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December 22, 2008

Invisible burdens- heavy cargo

Invisible burdens- heavy cargo

I have come to realize and accept that I am responsible for my now all the time, knowing that the moment is best directed by my RomeoGod. I am also responsible for how I almost allowed the past to determine and undermine everyday happiness. Most times I did things with my spirit a little half-heartedly simply because I wanted spirit to always let me know what’s up ahead before I decided to cooperate with its intelligence because I had become very doubting even of my heart

How could I not have discarded God from my life when all she used to do was punish, punish and punish. Who needs a god like that in their lives? Certainly, not me! I must say that I would have not made it to this intersection had I not dismiss the teachings and vision of a god that was made of bile which I know for sure does not exist

Testing God’s love for me was the most invisible and heaviest assignment handed from hell kingdom institutions. How could the God who loves me so much be so much against me and how long do I have to exist considering all the list of things that are in the forbidden corner of heaven? There is no way that this creator or creature loves me or human beings for crying out loud!

The sad thing is that I was punishing my spirit- burying my soul in anguish as I lamented the thought of not being good enough to receive even a glimpse of my Creator by believing someone else figment of imagination instead of mine

Was I wrong!

I know now that spirit had all good intentions for me all along; it just had the scariest ways of showing up. Thanks to insight of hindsight I am grateful for those circumstances because they helped me to recognize the presence of omnipotence within me. I firmly hold on to the saying that ‘from the darkness comes the light’ and “from the darkest nights come the brightest days”. It is for this reason that I have become smitten with the God who loves, the God who heals, the God who never forsake me.

I intend on honouring the harvest of the years spent in agony and the experience while living in the valley of desolation, even though I still feel a bit disappointed about all the energy I exhausted fighting with God until I understand that letting go of false ideas was the easiest way to unload the invisible burden of finding God. My search for truth is what led me along narrow paths, wide lanes, and detours to God and that was nothing compared to the heavy cargo of despair and the panic that arouse in outrageous attempts to evade life and invade the soul with disorder and set the mind and body on fire pretending to be claiming lives for God meanwhile depleting the immune system

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