Approximately one hundred and sixty months ago I developed a fear for certain foods. On second thought, I think that the fear that had been there a long time ago manifested itself fourteen years ago when sugar was labelled as the culprit of my slow metabolism. I contracted a severe allergy to life called disease.
Interestingly what was never given much airtime was the real constant state of flee/fight that ninety-nine point nine percent of the time was a false alarm and that rigged more havoc than eating a little too much starch or milk and honey or skipping a workout. Mind you, I am the main reason for all this mayhem that rollercoastered my faith in the sheer possibility of enjoying a sweet life, even with its share of suffering.
I suppose that in spite of my sprightly optimism back then, I was at war with inner self most of the time, if not all of the time. That is a battle that will definitely wear and tear any superwoman. I mean who fights God or with food and wins!
The plus side is that somewhere deep within, the place where this same war was staged, there was another equally strong combat. My spirit was making sure I lived through every minute of the ordeal until I realize that I was fighting for and against myself at the same time and I had to choose. You mean I had a choice?
Hooray, I began to take time to not just look for the enemy words on food labels and curse the people who manufactured drugs, I began a holistic self study of what I was really feeling, why I was feeling the way and the role that food played as its ammunition and what the heck my body was communicating to me and giving it the time of day to express itself in a manner for me to understand and respond accordingly.
I had to turn to the same self that I was at war with and plead for help to do things well and right. That took a few blows of God’s 2x4 humility baton and admit that I was pretending to be too small for my own good and create a God the size of the one I wanted to woo me.
Talk about a blast to the ego. That was the best choice I made and in due course I resume my love affair with food, consciously. I rest those same cares that once brought on all the unnecessary flee/fight in God's basket and leave them there.
Now I can breath easy!
Interestingly what was never given much airtime was the real constant state of flee/fight that ninety-nine point nine percent of the time was a false alarm and that rigged more havoc than eating a little too much starch or milk and honey or skipping a workout. Mind you, I am the main reason for all this mayhem that rollercoastered my faith in the sheer possibility of enjoying a sweet life, even with its share of suffering.
I suppose that in spite of my sprightly optimism back then, I was at war with inner self most of the time, if not all of the time. That is a battle that will definitely wear and tear any superwoman. I mean who fights God or with food and wins!
The plus side is that somewhere deep within, the place where this same war was staged, there was another equally strong combat. My spirit was making sure I lived through every minute of the ordeal until I realize that I was fighting for and against myself at the same time and I had to choose. You mean I had a choice?
Hooray, I began to take time to not just look for the enemy words on food labels and curse the people who manufactured drugs, I began a holistic self study of what I was really feeling, why I was feeling the way and the role that food played as its ammunition and what the heck my body was communicating to me and giving it the time of day to express itself in a manner for me to understand and respond accordingly.
I had to turn to the same self that I was at war with and plead for help to do things well and right. That took a few blows of God’s 2x4 humility baton and admit that I was pretending to be too small for my own good and create a God the size of the one I wanted to woo me.
Talk about a blast to the ego. That was the best choice I made and in due course I resume my love affair with food, consciously. I rest those same cares that once brought on all the unnecessary flee/fight in God's basket and leave them there.
Now I can breath easy!
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