I know that you are looking for something so impossible to believe that even you feel that you will be shocked when I do.
Even when life looks scarier and emptier, please believe and know that i have not forsaken you nor do I ever intend to. I know that you know that and sometimes have trouble accepting that. Until you stop thinking of me as being uncaring of you or comparing me to wishy-washy relationships and description of me, all your mind will continue to do is fool you into wanting to annul all that we have built together over the last decade. Well frankly you have been hanging on to me for almost all of your life and you even got to the point where you could sit on my lap or put me to sit down on a chair next to you and look me straight in the eye and tell me what you think of me. Give yourself credit for taking those steps.
You are getting better and better yet this ideology of slaving away for brownie points to win my favour is so false and is really robbing you of all that you have developed from our relationship.
Just continue to let me care for you just as you ask me to.
I will remind you of all the wonderful letters you wrote to me and of course all the heartrending poems.
I know you question the point in all you have gone through and all the poems I inspired you to write. One day it will all add up... in fact the story is always unfolding so add all the pieces that you have collected so far. Continue to see things with fresh perspective. The meaning of life is forever open to a shift in how things transform. What made no sense decades or even seconds ago is in full light.
Rest my child rest.. the day for launching your life's purpose is at hand... and no, it is not any thing to make you wish you never pursued me or let me pursue you.
Relax, I am not that hard a disciplinarian. I need you to continue to want to be my best friend too, you know.
I will always be with you especially when things do not make any sense. Please do not count me out; as you know without me you are lost! This can seem intimidating but again remember that I am more than all that bothers you.
Continue to lean on me and I love it when you rest your head on my shoulders. I know you feel strange imaging me there even when you are so convince that I am not. I am your spirit so just know that I am there and taking great care of you....okay!
I am very patient with you, Miss Passionate. I really appreciate all your effort to want to be the person I created you to be. I know you sometimes feel like you can do nothing good or well enough to please me. You already are a girl after my own heart and that's good enough. In other words, live fully- I will show you how! I have always wanted to show you how.
Let go of your fears and frustration, ease your urge to give up on the daily practise of least resistance as you continue to depend on me and let me show you how much I love you... really love you... the kind of love that you yearn!
That's a girl... that's my girl!
Cheers!
Your pal, God
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