I used to be afraid. Then I became afraid of being afraid. For quite some time that is all I did- being afraid of being afraid. Fear and its buddies- doubt, ignorance and nervousness- invaded my life and took over my sanity of reality. At first I felt like they were my helpers and friends. My mind encouraged me to believe that I cannot and would not survive without the active meddling in my self management. I tolerated the manipulation and intrusion in all my affairs and decisions.
Big mistake!
The day came when I had enough. My cup of joy and happiness were empty while pain of panic was full to the brim. It was overflowing. That is not what I needed or wanted for myself nor did I wish or intend to pass it on.
I acknowledged my fears- even that was not enough. I had to feel those fears and let me tell you, they were in my bones, in my mind; they were crowding my very being- my soul. That was scary!
The next best idea was to abandon them, only to find them back at the first sign of trouble. They were all too familiar with my coping mechanisms and were always ready to come to my rescue. I expose myself to their tricks. Yet again, their security and comfort zone warranty was unreliable.
At my wits end, I agreed to befriend them for a while for the sake of allowing them to reveal their strategy of assistance since all things happen for a reason that may last a season or live a lifetime.
Sure enough, these ghostly companions began to present to me their full function in my consiousness. Illusions and its buddies were helping me to transform and transmit limitations and assisted me to welcome activities to encourage me to accept that I have wants, I have needs. So instead of denying, ignoring and repressing my emotions, passion and thoughts and responsibility for taking appropriate actions I acknowledge exclaimed my gratitude to all that played havoc with my dignity.
No sooner did I understand their purpose the grip of fear, oblivion, began waving adios mitote as they applaud me for igniting that fuel joyful living.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment