Who’s that in the mirror?

Who is this powerful creature that I see within when I look at the image it reflects on the outside?
It’s me! The real person that God created me to be! My self is reaching out to me- the authenticity that not just resembles the person I yearn to be… it is me.

Many, many years ago I allowed myself to be tamed by the world’s standards and expectations as outlined by family, church, society and of course the lawmakers. I complied myself into conformity. I traded my life of glory, power, love and wisdom for a mind of insanity, a restless life, and a person who was always in conflict within.

For longer than I would like to even admit, I lived a life, not as I wanted to, but instead gave up my power to think for myself and choose for myself. My value was reduced to what others embroidered and laced with their beliefs that were systematically constructed to extinguish who I really am. I stopped living. About ten years ago I decided that I had enough of this way of living. It was not comfortable, it was not purposeful, it was not productive and certainly it was not mine.

I began having crossfire in my soul. The war between what I ought to do and what I wanted to do waged a great battle that ended taking me where I never wanted to be or go. Back then I thought that this was the worst disgrace. I took out the veil of illusions and soon enough I recognized that was what needed to awaken the giant in me or rathr keep it awake and alive. I no longer refer to my episodes as nervous breakdown. I choose to call them bondage breaker and breakthrough moments because it was at those very instants that the prison doors flung open.

The best thing I have accomplished in my life so far is releasing my self of the entrapment of conformity and compliance. It took a lot of boldness, determination, love, and childlikeness to conquer my biggest fears. Conversely, it took all my biggest fears to make me lovingly embrace fear and strip it off its shadow. It was only after doing that I saw that beneath its forcefulness is gentleness of intention.

It takes a lot of courage to persevere. I accept that some days I am a gentle lamb and other days I am a roaring lion.

I remain determine to keep the giant alive and awake.