July 12, 2009

Mythical monument

In the recent beginnings away from home I had set out with the intention to pave the way and of course decades later I had to wake up and realize that atlas was deciding to not continue to help me carry on this cross as a practical goal. I then began more recently to stop doing what I once religiously believed was God’s plan for my life. I consciously chose to stop passing on the contaminated belief that traveling to greener pastures is anymore than a state of the mind just as heaven and hell are places in the imagination.

I always sensed that one day the heart’s nudge on conscience can dissolve the queasiness of the mind and thereby encourage it to set the record straight about leaving home in search of greener pastures. Personally accepting that the delusion I once believed was the answer to dissolve the patterns of pain and suffering; toiling in tears, sweat and blood without any certain idea of when happiness will permanently return was just that and remained just that- a delusion. The more I chose to stay quiet and buckle down the more my heart pounded my brain!

The grass is not green here or there. what is richer is my comfort in accepting that I can choose to not continue to believe or encourage anyone to rely on this myth that when someone ventures out in search of inner peace and happiness and of course resource to facilitate enjoy the everyday essential personal and globally.

Decades later, I realize that giving all the money and things to even one person is still conveying the reinforcement of encouraging the mind to hold on to the illusionary hope that living is more luxurious here than there when in reality it is not and may have never been. I took the risk and shared with those entrapped in the expectation of traveling to greener pasture to be ready to face the harshness of reality and at the same time declare the truth of living away from home- it’s real source of joy and wealth is personal growth, self responsibility and willingness to accept the sunshine with the rain. The courage to stop pretending that the myth is a fact of reality from the trap of ideology is no easy practise. I have enough existential experience to validated this insight of wisdom

Of course at first it was not easy because the minds’ defense is ‘ why then are you not going back home?”

That also was a conscious choice to make where I am home because where ever I go there I am and running around the planet in search for what is already there and here is a waste of my energy and erosion of my sanity and disentitlement of my integrity and so I have ceased to justify my personal purpose on earth here, there, any where, nowhere as now here

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