Mesmerizing Messengers

Lying there on my bed of grass staring at the firmament with its array of blue hues gracefully adorned by rolling puffs and gliding layers of white crystallized water I am greeted by the ocean and sea.

The obvious stepped aside and nature’s lecture hall was draped as Ocean and sea prepared to raise the intuition of one of Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis- one of its Earth School students. I was very, very eager and excited as I attuned to hearing Ocean and sea speak to me in their driest department of Earth.

Silence smiled and its beam stretched from ear to ear and east to west.. Mind joined the session since it wanted to hang out with soul and heart.

Clouds began their story

Ocean and sea which are very accepting of how Universe inspired itself to keep them grounded in certain areas of Earth decided to create an option so they can traverse without having to disobey God’s idea of how best it can serve the whole Universe. God realized the wealth of ocean and sea acumen and agreed to invent clouds, lakes, rivers to course through Earth and figured intelligent routes so they find their way back to ocean and sea to report on their expeditions

Ocean roared and sea blasted the base of the mountain tops. This reverberate the underworld and over world and other worlds and god exclaimed. Good! Damn good and God caught itself in language appropriateness and it coyly smiled and fast forward the movie clip and said cut! Rewind

Pause



Roll along ocean, sea, cloud, river. Lake you behave like the ocean and sea to control the flow of the river and collect as much clouds as you can as they fall from by the grace of gravity. Lake ruffled its surface as it communicated its acceptance of responsibility from Ocean and sea. Waves serenely lapped up the land on the seashore to keep the ancestors aura awake and keeping the descendents integrity in tact when crashing waves rubble seismic energy to resonate with cosmic creator and creation.


God clapped and when God claps lightening responds in a manner that makes me scurry for shelter and so at eh fist clap of thunder I was off my dry grassy bed and back to my window to view the clashing of clouds and grinding of teeth.

Not after rainbow shows up in double arcs to remind God that it too is born of the ocean and sea wisdom and God said Ocean , sea show the whole wild wide world your pose and rainbow became increasingly brighter and wider. The curtain of clouds drew themselves in with a graceful curtsy. I bowed to the north. I saluted the south. I venerated the east and waved holy reverence thanks to the west then I raised my hand and I sweetly surrendered as God overrided the many obsolete scripts of limited scope of God’s power and relaxed while it softly upgraded my hard drive’s impeccability of its imagination and increased its essential essence of reality inside-out

God bowed to my heart, soul and mind

My heart, soul and mind bowed to God

Elated Exalted Emotions

Underlying cause of anxiety eroded, exploding God’s hideaway and exposed the fact that I was afraid of being unlovable and the truth that I know not how to love myself as myself and how petrified I felt because I thought that I was unacceptable to God. Those had been my biggest offences that choked God, bankrupted my spirit, massacred my mind, sacrileged my soul and battered my body.

The God I used to believe in then was uncaring and unable to redeem and sanctify me. That pisssed off to the point when my pretty prayers transformed to disdained discourse with this God

Afterall.

I had kept all the commandments delivered on Mount Sinai
I had kept all the commandments dispensed by social system
I had kept all the commandments designed by family feud
I had kept all the commandments doctrined by religious rites
I had kept all the commandments dictated by the legal legislatures
I had kept all the commandments domesticated by political promises

And,

God just kept getting more and more distant and I was more and more reluctant to believe anything everyone taught, shared, believe and trusted unequivocally. I always wanted a little something more from the God of impeccability. I had no intention of giving up or dying to find love; be love and lovable and I sure was not willing to consider sacrificial suffering in exchange for one more ounce of distilled grace laced with conditions to consummate functional features of God. That God by proxy was not in my mind a worthwhile substitute of avoiding hell or eligibility for love, approval of reward as avoidance of punishment.

So I cursed and denounced all learnt commandments. I broke all commitment to submissively obey commands and I resigned from believing. If God detest of me because of sins I never committed... I decided that if God was going to be this mean enough to suspend his love pending its verdict of judgement then his love is as illegitimate as all the laws that reinforce its existence then it is a God I can live without. The separation caused even more anxiety as I drifted along the deserted dome of earth for near a decade.

I created my own bible of beliefs and that’s when my sin came in full view- I had forgotten that I was already love and lovable and God was waiting for me.

I no longer feared that God will take my dreams and talents away as I thought it use to take away all near and dear; and my supper, my heart’s desire of passionate living and loving, my joys; my full freedom. I spoke out loud to the God that could attest to my innocence and its innocence stating that if I were being disciplined it would have to be of legitimate cause. That God heard me loud and clear. All the punishment that gave me identity, personality and character disintegrated and the God who was listening to my sullen spirit began reconstructing the landscape of imagination, reinforced its foundation and erected new rods in my DNA and roads on the map of my mind and since I was still alive after all this then I agreed that this is the God of my making who first made me.

Loving myself on God’s terms is becoming more and more practical. Old patterns of conditioning dissolved when God directly dispelled my anxiety and created even more room in my awareness of what God deems to remain important- God tops the list. Guilt, fear and their close and distant relatives have been erased from my emotional bank when God used it eraser to permanently void their marks and stains

Letting go of senseless struggles

Dismantling constructed concept once cemented with concrete of confusion required a demolisher made of patience and humble help from handy helpers and holy hunches

For a while I kept counting my pennies and saving up on wit as I hoped to one day afford such necessary essentials without the life-term debt disclaimers dangling in my pocket book

Then one day the thought of being an Earth Life student pop up just like a sprout waiting to meet the sun to feeds it so it can release its creative power and experience expansion, growth and manifestation of its existence. I immediately made an agreement with the source of faith of this wee little oak tree next to the reed and the reed not fearing that this is an oak tree!

Were it me, I would wonder what on earth is God doing! Not the reed; it began to flirt with the wind while the oak is working out is muscle waving its gentle giant branches.

I figured the same energy that supplies for these species of creation can do that for me too! Come what may, I planted my seed in soil of thought and sprinkled it with whatever faith I had mustered in the deal of risk or no risk with Life. Night and day I kept poking in my consciousness to see what was growing in the forested garden of intelligence- reeds of resilience and acorns of affluence ready for the wind and storms to strengthen their spirit as they aim for the sky. The rain and sun enriched the soil of determination with temperance

Life managed the details and I managed my integrity and renew my agreement to honour this lifelong contract

Sustainable sanity

Seeing situations through my own perceptive, intuitive understanding and knowing, without dismissing that how I interpret reality is only one myriad of millions of opportune ways of analyzing common concepts and fragmented features of the universal entity is becoming my definition of normal. Realizing this fact reveals the personal projection of what is normal to me, has always been normal to me and after all examination and inspection the conclusion I am right back where I started when I believed that something-- omit that--everything was wrong with me only to discover that nothing was ever wrong or wrong with me or about me.

Something deep inside me is again full dreams and visions; full of desire to dream and envision the skill of the will as an infinite source of strength that makes the perplexity of adversity simple and loaded with opportunities of optimism.

And I am normal

When the cold shower feeling; the fluttering of butterflies in my gut and the throbbing of my heart tantalizes the mind I feel more ready to proceed when Life whisks me off to another realm of adventure that otherwise would have made me question my inner strength

Acknowledgment and gratitude; knowledge and wisdom all add to the bachelor degree of experience; a masters of personal thoughts and emotions with a PhD in living, being and doing refreshes my perspective and expands my perception- Life’s way of sustaining the human spirit

Finally I can appreciate the felt sense that I am growing and developing authentically- normally. Grateful that all the cares that once tormented my sanity slip away making me feel like a baby in the arms of Life and the universe

That which needs changing and that which never needs changing are becoming more apparent in the moment that I need to discern the facts of life. Forgiving, accepting and loving the part of me that changest not and enjoying the parts that continues to change is becoming the cause of everyday celebration of me. The more I understand Life and myself the more luscious I feel about being the person I am and the more trust and confidence I entrust in Life, the more Life trust me and increases my confidence in it

Creature of choice

When a brain with PhD in oops; Masters in resilience; Bachelor in relapse realizes it is no accident of Adam and Eve, it swiftly removes the restraining order of happenstance. Circumstances take on new stance; ideas spark and sparkle to reveal cosmic conditions fully loaded with the necessary ingredients to design, create and generate the kind of day with much anticipation to exist today and make it through to another tomorrow manifesting its nowness in its own howness

The intuitive inquisitiveness quality of the brain about the great mystery continues to reveal fascinating and embellishing visions and dreams of reality that keep me intrigued with Nature and all its creatures. My unyielding aim to nail life down so I can uncover its many facets that seem determined to keep its treasure hunt a delightful hideaway of surprises entices and invites me to explore within myself more and more

Not knowing for sure

There I am at the ‘know-it-room” of Life and there is still much I know not for sure
Compelled by strange and sometimes irrational thoughts that somehow is full of possibilities of good potential

Undisturbed by the pressure of time the resurrection of self-love and curiosity encourages me to take the chance to make a constant commitment with Life unrealizing and unrecognizing of the immediate or future impact of the risk involved.

Trying to force one’s self to be brave all the time buries the soul’s sincere desires. Pretending to know it all is defying reality and denouncing my curiosity and wanting to know for sure beforehand is the deadliest risk of all

Courage to fearlessly carry on alongside the fangs of frustration and fury of force lift and lilts the human spirit making it more and more accepting of taking the ride with Life. Supported by all the previous experiences that have enabled me to make it thus far on the road of no return, endless exchange and unlimited warranty continues to expand and grow. Knowing that not knowing for sure is beginning to make perfect sense to my understanding of Life, I said ‘I do’ with a strong heart and determined spirit and continue to astound myself.

Life continues to validate its guarantee and unstatic is most ecstatic when I agree to admit when I know; when I do not know; when I know for sure and when I have no idea that I know or know for sure; not know or not know for sure. In this ever-changing moments in time it is good to know that I do not have to know everything for sure in order to trust Life or prove that I am knowledgeable. Knowing that Life is good and that I am good is a very good

Spellbound Silence

Frankly, sometimes I do not know whether I am coming or going; all I know is so long as Life and I are one I am willing progressively cruise along with Life

The reverse, forward, up hill, downhill, manoeuvres on life’s bewildering slopes of dry days and narrow valleys of slippery seconds makes me smile, cry, hold on tight, laugh, let loose, frown, exquisitely explore, inquisitively inspect at the pure potentiality of each day I commit to take the necessary steps to just be while allowing Life to add the unexpected

Negotiating curves and corners of life’s journey requires taking the risk of travelling through the unknown territory of its path. Sometimes I am explicitly unaware of what Life wants of me and implicitly certain that I know what I want from life yet there seems to be some clash or another with the demand of the time and my anticipation of gratification from Life

Inspiration, intellect, trust, courage and fearless fear of endurance are familiar road maps with expert directions, fresh ideas, refreshed purpose, new perspective, renewed zest…palpable panacea of enjoying rendez vous with determination, perseverance and patience. All I can agree to do during this spell of quiet is sit in Life’s wagon and enjoy the respite of tranquility. What’s most rewarding and reassuring is that the mind is along for the ride.

From believing to knowing

When believing feels like it was an act of no action, life situations grew and grew and the mind got more and more pessimistic about Life manifesting anything other than more thoughts and ideas and dreams and visions

It is like the tyres of a four wheel drive stuck in sludge in the middle of nowhere and now here on unexpected terrain. This is a very frustrating fork of the road to stay put even when there is all sorts of aid that are of little help when the road is slick and miry. And somehow there ought to be some way to get out of the rut; and often there is. Out comes the sun which I hardly noticed until oncoming traffic alerted me that the road is dry, safe and the visibility is perfect. I have the choice to proceed in any direction. So what was I waiting for!

The fact is, the creator and Life are proaction and practitioners and like ants and bees in summer; snow and fog in winter; rain and shine in spring; and wind and bright colours in fall. To imitate Life means to gain knowledge about right conditions and gauge right timings and open to all possibilities including risking losing everything and gaining plenty then make a decision and be willing to take full responsibility for loss or gain. This was God’s most vague and all well known paradox to my mind

Still, an actionary visionary always imagine big and willingly to follow through- just like the God of Life who created form into being

That requires a lot of gut training on clear objective and wisdom; I need all the wisdom and knowledge on how to always make the right choice, at the right time- always responsibly; therefore I enrol in the full-time course of unveiling paradox so I can better understand the signs of the times from Life's point of view

Foretaste of ecstasy

In hindsight, those long wilted nights and short witless days turned out to have been preparation for many moments of lesson in trust, compassion, self love and of self-confidence

Finding a well that provides a rich repository of resources was a lot of digging within where the best repertoire was already creating new groundwork for building a new theatre in the frame of the mind. Since this reconstruction intended to be much bigger and grander than the worn-out foundation the mind had to be prepared for the expansion. Well honed defenses had to be demolished

All the probing and propping; testing and tugging which I once detested as Life’s way of answering all my prayers was more like a permanent penance platform for repeating failed attempts after attempts

Those tears that blurred my eyes and stained cheeks were the spring showers of the heart and the sometimes floods of the soul

All the curses mixed with thanksgiving tributes to all that has happened between each death of every moment were the building blocks that I am now decorating with heartfelt gratitude

With these facts in mind I am willing to celebrate each anticipated answer to prayer

Life’s idea of real-time living

Rehearsal and exploration of adventure and fantasy continuously fans the fire of enthusiasm, creativity and problem solving for real-time living.

Discovery and expansion of mindfulness and insightfulness helps in assessing my skill level of monitoring the progress and development of the mental power to time the leap and manage change until the mind becomes familiar with the hallmarks needed to become an expert according to comprehensive and contemporary reality testing. It was like I had to accept the decision I made with Life by renewing my agreement to take the risk of trusting that Life can resuscitate all my dreams.

First though, I had to enter the vault where all the reams of dreams and visions were resting and waiting. Dreams waft in creation creativity chamber awaiting the propitious moment for birth began to surface to the brim. Back then, mentally and even spiritually I was not as quite the 'believer' of answered prayers and so when Life realized how long it might take me to fully know for sure and not just entertain the I 'believe' stuff- which I always used to powder with "in vain" as a sentence completion never smelled sweet enough to be a prayer- I found myself at the fork of the ready-or-not junction of knowing fro sure. I know that I wanted to know for sure that Life can do what it tells me it can do. And already I had a history of too many Y and T accidents with Life. Giving Life the right of way require obedience level that was still growing into the maturity in which I needed to time the conditions before I did the pass so that Life’s orders made sense.

A sense of mental clarity that helps me manifest all my dreams in a conscious manner that adds just as much and in some cases in more subtle concrete convincing ways that create, grow, generate and expand more profound trust in Life’s way of blooming my reams of dreams and visions into full fruition that continues to keep the heart open and the mind receptive to re-establish the ability to share even while still healing

A higher level in a more detached perspective sure does help to make a practical decision so that all my dreams can come true and some of the coming true is what I call acceptance of what I had to adapt to doing on Life’s terms

Yet another fork of the road

The mind and spirit toggle between facts and proof that makes little sense to perception and adds a lot of meaning to perspective and purpose. When life provokes the heart to irritate the mind wonderful visions and dreams birth from the most parabolic presentation

How else can Life sustain my enthusiasm other than this tug and pull of testy, trying of the mind? How else can the mind support itself from ignorance and spare itself from the tyranny of feeling suffocated by unsolicited emptiness of expectation
How else can soul rest in peace rolling backwards in time as life’ way of fast forwarding the mind and all too well the mind knows this is a ready or not signal that serenity is ready to take mind on new adventure of more adventure and exciting venture of new adventure.

Putting panic in perspective dissolves the constant unnecessary use of flee/fight instinct; replacing the need for needless panic with pure insight to trust that when prevention and proaction meets mind can feel either confused until all makes perfect sense or relieved that it has new risking ability that does not require old patterns of coping to keep it alive

The mind is becoming a very excited ghost without the yoyo of nervous excitement and the heart is pumping up with oomph without the galloping factor

Each new is new

June 19, 2009
Each new is new

Getting up to greet a new day is a lifelong affair between birth and death. What is inside this day is a déjà vu that makes Life no longer a big mystery. Of course apprehension still lurks around on the playing field of the mind’s holy ground waiting for a dark night on a bright day when mind is out on a limb. Still, an empty slate and a little left over resource from yesterday all ready with fresh opportunity to start over, or continue to build and rebuild the mental filing system is very possible and available- a plot defined and designed by life to make room for infinite organizing power to rearrange its ability so that invisible becomes visible

CHO rearranging the molecule to create a variety of chemical responses to reactivity to access maximum use of energy so Life presents practical problems and also provide suitable solutions to make living to its fullest an optimal requirement thereby integrating body soul with the intangible innate being of spirit mind

Right mix of matter for creating energy to combust all particles of perceived obstacles is always an endless rendezvous with Life. Once I RSVP Life to say Yes I am in with you on this date, the reality of the situation at hand becomes clear the ability to process available options to help with decision making that leads to right course of action looking up at a big wide sky full of stars

Final analysis?

Accepting that Life is ongoing and time is infinite and that celebrating things as important as life means it to be is all there ever is, I am without a clue how else to successfully arrive at a point when celebration comes to an end

A sense of humour and shifting grounds of certainty makes for a merry moment when topsy-turvy teeter totter swings in my direction at grandfather clock’s pendulum speed and life still goes on, time continues and things to celebrate continue to show up

So how can I arrive at a final analysis?
There is no final analysis!

I can hardly hold down life long enough to conclude a thesis on reasons to celebrate, let alone to summarize a final analysis on why else I am here other than to celebrate Life
And I really doh wanna bother with trying to have all of Life all figured out way in advance anymore before I actually begin to fully celebrate each creation of fresh starts

Who I Am

Describing the individual that I am on a subconscious level transcends personal fears and flaws; reveals talents and personal potential; sustains inner desires and manifests its higher calling in the most unorthodox ways. That odd quality can make who I think I should be or could be or must be as contradictory and complex as secret fears, hopes and fantasies that represents the mysteries of illusion.

Life situations-"food for the soul"- reveal secrets of instructions to help me understand and live up to the ethical measure of who I am on earth in this lifetime. When soul opens up it defines what causes it bloom. Following where my heart and gut-instinct lead me in life makes me thrive, rather than just survive.

Being the intuitive soul with many questions that can only be answered through exploration, observation and experience, I resolve to remain receptive to the rich tapestry of life situations and love of adventure to expand my ability to see all points of view. That in turn awakens the gentle giant and animates the daring spirit that would otherwise be as good as lifeless.

I therefore continue to allow cosmic timing, intelligent insight as well as revelry rhythm of my heart to inspire and support me in ways that I can be in this world and live with integrity

Increased Harmony

Matters of the heart and soul become equally on par with matters of the mind when human intellect let go of the need to mask real prospects. When the mind transcends its harsh inner critic, all thought and philosophy of defying; defending; justifying or judging personal principles become a catalyst for creating harmony. Choosing up sides on the planet then becomes as unnecessary as indicating the part of a circle that is round

Each idea is like a piece of a puzzle or link of a chain or points in a circle. Negate one idea and the whole objective of putting the puzzle pieces together falls apart; the chain breaks and the circle is not a circle anymore.

Incorporate each idea appropriately and the mind cannot choose-up sides- it cannot fathom leaving out one piece of a puzzle, one link of a chain or one point of a circle

So too, every life situation and every channel of contact is necessarily presenting the practical lessons to successfully conduct everyday affair of living one’s best subjectively and objectively

From rip-off to payoff

When wisdom presents its message with the bold heading ‘ transcribe as it is’ I know it is on behalf of the real McCoy therefore I follow instructions to a t. I did not vie for the position or have to study to become qualified. Life knows all to well what it took to make me accept its gift of prodigy.

For many years I thought God and its puny little consolation prizes I had to work my ass off to make something of, was a rip-off. Many years later though I realized that life situations were actually to prove otherwise. Repeated lessons from Earth School presented me much firsthand learning on full worth of the gift I kept handing back to Life- giftedness already presented to me long before I arrived on earth.

Learning those lessons and accepting their messages and my giftedness- a great payoff of pricelessness

Life sometimes present me with ideas scattered in a way that makes a ceiling fan turned on at high speed in a room of fluffy feathers and cotton more inviting. In an instant the ideas shake and rattle the brain, soothes soul and settles the heart all with a stroke of genius and wisdom goes… wow! Words of wisdom are sometimes mild as hot sauce that can be used as eye drops on a humid day and there are times wow are so hot it can melt a glacier in mid winter

I work well when ideas that make stale semantics come alive and fresh with perspective to use reality and imagination that make life essence sizzle with meaningfulness, even a little robotic, when necessary

The working of wisdom swiftness of productivity and no-speedy-Gonzales schedule means there are no punch-clock breaks that make the possibility of nature’s push button a no-no during working hours. There is always the pause for synchronized breathing until the body mind spirit resumes its naturally relax state of pure concentration

Now that is my idea of payoff from the real McCoy

Parenting à là Divine Style

Dad wriggled out of constraint corral and freed his spirit from the limitation of form on April 10, 1978 without me knowing him as a child ought to know its Father. This crusted an indelible mark on my consciousness when I was constantly told reminded and even reprimanded to trust God like a father. How do I do that? This question landed me in purgatory and the graveside to find how. As if not allowed to communicate with him was not enough I was not allowed to cry when I was told that the person who was scorned for being himself, was now en route to heaven. Talk about messed up brain washing syndrome. Thank fully God is God and the teaspoons of care that I receive from Daddy before his moving along was enough to help me create my own life.


As life situation mangled my internal wiring and confused my signals with inferences. Parenting responsibility seem a circuit that was so faulty it was blistering my brain. I did not know who I am; where I came from; and why I am here on earth at such a time like this. Mother continues to parent as she know how to. I now wonder if she ever grieved her husband’s death at such a tender state of existence, or whether she just kept silently remorsing and mulling over the endless reasons about God and what happened did not happen, or what happened. Much of this answers and facts remain safely in science of wonder world.

Mother wriggled out of constraint corral and freed her soul from the physical and mental limitation of unlived unhappiness on April 28, 2009. I know of her and a little about her. I do not know much to paint a picture to confirm her wholesome identity- something that made lash at life for how I had to develop my self without much of a sketch of guidance on how to.

Anyway considering the story of salvation, as it was passé don to them and then leaked in to my consciousness while soul was resting peacefully and at time restlessly in limbic land, I am happy to encourage them to do what they are now able and very willing to undertake responsibly in a manner that neither physical death not an empty tomb can harangue them as they take parenting to a whole new level- in heaven right here on Earth.

Much of what was suggested as ways to use my talent to attain acquired success and my space in heaven contributed to the agony of a fallen angel and doubting devil. I reclaim inherent heredity and mind-mending mastery recovered my soul’s status, which were stolen by well meaning god servants who buried me long before I was of age to know myself as I now know myself enough to severe the prolong hello goodbye of hell on earth.

Fountain of youth rejuvenates my mindbodyspiritsoulether with unposioned parenting of esoteric purity- a reality that helps me account for my very own chromosomes

The I-knew-it moments

When the comfort zone breaks free from the dependency attachment to familiarity, the unexpected and the beyond control remove their mitote. Nothing is ever the same again

Journeying in to the unknown becomes fabulously familiar with unfamiliarity and the mind is perfectly okay with this bedazzled phenomenon. What once scared the living hell of the hell living in the mind makes sense and mind is full of wonder and relieve

Mind exclaims its newfound liberty
I knew this is possible… I knew it is possible to be free of the burden of familiarity and terror of uncertainty!

I just knew it!

Life is a journey of adventure into the unknown

I knew that too!

The grind of glitches

When mind used to do all the talking, getting the right information straight from the heart was full of static. Conscious choosing can be chronically chaotic when relevant and appropriate discourse kept sealed in secret domain throws mind and heart for a loop and sometimes only God knows why

Therefore, trusting the heart’s hunches is a winning choice of accurate accounting and disclosure of spoken and spoken messages strongly needed to make it through the daily grind without desperation pouncing all over in the mind when it doesn’t know what to say or wants to withhold what it wants to share.

Heart already knows that and intuition always somehow present facts straight and in the knick of time and when it chooses to not give the information without a challenge it makes the right connections through curiosity, investigation and very frequently through slip of the tongue and being at the right place with ears and listening fine-tuned and minding one’s business once upon a time concealed data is unobtrusively offered or received.

Still trusting that heart hunches are kosher can reveal more than what talk, assuming or prying can offer. That explain why the ears needs the heart and the heart does not always rely on the ears, or any of the senses for that matter, to transmit its messages and signals

Listening more than talking or knowing and not talking can be sometime and somewhat challenging.

Available and attentive to listen profoundly to the heart in a world that is constantly buzzing with bedlam requires more than hearing talk, calls for stillness- the kind of stillness that can be as quiet as a feather or cotton ball drop or resounding like a fire alarm alerting a stage five fire; the most terrifying silence is when situation presents a curve ball that make spirit take over the steering wheel of will without arguments from the mind. The cold shower feeling like a breeze blowing inside me is always an inviting kind of silence for me; and, the easiest signal to recognize and thoroughly enjoy straight from the heart

Growing groans

The mind is attempting to rekindle its naughty addiction of procrastination. The heart is all too familiar with this habit of apprehension of the calm before the storm and the calm after storm that comes alive before new levels of risking.

Here I am going through the activity of encouraging the mind to stop wanting to put memories back in the ‘for a better date or more convenient future’ pileup. What a blast to help coach the mind to commemorate the death, burial and resurrection of vivacious living of childhood dreams. Instead of arguing and even agreeing with the brainmind that now never seems to be the right time; I gently reminded it that there is no better time than the very moment that life situations crops up. No more saving this, that, or the other for working on whatever it is that pops up when it pops because I need to address those scars and blahs until I completely finish the business with revolving around and around past conditions and as it knows now there’s no time like the present because this is all we have and always have.

When something from the past re-present itself, instead of responding and reacting in the same old pattern that was previously deeply embedded in my conscious, I invite the wisdom of insight to guide and direct me to the purpose of the event as it applies in the current moment of flashback by allowing the beacon of light to reveal pure insight of life lessons from these very events. My refurbished goal is to master this skill until it becomes the first point of attention, intention and action. I know that this requires constant mindfulness and is also an art worth aiming for so I continue to encourage and assist the mind to grow; and, groan if it must

It is wonderful when mind, spirit, heart, soul do a group hug as the pact of ‘right on!’ Recapturing missed messages and discovering lost lessons, untrapping inert energy as well as unmasking mix-up interpretations helps me tap into archives of mental resources from time immemorial.

Dialogue with the trees

I find myself with a congregation of trees quite often and always I stroll away with a message that makes leaving the assembly a walk in holy reverence… with holy reverence

I once asked Trees how they bear Nature’s elements and accept it so resiliently

They waved their branches summoning me to enjoy the sudden yet well-timed breeze with them. It was as if there was an invisible orchestra waiting to serenade me with answers

…these trees… I pondered

The invitation was so compelling I was not anymore concerned about my intended schedule then, nor ever after; neither have I been so obedient in life thus far...

I tell you… these trees

There is one elder that has grown in wisdom. It has only one branch alive. The rest of the branches stick out in the air with such integrity it made me just stare in space for a very long while- speechless. I watched birds make their happy landing on dead branches still with much purpose. These creatures of flight pause long enough to perform a hymn of praise to spring with a gratitude that herald summer and thanksgiving to Life for preparing a live stage on which to perform their rendition. Needless to say, the first time I met with this tree, I felt a surge of new meaning for enjoying Life term’s- not being less than I can when doing more become unimportant. Making a special trip to this tree is since then becoming a ritual. So many more lessons ahs been learnt from this silent offer of wisdom

As for the pines with some of their branches choosing to grow right through the fences it made me strong in times I too, needed to burst through the walls of adversity. I felt like I was receiving a medal straight from Life just when I was about to wonder aloud if life ever gives diplomas and degrees for high calibre triumph of tough times. The tree was so in tune with what my mind was thinking and my heart was feeling that it understood my attitude of gratitude- it curtsied in like appreciation of my honouring its message and was grateful that I took the time to watch it and actually be one with it and learn from it

There is one that provides shelter and a pit stop for nurturing; the first time I set eyes on it I thought wow this one seem to have lived its years. A few days later it was waiting for my presence to witness my shortcoming- I underestimated the tree's appearance. The tree was just patiently waiting its turn to receive new leaf of life. I was stunned at how tree of seeming dry twigs sprung to full being in time for my first picnic of rejuvenation. That was not just an ah moment it was an om moment or rather the beginning of many om and ah moment with this tree full of life

And to celebrate my making time to attend class fully-attentive that day, at Earth School’s silent request, Flowers fragranced me with sweet aromas that still lingers on just like all the lessons that Trees has taught me and continue to teach me in a whole new way each day- how great it is to be alive and feel life’s force flowing in and through me just like it does in the trees

The can that reminded me of what I can do

I am sitting here reminding myself or myself reminding me of the time that I ripped an empty can of club soda- cap, lid, bottom and all to shreds with my bare fingers after enjoying its content and how thrilled I was at how easily I made aluminum seem like paper. The confidence with which I nearly melted the can with very little effort was symbolic of how to dissolve limitations of the mind of what I can and cannot do.

How could I have known that upon drinking the club soda with such composed sense of appreciation for the thirst quencher that I would just begin to tear the can apart and without any doubt of possibility calmly accomplished the task as if it was somehow premeditated or at least, the normal thing to do with an empty can of club soda. It was as if the can challenged me to end its feeling of uselessness, now that it is empty; and I did!

After meticulously pinching each piece of aluminum to place in the recylce bin, I then welcomed the full content of the can's message- that the can was representative of whatever was gnawing at and secretly emptying my tank of joy. Who would have thought the lesson a can was intended to teach me and to help me use its availability to quietly and determinedly overcome the uneasiness of the mind when it is not busy doing, and feeling strange when it is. This was definite evidence of invisible intelligence posing as a can of club soda to remind me that there is nothing useless to Life

Wellspring of Identity

Mental movie making from memories of what one should have or could have, can and cannot do and have can camouflage the directors’ good intent of every event and their potential good sometimes never gets past the mind stage. Unaccepted thoughts and denied emotions can wreak the studio of the pristine production or reproduction when past becomes present, again.

To make a masterpiece production the new presentation of the old show based on experiential recordings focuses on facts and the message of the mistake or the lesson transcended thus the past showing up again as a new present can self correct the director’s good intent. Identifying with the whole event is then good movie material with pure substance that adds immeasurably meaning to life and creates miracles beyond wildest imagination

Self-love is the most authentic gift of Life and I intnd to nurture and accept its production of increased self worth

Proactive

Modern medicine and nutritional diets or even gestalt methods do not always have the all what is required to formulate the right potion or exact diagnosis to deal with the invisible and often unknown symptoms of chronic and or acute disease to address the underlying cause which require treatment designed to treat each person as an entity, in that regard.

Emotional purging restores harmony more than abstinence from nourishment
Deep breathing in and full exhaling of breath does more wonders in restoring fitness than consistent vigour of intense physical exercise
Slowing down adds more efficiency to well manage the asset named time

Mindful awareness of the true nature of heredity goes past legal will of estate and personal property. Soul lessons and spiritual growth that needs to be learnt and developed continue to be passed on, more than genetic tissue of sperm and egg.

Inviting levity and play with one’s inner child can lessen emotional pain of grief, regret and disappointment of what could have, should have, shouldn’t have and much more deeper wounds some of which were ignorantly passed on from generation to generation and absorbed innocently from lifetimes of generation upon generations

Much positive and productive progress can be made on the healing journey of restoring healthy PMESS and reduce or eliminate the peril of being a patient or person when it is clear that there is more to life than machines of modern testing to prove this and reveal that without any diddle-squat idea of the patient except through long rap sheets of history of family-they-do-not-know-about other than the common fact they left behind or passed on disease through faulty genetic makeup which medical cosmetics cannot cure

The commitment to sustaining optimal wellness comes with a lifelong warranty and no guarantee quick fix. Doubt, fear, skepticism of healthy longevity sometimes gets in the way of trusting the flow of the prescription of the soul’s pharmacy about ways to assist it live long and healthy and wise. Still, instead of succumbing to all this, Life can willingly assist according to each person’s illness by intuitively sustaining the body’s ability to repair itself.

Working along with a professional medical practitioner of personally preference can continue to be a practice of choice where Dr. Me and M.D are both willing to attend to the entity and not just to discover disease, alleviate symptoms or prescribing a cure. Mutual respect for each person’s integrity, knowledge and expertise make it possible to trust each one’s role in the protocol for healing with or without drugs, or referring to useless logs of past history on human interpretation of disease

The rhythm of life

Floating in the ocean called Life with no need to grow old or fight time- just simply keeping on growing and learning from every experience all the way through life aware that I am progressing at exactly the right pace for me I journey onward where several new horizons beckon to enjoy living in an unprecedented personal style

Progress has not always been fast, smooth or steady. Waiting for the right wave is an art worth mastering. Perseverance indicates significant growth since I enrolled in Surfing 101 syllabus in Earth School

Getting in and staying in touch with the life force and flow of energy for the welcomed challenge required much relaxation-and-trust exercises. Strengthening my understanding of intuition and knowing that I already know that the heart is unwavering were also refresher lessons of importance. The core theme of ongoing subject matter had been Treating MindBodySoulSpirit Lovingly All The Time- a seminar that kept me repeating the basics and many-a-time sending me back to baby waves level. Granted, that was a par above the beginners tide; still to advance to wild waves froth I had to grow to full self acceptance- a goal I was determined to keep my eye on while catching each wave with grace

Knowing firsthand from Life that I can at anytime and every time enjoy the bliss of wild wave surfing was fuel for staying the course. Advancing to this level of acceptance has been practical and consistent

Waves of adventure and the wind of change have been and continue to create the perfect setting for applying the skills of surfing the rhythm of life with sustained confidence and courage

Undisguised disguise

I have spent a lot of time trying to spot the saint in me and denounce the devil I am until this made me just say “heck with the lot”

According to my interpretation: Daredevils are bold saints and saints are shy daredevils.

Daredevils defy beliefs that claim their existence to be mistakes waiting to roast in hell after the body dies. Many minds trapped by dogmas create saints roasting in hell- alive.

Most two-legged creatures fervently and with determined diligence courageously embrace the challenge to choose how to live each moment in the moment even when food, shelter, transportation seem like nonessentials for optimal existence

I am a daredevil who sometimes behave like a saint and that is because I can be either or both dependent on circumstances. That settles the argument each time the brain wants to label character and reputation; neither of which personally matters anymore, not even to the mind

Harvest of a Healthy Heart

When King David was killing bears and lions he had no public applaud or even much awareness how God was going to use his skills for much grander performance performed publicly. Yet God had already declared that the slingshot shepherd and songwriter of holy high hallelujah mingled with lamentation is the one; so when it was time for David to show what he’s got- courage, good aim and poise the private audience was not sheep or bears or lions- it was a soldier with all the protection his army provided, none of which was enough to save Goliath or scare David. David was confident the God who save him from the lion and the bear and gave him the courage and strength to attend to his sheep was not about to fail him now that he was assigned the task of saving a nation.

Life has its way of making its plan supersede my human ideas of compassion and grace- qualities that help the heart heal much better than any prescription or diet. I had no clue how God as I understand God would use a gregarious introvert whose heart is exposed to the freedom of reality and unhidden from the slavery of utopia somehow always manages to enjoy the moment. I have to hand it to Life for breaking down the callous plaque of emotional buildup and the courage to allow my heart to continue to give and receive the very qualities that I keep polishing and polishing and polishing using the practicing tools I call everyday life situations, as perfect fertilizer. There were moments and long periods when I felt like it is a waste of time; I figured heck with time. I would rather lose to Life than to waste energy fueling the fears of time or pain of memory. Letting the heart live in hiding and then calling it stupid is a waste of time and of energy. I did not want to keep doing that to a very good heart. God already knew that!

Like David- King David I can boldly declare that the God that resuscitate me from the tempest that was twirling in the recess of my heart is showing me how vulnerable strength and enthusiasm can produce gentle power, compassion, grace and humility through diligent determination and ongoing practise yeilds much more of what it sows in ways that only Life knows, and can

On Life’s terms

Emptying the heart of sentiments and leaving emotions intact was at some points the most reluctant task I had to undertake. When it came to salvaging mind stuff; that also posed a lot of trouble complying with the letting go process. Life had to intervene; making some moments feel like forever in the fire with the Burning Bush in Hazy Hell

And it is as if that was not agonizing enough, Death decided those were perfect opportunity to butt in with lessons and practises on dying as being more than when a body or parts of it conks out; this did everything except help the grope of grieving in a way that make it okay to unattach and that is going to as far back as the moment of my birth when Life sends Death as the escort leading the path of continuous hellocherio

Maybe that is why sudden death is such a blow to the soul and wake up call that even planned or inevitable departing doesn’t always seat well in the mind. Still I must admit that those opportunities to discourse the end of attachments help dissolve the need to hold on to regret and at the same time encourages me to savour every interaction. It is like commercial advertising of supplies while it lasts-only better; because even though the supply doesn’t last its quality improves with each moment of memory lived, enjoyed and appreciated remains happily ever after in the idyllic chambers of heart and mind where they are safe, undisturbed and readily available to be relived and even rebirth. That has been the best lesson Death taught me on holding on and letting go on Life’s terms thereby making living on Life’s terms more acceptable although still not unchallenging especially because I want Life to let me die on my terms

Liberation

The freedom that human is racing to sought after is itself the cause of all the discomfort it tolerates

Just the awareness of this fact is enough to liberate the mind of the need to believe that relying on someone who is also relying on someone and someone else who in turn is relying on some source to fulfill the utopic dream is an unfathomable ridiculous route to attain inner peace that is already available to enjoy

Hard times still bang away right alongside good times guarantee.

Sitting under the bodhi tree undisturbed, is still an available option and so is hanging on to a cross

The choice to be free and remain free inside out is also always available and this is very liberating

Wanting what I already have

I was about to haggle a deal with life one more time when God stormed in, quietly cleared its throat- as if that was necessary- stared at me through its nostril full of new breath and expecting me to proceed with the absurdity with daring Life to do what life is doing every day

I continuously renew you, and you want what?

The fact is, spirit is right. The cells that were just there are no more and what I am wanting I already have. The fact is this body has new ability and comes with conditions that make prevention better than cure an everyday medicine that it continually adapt to and life wants me to trust that Life can use me- transforming and all- to create and cocreate on Life terms and so I cease the argument with Life on what I can do when I am already doing what I can. Life has the plan, the resources and the intention to use it wisely so that when I have done everything that I can ther eis nothing that I can do that I did do