Be ye transformed

Do not let burdens steal your joy

Engaging in activities that re-establish and expand my intuitive faculty is more than just a dream. That helped the quaking fear of flopping subside- naturally and a lot of the things I dream that did not happen because of fear are re-presenting the offer of “you can do it, dear, yes you can! Of course most that is now accomplished with my spirit of originalness!

I did not even enjoy the thrill that came with the possibility of actually getting my dream pass the thought stage The fear gnawed at my ‘I wonder’ moments as the word impossible kept making it frequent visits and for a long time I remained in the comfort zone Talk about discomfort in the comfort zone! It was so horrible that I decided to take baby steps away from it.
About a decade ago and until a few years I sat down one day and decided to rescue those ‘I want to… before I die from the clutch of the ‘impossible’ disease. That did not really help as much as I thought because all it was a list of things to do and a lot of trouble. I took an adult step and perked it up by putting a frame to it. I made progress- small but very rewarding. Enough so, that I was inspired to attempt the more adventurous dreams Well by then they had moved from the dream category and making its way to I know I can do it. My life became more exciting. I began filling it with accomplishment after accomplishment. I think I cranked it up to giant size scenarios when I began to imagine living my life backwards

Among the things I have done is conquering the most dreaded fears. what if I drown and what if I get hit by a car racing the amber light while I am waiting for a safe moment to make a left turn. what if I fell on the slopes trying to be Canadian. I skated in the ice rink, I rowed on the lake and yes I was at the light waiting to make a left turn. None of the things I feared ever came to pass. Had I kept replaying the consequences in my mind, I would have never left the discomfort zone of fear. Instead I would have died from the fear of drowning or of dying and obviously die wondering what if I had taken the chance instead of succumbing to chronic fear

I chose to live in spite of the fear. I did not do those things for the trophies and bravos or a perfect driver’s record I did it to face my fears- those bloated nothingness

Before I could get out of the comfort zone and attempt conquering those zombies, I had to retrain my thinking. I began writing my own affirmations to encourage me because after I wrote them down I needed to fill the empty pockets before more fear tactics invaded the space fear freed me the day I signed up on the dragon boat team. Had I keep telling myself that I could not swim and swore that no one will catch me alive in the middle of a lake on a boat, I would not have conquered that fear I did not care whether we took the cup to work the next day I already had mine The plaque was a bonus I don’t even know who has it You see it was team effort and rewarded as such And that is more important than where it is

It was not long after that I stopped envying the motivators who conquered the CN Tower Stairs…every one of them. For someone with no endurance training to match those stairs, the race started after I climbed the equivalent of eighteen stories and then the test of letting go of fear began. You see, I used to live on the 18th floor of a building where taking the stairs was the best alternative to waiting forever for an elevator ride.

The CN Tower challenge ends officially when you are two flights away from the top. For me the challenge end when I was remotely close to those two flights of stairs because I had already accomplished my aim It did not matter how long it took me I did it I even surprised myself when my timer displayed a record of 40 minutes and 11 seconds The value is priceless And wait till I tell you about my ski trip The person who had so many layers during spring and fall during her maiden year in Canada was skiing downhill for her lunch wearing only 10 % of the layers that she wore back then. That was long time ago and still it feel likes now whenever I recapulate my life in search of the good times

I remember the day, about two decades years ago, when I called the Seneca College information line after I heard that it was minus 40 degrees Celsius the night of a final exam The voice on the other line told me to just bundle up and be on time for the exam Boy did I pack to take the next flight out! Instead I opted for a perfect score on the test. Did I get it… you bet! But more than A+ grade was the courage that I did not know existed in me amidst all the maladies At that time, the weather conditions or the thought of failing did not matter

I am not saying that everyone has to have those experiences nor should anyone dare venture out the way I did

Spending some time with one’s self and discover the person deep inside; not the temporal benefits with its fleeting highs

Be true to yourself and dare to honour you, love and respect you- your accomplishments as well as your moments of brokeness. Doing this is not a symptom of depression or grandiose but rather it is the transformation and healing of the mind

When you trust that I don’t have to plan your own program or have anyone else except your OmniGod plan it for me is what I think it means to be of this world but not of it

Had I waited for a better time I would have been lamenting the many things I could have done and can no longer fathom doing because the body will not let me and I would be full of fears and regret. Life would really be sweetless and stressful living would murder and kill my spirit and I would not even consider what I can still do and the things that I can now do and do even better. The way earth speaks is no hanky panky bootie talk

It’s really a marvellously sweet idea to carpe diem!

That is my intention for giving, receiving and sharing.