Emotions and its very own roller coaster ride

From pure to repressed & suppressed to tamed to polished back to pure

What a message from the Sun as it illuminated feelings that I once upon a time could not comprehend let alone act upon or act out in full awareness.

What always saved integrity is taking responsibility for my not knowing and knowing that I did not know- that in and of itself was very disconcerting because the fact is somehow I knew and I kept trying to explain what I did not need to explain; what I was suppose to feel I explained and what I was supposed to explain I felt…

I always felt at loss for a way to express what I needed when I needed and knowing when it is okay to just ponder situations in my heart and life just kept humouring me; and so I tried to humour life and death would always be ready to redeem me until life and death were both beckoning me.

It was then that I saw life as death and death as life. I thought then maybe I was feeling bazoodie from the roller coaster ride. I survived Space Mountain so I know I was not just dizzy because of gravity. So I ask earth and all that which appears as dead how they raise themselves to life and they modelled the answer

All I can do now is humour myself and life smiles and that is very easy and just the way I already knew that I like it and life likes it