Many times people inquire about divorce they are referring to the most common usage of the implication of the term as if marital status and divorce are exclusive!
Before, I used to take offence to people inquiring if I have been through the fires of divorce. Nowadays, I tend to agree with the comment, which sometimes is an inquiry stated like a fact; and I smile!
Before, I used to take offence to people inquiring if I have been through the fires of divorce. Nowadays, I tend to agree with the comment, which sometimes is an inquiry stated like a fact; and I smile!
What about the ninety-nine other indications when letting go is the healing balm that the soul need as it continues its metamorphosis. I am not referring to this as condoning the cop-out-bitter-wring-your-neck- bleed your account-milk your assets-and end you kind of altercations or ultimatums that replaces the need to stick it out and examine underlying reasons for disagreements in the heat of the moment battles... life's battles. I am talking about letting go when this is the divine choice. Life's battle will always on call and at what seem like the most importune times.
Also, the most troublesome questions reveal themselves when making such a traumatic decision, as if making the decision, was already not enough on one’s plate: how do I know it is the right thing or the best time to let go and what if I need to hold on…just a little longer...and what if…what if…what if!
Recalling that divorce is separation from anything that stands contrary to oneness of heart and soul: the God-self, I confess...
Recalling that divorce is separation from anything that stands contrary to oneness of heart and soul: the God-self, I confess...
Knowing when to hold on and when to let go and more crucially, knowing what to hold on and what to let go and when I am the one to determine when I call the shots and when God alone can call the shots was my biggest ordeal of the divorce. I mean I got to the point when I threatened to divorce the source of life…go figure!
The delighter of my soul would have none of that so I knew that was a divine no-no; now what?
DABDA waltz in! And I had not even lost anyone! Still I knew that DABDA would not have come in to commence its duty if there were no reason for grieving. Who’s dead, I asked matter-of-factly?
The God who is entitled to its rightful place and true worship ignited a fire inside me as though to wake me up from my denial; and rubbish began to burn. Consummation of God amidst combustion of flotsam and jetsam was wreaking havoc.
It was long battle: refining and cremating- what a combo served in heaven and hell on the super deluxe menu!
Yum!
God knew what I was in for in the long haul so he sent me the angel of anger that helped me understand the ignorance of what was happening to me. Phew! This angel was a feisty one- I met my match!
God took over because he knew the bargaining stage was something only he can handle; needles to say, I did all the talking and God was mute, deaf and asleep. That did not stop me. In fact I felt that was a leverage to tell God off good and plenty! This was kind of my Jacob and Job moment!
Next he sent me an angel to help me deal with days when nothing made sense and the dejection of the ego’s loss in combat. Oh evay!
Then came the Jesus moment… father do you not care that I feel so without you when I need you most! Where are you? If there were a moment when I sweated blood, that was it!
Then came the haphakh
Losing transformed to winning- tears brought on new relief and new lease: I knew that this was the right time to let go, with good reason. As usual, I have been enjoying that process mostly in hindsight. Indeed where there is sorrow; there is joy and they blend well together like day and night!
The delighter of my soul would have none of that so I knew that was a divine no-no; now what?
DABDA waltz in! And I had not even lost anyone! Still I knew that DABDA would not have come in to commence its duty if there were no reason for grieving. Who’s dead, I asked matter-of-factly?
The God who is entitled to its rightful place and true worship ignited a fire inside me as though to wake me up from my denial; and rubbish began to burn. Consummation of God amidst combustion of flotsam and jetsam was wreaking havoc.
It was long battle: refining and cremating- what a combo served in heaven and hell on the super deluxe menu!
Yum!
God knew what I was in for in the long haul so he sent me the angel of anger that helped me understand the ignorance of what was happening to me. Phew! This angel was a feisty one- I met my match!
God took over because he knew the bargaining stage was something only he can handle; needles to say, I did all the talking and God was mute, deaf and asleep. That did not stop me. In fact I felt that was a leverage to tell God off good and plenty! This was kind of my Jacob and Job moment!
Next he sent me an angel to help me deal with days when nothing made sense and the dejection of the ego’s loss in combat. Oh evay!
Then came the Jesus moment… father do you not care that I feel so without you when I need you most! Where are you? If there were a moment when I sweated blood, that was it!
Then came the haphakh
Losing transformed to winning- tears brought on new relief and new lease: I knew that this was the right time to let go, with good reason. As usual, I have been enjoying that process mostly in hindsight. Indeed where there is sorrow; there is joy and they blend well together like day and night!
Yum...Yum!
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