The journey back to my Self and to my ancestral tree-house was the most daunting, ardent and alluring task I agreed to cooperate with the cosmos and let it do and complete the work it began in me.
For a long while I was like the lost sheep going daaa daaa daaa- daunting, ardent and alluring and also, there was an even more daaa daaa daaa when all the kings horses and all the kings men had more hope in putting humpty dumpty back together again
As much as I defied enough logic to boost my intuitiveness there have been many days when I could not even swallow the medicine of hope when it came to my own journey. I was always good and very good at helping someone other than myself and of course I was also good in the area of caring.
So why did I crumble!?
I was a little short on rendering that same hopefulness to my self in like measure as I was giving and the Goddess of strength had to trade her atlas ability back to the maker for new atlas and its supporting agents. I was very expectant when I recalled that it took God only three days to restore Jesus and so I waited for such a repeat miracle. The thing is, I am not Jesus and God does not do replica magic and besides Jesus’ times has long since evolved in the area of wear and tear and sadly this is contraindicative of three-day cure or any time constraint of resurrection.
I had to stop this crumbling ‘curse’ on the ancestral and Self journey and of course this thought only responded to louder daaa daaa daaa as I yo-yoed between giving up on the agreement of a perfect existence and settling for the survival of the fittest syndrome. Of course I am not one for entertaining pity party or giving up on the possibility for vying for a seat in ad infinitum kingdom. I was just not at all always ready and willing to go the whole nine yards with the whole nine yards God. That was my syndrome. The seed of stubbornness had been manifested like an old habit and was way to comfortable; still it had to be transmuted. Transcending seem a hard hill to climb when the brakes is and the daaa daaa daaa gets increasing louder.
Surrendering to the silent shove that this is the way back to where you so want to be! I shrugged as if God real in flesh and blood was getting to me and grabbing at my shoulder to have a little face to face that I outright refused to consider.
For a long while I was like the lost sheep going daaa daaa daaa- daunting, ardent and alluring and also, there was an even more daaa daaa daaa when all the kings horses and all the kings men had more hope in putting humpty dumpty back together again
As much as I defied enough logic to boost my intuitiveness there have been many days when I could not even swallow the medicine of hope when it came to my own journey. I was always good and very good at helping someone other than myself and of course I was also good in the area of caring.
So why did I crumble!?
I was a little short on rendering that same hopefulness to my self in like measure as I was giving and the Goddess of strength had to trade her atlas ability back to the maker for new atlas and its supporting agents. I was very expectant when I recalled that it took God only three days to restore Jesus and so I waited for such a repeat miracle. The thing is, I am not Jesus and God does not do replica magic and besides Jesus’ times has long since evolved in the area of wear and tear and sadly this is contraindicative of three-day cure or any time constraint of resurrection.
I had to stop this crumbling ‘curse’ on the ancestral and Self journey and of course this thought only responded to louder daaa daaa daaa as I yo-yoed between giving up on the agreement of a perfect existence and settling for the survival of the fittest syndrome. Of course I am not one for entertaining pity party or giving up on the possibility for vying for a seat in ad infinitum kingdom. I was just not at all always ready and willing to go the whole nine yards with the whole nine yards God. That was my syndrome. The seed of stubbornness had been manifested like an old habit and was way to comfortable; still it had to be transmuted. Transcending seem a hard hill to climb when the brakes is and the daaa daaa daaa gets increasing louder.
Surrendering to the silent shove that this is the way back to where you so want to be! I shrugged as if God real in flesh and blood was getting to me and grabbing at my shoulder to have a little face to face that I outright refused to consider.
Cut me some more slack here, already!
I am happy I did reconsider and have been able to humble the stone self. The God of my understanding resurrected and I arrived at the most happy trek of the journey- the trek that I tried to detour from.
It is great to be alive, and to be me-at home. What makes it even more déjà vu is that today marks 31 years since daddy left my physical world permanently and somehow it feels like he too has made his way and is now sitting at the father’s right hand. And finally resting in peace
So even physical death cannot stop the responsible parenting process to comfort and reassure a frightened child who was terrified of death or of what death and dying was doing to her ancestral tree and for holding God responsible for threatening to rot the rooting roots!
It is great to be alive, and to be me-at home. What makes it even more déjà vu is that today marks 31 years since daddy left my physical world permanently and somehow it feels like he too has made his way and is now sitting at the father’s right hand. And finally resting in peace
So even physical death cannot stop the responsible parenting process to comfort and reassure a frightened child who was terrified of death or of what death and dying was doing to her ancestral tree and for holding God responsible for threatening to rot the rooting roots!
Thank you Life for making me trust the wisdom that silent whispers when the mind shuts up! Indeed when the mind shuts up long enough, the fucked up ideas die and that is worth the Ascension into heaven permanently- a renowned trek while alive in bodymindspirit
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