Lemonade-making moments

The teacher shows up when the student is ready to proceed. Sometimes the teacher is available but the students is on a procrastination spree; in which case, the teacher returns at a later date or another teacher appears.

I remind myself of the many times this has happened to me and each time I said, “no more putting things off.” I have had as many reasons as the number of times I played hide and seek with my intentions even when it was obvious that I had played this game way too long. Short-term goals became long term tests.

My biggest goal has been to be an active artist. Many times I dismissed it as not quite possible and I brushed the very realistic activity aside and continued entertaining the sting of seriousness that kept nibbling my soul.

One day I asked myself when would the timing be right?

That was it!

I dismissed Procrastinator, Fear and Doubt.

I began working passionately editing and reviewing my fragmented and fullblown debriefs with Life. Since most of my poems were composed at the time when anger was spewing day in day out, I had to extract their healing balm without taking away the salvation of the message. That took a lot of effort. Life used this channel to reveal the fact that there was still scars and wounds to attend to and hence, more poems to write. Some of them reminded me of my confused state when clarity was a bit obscured. Grammar had gone out the window too.

Once the thoughts and feeling were unmangled the words began to make sense and I began to feel a bit more confident about one day opening the window of my soul and allow the flame of freedom to reignite my spirit so my mind and body can glow!

I began to gather together all my pieces of paper that I had written something that at the time did not make any sense, even to me, yet I felt compelled to jut down. Interestingly I was able to un-juggle those words until they flowed like poetry- mainly free verse and one stanza.

Writing is a talent I give full credit to for its role in restoring clarity and balance to my thoughts, emotions and desires. Wanting to earn my PhD in the passion of eslf expression was something that I somehow already knew Life bestowed me with as my natural unorhtodox style of communication with Cosmos. Because of my willingness to honour this ability, I improve the impeccability of how I use words. written exphasis helped tame the tone of confidence in my voice.

Phew!

That took a long time, gentleness, patience, uncensored self assessment and some friend’s and loved ones along the way.

I did it! Life also used this path to assist me in practising self discipline.

I know there is more to learn and I am ready to learn even more with each moment- of each moment- in each moment because personnaly I am convinced that sticking with the detrmination to grow offers room for optimal aliveness