My very own measure of faith- cold pressed

The many wrestling matches between faith and despondency yield a measure of faith in me that still has me pinching myself!

Dear God can I now take back all the faithless infringement that kept me knocking on heaven’s door to see if you were sincerely planning to use me in your vineyard: my apologies. Even after I found you looking for me I was spell bound and continued to sought after every explanation for your devoted interest in me. You were so sure that you would win me over that you waited for me- you waiting longingly for me.

Thank you for always putting me in circumstances that fortifies my soul and preparing me to be a model of faith... Living faith... not stagnate latent reliance. This is something I can never accomplish taking the easy way out nor something that is a one time deal. So long as I have breath you and I will partners, till the grave wins, and trust me we have many trillions of breaths before that grand finale!

Amazing Living: my soul sings, dances and laughs.

For centuries and even more so for millenniums, these three abilities have acted as a catalyst that invoke the inner pharmacy to whip up just the right ingredients in the precise amount needed for curing body, mind and spirit. How they do that, I had not the slightest clue; all I know is it works!

Nowadays, I know better. I know exactly where it comes from, not that I have fully understood its source. Still what I know about these abilities is enough to keep my heart healthy, my circulatory system in optimal shape; my respiratory system pumping oxygen rich blood; my digestive system pounding, grinding, pureeing, mixing and filtering nutrients to all the parts just as God intends it; and for all the parts that keeps the body functional. When I want to remind myself of harmony, I take a look at how the body works and I thank its maker for its intelligence.

Relaxed or is it ...calmness!

I am so accustom to nervous excitement that I felt somewhat strange when instead, I experienced the stillness so well composed. I guess that is really what I was aiming for… kind of the butterflies resting on my face reward. I am almost lost for words to fully express what real serenity feels like. Though matter how I try to capture a description, I found myself as though back to the time when I could not yet speak for I knew not the words and I did not need to.

At a moment like this, speechless is good! Preverbal state of being is veeeeeerrry goood!

Aaahhh! Let it be...let it be... let it be!

Floating on the sea of joy

A day for all fine things shall come
The brightest day emerges from the darkness nigh
Peace follows after a storm, even the most turbulent tempest!
Keep climbing the staircase even when it takes a lot of guessing where it is

That’s for sure!

The past little while felt like a never-ending episode of struggle, strife and stress. I can agree, now that I am floating on the sea of joy, that it was more the trying that was agonizing and not so much the time span.

Thankfully the memory of the moments I spent in the summer watching the swan and geese in the ponds reminded me of how to appear calm even while my mind, like their legs, were stirring the waters at break neck speed. It took a lot of effort to practice with the elegance of the swan and geese still I kept saying that I will make it to the point of really enjoying peace that passes all human understanding, somehow. Even though sometimes I have to fake this state of euphoria but I will get to the point where I can make facing the day’s turmoil seem like waking up to enjoy the butterflies resting on my face- nice and easy!

I thought ghee, I am really dreaming! Dream as it may, I was not kidding myself.

Here I am reaping the rewards of staying the course…the day for all fine things has certainly come.

... It Works!

Well I am no expert on mathematics, design, formulae or nearly close to the guru who has the patience to test them out and proved them right; all I can say is that my hypothesis worked; and yielded results, less than twenty fours after I put it to work. Not bad for someone whose forte is nothing close to physics or its first cousins or far distant relatives.

Coming up with this theorem about trust, obedience patience and faith has helped me to understand how these virtues collaborate. What a handy helper and lifeline.

Another step to help curb needless hurry and worry

I needed that!

Who's Nudging? ...Evidence of Providence

Waiting for a sure sign from Supreme Deity requires such trust that I sometimes mix up trust with patience.
Moving in the direction I sense is the right way without questioning or doubting requires faith- or is it trust?

Come to think of it, I think I have more trouble differentiating trust from obedience.
What do I do?
What can I do?

Wait…wait…

I got a nudge.

I feel that when I do not like the path that summons me to wait patiently for God- either to push me forward or to change the path before me.
Get his get this! When the path before me looks just right I still wonder if I should go ahead or check with God one more time just to be sure that what’s before me is real…go figure!

What a calamity

What do I do?
What can I do?

For my own sake, I have decided then, to resolve this dilemma as follows:

Trust, patience, faith and obedience are inseparable. Like simultaneous equations, they work together to solve a problem to reveal an answer.

Well I feel that this logic holds some weight so I am willing to apply it to confirm its validity when my mind is nudging and when my heart is nudging at the same time. I trust that it will help bring out the right outcome: knowing who’s nudging and then taking the ball and run with it to the finish line!

Well what do you know!

It is far more gainful to surrender to God instead of giving in to the dizzying d's: disappointment, discouragement and despair. I used to love the idea of controlling the details of my life. I was always checking in with God to know what’s next and when it seems like God was no where near, I would take that as a ‘ you can do whatever you like’ nudge.

What was I thinking! Just as patience can enable constant flow of water to erode the hardest, biggest rock, so can God destroy all dependencies that erode my heart’s desires.

Writing to explore and find meaning in my relationships, purpose and how my experience can be a catalyst is a medium that has enabled me to address life’s offering and allow circumstances assist me to realize and respect the importance of vulnerability.

Writing also encourage me to apply my natural talents that God has ingrained in me and so hardwired into my personality that without it I am nothing…someone God did not create me to be and this is no good in God’s take on life… my life! So I stop disappointing myself or cutting my Godability short of what God designed me to be.
Is that good enough Omni God? Continue to help me serve you, even though I tremble.

Bravo

God has the Day off... you gotta be kidding!

I know that when God takes a breather and make it appear that I am alone, help is still very much available, as I need it.

What this also means is it that it is time for hands on practice… you got that right...no more theorizing. And since God does not desire to make me a pappyshow, Wisdom makes sure I was well prepared for what is and it is time to heed the ebb and tide; and, time for another leap of live, active faith.

It’s like a surprise test that I know was coming and though I feel like God sometimes acts like an invigilator; this is far from it seems; and for this I am grateful.

It is interesting and awe inspiring how I feel like a steady ship on stormy seas, even when God takes a day off to watch me.

God, thank you for trusting me to take care of business on your day off. I know that even though you took French leave, your instructions are still on duty as though like an open book exam. Thank you that you have enough faith in me to make it through today. Even when you seem far away, you here to stay!

Cheers!

Delving Deeply

Mind continues to appreciate its emergence. Lightening up is becoming a skill that it is confident that it can master.

That aspect of I AM is beginning to realize that accepting change- like it or not, ready or not- is life’s way of helping it develop its very own style of faculties and faculty of styles.

Bulldozing its way through the fog of fear it resolves to reclaim its wisdom in deciphering the significance of each lesson and teaching that situations presents and, use the Ahha, ouch, yauwch, oh evay, haphakh to assist itself in taking responsibility for its experiences.

What honourable honing of dignity!

From room to room… so many rooms

When Jesus declared that God’s house had many mansions and many room is the mansion or something like that he wasn’t kidding. What I did not anticipate is how I ended up occupying so many of them and, get this, God says ‘ the best is yet to come… Whaw! I have transition from refiner’s to room for improvement. From there I can feast on previews of the abundance chamber; even the partition is a vision to behold.

The room I enjoyed the most so far is the peace is flowing like a river sanctuary. I kept going between the doors that escorts one from that room to the perplexed parlour where I was assailed by life’s crusty chaos. don't get me started about the serving in turmoil’s tomb. That vault is so big it almost took me forever to find my way back to the door that exits to fortitude foundation. Once I made my way in I was face to face with 'all you can enjoy' environ . What a feast ! I soaked in moment of celebration and was happy that I had the stamina to linger on and on. As with all good things it was time to carry on with the tour. The room in God’s mansion where I long to savour salvation was next...once there I was speechless and the look on my face was enough to make Heaven tremble; and that’s just a few rooms I have occupied and now I am heading back to the banquet buffet and enjoy communion with God.

Still, the best is yet to come and… ... I am ready!

Lighten-Up

I tell you, when mind receives it well need recess it displays such contentment with its growing that even its groans are happy groans.

Life is using this realization to remind me that groaning has its purpose and serves me well to attend to mind’s manner of expressing its discomfort just like a baby expresses its needs.

It is as though soul too is comforting mind in encouraging me to acknowledge that my inner child needs me and the sooner I attend to it the more rest soul can itself experience as it too replenishes its resilience.

Extraordinary Ordinary

The ordinary is where the extras; yes the extraordinary things in life hide themselves and play peek- a- boo!

Sometimes I get so carried away in my hunting moments, walking in the maze of the ordinary with ordinary objectives while my true intent is set on finding the extraordinary. No wonder the goal of recognizing al the extras always lead me back to find life’s treasures in the tasks devoid of status, small task loaded with priceless significance. No more moaning over and knocking down, tossed aside and oops, throwing away and even -I dare admit I have- burying the mundane occasion that are the clues to seeking and finding what I am on this earth to do, and many if not all of them are things that only I can master because when God created us we each were assigned roles in life that no one else can do like we do.

Failure to achieve that means someone or something is missing out on their fair share of the extras in life and that is missing the mark- a sin- if you will!

O evay!

Thanks to God’s way of turning things around and resurrecting missed opportunities, leveling mountains, wasteland transform to oasis, stumbling blocks become stepping stones; the wrong fork of the road becomes the right of way, the mundane yield the extraordinary gifts that matter

What more can I say!

Thanks for the haphakhs and for the little things and the simple things; for even the most obscure detail, thing, feelings; for all the situations and tasks devoid of rank; the things that do not glitter yet are pure coal that one day produces the best diamond cuts…thank you!

So in whatever time I have left on this planet- no mater where I am o, in whatever form that I am as I continue to take the shape into what I was designed to be, I will extract the marrow of every moment; acclaim the mundane and the magnificent and, cash in my prize at the gate of ad finitum ‘when the time is right’, and leave the rest to God!

New Strangeness

Life moves, and sometimes the physical being need to move too.

The mind is experiencing the benefits of relocation as it rest after the recent moving. Enjoying the comfort of the newness that makes the unfamiliar redeem dèjà vu from rendez vous when mind was dreaming of a better world in the same world without dying

For a while it was nudging me to pray to God for a place where there is no chaos- somewhere where it can recover from all the invisible roller coaster rides and the daunting duress of making it through right here, right now without the meddling fantasy of a farfetched opulent afterlife.

I agreed with mind. And God agreed too. Even before mind finished spewing its thoughts, God informed it directly with as much reassurance as the mind needed: “heaven is right here, right now” and you can create a better world in the same world. Chaos is one of the ingredients that help you achieve your dream.

With that in mind’s expanded toolkit soulmindbodyspirit enjoys the new move. Mind is happy to relax before pondering….

What’s next

Perseverance... Patience: Thank you!

So many times I attempted this simulated total surrendering exercise, to no avail; or so I thought. If I could not even make it to believe mode, how could I muster enough courage to let my guard down and allow my senseless notions and effortful efforts to prepare me for the real deal. I mean, how could when tryouts after tryouts were so bleak as I grew wearier and wearier and fully determined and even more determined to hold on and try out, thinking maybe this is it, this is the one more try. I got to the point where willingness to depend not on my own mental foundation to get me pass trying zone where I felt all alone paid off. Phew! It was long hard haul. Thank God because I was beginning to become emotionally callous.

Why does it feel like God waits until one is dangling off heaven’s rooftop to put the ladder in sight? I know not why, for sure; I guess though that maybe that is how perseverance and patience show their might; and, hold me so I can hang on for the next big blessing or just for the next blessing and at this point even the smallest blessings is a mighty big blessing.

Perseverance must have been on the lookout with its buddy, patience. All I can say now is that I am glad I do not intend to disqualify myself because someday, yes someday and maybe for all I know now, it is everyday, perseverance and patience see me through.

Thank you, you two

It was well worth it!

I was certainly one of God’s patients patiently healing in Gods’ Intensive Care

Since I had given God right of way when I opened the door of my heart’s chambers when I heard that rap…rap…rap fluttered and reawakened my God-hungry spirit I was without a mumble… it was long haul and it was all worth it. When God set the temperatures in the refiner’s fire to eternal high I wondered…

When God says you are never alone. You are never ever alone; my strength is sufficient... God means it! Nothing, absolutely nothing can thwart God’s plans; not even the most stubborn bargaining process or serious doubt, not to mention, overwhelming problems, can stop God’s plan in its track- this is solemn sincerity.

Wholly Mollify

The mind has been frantically working its way out the miry maze. It feels like it wants me to help it swim out of the sludge with my imaginary fins. I had to remind it that my metamorphosis mentor has not yet developed my wings in physical form.

The best I can do right now to help mind come through this breakthrough is to entertain it with graceful respect by allowing it to relieve itself and reminding it that it is significant full of integrity and authentic as it continues to express its distress and willingness to join heart in honouring innersense

Growing…growing ...growing

I know this body is fit enough for heaven’s use so I accept the healing and heck with the insanity of the struggle for perfection.

The perfection can wait for death’s warrant for that’s when humanness cease to be the rapture of life’s fray. Even then my work on earth cannot cease to be because my manure will be the best stuff that daffodils delight on.

I am just glad God gave me the wisdom to know the difference what is true and what’s ludicrous and for a sense of humour and infectious laughter to help ease the healing of the scabs left from dwelling too much on what cannot harm my spirit. Now I can relate to the Psalmist “God has turned my crying into laughing and set my feet a dancing in a new style and fashion.”

I used to wonder…

…how could human being ever become perfect!

Gone are the days ... the days when ‘I must be perfect’ ushered in nights of wakefulness on the verge of restlessness. Nowadays, I remind myself that I can not be perfectly perfect, that my worse oops is just as important and purposeful as my best aptitude and I usher in nights of restful sleep and days of creativity.

Humanity plus divinity: that is what I call embracing my completeness.

January 15, 2008
Growing…growing ...growing

I know this body is fit enough for heaven’s use so I accept the healing and heck with the insanity of the struggle for perfection.

The perfection can wait for death’s warrant for that’s when humanness cease to be the rapture of life’s fray. Even then my work on earth cannot cease to be because my manure will be the best stuff that daffodils delight on.

I am just glad God gave me the wisdom to know the difference what is true and what’s ludicrous and for a sense of humour and infectious laughter to help ease the healing of the scabs left from dwelling too much on what cannot harm my spirit. Now I can relate to the Psalmist “God has turned my crying into laughing and set my feet a dancing [in a new style and fashion].”

Purging Puratory

The moment to moment whirlwind state of my mind is a sure-fire indication that it had enough of the grin-and-bear-it conditions as a prescription of making it through each breath alive.

Pliable functioning of the innate intelligence that manages every fibre of my being knows exactly what mind was talking about when it began to spew its backlogged complains in to the body until the body manifested mind’s needs- restored integrity of its dignity and ignition of its instincts.

While body did not appreciate the deteriorating toll, it somehow already knew that it can carry on with the business of housing the spirit and soul in the same temple as the mind and still thrive. I tell you, resilience is an ingredient that grace’s even the most abhorrent attitude when mind knows exactly what makes God heed its call. And of course the God who had already helped prepare the mind to behave like the mind answered every one of mind’s salutations with utmost compassion.

God continues to clean up the crevices of my mind

Soughting after God: Priceless!

God, thank you for acknowledging, respecting and accepting all my bruises, scars and fresh wounds.

For not underestimating or exaggerating the realness of my fears of surrendering to you, the realness of my dread of trusting you, for not belting me when I sought you with all my heart; for not belittling me when I made fun of your realness!

After all that we’re been through so far I am confident that I am smitten with you.. I am smitten with the real God- OmniGod; and so I sing because I am happy that you and I are truly, deeply and crazily in love.

I know that I was ready for your love a long time ago, I just was never sure enough that I was good enough to be pursued by you, constantly and so I kept , for a very long time, questioning you on this , that and everything you already approved of me. I am ready for your divine plan and almighty purpose. In spite of all the patience it took to get my undivided attention, my heart sought you, and, found you!

I am so ready for you heart’s desire and so sure of my flimsiness where you and I are concerned that I put my disclaimer and my request for your help, patience and to handle my fragile faith with extreme caution and yes, you did all that too and more than I could ever ask of you. This is what really set my heart afire for whatever you desire to do with my life you endowed me with. I know that there is every reason to not crumble yet I mumble and grumble when I stumble. Still, your grace is sufficient for me.

Your grace and mercy made sure I learnt each lesson and let you use me for your good. As long as you lead me on; guide me along, I am on wining ground; and so I sing wholly… holy is God’s plan.

Soughting for intangible evidence has been a rough patch on very smooth terrazzo still all that you, OmniGod has done turned out to be very good because sooner or later and more later than sooner but as you say always right on schedule your plans is accomplished.

With your help, I will continue to wait for your answer to all my questions at the right time. Help me also to continue to ask you the wrong questions at the right time; the right questions at the wrong time because with you, I am convinced now that the order doesn’t mean a darn thing; it really makes no difference, and that is the difference that Wisdom has taught me between my timing and God’s timing.

Thank you for meeting my needs at you proper time.

Bravo!

And so it is!

Heart to Heart: The greatest risk of all... the safest risk of all!

I am getting use to interacting with my heart and in so doing God continues to pursue it too. How did I get to this level of pure and sacred connection? Well lets just say that desperate hearts seek God and never let go then the bait catches… I reel in God and God reeled me in – which came first? I have no clue- I stared straight at my soul and said ‘bite me’! At that point and from then on I had noting to lose and had everything to gain. That’s a win-win situation right there and it was worth going for! I had already lost everything that did not matter to destiny and ready to claim and reclaim every worthwhile attribute of a purposeful life… no compromises.

God smiled and whispered: my love… no arguments!

Well as everything new I had to maintain a steadfast resilient spirit with each oops moment. Let me tell you, listening to my heart when all other channels try to interfere is no a, b, c ... 1, 2, 3. It’s no frill discerning new brainwaves from static. Well guess who had to take a hike! With God it’s only straight talk… no frills and I had to get it straight. Talk about temptation to give up! Thanks to accountability had to keep on keeping on. I rested when I must so that the test of perseverance and endurance would cheer me on to the wining post; along side that was the desire to trust the process, every step of the way. Frankly, trust and I had not been bosom buddies and that was a big craving because nothing else aligns one to its original image and likeness- by the way, what is the difference between image and likeness! I suppose God knows there is a difference or else mankind would not been created in God’s own image and like, not just image or likeness. That must be a very important combo. I wonder if that comes in super size. Anyway back to my story…

My heart was so dilapidated that God may have used up a lot of jars of alabaster full of mercy and grace, rose petals, hyssop and myrrh. I also received a generous amount of timeouts. That was a big bonus. I already felt that I had surpassed my limits for timeout and it was a really treat when God offered as many timeouts as I wanted. Heartbreaking and heart mending lessons can be very heartrending and soothing. Many times the heart breaking lessons are themselves the heartrending teachers and vice versa and they are the absolutely necessary tools to reinstate trusting my own heart and knowing that it is good.

Talk about hanging in there! Phew! I have accepted that this is a lifetime deal and I have to stay on track always looking forward or else I turn to a pillar of salt! So dear God, keep working on purifying the messages and intention of my heart.

Blunt Border of the Sharp Mind

Not needing any particular reason or following set order the clouds constantly enjoy magnanimity that arouses Earth knowingness of what it feels like during a spell of dryness. The orgasm readying it to welcome sperms from the skies of heaven’s ejaculation makes impenetrable and permeable a combo of gratifying gratifications.

The mind remembers enjoying something like this long before God created Adam and Eve and darn, it wants back this instinctive availability of reigniting its passion to wake up all the cells in their sanctuary of compassion quietly quaking and loudly lamenting to the God who know the brashness of a soul in solitude acting all carefree in the secret of inner sanctum. How soul does this and makes it appear so easy to imitate makes mind send out all kind of entreaty to its maker. Soul says to mind, “buddy, you have it in you to entertain yourself. Just trust yourself a little more my dear friend.”

“Thanks heart for being in sync with the clouds and expressing your intentions as clear as the seasons so I can tend the Garden of Knowledge!”

Maintaining Momentum

Full functioning of optimal obligation to working with Universe requires me to steadfastly buff up self management to responsibly attend to my part in creating optimum conditions for prolific prosperity of substantial sustainable resourcefulness.

I mind wonders what more it can do that it has not yet already done. The mere thinking of this feels and acts like the very cue that invites God to arrange more details of shebang and solutions to remind and inform mind of all that it can still contribute to make the world the place where God wants to build its mansion of many kingdoms here on Earth as the grounding foundation for manifesting liveliness existence of mindbodysoulspirit heaven

Satisfied soul:maintaining the momentum

I waited patiently for the time when human efforts expire…

Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis, I knew this day was fast approaching… it seemed slow in coming but I, God, planned things this way so I could give you enough time to be as desperate for me as I have been longing for you to come to the fork of the road when you go, oh no and I would respond, oh yes!

The time is here and all I can say is welcome back to me.

Your ultimate lover and friend


OmniGod

Winter and Spring in Negotiation

Today's springlike temperature consoles the seeds, bulbs and trees that new life, new growth and rebirth will arrive right on time despite the blustery winter spells predicted for winter 2008. It sure warms my heart and thaws the scare of chapped lips and frost bitten casing.

I suppose that is the deal between winter and spring; spring is agreeing to help out winter; winter signs its side of the agreement... talk about team work!

Mother Nature!

You never seize to amaze me and amuse me! You are such an attention grabber that it is almost impossible to skip your classes or to disregard your curriculum .

Keep on teaching; keep on preaching through your muted outreaching to the human spirit!

Reignited mission

Just as I was about to relinquish my mission, dismissed possibility recalled its intention. What I almost threw out as the bath water glistened! My arms stopped in their tracks, invited the mind to take a closer look. I knew I had already taken out all the babies from the swimming pool of life situations. Glitter in muck… What on earth could make the dross so captivating?

I want to know only this time I did not need to ask God anything. I shall figure it myself! That was fine with God because it planned to teach me the power of using everything well

The mind ascended into heaven and continues to share joy, spread enthusiasm, instil inspiration, stimulate persistence and, present successstories

The same mission served with more passion of compassion. God winked, nested its self and is resting in peace… labour of love continues in the chamber of the mind called Love Lives Here

The Way I Do The Things I Do

Since I started sticking my neck out and even wrestling with the Divine, I have more neck to stick out and more boldness to persevere on.

Thank you God for the threads of life that stitch your purpose fro my life to a T. I am glad you can use each one to design and arrange your outcome- a divine tapestry!

So I will continue to do things the way you wired me to… no other will do. So thank you for not refusing me or the way I do everything I do!

Cheers!

Joining God's Dots ... precisely

What is the difference between pleading and interceding and praying with ceasing and praying and trusting that you are attending to the request after only one submission?

It’s not like I want you to reveal or fulfill my life in one day. I just want to be with you all of the way. The part I need your consolation the most is the, come what may.

Dear God please do something to keep me from swaying and if swaying is good then as long as you are swaying with me that’s’ fine.

Higher Ground Perspective

Dear Angeal-Eyes:

Thank you for letting me handle the details of life like only I know how to and you will receive every good thing you need just in time… always on time- when you can use it well!

The last few weeks I have really been busy wowing you. Ever since you told me to do with you what I want just don’t mess up you, freak you out or take too much time off I have been helping you experience the ‘you better watch out’ ahhahs. Now this is what I call delivering on my iron-clad guarantee. The moment you trusted that the chair was there though matter what and that there are no pins and needles poked in the cushion, you made yourself real comfortable and began to unwind.

Right outcome could not stood you up… trusting your heart again is becoming a healthy way of life.

Had you stayed on shore or stepped in the boat with one foot in and the other testing the water temperature, you’d still be adrift and gathering moss unless you had let me use my spiritual jack hammer again.

Talk about a trial of faith when you thought that I had all the escape routes guarded 24/7. That, by the way, was to keep you safe.

I told you everything will be all right!

Yours sincerely,

OmniGod

Staying on Course...

As I continue to let God guide me at all times, showing me the way to understand and express my own divine nature; I fast from the thoughts and habits that contradict my desires and release what I no longer need, and welcome new beginnings.

-- a brand-new day full of opportunities.
-- new experiences to look forward to a life that is based on the Jesus’ principles and God’s promises.
-- another chance to continue solidifying a relationship with myself
-- fresh perspective on old viewpoints
-- time to attend to the business of everyday living

-- build loving, mutually respectful interpersonal relationships

-- contribute my wisdom (intelligence+experience) unbiasedly

Y2Keight

Timeless

Seconds have a way of crawling
Days ceaselessly gallop to catch up
Years bounce around the brink of time

Here it is… first day of 2008
Life, journey, destiny, hope, fate
Another chance; another clean slate

Since seconds have a way of crawling
Days ceaselessly gallop to catch up
Years bounce around the brink of time

Enjoy each minute; savour every hour

Indeed...

...Another year of life-celebrating opportunities. A clean slate to write my personal script as the director of my very own choice of living well and I do not want to overlook a thing