Healthy, wealthy and wise living

Relaxing is yielding the fruit of spontaneously willing to trust that all is well and know that what is not well will be made well. What I need to do will become clear because wisdom guides and prompts me as well as provides the resources when I need them best and most.

That does not mean that my hallelujah chorus does not get interrupted and switch to baa baa baah when my mind strays from the certainty that my intentions and actions are positive, supportive, generous, and life sustaining. Also, doubt and impatience still try to stalk the mind even while grazing in green pastures beside still waters with the Shepherd in plain sight. It is amazing how they sneak up on me and sometimes have the knack to scare me, even though slightly, and in places and at times I least suspect!

Still I have the courage to let my guard down, and if I had any hair, that is the time I would let it go and frolic in a field full with butterflies, eagles, lions and snakes as the wind teases and plays with my hair. Since I have no hair I let it lighten my heart and tickle my lungs and bring out the best laugh in me!

Wooohooo! I love that even better!

Unveiling the mystery of mysteries

Removing the veil of judgement from circumstance is becoming a much more welcomed medicine that cure the malady of the mind. Accepting things as they are to be motivates me to change the way I see the good in them and so I change my preconceived expectation and receive that which is delivered knowing that everything happens for a reason that I often do not need to always know right on the spot; the need to know why, when, where, what and how are terms to help one make decision all well and good. The thing is, not all the outcomes is managed by human knowledge and this is what I had to get straight. It is this and not the unrelenting need to know exactly what each experience that have frolicked with my life, state of mind and proviso of the heart.

Sometimes I am surprised at how easy this seem to be accomplished and other times this infinite potential is a knock-me-upper! Heaven still disciplines the mind- sometimes calling it a ‘stubborn servant’ and proceeds to renew the ornery cells until they release their grasp on what used to be and no longer is, in exchange for what always is, was, and will be necessary. There are times too when heaven allows hell to stage Job moments. I do not have to do anything to change the perimeter of circumstances that is beyond my control. OmniGod will make sure of that! That is a promise that has proven itself time and time again since Omni always knows that renouncing what used to be and unveiling the mystery of mystery need a lot of gall and guts to face Goliath and own up to the Burning Bush.

I figure that makes me on par with the three Hebrew brothers and the sparrows! I am also enjoying a morsel of Jesus’ attitude during his predeath phase of human life: Heavenly Father, if the chalice cannot just varnish without me guzzling or sipping it, your will be done; the other mantra is a bit like a wheel that is being pushed while still stuck in a ditch of sludge: OmniGod, forgive us all for we know not what you are about. The cells I share with fellow creatures and beings-past, present and, reinvented- are no longer sedentary.

Yardstick of Health: The Disgusting Truth!

When human excreta and everything in it was the best pointer to what’s going on in the flora and fauna of the body, mind and spirit, treating the organism in the manner it was designed to flourish in an environment conducive to optimal health was facilitated.

When the importance of rest, sleep, whole foods and heeding nature’s call is removed from the human business of living, the body becomes delusional about it role of optimal function and its clean up campaign becomes confused.

Flushing the yardstick, applying a sealer to obstruct the function of sweat glands owning to sweat and sometimes that means sweating profusely! Collections of breath fresheners, air fresheners and platinum strength anti-perspiration won’t disguise the truth that exposes our health and wellness quirks. These habits serves as Nature’s way of giving a nudge to do something to help and not damage our temples.

Discussion of stinking sinking shit, fetid floating faeces irk many who would rather not enjoy the benefits of knowing how to stay healthy inside and out.

In this hurry-up-deadline era, nature’s calls are grossly ignored until the body takes drastic measures to get one’s attention. In this instant gratification state of wanting cures, solutions go by unheeded simply because it takes too much time based on the human concept and measurement of time as if the breakdown became obviously detrimental in an instant and the hurriedly-processed potions can replace good old slow pristine processing of nature’s plants which no pharmaceutical company can successfully mimic.

As for me, I am heeding nature’s call; and, not feel irksome when the river of perspiration pumps out accumulated toxins, pain that makes me look wrinkled; and, the stench in the bathroom says ‘take stock of what goes in because it influences what comes out’.

When the cause of the break down is tackled as part of the malfunction and all areas of the life pie are examined then the symptoms and underlying cause are more accurately attended to.

In some instances, instead of befriending the by product of the body’s as a signal and sometime warning the person in the body to help, we misunderstand the SOS. The evidence is flushed down the toilet without even receiving a glance or sniff and barge off to the nearest invasion outlet that pretend to help to fix and cure things, take the smell away only to have Nature summon that interfering with the body’s attempt to arrest the very invasive elements causing even more damage.

Nature is not a nuisance. I used to think it was!

Totally giving up on the built-in human lab to properly digest life and expecting temporary meals of pills to do the job of keeping a dysfunctional body alive and well is like capital punishment.

The body becomes unable to recognize it own cells and begins to wage war; cells mutate, healthy bacteria devour its helpers; viscera launch a work to rule, organs break down; toxin run wild. When that continues long enough, voluntary motion can become involuntary; brain, not caring to ration, continues to steal glucose from wherever it can, while it can, the lungs begin to run on empty; the hearts pumps blue blood- carbon dioxide, not nobility; the world churns, mind spins; decay begins inside, the stench of decomposition exudes through pores and cavities until the encasement crumbles and the body exhausts itself unless…unless…

…When the symptoms are welcomed and treated as a friendly wake up call in which case its warning is heeded. Cells begin their repair: liver regenerates, heart muscle pumps with valour’s vigour, lungs inflate like a celestial balloon and there is music in the air that takes the breath to all the capillaries; the colon churns gleefully and all the waste is washed away as nature intended. After this is adhered to long enough the body can be well again and even not we can still be even more productive, even as advocates and models of the importance of rest, sleep, conscious activity, active stillness, whole foods and clean air

Treating the person in the body with love and respect are no longer optional.

Pain: from ouch to mm-mm…mm-mm-mm!

The pain indicator which summoned the body’s cry for help by constantly flashing its emergency warning signal that the body was in a severe survival state to the point of barely hanging on is slowly and surely bowing out from duty after decades of service. It looks forward very much to retirement and it is with utmost pleasure that is applauds its successor-pain that signals me to continue attending, honouring and respecting the whole person as it is being restored, renewed and recharged.

Crystallized emotions and cells and enjoy deep massages, gentle touch and stimulation especially the soul-spirit connection kind that reminds one that s/he is never alone- kind of like the invisible touch contact. I suppose that is why I can relate even more innately with Omnipresence. Being ad lib to that kind of awareness is what this current status of pain is serenading me to continue aim for. I used to so want a God that I can see, touch, feel, taste and smell and a God with ears that I could grab with two hands and bring his head close enough so I could really scream a deafening scream that no one else would hear. Moreover a God with tongue, teeth and cheek who can talk to me and tell me how I am doing.

This kind of pain makes me moan with content as I continue to stay in tune with what I am feeling and, doing something, even a little something to assist the body’s to its point of optimal restore balance. I look forward to never having my body to sound its alarms like it used to before it got my undivided attention to move from ouch-ouch to yum-yum.

A simple ounce of proaction is by far, much better than the short-term effect of tonnes of painkillers and denial.

Personal insight into the incomprehensible

If someone had predicted to me that I would one day, or in an instant, lose the need to fight the outcome of life circumstances even it was killing me to do so, I would have fighter even harder.

I recall reading somewhere that surrendering does not mean one is weak and now I believe the truth in this saying! I think that is what triggered my mind to give up the fight to compete for Atlas’ title. My need to always be on the go and in some mad dash to overthrow Atlas has lost its appeal and hold on my life. All I want to do now is rest, without feeling strange about doing so. I feel that this is getting me better attune with real surrender confident that there is nothing to fight with to prove that my life and every ones' life is important.

I am finding that I am more bold about my rifts with Life and since then I have been enjoying the need to just relax even when I am not always sure how to express the new found deep level of freedom from flee-fight.

April 27, 2008
Pain: from ouch to mm-mm…mm-mm-mm!

The pain indicator which summoned the body’s cry for help by constantly flashing its emergency warning signal that the body was in survival mode and barely hanging on, is slowly and surely bowing out from duty after decades of service. It looks forward very much to retirement and it is with utmost pleasure that is applauds its successor- pain that signals me to continue caring, honouring and respecting the whole person as it is being restored, renewed and recharged.

Crystallized emotions and cells enjoy deep massages and gentle touch and stimulation especially the soul-spirit connection kind that reminds one that s/he is never alone; kind of like the invisible touch contact. I suppose that is why I can relate even more innately with Omnipresence. Being ad lib to that kind of awareness is what this current status of pain is serenading me to continue aiming for. I used to so want a God that I could see, touch, feel, taste and smell and a God with ears that I could grab with two hands and bring his head close enough so I could really scream a deafening scream that no one else would hear; moreover a God with tongue, teeth and cheek who could talk to me and tell me how I am doing.

This kind of pain makes me moan with content as I continue to stay in tune with what I am feeling and, doing something, even a little something to assist the body to its point of optimal restore balance. I look forward to never having my body to sound its alarms like it used to before it got my undivided attention to move from ouch-ouch to yum-yum.

A simple ounce of proaction is by far, much better than the short-term effect of tonnes of painkillers and denial.

Resurrection of Reality

The weight of destructive demands on the mind body soul spirit had been brutally collapsing my ability to tune in to my internal cue. Conversely, this very state of experiencing agonizing self sacrifice created a clear channel that is encouraging and supporting my intuitive intention to recommence full function of self trust, self love, self acceptance, courage, resilience of self awareness and respect for my innate being

Ongoing maintenance of self responsibility provides me with appropriate approach in inventing personal protocols for self discipline of authentic authority and self directedness as the gateway to total recovery of mindbodysoulspirit oneness blueprint of my IAMness intrinsic harmony and impeccability.
Suffice to say, existing without my Self is no longer an option for survival on Earth or a prerequisite for ascension into Heaven.

Another peep into plan and purpose

Dilemmas delight my desire to take a head-on look at life’s catch 22’s and search inward for the answers and solutions that spark inspiration to generate right outcomes. Issues that I would once just wish and pray away are now better managed by adding some active action to active inaction.

Rushing waters and the pitiable look of a dried up riverbed exist as the same river at different lifetimes, all very gracefully: no shame, no huffing or pouting, no regrets as it continues to meander its way to the sea for a happily-ever-after consummation of Nature’s arrangement.

Is that how the Giver and Author of Life measure my lifetimes and gauge how I am holding up when the sunshine and rain meets joy and pain of bona fide living?

I am finding my way to where spirit, body and mind enjoy harmony and laughter, love and prosperity that surpasses the temporary highs and lows. Like the river, I will get there somehow.

A matter of the heart and mind

Just as nothing can confine the infinite into finite so can love be truly unbounded no matter how desperate one wants to try to contain its essence or reduce its meaning to a fixated version that keeps hearts and mind in bondage.

Is it any wonder love never fights and even if were to fight it is a divine pursuit. Love loves so much that it surrenders, so completely! Love cannot be consumed or exhausted; it thrives no matter what! In the quiet of my heart amid the bustle of my mind love radiates.

No longer frightened by this certainty, I choose to remain open to give and receive this everlasting gift with an attitude of sincere joy and gratitude.

So far, so good!

Testing my mettle when charging in to the unknown and facing the unexpected is yielding abundant results like, seeing things in a new light, reconsidering my personal agendas in light of the big planner’s plan, and pushing past those mental barriers; feeling pretty normal having ongoing dialogue with myself; childlike excitement, at the simplest attention grabber, though matter where; tiptoeing into nature's mind to check out her volumes of tips so that I can glean ideas, first hand, on how to tackle the answer to the question “What do I really want to do with my life while anticipating my ultimate calling?”

The already concrete goals etched in my heart even before I quite knew what I was asking God for when asked to choose a vocation in life. After wrestling with this assignment back then, days before the due date, I finally grew enough courage to write it down: marry and have all my children... and to teach came on the scene years later. Teaching was manifesting in almost a jiffy!

Sometimes I wonder if God is still enjoying a laugh on the fact that I totally renounced entertaining the idea of being married to Christ himself. As a child, it was not so much that I found the idea of marrying to the body of Christ a bit morbid and farfetched but the terms and conditions of accomplishing that meant abandoning a big portion of my dream to be sacrificed and since Christ was already an ultimate sacrifice I already was old enough to know that I could not stomach that nuptial agreement and deny myself the truth of the role I felt would make me eternally blissful. So of course I wrote what my heart invited me to admit and confess my ultimate calling. My heart's desire now, is still that one day God will bring it to full fuition. The cognisant feels trapped by the constraint of time; still the intuitive guide is encouraging me to believe and trust its ability to silence the noise of doubt and despair.

And so the dream lives on, weaving all kind of possibilities!

The process of human learning and growth

Incorporating changes in everyday life and its events; trusting, yes trusting even in the midst of perfidy and the brutality of the strong desire to fend off change are all vital in staying committed to growing and learning and learning and growing- still, there must be an ineffable something else that refreshes the curiosity about the mystery of nurturing of oneself while waiting for a better day.

Perhaps the intrigue of the excitement of befriending the unknown is the spark that keeps me engaged to and with the soul. It feels like this is a required course on the earthy part of life’s journey. Nothing can substitute this chapter in the book of living creatures so no need fall prey to the urge of putting it off and wait for a better day.

Once one gets to the point of exploring new interest and revisiting old interest with fresh enthusiasm even the conundrums are welcomed to help in the growing and flourishing of the mental/emotional garden... that's my take on life now, anyway!

So, with torch raised high and burning bright, I progress at snail-pace to the last lap of the earthly journey and, enjoy ad finitum, in the meantime!

Darkness of Daylight

I am at a point when I feel every thing makes sense and nothing makes sense, simultaneously; and I am suppose to make sense of it all and choose wisely.

Discernment, I need thee!

It is as though I do not know what to feel or how to explain what I am feeling and what to do to resolve the conflict between what I am feeling versus what I want to feel. Or maybe it is this old habit of the urge to always make sure everything is as I would like it and even though it is not, I do not care to fix anything, anymore and this is disquieting. Change is good; and, troublesome too!

It’s like my embryo is echoing or yet another of spirit and mind. Total chaos in heaven and, hell is having a good time and for some odd reason that is all well and good, interesting and clearly how I can describe what I sense is going on. for all I know, that is really what’s going on... I am letting things be; as the saying goes things have a way of fixing themselves.

Thanks, discernment for being so prompt with a serving of serenity, courage and wisdom to know when I need to intervene, and when to back off and let life take its course!

I wonder if that is memory reminding me of how the death of my leaving Mother’s womb and birth of preparing for birth and life and life in the larger womb of creation called Earth.

For all I know I am having a conscious concept of pains of childbirth. All I can do now is continue to heed the ebb and tides and surf on! I suppose this is what pilgrims, sailors and cruisers do!
Every element of life harmoniously works to achieve the best possible outcome.

God's Conduit

There are certain instructions designed personally for each being who traverse along planet Earth. Course of actions conceived during periods of stillness along life’s journey that make sense only to that individual, unfolds- be it lessons learnt or taught or repeated until learnt and taught. Dreams and Visions, if you will.

Even biblical teachings are able to imprint a unique message on one heart and a totally different message on another’s mind. Like the bible, dreams are not stagnant or meant to be a mystery or relevant for a particular period in one’ s life. I see the bible and conscious dreaming as foresight 101 to those who are dreaming with eyes open wide, I like to call these the look out-look in visionaries; the ones who dream during the day and know without a doubt that silence is speaking!

REMer’s active sleeping can sometime wash ashore a lot of mental debris; dreams tangled with worry, fear, hate, love, doubt and such scary stuff that would be too scary and senseless to the consciousness are debugged, and rendered friendly instead of the havoc provoking life scenarios acted out in waking moments. Thank God for nightmares- those dreams makes one happy to wake up and go wooosh! Thank heavens I was dreaming!

The dreams that I somehow cannot seem to thwart or trick and which keep me occupied with prying open the vault of mystery’s imagination always get my attention. I know they mean something yet I am lost as to what to do with, about and through them. I know that they are a daily guide and tool, irrespective of the time period in which it was revealed and recorded. Sometime I try to interpret them myself, in my own kind of way, I am yet to be satisfied money back guarantee with what I want them to mean. So I have revert to letting dreams interpret the creator’s plan as my all time favourite activity, like I did before I lost the childlikeness of being a real child:

I got caught up in the growing up busyness. Then I began to treat my dreams as something that was relevant and meant to make sense only in the immediate time of its occurrence trying to interpret them to my heart’s frustration. I would just pray that they serve their intended purpose while I go on with the business of living, in oblivion. Sometimes I even tried to not dream! It felt like severing from something very near and dear to me that I could never explain! I did not know quite what it was then but I sure missed those times we spent together in my dreams.

That went on for a while and the yearning got more and more intense until I allowed myself to dream again, it was like inhaling the fresh breath of the morning and the feel of the predawn mist. My arms always wide open to reach up and embrace this unfathomable something that always had arms wide open waiting to pick me up way up there. It was not human and I loved the idea that it was not human.

Some unattended or dismissed dreams may not have dire consequences and it may not cause havoc if left in the snooze lose compartment of the merry go along maze. It’s like without a map one can easily get there. There are the ones that if and when unheeded or left forlorn will follow you in your sleep, interrupt your best human ideas, stalk your mind and totally engage your soul in its rapture. To me it’s like a poem that grabs my fingers, pulverizes my mind and commands my undivided attention to my heart until I take it where it wants to go and sometime until I let it take me where it wants me to go; it even lets me go where I want too, now and then, when its okay with that- a little free will, if you will.

The thing is dreams are willing to be aides along the route of judiciousness and what better way to fait accompli than to have intelligence write personal notes and ‘for your heart only’ love letters. This is not fantasy; this is God speaking live and direct through built in connection wired in such fashion that life becomes a safe playground for awesome adventure.

That’s why the return of once forsaken dreams feel like God is moving heaven and earth to get to the dreamer and the more the dream won’t go away, the more undivided attention is expected in order to focus on heart matters. Like a beaming lighthouse dreams warn, protect and at other times reassure the dreamer that everything is all right.

Sometimes the dreams in and of themselves do not make sense right then and there just like the ones Joseph had while his brothers were out working in the field. It took so many chapters before its meaning unfolded; still God had not forgotten the covenant. Make no mistake, when it is from God- dream or nightmare… awake or asleep; it all makes sense in God’s plan.
And when foresight seems nebulous: hindsight to the rescue dreaming after the dream seems over!

Until the dream awakens and the sleeper dreams on with eyes wide open!

Surfing the Tides

Flexibility and least effort are two concepts that go hand in hand when surfing the tide of life.

Being in a place when least resistance is the strategy of the moment, I lose the desire to fight uncertainty, which is what I have been tempted to do these past few days! I know that it is time to take another step forward and somehow it feels like I need also to take a step backwards. Life is ready to take me deeper into its mystery or maybe it is already taken me there, and just waiting for me to step inside the darkness where the light is also shining brightly.

Staying still during a turbulence is not easy and in the school of total acceptance of what is, this is what’s required to make it through! Oh how I wish I could change that policy in Natures curriculum! Since this is not a practical handy helper, I will relax and imagine the experience of serenity. The freedom to break away from limited thinking and be able to explore unlimited possibilities, exploring new interests and even revisiting old interests with fresh enthusiasm feels strange- a strange kind of contentedness I always wanted to experience.

Even the conundrums are welcomed to help in the growing and flourishing of the garden of life... that's my take on life now, anyway!

The strong desire to haggle with or manipulate the outcome of the Creator’s reason why I am here is slowly dying. I have a much better grip on the reason why grief is an acceptable need in the letting go and the moving on with life’s pilgrimage .

Uninhibition

Feelings and ideas with all the crassness of the irrational mind make the subconscious a powerful tool full of limitless supply of possibilities and potential that expands the options of smart ways to live well.

So much living a daily rich dose of experience that the brain resigns from the constant obsession that inflates the limits of the five senses as finite thereby causing its own death prematurely by feeding its senses with fears and phobias that it knows all too well how to reverse or revoke if it wants to live forever. The world built on brain cell memory alone can always invite the brain that already knows everything and together the modern mystic and ancient archetype can live happily for ever after and loving it all

Attained Aspiration

Ever noticed how comfortable it is to become uncomfortable when the comfort sought after chases the comfort that used to be. Spent most of my previous life yearning for life as good as it gets and then I wanted to shy away from as good as it gets. I have arrived to the point where I give myself permission to enjoy period of activities immersed in periods of active inactivity and for a little while I beckon; “Attained Desire, what hast thou done!” What’s up with that!

As if attainment of desire is something to be despised and feel unworthy of.

Am I ever found in the same place where I was lost looking for what I desire- it seemed, at first, that I did not know exactly what I wanted but I know that I know that I wanted something … something to at least keep me afloat while I surf the tide of life. Oh buoy!

Sometime it would have help to know what I was looking for, what what I was looking for look like; and to have an idea if what I am looking for even cares one bit. Other times and most helpful were times when I had no clue what to look for, what what I was looking for look like; and know that what I am looking for cares even a small bit. It was at least, a bit easier to spot what I thought I think I am looking for and to handle the thorns and prickles shamelessly and free of false guilt. How did I do that!

Magic?

Here it is!

A bit of praying and a lot of risky; risky, not whisky although at time that would have probably helped, by then I had become reacquainted with gutsy therefore I decided to get high on risky and on a roll with risky so as to become comfortable with using its instinct. That’s the magic part…

Getting comfortable, praying and being careful what I pray for was my share of the pie. Admitting that I, all along, knew exactly what I was chasing after; of course, there was the diagnosis of my Pentecost Day-Peter personality and since I was already gusty enough, I did not give a ‘rat’s ass’ even though I felt uncomfortable not defending, explaining or justifying and giving a ‘rat’s ass’…the first sign of becoming the best damned child to be conceived and born from the womb of God… or from whence ever I sprung forth…again that was magic at work. I used to wonder why God did not have a womb; until I understood the nobleness of parenting- the cocreation process- as two people acting directly on behalf of God’s womb. Wilson and Maudrina were God’s channel used to consummate its desire to add me to Cosmic's genealogy. Wow! Thank God they were available to receive God’s honour and highest calling and for God using them as they were and for cocoreating me as I am!

Loving myself as I AM and offering compassion with pure passion is my number one desire… the rest is unfolding in many ways!

Writing my own history: mind-boggling

The mind has no where to start off helping me to write about myself; it is totally baffled at the idea of condensing life to a particular conglomerate of cells.

Most incidences that I treated as mine and ready to carve in stone, time stamped, labelled important, unimportant, foolish, mistake, award winner, cherished prize; some even archive and oops- buried ones too, seem irrelevant with each inhale and exhale and at the same time all too fresh to call history or even memory and old enough to have past on from generation to generation. None is exclusively mine or theirs... we all contributed to most of them. The most astonishing are the ones I stamped ‘life threatening’ and ‘perfumed with death’ were in fact the ones incensed with the resin of life as they transformed to life altering hoorays that yielded amazing result. I was determined to rewrite the beliefs that provoked the overgrowth of ignorance in effort to preserve descendents from its purgatory.

Learning history helps to unlearn history so as to rewrite history and make history, which is constantly changing history. Lots written; lots more still unwritten yet already written. What has happened is happening and the beat goes on and on and on and history continues to unfold. The music changes the same notes are the same as always have been.

Sorting through the records designed by time and space can be so time consuming and limiting. Maybe for starters, I shall acknowledge that I have my very own life, with live, direct access to its source and provider anytime, anywhere. That seems like a good starting point, which now brings me to a turning point. I am still interdependent on the whole even the history of the whole; that reverses its need to be considered archaic; at least in the imaginative writer’s mind.

Writing my own history brings me in tune with the reality that I do not even have a history; maybe that is evidence that OmniGod is constantly renewing me to its image so I can have full knowledge of the Great I AM. That’s reassuring and gives meaning to life and makes death and dying a solace to the living and the dead. If nothing else, this helps me make sense of the message behind Jesus’ life story.

Not frozen to think the same as yesterday or behave in ways that no longer serves pilgrim's purpose on higher ground, just to uphold some theory of genetic and hereditary disposition trapped in volumes of statistical and empirical evidence manufactured by surveys and parameters design to bound the soul, is very liberating.

The most ancient part of me is bright awareness so long as I choose to remove the chronological cloak of space and time that force life into finite formulae. What exactly is one attempting to capsulate when writing history when every breath I take every move I make is already recorded somewhere in ad finitum. Distinguishing the starting point of the circle is useless- each day, every event and all time present opportunities for ending, continuations, beginnings. History is not something old! It is experienced in taking on the madness seasoned with gladness; wise, always fresh and bursting with unsurprising surprises; of course to some that is uncharacteristic. Who cares!

These masses of molecules endured curse of doom, delusion, damned, DSM IV categories 1, 2, 3 and 4, trickled down effect long. This was nothing but blatant disregard of the creative and restorative power of God.

The ripple effect of fine tuning balance in all areas of my life is restoring health in areas that were attacked by the wand of medicinal spell a.k.a diagnosis of life long disorder, inherited and genetic disease … disorder, inherited and genetic disease my foot!

Now that’s worth recording for present day relevance to history and history’s modern day relevance!

Urges Surge

Demystifying the cloudy conditions of the intellect helps elevate the feeling of oneness with all of creation implementing innovative ideas untrammelled by antecedent attitudes.

The brain no longer appreciates working like a mechanical machine. The cells that were once quaking with fear are now reveling reverence to the most-high builder and architect. Just like the image of its maker it now creates more with least effort

Nurturing the soul

Rolling back the video of my life to what seem like a few lifetimes ago, I marvel. It’s not too often I used to give myself permission to let my guard down when on a date with OmniGod. So many hurried rendezvous with my Essence, I lost count … That was okay for a while… a little went a long way and, every little bit helped.

The thing is once I became convinced that I was dealing with jealous OmniGod who will never settle for second place- ever, I had began to heed my heart's cry more fervently! The ‘hurry up and let’s get on so I can carry on with the busyness of living’ mode had to go. It had to or else the part of me that cannot die would be taken away from the cavity of my chest; and the part that is only a loan while on earth would be off lease and return to from whence it came.

The racing of a frantic mind and the heartbeat of love are distinctively clear to the spirit even though both race at the same pace. I...I ...I couldn't tell the difference. I was too busy! Thank heavens, OmniGod knows better than to allow me to spend the rest of my breath ignoring my heart’s cry. The thing is although OmniGod understood this dilemma all too well, this did not make it okay.

Wanna know if OmniGod really loves you? Abandon your spirit or worse, bury it under piles of distraction and before you know it pure love is gonna get your attention, somehow. Knowing when it is right to step away from the busyness of tasks or procrastination that leaves a crumble of time left just to ‘count sheep’ and say enough is very important because only when the heart is aligned with its creator’s, soul replenishes; the mind rests and renews.

All I can say is that getting to know OmniGod more intimately is very rewarding!

Daredevily Godfearing

The moment you entertained the decision to break down the mental barricade and remove the handcuff of time around your wrist, I knew you meant business; and of course, I never gave up my faith in you to follow through!

I remember how livid you were when your life fell out of sync with your heart’s desires. You were determined to make me come out of hiding. Oh the blasting I got from you! I did not mind one bit! Soon enough, you began to feel my 'presence' and 'touch', gentle like a long overdue lullaby to deeply permeate, massage and dissolve the generation of decades of deluded cells.

You were so surprised though when I allowed heartache to linger on. Now, it is no surprise that your heartache was necessary. How else could you learn to love like you’ve never felt hurt, even when you've been hurt?

You’ve been making progress ever since fear of abandonment was fierce foreman. That, I used to mirror your passion for going for gold, diamond, even platinum heaven. You did not like the possibility of going to hell, I know; however, when it seemed as though that’s where the treasure secluded itself, you dashed in headfirst with your intended purpose lodged in your heart so I can keep it secure.

I know jolly well how much your heart was hurting. I know also that you are love, lover and beloved.

No gimmicking. You are broken and bruised in all the right places to fit perfectly with the whole- a God reverencing daredevil. I know that too, because I created you so.

Yours sincerely,
OmniGod
Your Real McCoy

Making Sense of Life's Parables

I can still only imagine the speck of dust after it got trapped in the oyster; at first probably asking itself: “what business did I have to find my way in an oyster, this is no fun.” “For crying out loud”, retorted the oyster: “what good are you to me; I cannot even digest you? You are such a pain in the gut”

A strange love affair, if you ask me; yet a match made in heaven!

That is just what I was thinking in the wilderness with ghouls that frightened my mind; some even attempted to take up house, sending me scurrying right where I needed to be- in heaven’s hall!

At first I was wondering “how did I wind up there!” When I bumped into OmniGod I was like “ holy, what is God doing here…this… this... this is … this is too freaky!”

Seeds burst forth to express new life in one hemisphere, even though for some, it is just for a few months. In another hemisphere the thaw begins to blur what once was Nature’s soulful and colourful tapestry. How do such things happen?

One baby is wailing, detesting life outside the womb; another wishing it were still dancing the Macarena in mother’s ‘dark house’; some eagerly stepping into adulthood and some enjoying the sobriety of eternal sleep. I am almost certain there are some who would love to want to return and sometimes do return to guide and instruct the ones in the land of the living on how to not worry about the after life. Some like, their biblical forerunners pleaded with Father Abraham to send the redeemed ‘weeds’ to caution their fellows left on earth. Why do such things happen?

I guess this last one rings too many bells of ‘morbidity’ in the physical world that clouds the brain. I will keep the focus on the truth that spirit never dies so that seeking souls will not be stalled in the process by listening to naysayers who preach and claim that asking help of the helpers who have gone ahead to ad finitum, is playing with the jumbie’s tail.

What nonsense!

OmniGod already knows that an imprisoned soul will do anything to regain its connection with what cannot die. OmniGod looks on the purpose of the heart! In accepting this simple truth, grieving takes on a whole new meaning and I tend to not long so much for what was because it is very much what is as much as I can entertain the thought of meeting and partying with loved and dear ones whose spirits are free to dance in my mind; anguish is more tolerable, rather, it makes more sense.

True, some cause havoc; just like when the world rumbles; when hurricanes, tidal waves, earthquakes and floods do rebalance the astral sphere… just like when ‘life’s tempest rages in all around, I see…

There are things I do not yet quite understand or elucidate until the time comes to fully understand and clarify them. I have made it to the point where digging OmniGod’s intelligence is something I want to do for the rest of my days. It arouses OmniGod as much as it captivates me. A strange love affair, if you ask me; yet a match made in heaven!
Parables and miracles unveil coincidence and reveals synchronicity: life in full circle-blessings in disguise!

Just ask the speck of dust that thanked the oyster and the party the oyster threw when it realized its full potential!

This is how I make sense of life’s parables in my own gentle, humble way!

Finally!

I figure if Jesus could walk on water; and, make the wind hush, I can....
...relax and remain relax!

First, I had to learn how to. Then I learnt how to a la ma mode. Obviously, at first it felt very unnatural to breath naturally like I knew already how to.

Remembering how to required even more practise so I practised and practised and practised. Any other way was becoming darn unnatural!

I relish the dream of walking on water and shhhing and shooing the wind. Thanks to some more practise and, imagination I prevail and now I can relax without the dread of the word sneaking up on me! There are times when my shoulders would end up in cobra stance at the sound of my breath in hyperventilation mode. My muscles were becoming more callous than corned toes and soles. Damn the real threats and bless you perceived threats or was I damning the real threats and blessing the perceived threats... see, now it does not matter one bit... not much difference and a whole lot of difference! Again, honours to hindsight!

Anyway, back to the future in fast forward-rewind:
I took a long sabbatical from the discipline of mastering the act of relaxing; and I reacquainted myself with the old and familiar- hitting the panic button and setting off my internal alarm to get ready for defence at the first sense of mental barricades and much of the times the soul invaders. My stomach used to feel like a built-in roller coaster and my rib cage would cringe. Acid spewed in all directions. My shoulders were running out of its steam to reach up behind my ears as though in efforts to shield my spirit and protect my psyche from elevated cortisol attacks.
What the hell!

God? Is that you? What are you doing in hell? and, where is heaven? How do I get there?
Of course, I had already prayed that God not mind a little ridicule because taking responsibility for my choices meant that I was one on one with God at that point. I still could not understand how to best communicate with God except that I knew that I had to be honest…totally honest. Constant, stringent self-examination and accepting the personal challenges as friends made those pursuits transform to hot dates with my essence... of course I was almost out of breath by then and had better be nice to the source so I could receive free refills. Conversely, meeting OmniGod where I was at took my breath away!

The next move was inevitable- after one of those tumblers of refills of love, smooches, hugs and resting, not minding the dross and the out of shape physique, I began contemplating the benefits of breathing. That’s life itself! The trap that the grave set to catch me ran out of bait just as it thought it had me…

After one of the famous "Northeaster" zoomed in and out, the zephyr danced in. I imagine that is what happened when OmniGod breathed into Adam’s rib. Wow OmniGod!

Thank God there is no where you cannot go or be. Talk about on call and waiting!

I sprang to life and began fitting back into the Creator's original mould; at first that too felt unnatural! Nowadays, living in any other cocoon is downright unnatural.

Maybe that is what the biblical scholar meant when describing Jesus going up to the next level- celebrated as the Ascension of the Lord into Heaven.

Walking on water is an inviting fork on the spiritual path and commanding the wind of change to alter its course or reduce its velocity and devastating temper seem within reach. Doing that though, to me, is similar to wanting to remove the thorns from the rose bush; the thing is, I am also definitely convinced that there are instances when doing so is absolutely necessary. So in the end mastering the skill of knowing when to be in cobra stance and when to be like a lamb led to the slaughter stall is discernment.

Sincerely and steadfastly, (without a shadow of a doubt) walking on water and hushing the wind and living in a world of conundrum and green pastures by still waters is highly attainable and with that knowing I ground my mind and…

… I relax.

Evolving soul on the right track

Determined to take responsibility of my life was good enough reason to work on turning pain into purpose. In so doing I banished the endless rehearsing of negative experiences and the mental scripting of the future and trust myself as a child of God, the giver of life and every possible good.

The search for truth and freedom during my journey of self-discovery has most times been arduous, sometimes draining, other times reassuring.  The ironic thing is that what I always wanted is the very thing that I constantly resisted- healthy, responsible personal and interpersonal relationships even in a ‘me first and hind with everybody else’ worldly state of affairs.

In seeking to find what is the heart of the day I have to purge all illusions of what should and could from my mind and enjoy what is, what really is- the moment –a pause in time to be totally present. I open my mind and my heart to live in the moment and receive its flow of love. I renounce all thoughts, doubts and fears that this is not possible.

Consciousness shift helps to shed the burden of unhealthy shame and false guilt, hurt and pain that has been passed from generation to generation. I am continuing to find potent potions that help to peel away encrusted residue of the old layers of dross to reveal pure consciousness.

With the courage to be vulnerable and strong, an evolving soul stays on the track of what really matters.

And so it is!

Silence is golden: when; and, when not

To the innocent and naïve it translates to: do as I say, no arguments, no comments, no challenge- don’t you dare! This mind of yours will bring you nothing but trouble…you think too much. Avoidance of such ridicule oftentimes results in compliance- remaining silent (quiet) as the consent and disclaimer.

Long term and continuous application of this use of the wise and clever saying results in one’s inability to think or oneself. Helpless dependency on the imposer, or is it impostor, gives rise in force- manipulative power/servitude relationships. I refer to this form of golden silence as involuntary submission: signing your life away kind of blind resolution.

To the wise and learned it means: With eyes open wide as saucers and eager ears, know when to hold it and when to walk away, be slow to speak and look before you leap.

Consistence application of ‘silence is golden’ is the mark of a brilliant observer and listener; treading as gentle as a lamb. Vulnerable and strong; relationships are respectful, balanced/balancing, accountable and authentic.

Invoke Wisdom and the difference becomes clear!

Enough said!

Time

This most valuable asset has been encapsulated into millennium, century, generation, era, year, month, hour, minute, second, millisecond that is used as a measurement of urgency and interpretation of young, old, aged, senior, junior, commencement, retirement, fit, misfit, unfit.

It is flabbergasting how human run out of time-an inexhaustible treasure. I mean, how could anyone, and why should anyone, run out of time! I think we are running out of respect for time- the continuum that bridges one side of the breath to the other side of the breath.

Functionalism coerces the mind to behave as though the scientific clock controls life, growth and development and even confuse the biological/ecological rhythm of life with the scientic mode as if they are one and the same, thus making the quest to catch up with and imprison time, a necessity.

People spin in circles chasing time living as though the human body is some programmed/programmable gadget; some even attempt to function on autopilot. I know. I used to. I did, for many years.

Is it any surprise that the human body breaks down like some industrial piece of equipment. Fortunately for the machine- the real machines, they get replaced in a flash; maybe that is why human beings are made to think and believe that life is completely disposable.

The paradox about how one chooses to regard the need, use and want of time may have been the fixation of someone who wanted to capture the value of life/time by defining and confining time as the tick-tock of each stroke, or each blink, of the clock instead of working in tune with the rhythm of the heart.

In lieu of causing my heart to pound heavily in my chest in an effort to catch up with the mêlée that compete to define me, I use time as my inner toolbox where I can reach in for a retreat so as to reconnect , and stay connected with nature and her continues to teach me to maintain an attitude of gratitude that time is on my side as I venture to unlearn, relearn, recharge, renew, refresh, think, play, laugh, love, and practise to breath in - breathe out to the rhythm of my heart and of life… no more huffing and puffing in a race against time. Servant time reveals its master characteristics!

Imagine me learning to breathe again!

Thank God for time that never end!

Steadfast Spirit

Recalling the lingos of many hymns, songs and choruses I used to sing, shout and chant at the top of my lungs, vernaculars of vespers that I could carry a tune to that my heart and mind were trying to translate; I wonder now, why I was not more confused!

‘Though the cross be great, I’ll work for you…now, in hindsight, I ask myself for whom!
That saves a wretch like me! Moi? I am a wretch! I could not handle that one at all. It seemed to make my quest to fit in to God’s Flock, a curse
I’ll never deserve dadatdatdadt
Look with pity upon me…that’s it! pity party for the rest of my days …you gotta be joeking, I mean joking!

Memorizing is one thing; unconsented, uncontested hypnosis with ulterior motives is another.

Words in and of themselves take on a whole new meaning based on the experiencer, experiencee; in other words its origin, the speakers/readers state of mind and the grand schema of contextual diction.

Where oblivion makes it obvious to want to make people believe that ignorance is bliss and bless and not thinking for themselves is a treat of treats from the heavens, then damage of blessings is inevitable. Restoring true meaning and realigning intention with action for greatest good is evitable.

Considering the meltdown and buildup of vernacular: family- from generation to generation, culture-from region to region, religion- from denomination to denomination, social- from laws to mores, confusion is nothing new, old or in any hurry to go away; it is therefore to be used as a catalyst to wean lives and souls from the hold of the fear called ignorance and transform it to love of knowing!

That, for sure, requires a steadfast spirit to endure the tug of war-tug of peace encounters and puts back purity in polarity! Why was I not more confused!

Tunes like,
Bless the lord oh my soul
I wan to know, everybody wants to know
God is good, so good to me
Amazing Grace- yes Amazing Grace and it is well with my soul- they have taken on a whole new meaning in my schema- I guess that what meekness does!
A Mighty Fortress is our God, became chaperons and cheerleaders as needed... that's why I was not more confused!

Amen, Amen; Hallelujah- Amen… Hallelujah, Hallelujah- Amen!

Sweet Inspiration

The abundance of delectable delights which Mother God and Father Time use to infuse the daily appetite for sweet inspiration enhances it’s own true desires. The way Essence fragrances mind, body and spirit with its blend of creativity, harmony, bliss with a hint of practical challenges, is phenomenal!

Oh gentle breeze and golden sunshine, continue to tease to my soul!

I tell you, life is full of unsurprising surprises as well as suprising unsurprises and the more it spritz its aroma, the sweeter the air of inspiration!

Abundant Affluence

Rational and irrational ideas of intentions merge and the journey on the path of continued expansion of happiness continues to require the peace of mind that God had when it spoke the world into motion with the intention to use all that it breathed life into to fulfill its ongoing evolving through the turnstile of time

Tapping nature’s crotch for the crutch of courage continues to create cosmic comings of new crop. Progressive realization of worthy goals increases when the power within is how life appears to be doing just that as it stirs the mind into reality of its role of mapping the field of potential and possibility to help Nature apply its law of creation, evolution and recreation of new life

Heeding the ebbs and tides

Paying attention to what is happening helps me learn to release the need to stress over or about things that are already solved, so to speak, even when solutions are not yet obvious to my consciousness.

Heeding the ebbs and tides has been a tremendous help as I continue to develop patience, calmness, and trust in the process of life as it unfolds and I surrender the need to…

…be always brave
…be always right
…be always busy
…be faultless
…be liked
…feel indispensable
…be superwoman
…be rescue ranger
…thrill everyone all the time + the ninety more that I am still sorting through

and allow God to…

…provide all resources
…plan each programme in unorthodox style just the way I like it
…let me call my shots
…arrange the outcome to align conditions with my intentions
…do what only God can do

This is indeed a life assurance approach to live young, strong, beautiful and graceful and facilitate my body’s restorative ability after so many years of acute stress that almost infirmed major organs and viscera.
Thanks to wisdom-in all its forms- for the lessons and of understanding the importance of heeding the ebbs and tides.

When Letting God, is the way to go!

Many times people inquire about divorce they are referring to the most common usage of the implication of the term as if marital status and divorce are exclusive!

Before, I used to take offence to people inquiring if I have been through the fires of divorce. Nowadays, I tend to agree with the comment, which sometimes is an inquiry stated like a fact; and I smile!

What about the ninety-nine other indications when letting go is the healing balm that the soul need as it continues its metamorphosis. I am not referring to this as condoning the cop-out-bitter-wring-your-neck- bleed your account-milk your assets-and end you kind of altercations or ultimatums that replaces the need to stick it out and examine underlying reasons for disagreements in the heat of the moment battles... life's battles. I am talking about letting go when this is the divine choice. Life's battle will always on call and at what seem like the most importune times.

Also, the most troublesome questions reveal themselves when making such a traumatic decision, as if making the decision, was already not enough on one’s plate: how do I know it is the right thing or the best time to let go and what if I need to hold on…just a little longer...and what if…what if…what if!

Recalling that divorce is separation from anything that stands contrary to oneness of heart and soul: the God-self, I confess...

Knowing when to hold on and when to let go and more crucially, knowing what to hold on and what to let go and when I am the one to determine when I call the shots and when God alone can call the shots was my biggest ordeal of the divorce. I mean I got to the point when I threatened to divorce the source of life…go figure!

The delighter of my soul would have none of that so I knew that was a divine no-no; now what?

DABDA waltz in! And I had not even lost anyone! Still I knew that DABDA would not have come in to commence its duty if there were no reason for grieving. Who’s dead, I asked matter-of-factly?

The God who is entitled to its rightful place and true worship ignited a fire inside me as though to wake me up from my denial; and rubbish began to burn. Consummation of God amidst combustion of flotsam and jetsam was wreaking havoc.

It was long battle: refining and cremating- what a combo served in heaven and hell on the super deluxe menu!

Yum!

God knew what I was in for in the long haul so he sent me the angel of anger that helped me understand the ignorance of what was happening to me. Phew! This angel was a feisty one- I met my match!

God took over because he knew the bargaining stage was something only he can handle; needles to say, I did all the talking and God was mute, deaf and asleep. That did not stop me. In fact I felt that was a leverage to tell God off good and plenty! This was kind of my Jacob and Job moment!

Next he sent me an angel to help me deal with days when nothing made sense and the dejection of the ego’s loss in combat. Oh evay!

Then came the Jesus moment… father do you not care that I feel so without you when I need you most! Where are you? If there were a moment when I sweated blood, that was it!

Then came the haphakh

Losing transformed to winning- tears brought on new relief and new lease: I knew that this was the right time to let go, with good reason. As usual, I have been enjoying that process mostly in hindsight. Indeed where there is sorrow; there is joy and they blend well together like day and night!

Yum...Yum!

Imitating the magnanimity of Nature

I have a long way to go in mastering Nature’s nature and her poise in providing wholesome nurture for all in her realm. She’s a tough act to follow, still I want to be like her and since she is willing to be my mentor and for as long as I want and need, I am continuing to take her up on the offer of lifelong learning of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. This I know requires practise and real-time, bona fide-world experience.

The plus is that she has all the time, patience, compassion and timeouts or grace that I need to grasp her concepts and sometimes that is all she is going to oblige; well at least that is what I wish for starters- at least. The one thing I have to do is trust her and trust my myself to allow my mind and heart to open to her wisdom to assist me to hine and sustain inner strength and to not lean on human understanding since there is still some residue of tangled thoughts and mixed-up emotions in my consciousness for Cosmic Grace support me throughout its unfurling delivery to assist me with my ongoing progress of self discovery, self actualizing and tolerance- all prerequisites to live an let live and accept what I cannot change, change what is my responsibility to account for.

There are still lessons to learn about my life’s path and those life situations encasing and very much at the same time revealingy themselves as the catalyst that is helping me figure out what those lessons are teaching me. Where this has been done then I need the perseverance and endurance to continue seeing the good and seriously, I need help beyond facts, figures, forms and filling-in-the-blanks formula. There’s got to be something more! Although I did not say that out loud, Mother Nature’s keen ears picked up every muffle and she responded

“This is scary stuff! God knows that there is a good chance that mankind is afraid of (intimidated by) the way God does things, most times very weirdly if you ask me, and so this God always genuinely coaxes us to not be afraid- a factor that even his bravest warriors encountered although God prepared them to face the heat of their battle. So carry on with me my dear”

And so I hold on to Mother Nature’s hand and willing to go every step of the way with its guidance and protection. Watching the trees gloriously take on an intense workout that circulated every drop of sap to where it needs to be in time for budding days was a marvellous sight to behold.

After admiring the trees, I am even more keen on taking on the adventure!

Extremes, borderline and, in between…

Each phase of life- arriving, departing, unfolding, slowing down, speeding up, pruning, restoring, transforming, life, death, being in heaven and living in hell is a necessary part and parcel of the process.

Resisting any one of these phases is like forcing a butterfly to fly before its wings are formed or to exposing a sprout to ominous conditions prematurely or burying the grain of ‘wheat’ or ‘mustard seed’ when it is ready to break the shell and come out in the open. What’s abnormal is when one entertains the need to avoid the extremes or borderline, at all cost. The jeopardy is in lingering in anyone of these states when doing so is and of itself detrimental to the one who is doing it.

The cosmic dance is on and admission is free. There, stars shine like giant fireflies; raindrops hit the windowpane like pulsating drumbeats; thunder plays the bass fantastically, the wind screams delightfully, earth spins, lightening flashes, trees are dancing in rhythmic style and fashion, life is having a good time and none is afraid to just be!

Another message from the season!