Being in Canada is my haven and I have chosen to make it home in spite of the hardships of the daily business of living. It is there that I learnt life experiences, most times on my own—how? By making mistakes and hugging the complimentary resources that assisted me in making decisions on my own- by now that part was easy because I lost trust in all authority. I was authority as far as I am concerned. I went in circles. Got dizzy and decided that life experience is everywhere and where I am I am I almost got back to square one…almost.
Phew! I made more self-destruction in nine years that I am glad I did. Like Christ I broke down the temple and It took me more than threes year to rebuild but who cares. God does not calculate time like I know it in this planet. Anyway. There was no judge and the ones who played god I did not care to honour. I really do not need their burden of judgment. I had to put that in my pipe and smoke it because I was one of my worst critics. God has forgiven us all and that is all that matters. It is easier to forgive other than ones self and that I can attest to. The consolation is that little by little I forgive myself as not doing so was worst than death!
I now come to terms with the true, deeper meaning of such sayings.
I began accepting that people behaved either in ways they thought were best, or out of fear of being punished for doing what’s best. Sometimes I think they behaved out of ignorance. They were afraid to question, to reason and most of all to challenge. They were too petrified to make waves.
Phew! I made more self-destruction in nine years that I am glad I did. Like Christ I broke down the temple and It took me more than threes year to rebuild but who cares. God does not calculate time like I know it in this planet. Anyway. There was no judge and the ones who played god I did not care to honour. I really do not need their burden of judgment. I had to put that in my pipe and smoke it because I was one of my worst critics. God has forgiven us all and that is all that matters. It is easier to forgive other than ones self and that I can attest to. The consolation is that little by little I forgive myself as not doing so was worst than death!
I now come to terms with the true, deeper meaning of such sayings.
I began accepting that people behaved either in ways they thought were best, or out of fear of being punished for doing what’s best. Sometimes I think they behaved out of ignorance. They were afraid to question, to reason and most of all to challenge. They were too petrified to make waves.
That was not my reason for immigrating; I left home only to find that wherever I am indeed is home- same struggles accepted with a different attitude revealed the purpose I unconsciously yet determinedly embarked on and so far, it is all worth it!
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