When losing means winning everything

When I felt like I was losing my sprit even though I still had breath, I got to the point where giving up everything to reconnect with my core self was inescapable.

Of course I dangled between the ravine separating ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ that threatened to swallow me up if I dared enter the gap so I did the most obvious thing. I screamed for help from heaven and I cursed hell and vice versa sometimes all at once, in the same breath. I did that until courage overpowered foolish fear of losing everything I had toiled sweat, tears and blood to earn.

To begin with, I had made it to the point when there was nothing to lose. No more precious, prized belongings- you know, the things that lay and trained psychiatrists consider valuables even when they supposedly treasureables have well lost their treasureness in one’s life and instead are becoming or have already become in some instances, the prison chains and walls and vampires that one must get rid of or else… The thing is, none of what I was holding on to was of any resourcefulness; absolutely no gain, only pain. Honestly, who determines what is bling-bling and what is precious bling bling to another, eh who? Just like beauty, it is up to the eyes of the beholder.

There was no amassing more loss that is worth emptying my tank of joy let alone giving up bliss bank. No prized possession can brandish its dagger or sword to save me from spiritual bankruptcy. I was at that point when recovering my spirit from the shadows was serious business!

I had to give up the illusion of the imprisoned meaning of importance and liberate my mind, body and soul more so the awe of childlikeness which spirit thrives on can continue to multiply its Essence. I was ready to lose everything to gain everything.

And Jesus’ comparing the prettiest flower which is here today and gone tomorrow as more adorned than King Solomon’s riches costume is no joke. He had to have known what he was talking about.

It was not too long after I heed that admonition that I realize that not only the prison doors were wide open, the prison walls were torn down a long time ago. In its place is a staircase that reminds me of Jacob’s ladder except in my vision the ladder was a dazzling million skies of stars.

The rest is unfolding…