Rest, rest, rest awhile

In the months leading up to the reinstating of LTD benefits I was in constant dialogue with my self, which I eventually realized, was what wrestling with God really means. All this Breath would say to me is rest... rest...rest. I argued with him about this choice, as there was so much going on that required me to be actively awake.

Then one day I was not even able to open my eyes when I woke up; let alone get out of bed. I was tired and worn out from fatigue and concerns about today and tomorrow and even the now. I stopped arguing and rested my head on my pillow and fell asleep like a baby. In hindsight that was like the day that Jacob fought with God and won. With all his burning and rubbish and his wives, maidservants and children bred by his first cousins; and, lots of sheep and goats which he made sure he got from ‘pagan Laban’ as his just reward, he dared to cry out to God. Wow!

With God it’s all or nothing. I had to trust to cast all my cares on Him. No sooner did I started to lay them at his feet, one by one, the mountains began to crumble and I began to see beyond what seem to be the problem. Since then I pretty much just knock on heaven’s door and lay the mountain at his feet and those I thought were crucial to me I dared to hand deliver it and would not leave his side until he attended to it. Some days He would not even bat an eyelash and I just sat there. That was His way of making sure that I never left his company. When I understand how and why God does things I have no choice but to hang out with him, constantly!

God’s delays are not denials and his not yet does not mean no so now when he recommends a time to rest, I do not hesitate, question or doubt that he knows what he is doing and or asking me to do.


And so it is!