An abysmal track record of right intentions competes with my courage to follow my heart and as much as it would still get me to the pathway that intersect life and living I’d rather not give up on my self ever again.
Sometimes I feel that I have lost all that I really want and although it is only a feeling that this is so it becomes totally distracting; still I continue to dissolve the pain and hurt of disappointment that brings on this woeful state of being.
The thing that always work well in gentle bringing me back to real time is, rethinking of myself from the inside out- a wild child. Everything else is secondary. This is very much possible and soul already knows that this is not open for discussion or, for grabs because it is sealed with the stamp of approval of the creator and author of my life.
the thing is I am completely or, maybe almost is the more accurate word, unrelgious as it would apply to culting as I refer to it... where the congregation itself is a prime example of segregation. not surprisingly so to me now as when I could not understand why I felt so in place out of place in the to be place. The unsurprised in those long ago days makes sense in the present state of my mind because as much as I still do not like to accept the fact is still is the fact to me anyway-the foundation of religions no matter its original and mandate is still underlying a social structure- like political government with its norm, mores and classes of isms.
the truth about me is that I was born to be unnatural; I was born to enjoy wild child experiences with the heart of a quiet warrior.This the way I want to live and this is the way I want to die because I firmly believe within myself that this is how I was born to live and this is how I must die to consider living my life to the max and, if I find out that there is in fact more to opulent afterlife and that I am not a fitting candidate then I will gladly be escorted to the hereafter walking on my head and fanning the air with my withered legs.
what's next?
I don't know
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