Ever noticed how comfortable it is to become uncomfortable when the comfort sought after chases the comfort that used to be. Spent most of my previous life yearning for life as good as it gets and then I wanted to shy away from as good as it gets. I have arrived to the point where I give myself permission to enjoy period of activities immersed in periods of active inactivity and for a little while I beckon; “Attained Desire, what hast thou done!” What’s up with that!
As if attainment of desire is something to be despised and feel unworthy of.
Am I ever found in the same place where I was lost looking for what I desire- it seemed, at first, that I did not know exactly what I wanted but I know that I know that I wanted something … something to at least keep me afloat while I surf the tide of life. Oh buoy!
Sometime it would have help to know what I was looking for, what what I was looking for look like; and to have an idea if what I am looking for even cares one bit. Other times and most helpful were times when I had no clue what to look for, what what I was looking for look like; and know that what I am looking for cares even a small bit. It was at least, a bit easier to spot what I thought I think I am looking for and to handle the thorns and prickles shamelessly and free of false guilt. How did I do that!
Magic?
Here it is!
A bit of praying and a lot of risky; risky, not whisky although at time that would have probably helped, by then I had become reacquainted with gutsy therefore I decided to get high on risky and on a roll with risky so as to become comfortable with using its instinct. That’s the magic part…
Getting comfortable, praying and being careful what I pray for was my share of the pie. Admitting that I, all along, knew exactly what I was chasing after; of course, there was the diagnosis of my Pentecost Day-Peter personality and since I was already gusty enough, I did not give a ‘rat’s ass’ even though I felt uncomfortable not defending, explaining or justifying and giving a ‘rat’s ass’…the first sign of becoming the best damned child to be conceived and born from the womb of God… or from whence ever I sprung forth…again that was magic at work. I used to wonder why God did not have a womb; until I understood the nobleness of parenting- the cocreation process- as two people acting directly on behalf of God’s womb. Wilson and Maudrina were God’s channel used to consummate its desire to add me to Cosmic's genealogy. Wow! Thank God they were available to receive God’s honour and highest calling and for God using them as they were and for cocoreating me as I am!
Loving myself as I AM and offering compassion with pure passion is my number one desire… the rest is unfolding in many ways!
As if attainment of desire is something to be despised and feel unworthy of.
Am I ever found in the same place where I was lost looking for what I desire- it seemed, at first, that I did not know exactly what I wanted but I know that I know that I wanted something … something to at least keep me afloat while I surf the tide of life. Oh buoy!
Sometime it would have help to know what I was looking for, what what I was looking for look like; and to have an idea if what I am looking for even cares one bit. Other times and most helpful were times when I had no clue what to look for, what what I was looking for look like; and know that what I am looking for cares even a small bit. It was at least, a bit easier to spot what I thought I think I am looking for and to handle the thorns and prickles shamelessly and free of false guilt. How did I do that!
Magic?
Here it is!
A bit of praying and a lot of risky; risky, not whisky although at time that would have probably helped, by then I had become reacquainted with gutsy therefore I decided to get high on risky and on a roll with risky so as to become comfortable with using its instinct. That’s the magic part…
Getting comfortable, praying and being careful what I pray for was my share of the pie. Admitting that I, all along, knew exactly what I was chasing after; of course, there was the diagnosis of my Pentecost Day-Peter personality and since I was already gusty enough, I did not give a ‘rat’s ass’ even though I felt uncomfortable not defending, explaining or justifying and giving a ‘rat’s ass’…the first sign of becoming the best damned child to be conceived and born from the womb of God… or from whence ever I sprung forth…again that was magic at work. I used to wonder why God did not have a womb; until I understood the nobleness of parenting- the cocreation process- as two people acting directly on behalf of God’s womb. Wilson and Maudrina were God’s channel used to consummate its desire to add me to Cosmic's genealogy. Wow! Thank God they were available to receive God’s honour and highest calling and for God using them as they were and for cocoreating me as I am!
Loving myself as I AM and offering compassion with pure passion is my number one desire… the rest is unfolding in many ways!
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