part of them that nothing can kill!
Oh what sweet consolation!
Now that’s how dreams come alive, and inventions come to fruition, and life sparks us with saucer wide eyes as we savour the meaningfulness of life and fairy tales.
Fairy tales allows us to tap into infinite source of auspiciousness where gallant souls venture to attain the ability to connect with the source of infinite potential- the Highest Self- their God self- conscious and altruistic personality
One day I will bring my dreams to full fruition and live happily ever after.
That’s why I keep dreaming and let my imagination explode everyday, like fireworks on the 1st of July!
Many of us as children were deprived of this ability to wow and awe and were quickly domesticated to think in ways unnatural and very unfriendly to God’s intention of developing great minds
We physically developed into adults; however like produce forced to mature and made ready for consumption prematurely, we lack the nourishment. In the fantasy world it is what adds the oomph and the fire of passion for life that is lacking –grossly lacking.
So in order to make up for opportunities to dream, many people sneaked into their minds and generated pure stories- uncensored and they wanted to somehow share their forbidden tales they are in fact creating and nourishing their fantasy. These stories were referred to a wishful thinking and the dreamers were treated as though something was wrong with them… and so many buried the childlike manner of capturing the marrow of life. Some however, continued to work on their ‘once upon a time’ fables and thus came the birth of many things – we call inventions.
How else did inventions begin?
Certainly not by formulas and recipes that fell from the sky like the babies we were told that arrived by planes. Nice try!
And we wonder why kids today are the ones who know how to operate all the gadgets that require a PhD to figure out!
Thinking for one’s self even in his or her ‘private’ little world, unhurried and uninterrupted, is what keeps a person whole, alive and well, close to God and creation and in touch with their fairy tales.
In other words, fantasy is a very good thing if it is not smothered by guilt, shame and ridicule; for guilt, shame and ridicule hurts the outcome of good ideas, it poisons the dreams so too speak; and the result, well ye who have ears and eyes have seen and heard it all and are desperately developing research, diseases, jails and laws for the ones who are deemed to be defiant, abnormal and reeked with disease and malfunctioning brains hear ye! Hear ye!
The ones written from the childlike state capture souls as it kept the hopeless dancing with anticipation and revive the drooping spirit or might I say, ‘it brings out the child in us.’
The down side of that is that it made the fables and myths meant to take us astray from our divinity also seem true.
Oh oblivion what has thou done to intelligence
It seem that it was easier to encourage a child to hide the fact that their fairy tale was no fairy tale but the real story of their destined path which the source figure’s fear laced story were just robbing them of…their wonderful stories created by their imagination…the very thing that God gave them the authority to do. God used his imagination intelligently. That’s the truth behind the imaginative mind that makes it possible for each person to create his or her own real world instead of being trapped in another’s. Is it any wonder we so irresistibly chase God and become so excited when he awes us? Then we reunite with our wonder child…and we resume writing another chapter of our very own fairy tale.
Fairy tales are a person’s way of championing the wounded inner spirit… of staying in touch with God, that part of them that nothing can kill!
Oh what sweet consolation!
Now that’s how dreams come alive, and inventions come to fruition, and life sparks us with saucer wide eyes as we savour the meaningfulness of life and fairy tales.
Fairy tales allows us to tap into infinite source of auspiciousness where gallant souls venture to attain the ability to connect with the source of infinite potential- the Highest Self- their God self- conscious and altruistic personality
One day I will bring my dreams to full fruition and live happily ever after.
That’s why I keep dreaming and let my imagination explode everyday, like fireworks on the 1st of July!
July 10, 2007
Experience- an enriching harvest!
Nothing I planned ever came even remotely close to what I planned
It always, always came out as God intended to too- priceless!
Nothing could have come, even remotely, close to the benefits of experience! And though there may be, I still have not found the words or actions to describe it, not the best song or choreography or mime; neither does anything from the Guinness Book of Records come remotely close to even auditioning to qualify for knocking off experience from its status in life!
That is what experience has taught me through the years! Go experience go! I am with you all the way!
It always, always came out as God intended to too- priceless!
Nothing could have come, even remotely, close to the benefits of experience! And though there may be, I still have not found the words or actions to describe it, not the best song or choreography or mime; neither does anything from the Guinness Book of Records come remotely close to even auditioning to qualify for knocking off experience from its status in life!
That is what experience has taught me through the years! Go experience go! I am with you all the way!
July 09, 2007
Hello, Soul! Faith! Hope! Earth!
Hello, Soul;
Oh how I am happy to trust that you will always bring out the best in me!
Thank you for your patience and kindness. I am grateful that you are with me everywhere I go, whether I want you to or not. My apologies for the times I was oblivious of your power, willingness, capability and reliability to see me through each moment. Thanks for tears of joy, childlike frustration and the tears that wash away the fury of my bouts of anger. Thank you for suturing my mind, body and heart’s desires. Thank you for always wanting the best for me. Thank you for harmonizing my PMESS so impeccably. I feel very immaculate. Thank you for lifting the mitoté maya that overcasted my optimism and as schizophrenic as this may sound, thank you for the dark clouds for they really tested my faith in you. Thank you that I could endure the process, the expectations that fell through, and for the silver linings that you used to replace them. Thank you for the ability and determination to continue to climb the stairway to conscientiousness even when my heart was fainted. That was all because of you holding me up and picking me up each time I fell.
Thank you, soul; thank you
I love you; I love you very much!
I am finding it easier and easier each day to express my sincere feelings with you. I have come a long way, I’ll say!
So it is really true, that all things are possible. I think I said this mantra enough times to begin to begin to believe that it works!
Dear Faith;
You make me believe that with enough of you in me I can live to see the moon grow wings and offer me a ride to a place where souls dare to tread when it snows in summer!
Thank you for the boost of confidence, a big surge, to be more specific. Thank you for fuelling my courage and for all the free refills each time I stop along the way to take a well-deserved rest so as to not give up the oomph to continue journeying on, on this side of heaven, come what may. I feel like I am in heaven! And, if that is the closest I make it to heaven then I am with God, and, will always be with God.
Sorrows come and though matter how hard they try to stay; you always chase them away. You promised that you would always be there, and it has been so. I have lived long enough to watch the sorrows come and go and joy enough to revive my drooping spirit.
Cheers...Three Cheers!
Dear Hope;
Just when I thought that you were giving up your role in my life affairs, you proved me that you can stand in the gap with me until my faith in All Possibility revives.
Thank you for not minding when I dissed you- you must really have a broad shoulder to carry me on and, a lot of love to not give up on me. I supposed that you knew that I was at the point that if anything would help me make it through that period of testing it was you. Thank you for understanding that some days even you, made no sense at all. I figured that if all I can do and the best that I can do is hope, then life is pretty flaky. What I have to accept about you is that even though you are last resort you carry your role very elegantly and for that I applaud you!
Thank you for carrying me through life's very fragile trails!
You're the best!
Dear Earth;
Than you for all your lessons on staying grounded, and resilience to help me to stay balanced on the slopes and near precipices and everywhere in between. So many times you applauded my progress and intentions to progress. Like the branches of the trees, I dart here and there and sway to and through life’s storms, and like the roots that support the branches during the tempest; I stand strong after the wrath calms. Thank you for being big enough to swallow all my troubles and continue to encourage me to cast them all unto you. Thank you that I can cast all my cares on you and enjoy you chauffeuring me. You always reach in and touch me in ways that I cannot yet invent words to describe. You know just the place to make your presence felt. Thank you for showing me all that I can be and for helping me to rekindle my passion for soulful connection with my whole person… with life and the source of all life
Bravo!
Thank you all that I all I ever need to do is say thank you… or even just thinking thoughts of gratitude will do.
Thanks!
Oh how I am happy to trust that you will always bring out the best in me!
Thank you for your patience and kindness. I am grateful that you are with me everywhere I go, whether I want you to or not. My apologies for the times I was oblivious of your power, willingness, capability and reliability to see me through each moment. Thanks for tears of joy, childlike frustration and the tears that wash away the fury of my bouts of anger. Thank you for suturing my mind, body and heart’s desires. Thank you for always wanting the best for me. Thank you for harmonizing my PMESS so impeccably. I feel very immaculate. Thank you for lifting the mitoté maya that overcasted my optimism and as schizophrenic as this may sound, thank you for the dark clouds for they really tested my faith in you. Thank you that I could endure the process, the expectations that fell through, and for the silver linings that you used to replace them. Thank you for the ability and determination to continue to climb the stairway to conscientiousness even when my heart was fainted. That was all because of you holding me up and picking me up each time I fell.
Thank you, soul; thank you
I love you; I love you very much!
I am finding it easier and easier each day to express my sincere feelings with you. I have come a long way, I’ll say!
So it is really true, that all things are possible. I think I said this mantra enough times to begin to begin to believe that it works!
Dear Faith;
You make me believe that with enough of you in me I can live to see the moon grow wings and offer me a ride to a place where souls dare to tread when it snows in summer!
Thank you for the boost of confidence, a big surge, to be more specific. Thank you for fuelling my courage and for all the free refills each time I stop along the way to take a well-deserved rest so as to not give up the oomph to continue journeying on, on this side of heaven, come what may. I feel like I am in heaven! And, if that is the closest I make it to heaven then I am with God, and, will always be with God.
Sorrows come and though matter how hard they try to stay; you always chase them away. You promised that you would always be there, and it has been so. I have lived long enough to watch the sorrows come and go and joy enough to revive my drooping spirit.
Cheers...Three Cheers!
Dear Hope;
Just when I thought that you were giving up your role in my life affairs, you proved me that you can stand in the gap with me until my faith in All Possibility revives.
Thank you for not minding when I dissed you- you must really have a broad shoulder to carry me on and, a lot of love to not give up on me. I supposed that you knew that I was at the point that if anything would help me make it through that period of testing it was you. Thank you for understanding that some days even you, made no sense at all. I figured that if all I can do and the best that I can do is hope, then life is pretty flaky. What I have to accept about you is that even though you are last resort you carry your role very elegantly and for that I applaud you!
Thank you for carrying me through life's very fragile trails!
You're the best!
Dear Earth;
Than you for all your lessons on staying grounded, and resilience to help me to stay balanced on the slopes and near precipices and everywhere in between. So many times you applauded my progress and intentions to progress. Like the branches of the trees, I dart here and there and sway to and through life’s storms, and like the roots that support the branches during the tempest; I stand strong after the wrath calms. Thank you for being big enough to swallow all my troubles and continue to encourage me to cast them all unto you. Thank you that I can cast all my cares on you and enjoy you chauffeuring me. You always reach in and touch me in ways that I cannot yet invent words to describe. You know just the place to make your presence felt. Thank you for showing me all that I can be and for helping me to rekindle my passion for soulful connection with my whole person… with life and the source of all life
Bravo!
Thank you all that I all I ever need to do is say thank you… or even just thinking thoughts of gratitude will do.
Thanks!
July 08, 2007
Renewing my mind
Fragmented perception of what really is the killer of one’s desire to know and experience God on a purely intimate and personal level.
Encased in another person’s notion of reality as the only substance is the killer of dreams, childlikeness and adventurousness.
Many people dismissed their ability to contribute to the whole, since they dread to even imagine that each of us plays a vital part in the Master Plan and the part each person is created to play cannot and will never be as effectively performed by another. That’s why sometimes another person’s idea may be much better applied than mine and not because my ideas are injudicious or my accent, physical attribute make me an idiot.
You see, what I have discovered is that not that people are necessarily telling a lie; so much as they are telling their version of what appears or seem to be true for them. That to me is all well and good. Where the buck stops for me is that I refrain from projecting or transferring my truth as the whole truth and then coerce and manipulate people to drop their point of view. This is what causes the narrowing of the mind tactic.
Before long the world becomes a boring rut and people long to leave this world for a better place. Oh evay!
But wait what will tell I God when he demands an account of my life… Auwch!
Letting the mind absorb the notion that I cannot do anything good or agreeing that life is worthless, is a kind of death… the kind that severs the desire to take life by the hand and say lead me on.
The tension mounts and life escalates into a frenzy! I can spend the rest of my life creating a database of excuses or I can regain my gusto for life, as I want to experience it firsthand. Then though matter what I will have lived my very own life and God will go well done my good and faithful helper!
I had a mind but its contents was mere fragments of this and that and just a speck of my own thoughts lying latent for the same reason I mentioned earlier… I did not think I had anything valuable to contribute that would make any difference to improve the state of affairs on this side of heaven.
Many of the times I took on the test of proving this phenomenon but back then my mind was still seeing the same scenery if I can use such an analogy. So I figured that this was nothing but magic.
What I have come to also realize is that before anything made sense to me I had to examine my mind. At first I was afraid that I would find that it was a vacuum or an attic full of myths and fairy tales!
But I opened the door and after contenting myself with the creaking and squeaking I decided to explore; touching this and poking that and going, mmm! When did that get there and how long have this idea been waiting for me to use it. Oh my… I was moved and very overwhelmed at what a tiny speck like me had been endowed with by my Creator.
Wow!
I thought that was all I needed to say and do until I opened the door that led me into the chamber where my core was trapped with many imported ideas.
Surprise!
I’ll say!
The look on my face was enough to make my heart cry, finally, there you are… there I am. After staring for what felt like eternity, I picked it up and brushed it off. I almost choke on the debris that splashed in my face. Yeah that is what was happening to me all the time you ignored me. Oh, so sorry! That was all I could muster my strength to mutter.
I had no clue where to begin but I was determined to give myself all the love, care and attention it needed. So I fell on my knees and whenever I find myself in this fancy pose, I know that I need all the help that heaven can supply.
As was becoming my habit, I cracked the covers of the maker’s instruction manual and there was the prescription… I wasn’t sure I wanted this because that seem like it would take me more time than I had to experience the metamorphosis so quick fix sounded like a better option… isn’t that what happens when life challenges us to go within ourselves. Anything but that God... anything
But until I began to take God’s prescription and take it as prescribed “ be ye transformed by renewing of the mind” full strength I was just going around in circles.
Encased in another person’s notion of reality as the only substance is the killer of dreams, childlikeness and adventurousness.
Many people dismissed their ability to contribute to the whole, since they dread to even imagine that each of us plays a vital part in the Master Plan and the part each person is created to play cannot and will never be as effectively performed by another. That’s why sometimes another person’s idea may be much better applied than mine and not because my ideas are injudicious or my accent, physical attribute make me an idiot.
You see, what I have discovered is that not that people are necessarily telling a lie; so much as they are telling their version of what appears or seem to be true for them. That to me is all well and good. Where the buck stops for me is that I refrain from projecting or transferring my truth as the whole truth and then coerce and manipulate people to drop their point of view. This is what causes the narrowing of the mind tactic.
Before long the world becomes a boring rut and people long to leave this world for a better place. Oh evay!
But wait what will tell I God when he demands an account of my life… Auwch!
Letting the mind absorb the notion that I cannot do anything good or agreeing that life is worthless, is a kind of death… the kind that severs the desire to take life by the hand and say lead me on.
The tension mounts and life escalates into a frenzy! I can spend the rest of my life creating a database of excuses or I can regain my gusto for life, as I want to experience it firsthand. Then though matter what I will have lived my very own life and God will go well done my good and faithful helper!
I had a mind but its contents was mere fragments of this and that and just a speck of my own thoughts lying latent for the same reason I mentioned earlier… I did not think I had anything valuable to contribute that would make any difference to improve the state of affairs on this side of heaven.
Many of the times I took on the test of proving this phenomenon but back then my mind was still seeing the same scenery if I can use such an analogy. So I figured that this was nothing but magic.
What I have come to also realize is that before anything made sense to me I had to examine my mind. At first I was afraid that I would find that it was a vacuum or an attic full of myths and fairy tales!
But I opened the door and after contenting myself with the creaking and squeaking I decided to explore; touching this and poking that and going, mmm! When did that get there and how long have this idea been waiting for me to use it. Oh my… I was moved and very overwhelmed at what a tiny speck like me had been endowed with by my Creator.
Wow!
I thought that was all I needed to say and do until I opened the door that led me into the chamber where my core was trapped with many imported ideas.
Surprise!
I’ll say!
The look on my face was enough to make my heart cry, finally, there you are… there I am. After staring for what felt like eternity, I picked it up and brushed it off. I almost choke on the debris that splashed in my face. Yeah that is what was happening to me all the time you ignored me. Oh, so sorry! That was all I could muster my strength to mutter.
I had no clue where to begin but I was determined to give myself all the love, care and attention it needed. So I fell on my knees and whenever I find myself in this fancy pose, I know that I need all the help that heaven can supply.
As was becoming my habit, I cracked the covers of the maker’s instruction manual and there was the prescription… I wasn’t sure I wanted this because that seem like it would take me more time than I had to experience the metamorphosis so quick fix sounded like a better option… isn’t that what happens when life challenges us to go within ourselves. Anything but that God... anything
But until I began to take God’s prescription and take it as prescribed “ be ye transformed by renewing of the mind” full strength I was just going around in circles.
July 07, 2007
What keep me trekking onward!
I realize a long while ago that being a social camper and workaholic were very exhausting lifestyles. In a desperate need for people to not call me loner, detached, crazy, depressed isolated creep, selfish, strange, different, refusing work, lazy bum, I pushed myself beyond what the human yoke was designed to do without rest, many times without oomph or an adequate source of refuelling.
How did the ancestors do it! How did they keep up?
This is no legend! This is no torch worth carrying or passing on!
I drained myself of all energy and quietly ignored my desire to go away to a place where solitude approved of my ‘escape’.
Thank God, I understood the meaning of my ouches. Though it did not have to take me all these ouches that is how much it took before I took heed, i took heed later than sooner yet the point is I did and that is all there is to it!
Taking time off from the outside to attend to life on the inside is a great gift to my self from myself. It is there I find the tools I need readily and abundantly available to restoring my wholesomeness. I thought that I was always taking care of myself… the harshness of the truth ripped me apart when I came to terms with the fact that I have only been doing a quick touch here and little refuels there and that just was not enough to keep me going or even close!
Really taking care of myself required a lot of catching up therefore it was not something I could accomplish according to another’s time line or approach or in the clamour that bombarded the voice that I should be listening to.
I had to allow myself to enjoy a safe place where I listen to my cells enough to understand their needs and respond accordingly. Like everything new, it takes time, patience, encouragement and determination to succeed in attaining the best outcome.
Knowing that God can use all things for its good, and not at all interested in th ehurry up way of restoring what obvioulsy was not damaged in a day; I was not surprise that the objective of the lesson of my ouches is the same reason as that of the butterfly working its way out of the cocoon.
That is some encouragement along the way as I allow myself to continue healing and so I keep on trekking onward!
How did the ancestors do it! How did they keep up?
This is no legend! This is no torch worth carrying or passing on!
I drained myself of all energy and quietly ignored my desire to go away to a place where solitude approved of my ‘escape’.
Thank God, I understood the meaning of my ouches. Though it did not have to take me all these ouches that is how much it took before I took heed, i took heed later than sooner yet the point is I did and that is all there is to it!
Taking time off from the outside to attend to life on the inside is a great gift to my self from myself. It is there I find the tools I need readily and abundantly available to restoring my wholesomeness. I thought that I was always taking care of myself… the harshness of the truth ripped me apart when I came to terms with the fact that I have only been doing a quick touch here and little refuels there and that just was not enough to keep me going or even close!
Really taking care of myself required a lot of catching up therefore it was not something I could accomplish according to another’s time line or approach or in the clamour that bombarded the voice that I should be listening to.
I had to allow myself to enjoy a safe place where I listen to my cells enough to understand their needs and respond accordingly. Like everything new, it takes time, patience, encouragement and determination to succeed in attaining the best outcome.
Knowing that God can use all things for its good, and not at all interested in th ehurry up way of restoring what obvioulsy was not damaged in a day; I was not surprise that the objective of the lesson of my ouches is the same reason as that of the butterfly working its way out of the cocoon.
That is some encouragement along the way as I allow myself to continue healing and so I keep on trekking onward!
July 06, 2007
Change -the storm and the gentle breeze
Transformation is one hell of an experience and the best and worst thing about it is that it is inevitable.
The change that hit me the most is the kind that hits like an unpredictable storm. Though matter how much I remind myself of the last time I made it through a PMESS tornado unscathed I find myself drifting from the eye. When what I believe in clashes with what I do not or no longer believe in it can occur as a gentle breeze; however there are the times when the combination of opposing view point tremble violently in my mind as each works to take residence in my consciousness. Ultimately only good can reside within and until everything can be used for its highest good takes up its rightful place the storms of life will continue to blow away my covers so that what is no longer welcomed to nest in my consciousness will vacate.
I thank the ‘winds of change’ fury and gentleness for propelling my enthusiasm to redirect my energy so that I can use it for good.
The change that hit me the most is the kind that hits like an unpredictable storm. Though matter how much I remind myself of the last time I made it through a PMESS tornado unscathed I find myself drifting from the eye. When what I believe in clashes with what I do not or no longer believe in it can occur as a gentle breeze; however there are the times when the combination of opposing view point tremble violently in my mind as each works to take residence in my consciousness. Ultimately only good can reside within and until everything can be used for its highest good takes up its rightful place the storms of life will continue to blow away my covers so that what is no longer welcomed to nest in my consciousness will vacate.
I thank the ‘winds of change’ fury and gentleness for propelling my enthusiasm to redirect my energy so that I can use it for good.
July 04, 2007
Peaceful Interlude
Sleeping in long enough so the body can mend and repair is one of the best gifts I can give to my souls’ temple. With Mother Nature making sure that I nest cosily, I tucked my head back on my pillow and lost all cares for what today was suppose to be in my own limited way.
Rest, rest awhile was all my spirit, body and mind kept whispering each interval I woke up thinking that it was high time to get out of bed as though I was missing some super moment worth aborting my healing time.
Gone are the days I thought I was responsible for holding up the planet in position lest it falls and I forfeit my manna from heaven or worse my passport to eternity.
I am making remarkable progress in discerning the difference between the conditioned brain cells coaxing me and my intuition reminding me that I can and must think of what is best for myself, without feeling like I am neglecting anyone else in so doing.
It took a lot practise to be like the little train that said I think …I can I think I can… I did!
God continues to prepare me to accomplish many things he has written on my heart. While he does that he whispers rest, rest, rest awhile my child, rest!
And so I happily enjoyed today’s peaceful interlude, knowing that it is not too late to be all I can be!
Rest, rest awhile was all my spirit, body and mind kept whispering each interval I woke up thinking that it was high time to get out of bed as though I was missing some super moment worth aborting my healing time.
Gone are the days I thought I was responsible for holding up the planet in position lest it falls and I forfeit my manna from heaven or worse my passport to eternity.
I am making remarkable progress in discerning the difference between the conditioned brain cells coaxing me and my intuition reminding me that I can and must think of what is best for myself, without feeling like I am neglecting anyone else in so doing.
It took a lot practise to be like the little train that said I think …I can I think I can… I did!
God continues to prepare me to accomplish many things he has written on my heart. While he does that he whispers rest, rest, rest awhile my child, rest!
And so I happily enjoyed today’s peaceful interlude, knowing that it is not too late to be all I can be!
July 02, 2007
The bitter divorce
When everything that I ever believed to be true turned out to be lies, and half-truths I thought I would die before I would restore my trust in… in, in what… I honestly had no clue. Even God was a lie and myself that self that I spent years constructing according to this volumes and volumes of people's perception of what is, was also a lie, a very big lie. The worse part was the tainted truth; because, it almost took me all of my days to identify the part that is true... and so I almost, almost dismissed myself. Since I no longer wanted to live in a constant state of confusion I decided to seek my own truth and move on, believing that ultimately the whole truth will be revealed as God intends.
Severing the connection between my God self and its rival the imagined illusions of self has been an ongoing feud.
There are times when I thought I was fighting a losing battle each time I came this close to succumbing to the temptation to dismiss my birthright. Deep within me there was this determination to pursue divinity as I continued to chase away the fury of voice of defeat.
Sometime the heat of the arguments was so intense that I gave in to the treacherous attack of the old way of coping in heat of battle. Granted the persistent of the spirit of control to run my life and dictate what I should and shouldn’t be, appeased. I used this strategy to get them off guard and then WHAM I would kick them out.
But one day I decide to stop fighting fire with fire and miraculously the war ceased. I realized that the more energy and attention I furiously devoted to trapping my emotion, denying and drowning my inkling to give myself permission to be myself, the more futile the torment. Toxicity began to fester as I continued to feed the fear of dealing with my feelings, ideas and visions of my life lay latent inside of me.
I suppose all this time God was patiently teaching me that surrendering does not mean weakness or failure or evidence of being a nobody.
I plan to keep that in my consciousness. As the roots of the tree burrows deep into the core of the earth for nourishment so I dig deep down into my well to the place where God provides life-sustaining stuff for my soul, body and mind.
Just as the roots become more firmly embedded into the earth’s core so I become more grounded in the confidence that God will always keep me strong. This is the lesson I have learnt as I look at the giant trees that stand tall and steadfast after a storm.
Trusting myself to write my own story according to Gods’ script was the hardest goal on my list… and I did it!
Now I have to continue trusting myself to write my story according to God’s imprint upon my heart!
Everything else will fall in line!
I wonder if that is what scripture means by ‘seeking first the kingdom of God and everything else will be given unto you’. Well this is my interpretation of scripture as it speaks to me, personally.
Severing the connection between my God self and its rival the imagined illusions of self has been an ongoing feud.
There are times when I thought I was fighting a losing battle each time I came this close to succumbing to the temptation to dismiss my birthright. Deep within me there was this determination to pursue divinity as I continued to chase away the fury of voice of defeat.
Sometime the heat of the arguments was so intense that I gave in to the treacherous attack of the old way of coping in heat of battle. Granted the persistent of the spirit of control to run my life and dictate what I should and shouldn’t be, appeased. I used this strategy to get them off guard and then WHAM I would kick them out.
But one day I decide to stop fighting fire with fire and miraculously the war ceased. I realized that the more energy and attention I furiously devoted to trapping my emotion, denying and drowning my inkling to give myself permission to be myself, the more futile the torment. Toxicity began to fester as I continued to feed the fear of dealing with my feelings, ideas and visions of my life lay latent inside of me.
I suppose all this time God was patiently teaching me that surrendering does not mean weakness or failure or evidence of being a nobody.
I plan to keep that in my consciousness. As the roots of the tree burrows deep into the core of the earth for nourishment so I dig deep down into my well to the place where God provides life-sustaining stuff for my soul, body and mind.
Just as the roots become more firmly embedded into the earth’s core so I become more grounded in the confidence that God will always keep me strong. This is the lesson I have learnt as I look at the giant trees that stand tall and steadfast after a storm.
Trusting myself to write my own story according to Gods’ script was the hardest goal on my list… and I did it!
Now I have to continue trusting myself to write my story according to God’s imprint upon my heart!
Everything else will fall in line!
I wonder if that is what scripture means by ‘seeking first the kingdom of God and everything else will be given unto you’. Well this is my interpretation of scripture as it speaks to me, personally.
July 01, 2007
Revelry with Mother Nature all life long
I listen to the birds sing and imitate their sprightliness while I watch the trees happily dance to the rhythms of the wind with no care for the pestilence that attempts to intimidate their spirit.
With the Universe providing entertaining lessons to facilitate my learning style at a pace that God has scheduled even when I feel like caving in I end up dancing as gracefully as a gazelle basking in beauty and poise.
The day conceives many lesson and teaching opportunities
Breathless and in awe I watch nature tell her story until the sun hides behind the horizon and make way for the moon to share its glory
Peek a boo, I miss you
Peaceful reverie
Thank you Mother Nature for helping me beam
With the Universe providing entertaining lessons to facilitate my learning style at a pace that God has scheduled even when I feel like caving in I end up dancing as gracefully as a gazelle basking in beauty and poise.
The day conceives many lesson and teaching opportunities
Breathless and in awe I watch nature tell her story until the sun hides behind the horizon and make way for the moon to share its glory
Peek a boo, I miss you
Peaceful reverie
Thank you Mother Nature for helping me beam
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