Do not let burdens steal your joy
Engaging in activities that re-establish and expand my intuitive faculty is more than just a dream. That helped the quaking fear of flopping subside- naturally and a lot of the things I dream that did not happen because of fear are re-presenting the offer of “you can do it, dear, yes you can! Of course most that is now accomplished with my spirit of originalness!
I did not even enjoy the thrill that came with the possibility of actually getting my dream pass the thought stage The fear gnawed at my ‘I wonder’ moments as the word impossible kept making it frequent visits and for a long time I remained in the comfort zone Talk about discomfort in the comfort zone! It was so horrible that I decided to take baby steps away from it.
About a decade ago and until a few years I sat down one day and decided to rescue those ‘I want to… before I die from the clutch of the ‘impossible’ disease. That did not really help as much as I thought because all it was a list of things to do and a lot of trouble. I took an adult step and perked it up by putting a frame to it. I made progress- small but very rewarding. Enough so, that I was inspired to attempt the more adventurous dreams Well by then they had moved from the dream category and making its way to I know I can do it. My life became more exciting. I began filling it with accomplishment after accomplishment. I think I cranked it up to giant size scenarios when I began to imagine living my life backwards
Among the things I have done is conquering the most dreaded fears. what if I drown and what if I get hit by a car racing the amber light while I am waiting for a safe moment to make a left turn. what if I fell on the slopes trying to be Canadian. I skated in the ice rink, I rowed on the lake and yes I was at the light waiting to make a left turn. None of the things I feared ever came to pass. Had I kept replaying the consequences in my mind, I would have never left the discomfort zone of fear. Instead I would have died from the fear of drowning or of dying and obviously die wondering what if I had taken the chance instead of succumbing to chronic fear
I chose to live in spite of the fear. I did not do those things for the trophies and bravos or a perfect driver’s record I did it to face my fears- those bloated nothingness
Before I could get out of the comfort zone and attempt conquering those zombies, I had to retrain my thinking. I began writing my own affirmations to encourage me because after I wrote them down I needed to fill the empty pockets before more fear tactics invaded the space fear freed me the day I signed up on the dragon boat team. Had I keep telling myself that I could not swim and swore that no one will catch me alive in the middle of a lake on a boat, I would not have conquered that fear I did not care whether we took the cup to work the next day I already had mine The plaque was a bonus I don’t even know who has it You see it was team effort and rewarded as such And that is more important than where it is
It was not long after that I stopped envying the motivators who conquered the CN Tower Stairs…every one of them. For someone with no endurance training to match those stairs, the race started after I climbed the equivalent of eighteen stories and then the test of letting go of fear began. You see, I used to live on the 18th floor of a building where taking the stairs was the best alternative to waiting forever for an elevator ride.
The CN Tower challenge ends officially when you are two flights away from the top. For me the challenge end when I was remotely close to those two flights of stairs because I had already accomplished my aim It did not matter how long it took me I did it I even surprised myself when my timer displayed a record of 40 minutes and 11 seconds The value is priceless And wait till I tell you about my ski trip The person who had so many layers during spring and fall during her maiden year in Canada was skiing downhill for her lunch wearing only 10 % of the layers that she wore back then. That was long time ago and still it feel likes now whenever I recapulate my life in search of the good times
I remember the day, about two decades years ago, when I called the Seneca College information line after I heard that it was minus 40 degrees Celsius the night of a final exam The voice on the other line told me to just bundle up and be on time for the exam Boy did I pack to take the next flight out! Instead I opted for a perfect score on the test. Did I get it… you bet! But more than A+ grade was the courage that I did not know existed in me amidst all the maladies At that time, the weather conditions or the thought of failing did not matter
I am not saying that everyone has to have those experiences nor should anyone dare venture out the way I did
Spending some time with one’s self and discover the person deep inside; not the temporal benefits with its fleeting highs
Be true to yourself and dare to honour you, love and respect you- your accomplishments as well as your moments of brokeness. Doing this is not a symptom of depression or grandiose but rather it is the transformation and healing of the mind
When you trust that I don’t have to plan your own program or have anyone else except your OmniGod plan it for me is what I think it means to be of this world but not of it
Had I waited for a better time I would have been lamenting the many things I could have done and can no longer fathom doing because the body will not let me and I would be full of fears and regret. Life would really be sweetless and stressful living would murder and kill my spirit and I would not even consider what I can still do and the things that I can now do and do even better. The way earth speaks is no hanky panky bootie talk
It’s really a marvellously sweet idea to carpe diem!
That is my intention for giving, receiving and sharing.
December 31, 2008
December 30, 2008
Inventory Time
So many opportunities appear wrapped up in disguise as trouble, failure, mistakes, and punishment that cause souls to be skeptical, often giving up on all kinds of possibilities especially when engaging the victim and judge attitude..
What I have learnt and still continue to discover is that life’s challenges are not just a way to fuss, or is it force, the mind into a pool of pity, shame, guilt and feeling of worthlessness.
Life situations provide opportunity to reach in to one’s soul and use the power and the strength and the courage that is packed in spirit to overcome the negative feelings and allow life’s tangles to transform experiences into positive outlook, thereby encouraging mind to remain in tune with authenticity.
Do not let burdens steal bliss is what I have attained from life's bruisers. I make a daily agreement with my heart to keep the victim and the judge out of business and keep spirit and soul in charge of presenting all kinds of possibilities that makes mind honour its integrity
What I have learnt and still continue to discover is that life’s challenges are not just a way to fuss, or is it force, the mind into a pool of pity, shame, guilt and feeling of worthlessness.
Life situations provide opportunity to reach in to one’s soul and use the power and the strength and the courage that is packed in spirit to overcome the negative feelings and allow life’s tangles to transform experiences into positive outlook, thereby encouraging mind to remain in tune with authenticity.
Do not let burdens steal bliss is what I have attained from life's bruisers. I make a daily agreement with my heart to keep the victim and the judge out of business and keep spirit and soul in charge of presenting all kinds of possibilities that makes mind honour its integrity
December 29, 2008
Hello, this is doubting Thomas here!
Angeal-Eyes
I look at you with utmost respect and admiration of how you pursued your honest doubts; after all you gave my story a good rap. We give curiosity a good name and heavenly fame
You have conquered the world’s biggest fear- finding truth firsthand and then agreeing to hang out with it; it’s likes meeting Jesus alive and then putting your hands in the holes in his hands, feet and side. And like Thomas teh doubter trade your doubt for pure awareness
Indeed that puts all earthly royalties at the bottom of the ocean
I look at you with utmost respect and admiration of how you pursued your honest doubts; after all you gave my story a good rap. We give curiosity a good name and heavenly fame
You have conquered the world’s biggest fear- finding truth firsthand and then agreeing to hang out with it; it’s likes meeting Jesus alive and then putting your hands in the holes in his hands, feet and side. And like Thomas teh doubter trade your doubt for pure awareness
Indeed that puts all earthly royalties at the bottom of the ocean
Kudos, girl!
December 28, 2008
Emotional emulsion
A present feeling of a forgotten past is an opportunity to attend to the lessons that keeps re-presenting itself for completion and fulfillment
For the sake of resting in peace before my finite form finally sinks back to the belly of the earth I take my final walk through hellhole
The way I used to pick and choose attending to life situations was to pretend it was letters on scrabble board. I could shuffle, exchange, miss a turn, make a small word or score even one point and amaze myself at triple point highs.
In the emotional game I would throw back the biggies and attend to the anthill and figure I will have a better time. Just like I used to expect to have a better set of letters to hit the triple score so too I needed more energy and courage and perseverance and discipline to emulsify the boogies that continued to grow
It is amazing how this simple network of energy can become complex and complicated. I am eager and patient when it comes to unraveling emotions as soon as they creep up and out of and mix in current life situations. Another lifetime of the same lesson because I chose to play life like a game of scrabble is not life’s idea and I certainly do not want a lifetime of yesterdays to invade today and start poisoning tomorrow. Therefore, I emulsify the emotions so that they are easier identified, clarified, dissolved or rebalanced and harmonized. That makes emotion like a fine tuned orchestra of a Symphony
I suppose that is what is meant by playing the hand; and a stitch in time saves nine and, in for a penny, in for a pound
For the sake of resting in peace before my finite form finally sinks back to the belly of the earth I take my final walk through hellhole
The way I used to pick and choose attending to life situations was to pretend it was letters on scrabble board. I could shuffle, exchange, miss a turn, make a small word or score even one point and amaze myself at triple point highs.
In the emotional game I would throw back the biggies and attend to the anthill and figure I will have a better time. Just like I used to expect to have a better set of letters to hit the triple score so too I needed more energy and courage and perseverance and discipline to emulsify the boogies that continued to grow
It is amazing how this simple network of energy can become complex and complicated. I am eager and patient when it comes to unraveling emotions as soon as they creep up and out of and mix in current life situations. Another lifetime of the same lesson because I chose to play life like a game of scrabble is not life’s idea and I certainly do not want a lifetime of yesterdays to invade today and start poisoning tomorrow. Therefore, I emulsify the emotions so that they are easier identified, clarified, dissolved or rebalanced and harmonized. That makes emotion like a fine tuned orchestra of a Symphony
I suppose that is what is meant by playing the hand; and a stitch in time saves nine and, in for a penny, in for a pound
December 27, 2008
Knowing God firsthand!
Jesus overcame the tomb by mesmerizing scholars!
Mankind too can overcome the tomb by mesmerizing systematic beliefs
The Angel of Death is always ready to sweep away the residual debris hiding out in the mental chambers by swallowing everything that frightens its flock
When Jesus foretold the disciples that everything that threatens them is under their feet; he was coaching them to use their whole person, senses and all, to figure out how he, Jesus successfully did that. He knew earth is his friend and his breath is his enigmatic companion
Mankind too can overcome the tomb by mesmerizing systematic beliefs
The Angel of Death is always ready to sweep away the residual debris hiding out in the mental chambers by swallowing everything that frightens its flock
When Jesus foretold the disciples that everything that threatens them is under their feet; he was coaching them to use their whole person, senses and all, to figure out how he, Jesus successfully did that. He knew earth is his friend and his breath is his enigmatic companion
December 26, 2008
one breath at a time- in God’s world
it is only in hell kingdom that multitasking tries to make itself appear sensible
energy release in such fashion only adds to earth combustion- hell’s fumes and heaven’s bliss do not make very productive microorganisms
and earth can handle only so much overload before it begins to relieve itself
knowing how mother earth loves it, is another reason to cooperate consciously with the cosmos- one breath at a time
energy release in such fashion only adds to earth combustion- hell’s fumes and heaven’s bliss do not make very productive microorganisms
and earth can handle only so much overload before it begins to relieve itself
knowing how mother earth loves it, is another reason to cooperate consciously with the cosmos- one breath at a time
December 25, 2008
I AM
Good day Angeal-Eyes
I AM that I AM is very pleased with you and you know that and believe that from a heart in it is pure state of consciousness
Bravo for hitching your wagon of dreams to God-big dreams; God’s big bang, if you will
I know that going back to Earth’s womb was really like a camel going through the eye of a needle
Had I continued allowing you to build my destiny strictly by literally linguistic interpretation life would eventually snap from rigidity.
Scripture speaks in such a way to make personal application of Ancient Wisdom flexible enough to apply to each fragment of God called humanity.
Breaking loose from this bondage called hell as experienced on earth is what Resurrection and Ascension into heaven right here on earth means to you and it is all good with me
When God used the analogy of hitching one yoke to its wagon; personally you believe that he was speaking on behalf of Mother Earth’s intention to help her out in providing all the essential for humanity. You always sense the connection between Earth, Nature and God. For one, Earth teaches without as much as a care for what humanity throws at it. You have made mention of this in many of my previous entries here.
When you choose to not rumble to God, God thunders to get your attention. You are now sold on your very own concept of calling God, OmniGod and Mother Earth. That explains why Father time need to be submissive.
It’s good to trust that!
Mother earth’s dream is big and humanity has been endowed with helping her to fulfill the ultimate dream to provide and care for all of us. Now you read and deploy Psalm 8 with awakened interpretation of vocabulary. It is earth speaking symbolically as God. Remember God is God and can do anything, so if God wants to use Mother Earth to make a poignant point in a simple way that even the babes and the suckling of the awakening/transformation process called daily dying to our small dreams and join Earth in her big dream, then believe that God has every reason to use Mother Earth- be it in human form or plant or anything Mother earth can give birth to. This also makes you see why the bible refers to human as earth and being the salt of the earth. Salt in the human cells is very important in keeping the protoplasm in tact. Maybe that is what Jesus is implying by saying the eye cannot say to the rectum watch out buddy I can see everything; it knows fine well what can happens when rectum constipates and goes on strike!
From all this Earth School lessons that God had really promised that one day She will explain to me is reason enough to keep my perception of what is in constant flow and rhythm with the moment as it unfolds according to Nature’s Intention.
What is true to you today and applicable to me now could very well be detrimental to one’s health in another lifetime- lifetime here can last one breath or several breaths, it all depends on how long it takes to get the point and take position in sync with the cosmos
And so I continue to urge you to scrap personal dreams and trade them for a seat on earth’ ride as it spins and plummet and balances itself as it knows best how to.
It’s now back to the classroom. Today’s lectures are taking place smack between your eyes and I don’t want you to miss a thing!
I AM that I AM is very pleased with you and you know that and believe that from a heart in it is pure state of consciousness
Bravo for hitching your wagon of dreams to God-big dreams; God’s big bang, if you will
I know that going back to Earth’s womb was really like a camel going through the eye of a needle
Had I continued allowing you to build my destiny strictly by literally linguistic interpretation life would eventually snap from rigidity.
Scripture speaks in such a way to make personal application of Ancient Wisdom flexible enough to apply to each fragment of God called humanity.
Breaking loose from this bondage called hell as experienced on earth is what Resurrection and Ascension into heaven right here on earth means to you and it is all good with me
When God used the analogy of hitching one yoke to its wagon; personally you believe that he was speaking on behalf of Mother Earth’s intention to help her out in providing all the essential for humanity. You always sense the connection between Earth, Nature and God. For one, Earth teaches without as much as a care for what humanity throws at it. You have made mention of this in many of my previous entries here.
When you choose to not rumble to God, God thunders to get your attention. You are now sold on your very own concept of calling God, OmniGod and Mother Earth. That explains why Father time need to be submissive.
It’s good to trust that!
Mother earth’s dream is big and humanity has been endowed with helping her to fulfill the ultimate dream to provide and care for all of us. Now you read and deploy Psalm 8 with awakened interpretation of vocabulary. It is earth speaking symbolically as God. Remember God is God and can do anything, so if God wants to use Mother Earth to make a poignant point in a simple way that even the babes and the suckling of the awakening/transformation process called daily dying to our small dreams and join Earth in her big dream, then believe that God has every reason to use Mother Earth- be it in human form or plant or anything Mother earth can give birth to. This also makes you see why the bible refers to human as earth and being the salt of the earth. Salt in the human cells is very important in keeping the protoplasm in tact. Maybe that is what Jesus is implying by saying the eye cannot say to the rectum watch out buddy I can see everything; it knows fine well what can happens when rectum constipates and goes on strike!
From all this Earth School lessons that God had really promised that one day She will explain to me is reason enough to keep my perception of what is in constant flow and rhythm with the moment as it unfolds according to Nature’s Intention.
What is true to you today and applicable to me now could very well be detrimental to one’s health in another lifetime- lifetime here can last one breath or several breaths, it all depends on how long it takes to get the point and take position in sync with the cosmos
And so I continue to urge you to scrap personal dreams and trade them for a seat on earth’ ride as it spins and plummet and balances itself as it knows best how to.
It’s now back to the classroom. Today’s lectures are taking place smack between your eyes and I don’t want you to miss a thing!
December 24, 2008
Plush Prosperity
December 22, 2008
Invisible burdens- heavy cargo
Invisible burdens- heavy cargo
I have come to realize and accept that I am responsible for my now all the time, knowing that the moment is best directed by my RomeoGod. I am also responsible for how I almost allowed the past to determine and undermine everyday happiness. Most times I did things with my spirit a little half-heartedly simply because I wanted spirit to always let me know what’s up ahead before I decided to cooperate with its intelligence because I had become very doubting even of my heart
How could I not have discarded God from my life when all she used to do was punish, punish and punish. Who needs a god like that in their lives? Certainly, not me! I must say that I would have not made it to this intersection had I not dismiss the teachings and vision of a god that was made of bile which I know for sure does not exist
Testing God’s love for me was the most invisible and heaviest assignment handed from hell kingdom institutions. How could the God who loves me so much be so much against me and how long do I have to exist considering all the list of things that are in the forbidden corner of heaven? There is no way that this creator or creature loves me or human beings for crying out loud!
The sad thing is that I was punishing my spirit- burying my soul in anguish as I lamented the thought of not being good enough to receive even a glimpse of my Creator by believing someone else figment of imagination instead of mine
Was I wrong!
I know now that spirit had all good intentions for me all along; it just had the scariest ways of showing up. Thanks to insight of hindsight I am grateful for those circumstances because they helped me to recognize the presence of omnipotence within me. I firmly hold on to the saying that ‘from the darkness comes the light’ and “from the darkest nights come the brightest days”. It is for this reason that I have become smitten with the God who loves, the God who heals, the God who never forsake me.
I intend on honouring the harvest of the years spent in agony and the experience while living in the valley of desolation, even though I still feel a bit disappointed about all the energy I exhausted fighting with God until I understand that letting go of false ideas was the easiest way to unload the invisible burden of finding God. My search for truth is what led me along narrow paths, wide lanes, and detours to God and that was nothing compared to the heavy cargo of despair and the panic that arouse in outrageous attempts to evade life and invade the soul with disorder and set the mind and body on fire pretending to be claiming lives for God meanwhile depleting the immune system
I have come to realize and accept that I am responsible for my now all the time, knowing that the moment is best directed by my RomeoGod. I am also responsible for how I almost allowed the past to determine and undermine everyday happiness. Most times I did things with my spirit a little half-heartedly simply because I wanted spirit to always let me know what’s up ahead before I decided to cooperate with its intelligence because I had become very doubting even of my heart
How could I not have discarded God from my life when all she used to do was punish, punish and punish. Who needs a god like that in their lives? Certainly, not me! I must say that I would have not made it to this intersection had I not dismiss the teachings and vision of a god that was made of bile which I know for sure does not exist
Testing God’s love for me was the most invisible and heaviest assignment handed from hell kingdom institutions. How could the God who loves me so much be so much against me and how long do I have to exist considering all the list of things that are in the forbidden corner of heaven? There is no way that this creator or creature loves me or human beings for crying out loud!
The sad thing is that I was punishing my spirit- burying my soul in anguish as I lamented the thought of not being good enough to receive even a glimpse of my Creator by believing someone else figment of imagination instead of mine
Was I wrong!
I know now that spirit had all good intentions for me all along; it just had the scariest ways of showing up. Thanks to insight of hindsight I am grateful for those circumstances because they helped me to recognize the presence of omnipotence within me. I firmly hold on to the saying that ‘from the darkness comes the light’ and “from the darkest nights come the brightest days”. It is for this reason that I have become smitten with the God who loves, the God who heals, the God who never forsake me.
I intend on honouring the harvest of the years spent in agony and the experience while living in the valley of desolation, even though I still feel a bit disappointed about all the energy I exhausted fighting with God until I understand that letting go of false ideas was the easiest way to unload the invisible burden of finding God. My search for truth is what led me along narrow paths, wide lanes, and detours to God and that was nothing compared to the heavy cargo of despair and the panic that arouse in outrageous attempts to evade life and invade the soul with disorder and set the mind and body on fire pretending to be claiming lives for God meanwhile depleting the immune system
December 21, 2008
Enthusiasm
The yearning to be all that the heart knows all too well is paramount to living a life full of vigour though matter what is the true propeller of our being
The gripping dialogue between the heart and the mind is strong enough to create a holy tension to enable harmony to work in agreement of being a part of the cosmos. Sometimes my role seem obscure and severely surreal to make any sense in the grand performance, yet I am convince that this is exactly what the universe needs to thrive. I had, once upon a time, dedicated my life to edit God’s script when things seem to me that God had completely gone offline; off course. I paid a dear, dare price for that- still the cosmos used my toughness to soften and dissolve that stone hard determination to call it wrong, bad, silly and drunk, yardy, yardy. Maybe I had too many Paul of Damascus cells floating in my life force; that and maybe my Moses component were in a constant clash with Jonah and too much ignorant version of Jesus and God.
Thanks to my enthusiasm to know Truth and pay the price, I am well and dandy with whatever OmniGod says or does not say.
That, in hindsight, was what I have been after all my life and will continue to want to yearn for the rest of my lifespan; the peace and acceptance of knowing that God cannot not love me just as I am and, all my generated goals could and can never substitute for that incombustible, incorruptible desire of my heart.
Enthusiasm continues to capture my imagination of the All-Possible Holy High Jehovah Jubilee first hand, on earth, which is heaven in disguise.
I am thus happy to have been so worn out by life otherwise I would not have given up my puny plans in exchange for the real stardom of the Master Stars-Maker
The gripping dialogue between the heart and the mind is strong enough to create a holy tension to enable harmony to work in agreement of being a part of the cosmos. Sometimes my role seem obscure and severely surreal to make any sense in the grand performance, yet I am convince that this is exactly what the universe needs to thrive. I had, once upon a time, dedicated my life to edit God’s script when things seem to me that God had completely gone offline; off course. I paid a dear, dare price for that- still the cosmos used my toughness to soften and dissolve that stone hard determination to call it wrong, bad, silly and drunk, yardy, yardy. Maybe I had too many Paul of Damascus cells floating in my life force; that and maybe my Moses component were in a constant clash with Jonah and too much ignorant version of Jesus and God.
Thanks to my enthusiasm to know Truth and pay the price, I am well and dandy with whatever OmniGod says or does not say.
That, in hindsight, was what I have been after all my life and will continue to want to yearn for the rest of my lifespan; the peace and acceptance of knowing that God cannot not love me just as I am and, all my generated goals could and can never substitute for that incombustible, incorruptible desire of my heart.
Enthusiasm continues to capture my imagination of the All-Possible Holy High Jehovah Jubilee first hand, on earth, which is heaven in disguise.
I am thus happy to have been so worn out by life otherwise I would not have given up my puny plans in exchange for the real stardom of the Master Stars-Maker
December 20, 2008
Honeymoon continues
Successstories in a way that makes earth rumbling sacred revelry makes me want to just play and play and play on way deep down in mother earth’s womb where I am safe from the perils of time.
Earth and I are having our very own Romeo and Juliet Moment and nothing compares to how intimacy interweave mind and heart soul and body
That is the kind of intimacy God had been setting me up on rendezvous and dèjà vu that my mind is beginning to fathom as sensible while courting heaven on earth stewing in hell.
Oh happy day when mitote dissolved its maya and landed me in Shangri-La
That calls for a toast now...now...now!
Here, here!
Earth and I are having our very own Romeo and Juliet Moment and nothing compares to how intimacy interweave mind and heart soul and body
That is the kind of intimacy God had been setting me up on rendezvous and dèjà vu that my mind is beginning to fathom as sensible while courting heaven on earth stewing in hell.
Oh happy day when mitote dissolved its maya and landed me in Shangri-La
That calls for a toast now...now...now!
Here, here!
December 19, 2008
Here and Now... I continue to
no longer need to shield my emotions and moods
let kindness and goodness shine through my efforts
cease agonizing over mistakes and accepting its lessons
forgive myself for allowing myself to be treated unkindly
give up the days of roaming in the wasteland of confusion
enjoy a stroll along the oasis of tranquility and serendipity
remain attentive and obey whenever silence speaks to me
fast from feelings of lack and feast on availability of plenty
saturate my life with the magnificence that surrounds me
dissolve all negative feelings about my physical appearance
surrender the need to manipulate the outcome of situations
relinquish nervous excitement about things I cannot change
trust the goodness of life to bring about the right outcome
erase negative mental recordings and imprint positive ones
soak in the sweetness of life and assist in my body’s healing
take time to honour and celebrate all my accomplishments
stop clinging to ideas that no longer assist me on my path
make a pledge with myself to live each moment here now
let kindness and goodness shine through my efforts
cease agonizing over mistakes and accepting its lessons
forgive myself for allowing myself to be treated unkindly
give up the days of roaming in the wasteland of confusion
enjoy a stroll along the oasis of tranquility and serendipity
remain attentive and obey whenever silence speaks to me
fast from feelings of lack and feast on availability of plenty
saturate my life with the magnificence that surrounds me
dissolve all negative feelings about my physical appearance
surrender the need to manipulate the outcome of situations
relinquish nervous excitement about things I cannot change
trust the goodness of life to bring about the right outcome
erase negative mental recordings and imprint positive ones
soak in the sweetness of life and assist in my body’s healing
take time to honour and celebrate all my accomplishments
stop clinging to ideas that no longer assist me on my path
make a pledge with myself to live each moment here now
December 18, 2008
Unlayering layered emotions
Thought by thought
Idea by idea
Mood by mood,
Provoked conditioned persona
Imprisoned spirit
Masqueraded mind
Like a caged bird
Thought by thought
Idea by idea
Mood by mood
Evoked emotional evolution
Unimprisoned spirit
Unmasquerade mind
Caged bird is free
Idea by idea
Mood by mood,
Provoked conditioned persona
Imprisoned spirit
Masqueraded mind
Like a caged bird
Thought by thought
Idea by idea
Mood by mood
Evoked emotional evolution
Unimprisoned spirit
Unmasquerade mind
Caged bird is free
December 17, 2008
Life’s ledger of accountability account
The cosmic computer is constantly processing information at unbounded awareness swiftness. It timeless version of computing data is always precise and of fresh input and output as well as backup in its infinite memory bank of intuition to be accessed in an instant as experience.
Keeping earth on its axis, gravity on its planetary pedestal, every star, cloud and atomic particle and each knows exactly what it is designed to do to keep life’s ledger of accountability accounted for by maintaining their position and role to know when and how to function in and calculate the importance of balancing the storybook of life
Life knows that humanly speaking, it takes earth an enormous time to come around full circle and pay day seem like forever unendingly delayed so it gives its most evolved species of life- the ones who are most concerned with everything that nothing else makes a big deal with Life about- the choice to be patient and persevering and full access to itself and treasures to use wisely.
Many homo sapiens decided that Lucifer is nothing but a devil waiting to repeat its Adam and Eve stunt fail to see that Lucifer sting-cell is as present as Jesus death and resurrection story
Since timeless computer has no undo button or delete or giant erasers or ink out or white off no fancy paint to graffiti over graffiti, then the obvious thing is to wait, wait patiently for earth to spin around and with one sweep wipe away every default that is not of its nature of default and voila- a fresh start. Strangely though, there seem to be some help in the meantime just like the manmade computers have geeks and squads. Fresh beginning are new every morning so I suppose that instead of waiting for the earth to make a complete revolution the same opportunity can be benefited from by reviewing the budget of life and the essential expense of living and use it well, like the man in the story who went ahead and invested the twenty talents that his master gave to him. Instead of waiting to go to some opulent life to cash in or trade in or dissolve my chips why not deposit it in the vault of happiness and let it generate interest in my growth and development account.
After all when one door closes a window is still left open. In health and safety terms it is called the emergency exit.
The everyday activities of daily living like the bees and sparrows; moon and stars and clouds that hang over continuously defying gravity I stroll along in the vault of creation gathering riches that last until ad infinitum; keep my expense in balance with life’s budget- patiently and perseveringly because I still have a lot of living to live
Keeping earth on its axis, gravity on its planetary pedestal, every star, cloud and atomic particle and each knows exactly what it is designed to do to keep life’s ledger of accountability accounted for by maintaining their position and role to know when and how to function in and calculate the importance of balancing the storybook of life
Life knows that humanly speaking, it takes earth an enormous time to come around full circle and pay day seem like forever unendingly delayed so it gives its most evolved species of life- the ones who are most concerned with everything that nothing else makes a big deal with Life about- the choice to be patient and persevering and full access to itself and treasures to use wisely.
Many homo sapiens decided that Lucifer is nothing but a devil waiting to repeat its Adam and Eve stunt fail to see that Lucifer sting-cell is as present as Jesus death and resurrection story
Since timeless computer has no undo button or delete or giant erasers or ink out or white off no fancy paint to graffiti over graffiti, then the obvious thing is to wait, wait patiently for earth to spin around and with one sweep wipe away every default that is not of its nature of default and voila- a fresh start. Strangely though, there seem to be some help in the meantime just like the manmade computers have geeks and squads. Fresh beginning are new every morning so I suppose that instead of waiting for the earth to make a complete revolution the same opportunity can be benefited from by reviewing the budget of life and the essential expense of living and use it well, like the man in the story who went ahead and invested the twenty talents that his master gave to him. Instead of waiting to go to some opulent life to cash in or trade in or dissolve my chips why not deposit it in the vault of happiness and let it generate interest in my growth and development account.
After all when one door closes a window is still left open. In health and safety terms it is called the emergency exit.
The everyday activities of daily living like the bees and sparrows; moon and stars and clouds that hang over continuously defying gravity I stroll along in the vault of creation gathering riches that last until ad infinitum; keep my expense in balance with life’s budget- patiently and perseveringly because I still have a lot of living to live
December 16, 2008
Selah
When I stop and think of my motive for stalking Earth looking for clues about its destiny and how I am to be on my best alert to assist it, I ended up in the belly of creation. she immediately employed me full time as one of her assistants in the creativity centre of her world
Some of the things she let me do were so amazing! she was unsuprisingly impressed with how much I could remember on my own since I had left her womb
Stuff like:
Finding pathways for success
Seeking answers for questions
Probing life for meaning
Courting God for affection
Searching heaven for logic
Inspecting hell for evidence
Calling angels and saints for ideas
Observing matter for experience
Some of the things she let me do were so amazing! she was unsuprisingly impressed with how much I could remember on my own since I had left her womb
Stuff like:
Finding pathways for success
Seeking answers for questions
Probing life for meaning
Courting God for affection
Searching heaven for logic
Inspecting hell for evidence
Calling angels and saints for ideas
Observing matter for experience
Reading minds for knowledge
Pursuing hearts for truth
Gleaning spirit for resource
Pursuing hearts for truth
Gleaning spirit for resource
Applying Ancient Wisdom to modern day task
Following her every step of the way
Being with her night and day as she continues to coach me to will myself using her formula: whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."--Philippians 4:8
selah
December 15, 2008
A sequel to the day before
For matter of the heart, trust the heart
For matters of the intellect, listen to the mind
Never mix up the message of mind with the murmurs of the heart
any mumbo jumbo that makes sense on a personal prayer premise without the smanshee will help decipher which is which… Wisdom knows how a confused child thinks it thinks it should behave
And that a confused child knows that something feel funny when the heart seems not so smart,
yet still sincere
For matters of the intellect, listen to the mind
Never mix up the message of mind with the murmurs of the heart
any mumbo jumbo that makes sense on a personal prayer premise without the smanshee will help decipher which is which… Wisdom knows how a confused child thinks it thinks it should behave
And that a confused child knows that something feel funny when the heart seems not so smart,
yet still sincere
December 14, 2008
Oh perfect day, oh perfect day!
Waiting for the perfect day to master the art of filtering worry from every cell in the brain so I can carry on with rebuilding the temple is like waiting fro manna to fall from the sky without the wrestling with God while en route to the promise land; it is like a baby waiting to be told “ you can begin to walk now- that baby would still be waiting.
Just like the digestive system knows which enzyme needs to breakdown the steak and which mineral each fruit and vegetable should deliver and how to convert sugars to glucose and how the brain knows exactly when it is running on less than ten percent of its fuel so as to help the heart distribute the energy supply to each molecule so too God knows how to enable the mind to filter out prayers and when the heart is to weary and the spirit energy is low then God knows exactly what to do; that, inadvertently, is the time when we summon God to come in…
…in the meantime
pray
pray with out ceasing
worry will eventually get the hint when it starts to wither
there really is no such thing as calling God’s name in vain
well to me, that is not what God means “calling his name in vain’
that right there would make God a cruel clone
Gotcha!
Just like the digestive system knows which enzyme needs to breakdown the steak and which mineral each fruit and vegetable should deliver and how to convert sugars to glucose and how the brain knows exactly when it is running on less than ten percent of its fuel so as to help the heart distribute the energy supply to each molecule so too God knows how to enable the mind to filter out prayers and when the heart is to weary and the spirit energy is low then God knows exactly what to do; that, inadvertently, is the time when we summon God to come in…
…in the meantime
pray
pray with out ceasing
worry will eventually get the hint when it starts to wither
there really is no such thing as calling God’s name in vain
well to me, that is not what God means “calling his name in vain’
that right there would make God a cruel clone
Gotcha!
December 13, 2008
Problems: the cutting edge of success
Problems present the chisel that awakens the vast vault of awareness and provides dramatic sanity-saving solutions that regenerate, revolutionize and resuscitate humanity, maintain integrity, divine law and order to provide new ways that enrich the perception of situations through the lens of reality
Seeds of opportunity germinate and wise action spurt from open mind just like sprouts shoot up out of the soften earth in spring; just like the grain of sand transformed to the Mother of Pearls; just like the cocoon metamorphosed into a flambouyant butterfly; just like the corn which was forgotten in the oven overnight at Kellogg’s factory became the crispy flakes served for breakfast; just like…
Problems present a whole lot of opportunities for successful sustainable living once the label and stigma is removed from it.
Where are my fresh eyes? I know I have them somewhere; I have lots of problems to redress, readdress so I can extract the gem
There they are
Now let’s see what more I can still salvage from my eighteen-wheeler trailer load of oops!
Seeds of opportunity germinate and wise action spurt from open mind just like sprouts shoot up out of the soften earth in spring; just like the grain of sand transformed to the Mother of Pearls; just like the cocoon metamorphosed into a flambouyant butterfly; just like the corn which was forgotten in the oven overnight at Kellogg’s factory became the crispy flakes served for breakfast; just like…
Problems present a whole lot of opportunities for successful sustainable living once the label and stigma is removed from it.
Where are my fresh eyes? I know I have them somewhere; I have lots of problems to redress, readdress so I can extract the gem
There they are
Now let’s see what more I can still salvage from my eighteen-wheeler trailer load of oops!
December 12, 2008
When hopes and dreams get crush…Look out!
the lesson is already ripe for harvesting
just like the grapes getting pressed and wondering what good is that all about! hey Buddy listen up, it took me a lot of pruning and grooming to get me this juicy you know, so be gentle!
the juice begin to flow even faster and the next thing the grape knows there are wine festivals around the corner and wine and cheese making meeting and gathering are becoming big hit even when the gathering attracts some just for the wine and the cheese. I won’t touch where some wines may end up dreading to go
all I can say is that grumble when it looks like the dream evaporates right as it seem to have been come to land on your well done list; grieve if you must; you can even hold on because there is always another realm to a dream well tended and trellised. Just like the vineyard tend the grape and makes sure the trellis is strong and well ventilated so to living the heart open to conceive new dreams will yield the best fruits.
I did not always see it like that and even when my heart told me to trust it, like the grapes I figured what good is that!
I sometimes still scream like a child who is snatched from its festive waving at the moonlight and winking stars to go to bed, except the squealing lasts less longer as time flies. I have developed a new treatment for episode of letting go to make it even more fun and acceptable. I call it a breakthrough and another invitation to a new way of looking at things. When the hen shits instead of laying an egg in time for my supper I just still say thank you because I know the egg is coming maybe right after the hen relieves itself
Eggs and grapes- sounds kind of like a strange comparison, metaphor if you will.
Well, I am still plucking tender juicy and sensationally sweet grapes from my crushed clusters of dreams
I call it healing wine of acceptance; of unconflicted love; of uncompromising surrender to trust the still small voice when it says hold on and when it says let go
just like the grapes getting pressed and wondering what good is that all about! hey Buddy listen up, it took me a lot of pruning and grooming to get me this juicy you know, so be gentle!
the juice begin to flow even faster and the next thing the grape knows there are wine festivals around the corner and wine and cheese making meeting and gathering are becoming big hit even when the gathering attracts some just for the wine and the cheese. I won’t touch where some wines may end up dreading to go
all I can say is that grumble when it looks like the dream evaporates right as it seem to have been come to land on your well done list; grieve if you must; you can even hold on because there is always another realm to a dream well tended and trellised. Just like the vineyard tend the grape and makes sure the trellis is strong and well ventilated so to living the heart open to conceive new dreams will yield the best fruits.
I did not always see it like that and even when my heart told me to trust it, like the grapes I figured what good is that!
I sometimes still scream like a child who is snatched from its festive waving at the moonlight and winking stars to go to bed, except the squealing lasts less longer as time flies. I have developed a new treatment for episode of letting go to make it even more fun and acceptable. I call it a breakthrough and another invitation to a new way of looking at things. When the hen shits instead of laying an egg in time for my supper I just still say thank you because I know the egg is coming maybe right after the hen relieves itself
Eggs and grapes- sounds kind of like a strange comparison, metaphor if you will.
Well, I am still plucking tender juicy and sensationally sweet grapes from my crushed clusters of dreams
I call it healing wine of acceptance; of unconflicted love; of uncompromising surrender to trust the still small voice when it says hold on and when it says let go
December 11, 2008
The beauty of parables
They make one think
They make one see more than words can ever do to make magic complete
They have many origins and meanings
There is no absolute right or wrong
Its’ all up to the mind and the mind state
They are new every reading
They shift but never themselves get shifted
They are amusing and irritating
And they work
Jesus used them so they must have meant something even in his days of his age
They make one see more than words can ever do to make magic complete
They have many origins and meanings
There is no absolute right or wrong
Its’ all up to the mind and the mind state
They are new every reading
They shift but never themselves get shifted
They are amusing and irritating
And they work
Jesus used them so they must have meant something even in his days of his age
December 10, 2008
Jesus says, “The stone the builders rejected…
… wasn’t me
I had to check my prescription to confirm that they were the right pair of glasses and check in the classroom to see who else was in there to make sure that Jesus was talking to me and that I was in the right womb
Turns out I was in the womb looking for answers on what I could at least receive from my assignments that I handed in to the cosmos. Not that the cosmos has mid term, final exams, right and wrongs answers or expression and emphasis and perfect penmanship or vocabulary or sentence structure or even proper citing, attendance marks or anything such thing. Just the inspiration in knowing the status of learning and unlearning that’s the best part about Earth School!
The stone that the boulders rejected was themselves, not me Jesus. I was no stone; at least the last time I check I the God man was flesh and blood with a spirit that I chose to obey
So why did the scholar refer to it as a stone?
That’s another thing I love about Earth School, I can as many questions as I want even though I have to figure out some of those answers with my own imagining. It’s all good
In the world of thought symbolism has its way of lending to the inspiration of imagining. That is the magic of philosophy and I happen to be a pro in that class while like you, doing my PhD in Earth School.
The other thing is that people sometimes fail to see themselves through heaven’s eyes, some are even afraid to imagine them supping with God
They are like Nicodemus.
Does that help?
Jesus is checking with me to make sure I understand and even risking to help to compare it with what I was near to just accepting without further a due
Imagine the glow that illumine my invisible halo and wings; I knew I had good reason to resume active participation in Earth School
Refusing to listen to reason and consciousness causes a lot of hell to flourish in heaven on earth; reason and consciousness is what needs to be the cornerstone of any life worth enjoying abundantly
Well the responsible rebel respectfully accepted Jesus personal download in my mind’s womb. Ghee I guess I have two wombs- one to procreate babies and one to create my originality and they are both very fertile
Well Hallelujah
I had to check my prescription to confirm that they were the right pair of glasses and check in the classroom to see who else was in there to make sure that Jesus was talking to me and that I was in the right womb
Turns out I was in the womb looking for answers on what I could at least receive from my assignments that I handed in to the cosmos. Not that the cosmos has mid term, final exams, right and wrongs answers or expression and emphasis and perfect penmanship or vocabulary or sentence structure or even proper citing, attendance marks or anything such thing. Just the inspiration in knowing the status of learning and unlearning that’s the best part about Earth School!
The stone that the boulders rejected was themselves, not me Jesus. I was no stone; at least the last time I check I the God man was flesh and blood with a spirit that I chose to obey
So why did the scholar refer to it as a stone?
That’s another thing I love about Earth School, I can as many questions as I want even though I have to figure out some of those answers with my own imagining. It’s all good
In the world of thought symbolism has its way of lending to the inspiration of imagining. That is the magic of philosophy and I happen to be a pro in that class while like you, doing my PhD in Earth School.
The other thing is that people sometimes fail to see themselves through heaven’s eyes, some are even afraid to imagine them supping with God
They are like Nicodemus.
Does that help?
Jesus is checking with me to make sure I understand and even risking to help to compare it with what I was near to just accepting without further a due
Imagine the glow that illumine my invisible halo and wings; I knew I had good reason to resume active participation in Earth School
Refusing to listen to reason and consciousness causes a lot of hell to flourish in heaven on earth; reason and consciousness is what needs to be the cornerstone of any life worth enjoying abundantly
Well the responsible rebel respectfully accepted Jesus personal download in my mind’s womb. Ghee I guess I have two wombs- one to procreate babies and one to create my originality and they are both very fertile
Well Hallelujah
December 09, 2008
The ‘Jesus washing of his disciples feet
My personal meaning behind Jesus scrubbing grime from between the disciplines corny, clammy, callous claws was no modern day way treatment for athlete’s foot.
Setting an example Jesus was already sure would make some of his disciples stray from doing or even considering was his way Jesus would be betrayed as being such a houseboy. Jesus knew that his story would be treated like a mat to wash dirty feet made as a means to follow his footstep for false feasting of fame and famine.
That is why Jesus never wasted his life arguing, defending, explaining or justifying what the heart already knows how to do.
So it is not on Jesus blood that anyone should depend for salvation strength to roll the stone of hell that pretended to block the grave. It all has to do with imagining
Maybe that is why children love to enjoy animated story telling and not just reading for facts gathering which means nothing when it comes time to rolling out the stone behind the tomb of the mind as it applies to the fray of the busyness of living and hurry up dying.
Setting an example Jesus was already sure would make some of his disciples stray from doing or even considering was his way Jesus would be betrayed as being such a houseboy. Jesus knew that his story would be treated like a mat to wash dirty feet made as a means to follow his footstep for false feasting of fame and famine.
That is why Jesus never wasted his life arguing, defending, explaining or justifying what the heart already knows how to do.
So it is not on Jesus blood that anyone should depend for salvation strength to roll the stone of hell that pretended to block the grave. It all has to do with imagining
Maybe that is why children love to enjoy animated story telling and not just reading for facts gathering which means nothing when it comes time to rolling out the stone behind the tomb of the mind as it applies to the fray of the busyness of living and hurry up dying.
December 08, 2008
Journaling
Now that I no longer have reason to fear the voices I can see and enjoy the benefit of journaling.
I used to always not want to write anything on paper even though I was encouraged to believe it was for my eyes only.
Talk about distrust to the nth degree.
blind trust, the all too familiar relative caused a lot of havoc and the mind made a pact to help me never forget those blind test drama. Of course the mind was such a crook it brought on my real enemies- fear, anxiety, nervousness, worry- that was a biggie- and it pretended to be my friend so it would engage my brain in active remembering of … each time I decided to empty it so I could let creativity use my mind to do better things than worry, chase away my life and keep God in a closet
I recalled the visits to the naturopathic doctor. Many of my debriefing appointments ended with the prescription. Take care of yourself. Until one day she looked me in the eyes and asked. Do you journal? I almost stomp out of the office; instead I told her that I did not like journaling. I tried it many years ago and it did not work. It just forces me to go where I do not want so please do not ask me to go back there. She said” I am not asking you to go back there I am asking you to thank it and see the lessons it taught. I said, "Oh I am doing that". I am asking the one who caused it all. I write to The Creator, mostly questions though but i wirte. She said okay keep doing it. You are not telling the universe anything that spirit does not know. So go ahead and keep well. write anything that pops up whether it made sense. i smiled and said i am already doing that too. she smiled and she told me, welcome to journaling!
I used to always not want to write anything on paper even though I was encouraged to believe it was for my eyes only.
Talk about distrust to the nth degree.
blind trust, the all too familiar relative caused a lot of havoc and the mind made a pact to help me never forget those blind test drama. Of course the mind was such a crook it brought on my real enemies- fear, anxiety, nervousness, worry- that was a biggie- and it pretended to be my friend so it would engage my brain in active remembering of … each time I decided to empty it so I could let creativity use my mind to do better things than worry, chase away my life and keep God in a closet
I recalled the visits to the naturopathic doctor. Many of my debriefing appointments ended with the prescription. Take care of yourself. Until one day she looked me in the eyes and asked. Do you journal? I almost stomp out of the office; instead I told her that I did not like journaling. I tried it many years ago and it did not work. It just forces me to go where I do not want so please do not ask me to go back there. She said” I am not asking you to go back there I am asking you to thank it and see the lessons it taught. I said, "Oh I am doing that". I am asking the one who caused it all. I write to The Creator, mostly questions though but i wirte. She said okay keep doing it. You are not telling the universe anything that spirit does not know. So go ahead and keep well. write anything that pops up whether it made sense. i smiled and said i am already doing that too. she smiled and she told me, welcome to journaling!
then when I had enough courage to let the monster out, trusting began to tremble at the mere thought of me considering it and its relatives kept reminding me of how good I had it. it did not matter becasue I was spewing out my emotional knapsack before it crushed me and that is all that mattered.
Indeed the locust of time can never eat away at what God puts in one’s heart as a life desire
And
emptiness precede filling up
emptiness can also preempt more emptiness
it is a choice to discern the heart’s desire
just like worry will wither it is inevitable that the sting of past pain, disappointments and failures will no longer hurt when the thorn of the flesh, lances
that’s my heart’s desire
and the same story that panic used to frighten me is the same story that fuels my tank of joy and holy high hallelujahs choruses
Indeed the locust of time can never eat away at what God puts in one’s heart as a life desire
And
emptiness precede filling up
emptiness can also preempt more emptiness
it is a choice to discern the heart’s desire
just like worry will wither it is inevitable that the sting of past pain, disappointments and failures will no longer hurt when the thorn of the flesh, lances
that’s my heart’s desire
and the same story that panic used to frighten me is the same story that fuels my tank of joy and holy high hallelujahs choruses
December 07, 2008
Amazing!
It is awesome the way God uses something I do not like to make me do something I enjoy.
I am not fond of typing
Not fond of it at all
I would not sign my life away to type for living
Yet the mere yearning to want to capture my aha moments makes typing my fingers friend
Next time I do not like something I will know it is just what I need to help me do what I would like to.
Thanks to whomever upgraded typewriters because the typewriter way of producing was one of the reasons I used to wonder who want me to give up my passion for writing. It turns out that the person was encouraging me while waiting for its successor.
Penmanship was a great helper too and writing essays that allowed me think creatively, they were helpers too
Even a small lesson in hindsight school is revealing wonders!
I am not fond of typing
Not fond of it at all
I would not sign my life away to type for living
Yet the mere yearning to want to capture my aha moments makes typing my fingers friend
Next time I do not like something I will know it is just what I need to help me do what I would like to.
Thanks to whomever upgraded typewriters because the typewriter way of producing was one of the reasons I used to wonder who want me to give up my passion for writing. It turns out that the person was encouraging me while waiting for its successor.
Penmanship was a great helper too and writing essays that allowed me think creatively, they were helpers too
Even a small lesson in hindsight school is revealing wonders!
December 06, 2008
Waking up the musician in me
Reveling in tune with earth’s rumbling is something I am convinced that I was jiving to when class was one too many repeats even while connected to the placenta and imagining how the sperm could teach me swimming lessons without goggles, life belts and fangs.Needless to say, I am a naturalist!
My dad was one original carnival custom costume maker. I suppose for dad prelenten freedom was always a safe time because it was socially stamp as appropriately acceptable to be oneself and then later religiously reprimanded for it.
Like me, my flesh and blodd father had some weird ideas that came full circle during carnival except I did not need a costume. I arrived alive in one already custom made! and I never needed to wait for prelenten barcanalcarnival because for me, every day Earth rumbas according to the universe is what I call ‘my kind of carnival’. Decades later it still is and I can already with insight and instinct proclaim 'it is so' as long as I am a physical being and life is life.
That is the biggest difference between me and my dad who has long gone to ad infinitum and I am sure is dancing in ways that still make earth rumble and rumba waylaylay except he does not wait for carnival nor need extra costumes...way to go dad!
That is why I believe that spirit never dies and always know what best for its offspring
Carnival or no carnival I shake my very own made rainmakershaker and I make that thing squeal and gurgle and two-leg jumping never pumped more energy in me as stomping on one leg while resting easy on the arm of my chair
There is much more ready and esoterically waiting for their turn to come out from behind my curtains of ‘so what if I am weird’
My dad was one original carnival custom costume maker. I suppose for dad prelenten freedom was always a safe time because it was socially stamp as appropriately acceptable to be oneself and then later religiously reprimanded for it.
Like me, my flesh and blodd father had some weird ideas that came full circle during carnival except I did not need a costume. I arrived alive in one already custom made! and I never needed to wait for prelenten barcanalcarnival because for me, every day Earth rumbas according to the universe is what I call ‘my kind of carnival’. Decades later it still is and I can already with insight and instinct proclaim 'it is so' as long as I am a physical being and life is life.
That is the biggest difference between me and my dad who has long gone to ad infinitum and I am sure is dancing in ways that still make earth rumble and rumba waylaylay except he does not wait for carnival nor need extra costumes...way to go dad!
That is why I believe that spirit never dies and always know what best for its offspring
Carnival or no carnival I shake my very own made rainmakershaker and I make that thing squeal and gurgle and two-leg jumping never pumped more energy in me as stomping on one leg while resting easy on the arm of my chair
There is much more ready and esoterically waiting for their turn to come out from behind my curtains of ‘so what if I am weird’
December 05, 2008
My like mother, like daughter traits
My mother always appeared to me as the shy one who is not afraid of letting out the squeal in her
My hearty laugh will continue to echo the world just like my mama’s. That, I am holding on to for dear life!
The servitude style; that’s another ball of wax
For a long while I patterned that trait to a t and got very good at doing except I started falling apart and I had to one day ask her. “How the hell do you that; how can you keep up this hiding in the shadows from heaven and still be at peace even though you were falling apart?” Her silent and intent look was sufficed. Putting herself on the back burner all the time; I still do not know how she did it!
I tell you God alone knows the pain some people carry inside and why!
Whatever her source of faith, I respect it very much if it is helping her make it through the day. It took me a very long time to accept all things as necessary for my own good
Since I did not want to let her die wondering like I thought I would have to die wondering, I have made my peace that since spirit cannot die there is no fear of the need to regret making choices and taking chances knowing that God knows. Probably that’s why it is fine that some things are still in the shadows. The mutual respect is our silent approval to be true to one another because after all there is really no reason to measure her parenting ability and sacrifice against the world’s roster because God already knows!
Sickness severed the servitude style in both of us. That’s another thing we have in common though manifested in some ways differently; some are , oh well some are maybe the residual trait that we continue to drag around lifetime after life time, hyper blood sugar and high blood pressure. That too we have in common
She carries in addition her very own sickness I have my very own and that already is too much to carry on and to pass on to posterity. All in all it took genesis and revelation to round up the book in the bible and so all that had brought her and me in God's creation is the same creator and that I have accept without arguments!
My hearty laugh will continue to echo the world just like my mama’s. That, I am holding on to for dear life!
The servitude style; that’s another ball of wax
For a long while I patterned that trait to a t and got very good at doing except I started falling apart and I had to one day ask her. “How the hell do you that; how can you keep up this hiding in the shadows from heaven and still be at peace even though you were falling apart?” Her silent and intent look was sufficed. Putting herself on the back burner all the time; I still do not know how she did it!
I tell you God alone knows the pain some people carry inside and why!
Whatever her source of faith, I respect it very much if it is helping her make it through the day. It took me a very long time to accept all things as necessary for my own good
Since I did not want to let her die wondering like I thought I would have to die wondering, I have made my peace that since spirit cannot die there is no fear of the need to regret making choices and taking chances knowing that God knows. Probably that’s why it is fine that some things are still in the shadows. The mutual respect is our silent approval to be true to one another because after all there is really no reason to measure her parenting ability and sacrifice against the world’s roster because God already knows!
Sickness severed the servitude style in both of us. That’s another thing we have in common though manifested in some ways differently; some are , oh well some are maybe the residual trait that we continue to drag around lifetime after life time, hyper blood sugar and high blood pressure. That too we have in common
She carries in addition her very own sickness I have my very own and that already is too much to carry on and to pass on to posterity. All in all it took genesis and revelation to round up the book in the bible and so all that had brought her and me in God's creation is the same creator and that I have accept without arguments!
December 04, 2008
Another confession from my bag o secret of not so secrets
I always longed to have my own tribe and always I kept putting it off because I was afraid I would be afraid of speaking the truth in love to them and was petrified of feeding them the same diet and menu that I had to ingest
Of course I disguised this truth with many superficial reasons like:
Not wanting to not have enough for my kids
Not wanting my kids to not have everything it needs and even wants
Not adding to the burden of Mother Earth
Not being good enough
Not being ready
Not fiscally fit
Not wanting to do it alone
Not sure if the child would like having a sperm bank donor for a daddy
What would I do what would I day what I should not say or do
The number one fear was having my children taken away from me
Or having them to also be given up for adoption and not knowing why
or helplessly watching them get in to trouble that I help create with the choices that I made or help make that is trickling the time capsule
That was tough place to be and tough place to not be for both parent and child(ren) and life
That was a lot of hell
My famous line often was a big hit joke among my friends was that should I have a daughter and after disciplining her, she was taken away from me, she had better not be a teenager on her period because even the pad she woul dbe wearing would have to stay with me when she was escorted to a better chamber in hell; because naked she would have had to enter the womb of hell kingdom
I know my sense of humour is sometimes too raw for the social mind but who cares; I know it was a lung and heart mender because we often laughed till tears fell from heaven eyes
Sacrifice comes in many forms
Some sacrifice truth
Some scarified the longing to know better
Some sacrifice their meal ticket in heaven to satisfy hell hunger
Some imitate Jesus without the full manual and with overloaded courses and case loads
Some traded earth school
Some trade their intelligence and doubled up on hard labour to make up
Some did many, many things and will do many more things as long as they are earthling in heaven making there way out of hell
Some sacrifice the baby for the bath water
some sacrifice the bath water for the baby
And the good thing that always comes out of each is lessons for self, for fellow human that have come, gone, long gone and return and those that are now here even in nowhere
That explains why the only thing that got me out of hell of childless and tribeless is I will have many children in another lifetime and this is my consolation
I knew God would make a way out for me out of that dark, dark hole
I may not be happy to be be patient not yet having my own flock and may have to wait another thousand years to be fit to turn sperm and egg into flesh and blood and spirit but I am at peace now and that peace is too much to sacrifice even if I were a Lamb or were hungry for a bowl of soup
Of course I disguised this truth with many superficial reasons like:
Not wanting to not have enough for my kids
Not wanting my kids to not have everything it needs and even wants
Not adding to the burden of Mother Earth
Not being good enough
Not being ready
Not fiscally fit
Not wanting to do it alone
Not sure if the child would like having a sperm bank donor for a daddy
What would I do what would I day what I should not say or do
The number one fear was having my children taken away from me
Or having them to also be given up for adoption and not knowing why
or helplessly watching them get in to trouble that I help create with the choices that I made or help make that is trickling the time capsule
That was tough place to be and tough place to not be for both parent and child(ren) and life
That was a lot of hell
My famous line often was a big hit joke among my friends was that should I have a daughter and after disciplining her, she was taken away from me, she had better not be a teenager on her period because even the pad she woul dbe wearing would have to stay with me when she was escorted to a better chamber in hell; because naked she would have had to enter the womb of hell kingdom
I know my sense of humour is sometimes too raw for the social mind but who cares; I know it was a lung and heart mender because we often laughed till tears fell from heaven eyes
Sacrifice comes in many forms
Some sacrifice truth
Some scarified the longing to know better
Some sacrifice their meal ticket in heaven to satisfy hell hunger
Some imitate Jesus without the full manual and with overloaded courses and case loads
Some traded earth school
Some trade their intelligence and doubled up on hard labour to make up
Some did many, many things and will do many more things as long as they are earthling in heaven making there way out of hell
Some sacrifice the baby for the bath water
some sacrifice the bath water for the baby
And the good thing that always comes out of each is lessons for self, for fellow human that have come, gone, long gone and return and those that are now here even in nowhere
That explains why the only thing that got me out of hell of childless and tribeless is I will have many children in another lifetime and this is my consolation
I knew God would make a way out for me out of that dark, dark hole
I may not be happy to be be patient not yet having my own flock and may have to wait another thousand years to be fit to turn sperm and egg into flesh and blood and spirit but I am at peace now and that peace is too much to sacrifice even if I were a Lamb or were hungry for a bowl of soup
December 03, 2008
Many prodigal son moments
The son who remained loyal to daddy was getting angrier in green pastures maybe wishing that he had his brother’s gall to break tradition… to disown external reward and merit the intrinsic gratification, even though at first pilgrim boy did so unreasonably, according to tradition
Daddy though amid a breaking heart of having expose his obedience to consciousness knew that the most silly ideas somehow already contain the seed of unilliness so daddy trusted that he knew he could not save his son from his own life lessons
Still there must have been false guilt and shame for doing the right thing and he endured like he was having his very own ‘Father Abraham’ moment
Sometime obeying God seem like most absurd command that tempts one to curse the heart and in so doing curse its very lifeline.
God had to have known that would be the consequence but God was more interested in preparation lesson that can save lives from the very peril that lured sonny into impatience ingot
Prodigal had to endure life lessons that he never fathomed would have been his ticket back to heaven or in layman terms- freedom
I mean when life present its bottom of the bottom at the bottom lesson this is no accident to kick to the curb of the mind and continue to curse God.
I mean, it is evolve or die, surrender and live- life or death- build or destroy. And then of course there is reasoning and there is pride, which I translate as integrity, you know, the good kind of pride that taps you on the back. That even though my body is falling apart I am still a child of God and my Father can at least hire me back as his servant even if it is as wristwatch if I am not fit to touch another of his hard earned profit.
Wow
That is a classic case of humility, if you ask me.
I do not know how old that son was- for my sake he better have been younger than me and if he were older, boy he sure was one brave soul to not be afraid of doing the right thing
And daddy
I have just two words for daddy… thank you
And to loyal son
Brother’s gall made you spew out a lot of bitterness that was no longer necessary to help own your real inheritance; it must have been hard to work and keep up with all this thoughts twirling in your brain cells. I can imagie your liberation even though you may stil have had to toil in the hot son and wait for what may have been forever waiting for daddy to breath his last
Acting out was just what you needed; in fact acting out was necessary for all of the right reason of the kingdom aka your sanity!
Though mostly hindsight with fresh eyes
Maybe after loyal son freed his hard drive and brother recounted his pig-feeding job and father confessed that he never slept without wondering what son was up to and God and holy happy ghost and Jesus saying ‘here ye here ye’
Bravo! The only real outcast was the burden of condemnation that was transformed as the ticket to redemption for whomsoever will
Daddy though amid a breaking heart of having expose his obedience to consciousness knew that the most silly ideas somehow already contain the seed of unilliness so daddy trusted that he knew he could not save his son from his own life lessons
Still there must have been false guilt and shame for doing the right thing and he endured like he was having his very own ‘Father Abraham’ moment
Sometime obeying God seem like most absurd command that tempts one to curse the heart and in so doing curse its very lifeline.
God had to have known that would be the consequence but God was more interested in preparation lesson that can save lives from the very peril that lured sonny into impatience ingot
Prodigal had to endure life lessons that he never fathomed would have been his ticket back to heaven or in layman terms- freedom
I mean when life present its bottom of the bottom at the bottom lesson this is no accident to kick to the curb of the mind and continue to curse God.
I mean, it is evolve or die, surrender and live- life or death- build or destroy. And then of course there is reasoning and there is pride, which I translate as integrity, you know, the good kind of pride that taps you on the back. That even though my body is falling apart I am still a child of God and my Father can at least hire me back as his servant even if it is as wristwatch if I am not fit to touch another of his hard earned profit.
Wow
That is a classic case of humility, if you ask me.
I do not know how old that son was- for my sake he better have been younger than me and if he were older, boy he sure was one brave soul to not be afraid of doing the right thing
And daddy
I have just two words for daddy… thank you
And to loyal son
Brother’s gall made you spew out a lot of bitterness that was no longer necessary to help own your real inheritance; it must have been hard to work and keep up with all this thoughts twirling in your brain cells. I can imagie your liberation even though you may stil have had to toil in the hot son and wait for what may have been forever waiting for daddy to breath his last
Acting out was just what you needed; in fact acting out was necessary for all of the right reason of the kingdom aka your sanity!
Though mostly hindsight with fresh eyes
Maybe after loyal son freed his hard drive and brother recounted his pig-feeding job and father confessed that he never slept without wondering what son was up to and God and holy happy ghost and Jesus saying ‘here ye here ye’
Bravo! The only real outcast was the burden of condemnation that was transformed as the ticket to redemption for whomsoever will
December 02, 2008
When what I wasn’t looking for came in full view
At the pace I am going, I have a lot of confession in my mind to transpose into words and maybe my finger will get more accustom to typing the right letters at the right time, unafraid of its error prone style that often was the way I bumped into new words.
I always knew that I wanted to share my original birth story that scripted how life unfolds in the womb even while I am floating along in form.
I just was already so weird; I did not think I could getter any weirder
And just like that
I am weirder than I have always been and this is the real me. Nothing I can do about it that I want to so as to give that up! No way in hell; and heaven, well heaven is already having an ad infinitum party and I have not even started kicking dust
Like God I take a good look at what I have accomplished and say
Very good!
Listening to heart with unbounded trust
Very, Very Good!
So you see, God loves a tough warrior and will reveal itself in full view of private audience and public performance accordingly!
Some how I already knew that
And kept fighting God and shadow until I recognized the real opponent- a mind of hell taking up residence in my many mansions in heaven. It is like coin with two faces- Caesar’s and God’s; like the mind’s ability- good and evil- evolution or death
I always knew that I wanted to share my original birth story that scripted how life unfolds in the womb even while I am floating along in form.
I just was already so weird; I did not think I could getter any weirder
And just like that
I am weirder than I have always been and this is the real me. Nothing I can do about it that I want to so as to give that up! No way in hell; and heaven, well heaven is already having an ad infinitum party and I have not even started kicking dust
Like God I take a good look at what I have accomplished and say
Very good!
Listening to heart with unbounded trust
Very, Very Good!
So you see, God loves a tough warrior and will reveal itself in full view of private audience and public performance accordingly!
Some how I already knew that
And kept fighting God and shadow until I recognized the real opponent- a mind of hell taking up residence in my many mansions in heaven. It is like coin with two faces- Caesar’s and God’s; like the mind’s ability- good and evil- evolution or death
December 01, 2008
Stork News!
I recently gave birth to quadruplets.
Their names are:
http://liveplusdirect.blogspot.com/
http://soulfulviews.blogspot.com/
http://affluentaffirmations.blogspot.com/
http://lifelessonsandmessages.blogspot.com/
Unlike human and horses, gestation period spanned an unruffled and labourious decade
Once past the pangs of contraction, the content within these blogs gush out of the womb of creativity and onto the WWW.
Mother Timeless and Father Patience are contended with the offspring. That means that I have to nurture these babies fervently and responsibly
God continues to breath its spirit into my mind and through my fingers and godability. http://angealeyes.blogspot.com/ is happy with her siblings. All is safe and well!
Their names are:
http://liveplusdirect.blogspot.com/
http://soulfulviews.blogspot.com/
http://affluentaffirmations.blogspot.com/
http://lifelessonsandmessages.blogspot.com/
Unlike human and horses, gestation period spanned an unruffled and labourious decade
Once past the pangs of contraction, the content within these blogs gush out of the womb of creativity and onto the WWW.
Mother Timeless and Father Patience are contended with the offspring. That means that I have to nurture these babies fervently and responsibly
God continues to breath its spirit into my mind and through my fingers and godability. http://angealeyes.blogspot.com/ is happy with her siblings. All is safe and well!
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About Me
- Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis
- Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis legally arrived in Canada as a skilled immigrant- a Ministry of Labour and Citizenship Canada collaborative perk. Seeds of my interest to attain increase academic accolades while I search for meaning of whole E living in a partial E Turn ET Realm birth opportunity. As time progress and high honours grades flourished this aim diminished importance to my spirit. Soul lifelong reason to have risen ignited my innersense. This posed many risks to sanity and sanctity. My Self determined inner oyster decided that I need to transform every obstacle that interfere with sustainable value of its heart currency that can never develop in a commemorative mint. Trusting my innocent intelligence wisdom endow me with continue to fruitfully multiply. Ah! Invisible Intelligence dissolved missed crystal-clear certainty and induced mastered unpredicted uncertainty. I enjoy each instant that source and its resource offer to an astutely attune align actualize androgen genuine genius genes is fueling willingness to celebrate childlikeness confidence to coeurperate with Life, its situations and opulent options in a human flesh blood sentience earth vessel