Unwrapping the present!

There is a wise saying that reminds me that within each challenge (the word uses is, problem; since I no longer want to describe events as problems I choose to reword the term) is an opportunity waiting to be discovered.

It is easy to spot the opportunity when it is covered in a sheer layer of wrappings. When this opportunity is disguised by several layer of thick covering that reminds me of Leah's veil, I wonder what on earth is the present… must be something very delicate and irreplaceable!

Lately, I have been asking God for so many gifts…gifts that money cannot buy…Opportunities that only God can reign down on me.

As usual God’s best way of answering my request is to send me a refining fire experience in which I often cannot see any opportunity right away!

I hate when God does that... and God knows that I never like it when I have to guess which prayer that is being transformed into action…into reality!

That goes to prove how many of my prayers are in God’s inbox.

All I know is that I have a big God to handle my earfuls… a God who gives me big enough faith to carry through whatever comes my way; more so, the disguised gifts!

So I continue to unwrap the present!

When losing means winning everything

When I felt like I was losing my sprit even though I still had breath, I got to the point where giving up everything to reconnect with my core self was inescapable.

Of course I dangled between the ravine separating ‘heaven’ and ‘hell’ that threatened to swallow me up if I dared enter the gap so I did the most obvious thing. I screamed for help from heaven and I cursed hell and vice versa sometimes all at once, in the same breath. I did that until courage overpowered foolish fear of losing everything I had toiled sweat, tears and blood to earn.

To begin with, I had made it to the point when there was nothing to lose. No more precious, prized belongings- you know, the things that lay and trained psychiatrists consider valuables even when they supposedly treasureables have well lost their treasureness in one’s life and instead are becoming or have already become in some instances, the prison chains and walls and vampires that one must get rid of or else… The thing is, none of what I was holding on to was of any resourcefulness; absolutely no gain, only pain. Honestly, who determines what is bling-bling and what is precious bling bling to another, eh who? Just like beauty, it is up to the eyes of the beholder.

There was no amassing more loss that is worth emptying my tank of joy let alone giving up bliss bank. No prized possession can brandish its dagger or sword to save me from spiritual bankruptcy. I was at that point when recovering my spirit from the shadows was serious business!

I had to give up the illusion of the imprisoned meaning of importance and liberate my mind, body and soul more so the awe of childlikeness which spirit thrives on can continue to multiply its Essence. I was ready to lose everything to gain everything.

And Jesus’ comparing the prettiest flower which is here today and gone tomorrow as more adorned than King Solomon’s riches costume is no joke. He had to have known what he was talking about.

It was not too long after I heed that admonition that I realize that not only the prison doors were wide open, the prison walls were torn down a long time ago. In its place is a staircase that reminds me of Jacob’s ladder except in my vision the ladder was a dazzling million skies of stars.

The rest is unfolding…

Modern day Lazarus

Lazarus had been dead for four days before Jesus came to resurrect his best buddy. That is just how I am feeling. The thing about knowing the whole event of the story is that I know that he will resurrect my spirit even though it feels like it has gone off to some far distance place.

Even though Jesus himself cannot make it before four days, Father Abraham will keep my spirit safe, wherever it is, and as Jesus brought Lazarus back to life so will my spirit come back to me.

Gods' Grace

Psalm 11: 3 says, there is nothing a good person can do when everything falls apart. The best that I can do when it seems like all has fallen apart is pray that God's Grace does not fall apart; otherwise, I am finished. God knows that I am only just beginning; so help me God to continue holding on to you, your grace, your promise to take care of ALL my 'ups and anys'.

I have allowed you to prove to me that I am good enough only when I see myself through your eyes. Abraham did not know where he was going when you told him time to pack up and leave; Job lost all he owned and delighted in even though his heart was trusting you; it took a burning bush to help you get Moses to recognize the power in the stick he held in his hand; Jonah thought that being a stowaway would stop you from commissioning him to save Nineveh; Nehemiah recognized you even when imposters tried to knock down his confidence in you; Judith, Debbie, Rahab and Esther trusted that God always has a haphakh. I could go on and on...

So I pray: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change

Courage to change the things that I can

Wisdom to know the difference

Clarity to understand what Wisdom is teaching me

Obedience to follow Wisdom's Instructions

Two of God’s great gifts

Wisdom and understanding

Things money can’t buy

Aham!

Modern Day Thomas

I seriously think that I have at least one cell that belongs to each of the biblical characters. Today, it’s Thomas’ that is at the realm of my mentality.

I often ponder on God’s purpose for creating the universe, adorn it with beauty beyond description and populated it with people. Granted all this makes me feel very confident in the knowledge of God, Still feel like, Thomas, that some proof will seal the deal; why I am here waiting for God to do something more in this present day to continue to reveal and do again life events as in the beginning. If I believe Genesis chapter one without a shadow of a doubt, God finished working and was very pleased. So God are you still pleased or as please eons later after creating creation? How are you coping with the world as it is? Ecclesiastes mentions a very valid point- that there is nothing new under the sun- so does that confirms Genesis? And if so, what are you planning to do that the psalmist proclaimed that blessings are new every morning

What exactly is your motive for creating human beings in your own image and likeness and many so underprivileged? Many people doubt your Omniness, your promise their dignity- well except those who no longer envy sparrows; sanctity for life, peace, justice, and reverence for you; God , do you ever feel disgraced are you planning to restore justice. I know that you can do anything you want to then it is not time to turn sorrows to joy

What happened to people who died before Jesus was born or before he died on the cross or hung on a tree?

How did people prepare for their heavenly mansion?

Is it since Jesus came that people lived shorter than Old Testament days or is from then that age was not a big deal worth mentioning!

I mean back in preJesus days, as early as in Genesis 11, life expectancy was very, very long and people died, as in the case of Job at a very great age. Not only that! Some of them had children when they were well into their 600th, 438th year. When did that stop being the norm?

Well even for my sake you will have to reintroduce this era. After all, I am asking for something that I know that you have done and have the power to do again!

A whole bunch of questions for God: Redemptive Rights!

I have been asking God for Wisdom to know the difference. This request has prompted a whole lot more questions and somehow I strongly sense this is God drawing me closer to my Essence. And I am ready... I am sitting on God's lap and I will stay there for as long as it takes and God already knows I have all the time in the world, so lets' do it!

How do I separate the weed from the wheat, eh God?

How do I know which door is concealing your banquet hall?

How am I suppose to live with or without you? Is that even up for grabs?

Are you hiding from yourself, or me, again?


Am I the one hiding from you? Kind of impossible if you ask me!

How much longer before this menace take leave from me? Even Jesus posed this question to you and were he alive, I would have asked his permission to use it.


Why did Jesus have to die to prove your love for mankind? This one is a huge question that engages my mind.

Why is there so many false notions of you?


What are you doing about setting the record straight?

Do you enjoy all the confusion that challenges your creation?


What was your intention when you decided to reveal your intelligence?

Are you happy with how people treat you?


Is faith the same as waiting in vain?


What is the difference between wishing and waiting (patience) for you to come through on your promises?

What is your definition of influence?

How do I recognize- scratch that… how do I know a Godly spirit, you know, the right motive?

How do I understand your purpose of fellow sojourners in my life?

How do I understand your purpose of my life in the life’s of fellow sojourners?

I need to know so I can improve my relationship with you, myself and fellow sojourners.


Were the people in the bible real people, you know, people like me, and all who continued on after biblical times?

What is the difference between knowing the truth and knowing the whole story?

Doesn’t it bother you that I am torn between the real God and the false god, you know, the one who loves me when I am pleasing but uncomfortable and loves me not when I am comfortable in my skin and you who loves me unconditionally?

I recalled what happened to Saul when he chose to listen to the people all the time instead of reverencing your intelligences. Is it any wonder when you ask Solomon for what he wanted, he requested wisdom and your understanding? So what is different between Solomon and me.. Is it my tone with you? I’d like to know!

Why do I envy your sparrows you keep bragging about?
Your stories come with such twist that only you can convince me of the whole truth. What’s the whole point of these biblical stories? What’s the lesson, if not to choose your way…willingly!

What is the difference between conceit and pride?

What is the difference between assertiveness and tolerance?

Why does mankind prefer to pull the wool over their eyes, wear pink-coloured glasses, look away from truth- as if they can!, some even run, others hide or can they.. I guess they can hide away from me but you are right in their face! What about the people who try to hide behind their busy, important lives instead of being conscious, conscientious citizens and stand up for what is right, honest, pure, of good report and of good virtue?

How do you define church?

What is the difference between going to church and being church? I'd rahter be church than go to church.

Where is church, anyway?

Isn't the whole world the church,the marketplace, and the mission grounds?

I know that you know, yes you already know that though matter how high we, humans aim, no one can be perfect, otherwise making mistakes would be a mortal sin and commandment 11 would have been: ‘Though shalt never ever make a mistake … or else!” Who knows, that would have been the second commandment. Yauwch! I would need a haphakh moment with every breath I take, every move I make, every single day because I know you are watching me. Who could live that way, eh God? Really? And who would care about heaven or hell? I wouldn’t!

Why is it that in a world of plenty there is financial poverty, homelessness, working poor; I ,me and heck with everyone else syndrome, social policy that ‘cripple’ the masses?

Do you really expect me to live my days hobbling around searching for meaning in life to prove your omnipotence, Omni God?

I know that you told Paul that your grace is sufficient… What’s your point?

Did Paul have more faith in you…I mean the living kind of faith... not this blind faith, blind trust business... I tried this and it only handed me a suicide note from the ‘lords of the earth’ and the ‘licensed’ drug lords. Conversely Thanks to that suicide note I decided to run to you for coverage… coverage that works!

I know that you created us only inferior to you, God and you must have good reason for doing that.

Do you mind sharing that with me?

Okay God, I am about to ask you the most stupidest question….

Do you ever feel pain?

Do you have ouches like mankind?

Is it all from you, because of you or for your sake?

Is there such a thing as spiritual pain and suffering or is pain only physical, and is it the best way you can discipline the world?

What is my pain suppose to help you accomplish in this plan of yours?

I feel like I am so close to getting you to really open up your kingdom of answers yet I wonder.. so as I usually tell you straight up… pardon my knocking heads with you because that is all I have left to try without giving in to disgrace and dishonour of your breath and turn my back on you and settle for a mediocre life…no I am not suicidal… I using my gift of the spirit of love, boldness and sound reasoning- full circle!

What is your version of truth on forgiveness and self responsibility?

What did Jesus mean by telling Peter to forgive 70*7 times?

And what did Jesus mean when he summoned the disciples to shake the dust from their sandals when their peace returns to them void?

How much did Jesus endure before he took a time out to be just with you?

If Jesus were both God and man does that mean Psalm 8 did not apply to him? What makes Jesus have authority to perform miracles?

You did not create us from a one size fit all mould so why do I feel like I have to be someone else to make it through the day… damn it this is not nice, God? Why can’t I be me…me…me?

Why did you make me one of a kind? Did you?
I tell you have a lot of questions to answer and that is just mine alone… I wonder how many more people have some burning questioning to charge on you?

Like I tell you already, I better live like heaven is here in case when I die there is no heaven- God would I be pissed!

But after talking with you one on one like this, if I die and find out there is no eternal life after death then I will rest in peace…rest assure about that one!

Instead of depending solely on my preconceived ideas or worse yet, the preconceived ideas of human intelligence I rather ask you straightforward and matter-of-factly. Yes I’d rather ask you God, so I can receive the right outcome, first hand. Does that mean I will not take risks?

Well I dare answer this one myself. I will take the risk. I think I am taking one of the greatest risks any human can… So, are you going to help me tap into areas where human is afraid to tread? Common God, no more charades, hide and seek or catch me if you can. I have questions and I want answers from you, and I want them now! As I told you already all I have left is my boldness with you and that is all I can expect so for our relationship to stay real.

So God can you please release some more tips and solid answers on God-ways of living a fulfilled life?

There's a whole lot more God, so for now, I will let you work on these.

Thank you in advance.

God-size lesson... when I am "weak", God is strong

Proving that my mind is stable almost cost me my milk and honey that's continuously served in the many mansions of the kingdom- God's kingdom; heaven, if you will.
The side effects of striving and wanting what the mediocre kingdom offers is like refuelling from "dry foliage". Consequently, all that's left is ashes.

Ashes is useful, don't get me wrong; the thing is if God wants ashes or when God wants ashes, God can get that from the natural combustion process called ecology.

All I can say is that I lived to enjoy life and death without giving up my Spirit.

That's is an Hallelujah moment worth shouting from the mountain tops.

Refreshed Dignity!

A tower built on the base of tunnel vision can never prevail. It comes tumbling down on all those who built it. The castle built on the base of love and sound reasoning towers on higher ground where nothing can toss it about and though the winds of change sways it about, it stands strong- with refreshed dignity!

This allegory is my best way of describing the difference between the spirit of false power and the spirit of resilience.

When the going get rough resilience calls in it friends: perseverance, patience, endurance, tranquility, equanimity and they all bring in their virtues to hold up the staircase built within me so that I safely make my ascent to be with my Essence.

This I take as God-assurance that God is in charge and knows best how to keep me safe and well protected.

That’s an ironclad guarantee!

Personal Preferences

I no longer struggle to accept my personality, physique- now that I know for sure that I am created in God’s image. I don’t care for the facial hair, the grey hairs- okay…okay; I don’t care for hair- end of story. There were even years when I felt too ugly to glance at the mirror. Glad this spook is over.

What I still wish away is the fact that I, now and then, have trouble accepting the fact that transformation is a must from birth to death. I would like to stay young, toned and never having to deal with scientific facts of bodily changes- not that I give a damn about chronology or functional hypothesis.

And what I am really struggling with is knowing for sure what my purpose is in life or, more blatantly what is God up to at such a time as I find myself wanting to never die. I am struggling to accept this leg of transformation. I intend to stay at the green stage of life- the spring phase, if you will. Thank God that my waif wants to remain alive and active, intact, youthful, resilient, zesty, everlastingly passionate.

Right now, I feel like a bird plucked alive! I can handle feeling like a pruned tree or even a dry grape. I cannot deal with life on an empty tank of enthusiasm. I feel like I am losing my ability to live in the here and now. As much as I know that this is the only way to keep my tank of joy full to the brim, soul is wandering.

You are really running the show there God. Oh well, there is a time for laughing and a time for laughing even more. Like Paul, I intend to focus all my energy on enjoying wwhat is as what is. Well let’s start as at accepting what is at what is.

I want everything that God has for me. Even just for this reason I vow to hold on to God and never let go! If nothing else gives my life purpose I know for sure that I am happy to be me. I am content with my originality. I tap into my talents. I can discard unnecessary stress. Wow, that’s reason to shake a leg, shout and sing hallelujah! Now that’s productivity!

Feeling right at home in tombstone territory

For many human beings, relaxing on burial ground seems a morbid act for the living. For many more, it is a place to reminisce what used to be...

For me, a cemetery is a peaceful resting place away from home where I feel at home.

Whenever I feel the need to be somewhere full of life, peace, serenity, tranquility, beauty and a dose of reality all in one place, where life brews and overflows with messages for the living - a place where there is no need for a do not disturb sign from its populace while taking an honest assesment of the meaning of life.

After each visit, I walk away invigorated about the treasure in every breath I take and appreciate every moment that I continue to traverse among the 'living'.

A fresh wave of gratitude keeps me surfing in the land of plenty!

Peek a boo you can come out now

Thank you God for helping me to recognize and use all the untapped abilities that were lying latent inside this life of mine. I am not just a mass of cells. I am a bundle of joy, love with Godabilites.

Thank God for helping me understand the difference between what matters and what really matters.

And I honour this gift.

The blessing of healthy, conscientious self-disclosure

When information sharing and prayer request become gossiping, good intention becomes questionable, at least for me, and vulnerability goes oh, no! The life supporting benefits of self-disclosure and information sharing which is necessary for cementing healthy relationship, be it personal, occupational or social. There are things of course that is only God’s territory, as God knows for sure how to handle a fair judgement and assessment that leaves human spirit and integrity intact.

I used to really believe that being accountable meant that trust is never broken and so I used to be unguarded and unafraid to genuinely inquire about how people are doing. The fear of inappropriate exposure and the needless shame of experiences gloss priceless life transforming mutual self-disclosure. This to me is the deadliest infection that plagues mankind, because each person experiences can help one another.

I have lamented about holding back helpful information or even my own fear of coming across as prying because I know all too well the discomfort of feeling burdened of judgement and of feeling challenged of knowing when to share relevant life stories and when to stay quiet instead of fabricating the truth. Because of my desire for healthy relationships I continuously pray the Serenity Prayer because I had been overloaded with distrust and become very guarded. I need to find and maintain balance in all areas of my life. I accept that people come into my life a reason and I am in people’s life for a reason and those meant to be in my life for a lifetime will stand the test of time. Sometime the reason I think or expect someone is in my life is totally not as I think or expect.

The fact is, we are all social creatures and need relationships- genuine relationship; and so I aspire to be fully present and accept that each person is being the best s/he can be at any given time.

So help me God!

Encouragement

Life is supporting me, even though for the simple fact that God created me as its helper. Living by default was its gift to me as a starter in preparing me to define my specifics in how cosmic details endorse my idea of unique

After all I want this sacred love to expand my faculties of prodigy. What better way to also develop my sacred love ability and be a sacred lover myself!

It is with this knowing that I accept responsibility for giving instructions to God so it can make me, me. Instructions with blossoming thanksgivingness continue to create heaven and earth

Marching in time with Life's Music

I almost lost heart when it seem like time is racing away with my heart’s desires. This happened too many times and so I decided that God was messing with me. My heart was so troubled that I thought God really had not decided what to do with the life ordained to me.

Nothing much mattered and I really did not care two hoots about God and sadly, though I have walked the walk with God and talked the talk with God and about God, I sometimes come this close to dismissing God and always God has been able to keep my spirit as resilient as a reed; if only to one day realize that God has plans, like he had for Jeremiah… plans to use me for good.

Where does that leave my heart’s longing? I don’t know; however as long as I have breath, I will take good care of my heart and let God deal with the aches. Sometimes I wonder God, how can you use someone with such heartache and, why? Okay, let me guess. Is that how you teach unconditional love? Some days I feel like I got your call, God, and then I proceed to take the necessary steps and I look to you for further direction and you are gone. You know how much that scares me and the good thing is it also reassures me that you want me to take some steps on my own... still I doubt you, I question and analyze until nothing makes sense like it used to make sense. Then I get really scared and I doubt myself as being fit enough to dance to your music and I feel that this does not bother you and then that bothers me... at least that is how I feel. How can I feel so convinced that you are using me to do your wonders and still feel so unsettled about why I am here on earth?

Can you explain this to me? I am asking one more time. Can you please reveal your goals that I am to fulfill? Did I miss you cue? How will I know and when will I know for sure that it is you knocking on my heart. You know the cause of my achy heart is because I dread that having your way means kissing my dreams goodbye. Yes, I know that though matter what, in the end you will be pleased with me; somehow I feel that I will go on living only that I will be living a dull life and I cannot give up my zest of for living. Will I still have a gusto to live the next eight decades with or without accomplishing the things I want to? Come what may, I intend to live as long as my biblical friends who lived the longest!

I know you will answer one day or later today or even with my next breath or heartbeat. So instead of taking my heartache to the grave, I continue to get the load of my chest and let you douse it and fill the empty places in my heart with God-style TLC and continue to look forward to the day when all things makes sense in heaven’s big picture.

Until then I continue to stay tune and march in tune with life's music!

Right on Schedule

Well Dear Nympha:

I can totally understand you disbelief.

I know you keep wavering every time you do not get my drift, touché when you feel like you are running adrift as if the captain of your sip has lost course or worse left you in the middle of a storm without teaching you how to operate the rudder.

Well if what I am about to share with you is of any consolation or even a little reassurance... then take heart. I, God, who have promise to undertake all that you entrust me with, I am right on schedule.

I know you often wonder which came first to rest and trust that all is well or to trust that all is well then rest.

I know that you sometimes feel that there is something that you need to do even after you have resolved that there is absolutely nothing more you can do... and that is where the frustration kicks in and instead of letting sleeping dogs lie and leave the tangles to me you try to untangle them.

I know you have been very irritated with my timing and scope of things. I also know that your faith in me is up for grabs but this is one thing I will not let you do and you know that all too well and this is your frustration number two!

All I can tell you is I made you and yes I made you with some human qualities that can cause havoc unless you turn them over to me and you have been keeping very well in hanging them over even tough sometimes, reluctantly.

Thank you for calling out for me.

Omni God

Logging on to the Cosmos

I am running out of ideas of what really is the best way to enjoy God without feeling like I am doing something sacrilege.

As God knows, I am not a big fan of religion, church or some of the beliefs that keep clashing with my best efforts to surrender my life to God and let God take care of me like the bible promises. Even that can be sometimes troublesome. Still I am determined to prove God's love for me at least during the times when doubts takes over my consciousness... which somehow I have trouble believing is doable because nothing oursmarts God.

Philosophy is an interesting phenomena but it keeps me spinning in circles and I often wonder if that is God trying to get my attention because I find life's meaning very intriguing and maybe I want to go where God has forbidden. Then how am I suppose to know God and trust God's timing and be content with hindsight when God says that if I simply ask, all I need will be there right on schedule! The way God works is really geared to keeping me interested in a relationship that cannot be found in the human realm and somehow I know the human realm has a lot to do with it.

Which takes me back to square one. Where is the best place to just be myself and really know that God is happy with me just the way I choose to be myself without being haunted by the stamp of lunatic. I know you know how this feels because even I have sometimes stamped you lunatic. Then and again you are God and that you created human beings a little lower than you. Why is that so?

Well, I know what Solomon have told me " that it is dangerous to be concerned with what people think of me; with God I am safe." So how is God supposed to reach out to me through people and I reach out to people and know that God has a hand in the relationships and moreover, that they are going to make sense to God?

I am on the verge of another bout of unbelief. I wonder if I should even bother trying to make sense of how God works. Then God, grant me a more potent boost of serenity, clarity and equanimity in a way that stops the questions and doubting about whether I am on God's path because hearing directly from God is too fleeting and daunting. I really want to hear from God loud and clear all the time! Is that even possible? I want to believe that you are really working in ways that I could never comprehend and maybe that is not good enough to show your love for me. Sorry God, that is just not good enough for me! Too much damaged trust and all I can do right now is wonder about you. Is that good enough! I need much more reassurance and grace to keep me steadfast on life’s journey!

The faith of a child…open and receptive to God!

I tell you God surely knows how to get me to understand the concept of child-like faith and trust. Since God knew all too well that I had no clue what that meant even as person in hot pursuit of God, I would have trouble doing so unconditionally. The good thing with God is that being willing to let God teach me was a great place to start. Still baffled at how badly damaged and very fragile trust is, God wants t make sure that I get it right especially when life’s frays frighten me.

Although I am well aware and maybe too aware, if there is such a state of being, of how God works with my ouches, I still dread ouchy moments or moments that appear to be too ouchy and that is primarily because my mind is always quick to contradict my heart; hoping to get a lead back in. I always want to convince myself that though matter what I will stay very strong from the outset when discomfort alerts me that God is unto something, yet sometimes I panic. Granted it is not as nerve wrecking as good old days of confusion of God’s love for me and who I really am- a child of God; still, I know that God is training me by restoring my faith to that of a child…open and receptive to God and say good bye to yo-yoing days of “God loves me... God loves me not!”

Because of this I am grateful for yesterday, cheerful about today and excited about an eternity of tomorrows, which eventually becomes cherished todays and grateful yesterdays!

To live the life that God designed me to fulfill in a fashion that enfolds God’s legacy of a life created in God’s image and likeness is choice worth making and for this I am grateful to be alive and like it or not, I have to unconditionally accept that God’s plan for my life is good: how, when, why, where and through whom God works to accomplish that is part of the big picture. I have to trust that God is very pleased with me and though matter how I feel or not able to fully understand nothing can snatch me from God or stop God from loving me unconditionally even when I do not know how to consistently do so myself.

One day God, I will have this let go, let God and faith in things unseen and senseless all shaken, filled to the brim and overflowing! I don't how long before I get there; I will get there somehow... by your grace!

Double Dose

The times when I would not budge before I know for sure-for sure had wear-off my innermost self. Mind was timid of mistrust. Soul too, lost faith and wanted some solid reassurance from the giver of trust.

The universe was willing to assist in the renovation of mindsoul trust in its Maker and the Maker already knows that this is quite possible. Encouraging me to trust that though, was a long haul of lessons.

Still, God had that much faith in me. Of course it already knew why!

I on the other hand still wanted to know for sure-for sure only now along with acknowledging uncertainty of all outcomes and I commit going forward to trust that each tune-up contributes to as-good-as-it-gets restoration

Many Rivers to cross.. thank God for the bridge called hindsight

Angeal-Eyes:

This is God here!

You know, there was time when you used to dig your heel in and look me straight in the eye and tell me when I give in to your request by explaining everything before you give me permission to be your friend or to prove that I am on your side and have been all your life, i used to just shake my head, smile and you know what I was thinking... this girl has no clue what is in store and I know that once I tell her now, I am going to lose her and that is the last thing I want to do!

That is why I never mind your bites and winces, you were already confident that If I am God then I can take whatever you dish out because in all mater you knew that I already knew your motive though matter how childish or rebelliously you presented them. A girl after my own heart... so why have you been so afraid of my wrath and why do you think I was never afraid of your approach with me. I know that you were testing me just as much as I was testing you... granted that most came back to you in hindsight.

Nothing much makes senses until you quieten your mind and still all the ideas that were imported into it- of course they helped you survived; however, your heart never really got much chance to show off what it's really made of and that had been bothering you, I know!

Too much explaining , justifying and defending and yes that can be painstaking and very tiring especially when you do not have the answer that would make your hunch redeemable. It's time to trust your heart a little more because you, my friend, you have a good heart. You still do not know when to stop allowing it to get crushed. Don't give up, my child, you are doing great!

I know it seems contrary to what your mind is telling you... this time trust me on that one... you are well!

Do not be afraid, I am with you all the way!

Your pal, God.

Message of the Season

Fall is here and the trees are already creating an array of beautiful reds, browns, oranges and yellows in such fashion that no design show can come close to imitating. All this is done without Mother Nature hollering for attention.

In another few weeks these very attractive palette of leaves will fade away and the tree exposed and shameless about it are going to be resting while their roots prepare for a rebirth and the flourishing of new blooms in spring in the secret underground.

What do I learn from this?
I, too, go through a period when rest is absolutely essential. I also prepare my mind, body, and spirit for a new flow of life, development and creativity.

Hello Wisdom, I need more answers, and some more blessings!

Just yesterday, I proclaimed so far so good and here I am today with a totally different acclamation!

You know what is most disconcerting about the events of life that people willing to live a full life must endure… it is not God’s wrath. It is the stone throwing that people ‘with no sin’ throw at people who know that they are bruised in the sight of God and still feel whole in God’s presence.

I do not know how Jesus overcame the urge to ignore the ridicules of his antagonist, but I sure am willing to meet with Jesus so he can tell me all about it, live; until then I read on the messages that he left behind and gather whatever I can and then practise as best as I can.

I know that God said that all things are possible but could there have been a line in the original bible that said that something about how to overcome the unfounded allegations that make me wish that Jesus was around in flesh and blood to defend me like he did in Jerusalem and Jericho and wherever else he traveled.

As much as I want to be like Jesus, the buck stops at the death and burial part because I really would not like to go through death hanging on a cross, God… do you get that! I am having a hard time understanding death from this perspective; even understanding life from this light of things is getting more and more baffling. If you, God, used Jesus to prove a point, then why is there so much oppression 21 centuries later?

Is it any wonder that I feel that if you could do this to Jesus, you probably will do the same to me and this is very cruel to think of you like that but God, if you were me, would you be scared; and if not, why wouldn’t you be. Is it any surprise that some people will not want to take an honest assessment of life. Some may be afraid to embarrass you; some may be afraid to embarrass their circle of influence; and, some may be afraid of what you might do if they are totally honest with you.

I feel a little bit of all of the above. I need to be at a point in our relationship where nothing punctures my self worth. Give me a big reason to proclaim that you are the God and you love me very, very much. A part of me is afraid to be so daring yet this is all I have left… my boldness with you, God!

Tapping into infinite intelligence… a daily ritual

Each day I wake up I have to do what my biblical fans did- ask God what’s on the agenda.

It took me long enough to want to imitate the way they carried out their daily business, be it shepherd, man servant, woman servant, widow, prophet, priest and high priest. The important thing is once I started entertaining the thought of enjoying this lifestyle there was no turning back to keeping God at a distance from me.

Gone are the days when I used to think that God was just there to meddle and ruin my dreams and life. The thing is I was building my castle on a mountain of miry clay and God was feverishly interfering so that I realize that the conditioned idea on a life of prosperity and bliss was puny compared to the God-size blessings that had been inviting me to cultivate my personal perspective on life, living, luxury. You see, God wanted me to first stop running my show according to the scope of the realm of human doing and trust that once I let go and let God human being can be the outcome of everything that I encounter. How do I believe that can fully manifest. I do not know how I know; I just know that when God says, I stop listening to all the ‘Simon says’ and I continue to tap into infinite intelligence for answers, clues, ideas, visions and hunches!

So far, so good!

Breath of Life: The Most Valuable Asset Bestowed To Me, By God.

Years of catching up from where I hopped off God’s wagon keeps me confident that right outcomes are unfolding that yields more interest than penny a day compound and even more proactive approach and willingness to heal.

Before I can even begin to amass the wealth that God has set aside for me, I have to catch my breath- the most valuable asset bestowed to me by God!

And so it is!