Out with the old

They don’t even work anymore so why hold on?

Wishing things to go away
Pray for problems to just disappear
Avoid confrontation or what I am really feeling.
Counterproductive escape.
Taking the wrong turn of the fork in the road.
Picking up people’s shit and cleaning up after them

I redeem my anger and deal with the calcified expressions of love and care.

My coping skills have already been showing marked growth as it reveals who I am. Who I knew I am for so long yet continued to deny.

I have to go against the nay saying circle as well as the comfort zone for they are the biggest enemy of achievement.

It is time to take a sabbatical. It is either that or keep cleaning up other people’s crap for them and die. I choose to walk away so they can clean up their mess themselves or sit in it and I can deal with mine. The time has come when I say enough!

I used to think that doing so would make me a bad person; selfish and uncaring but that could not have been further than the truth. Too many times I thought I landed on others wrong and did everything I could to make them feel better; the thing is nothing I did was enough to make up for the bruises which I have to realize was not even my doing. No wonder I feared that it would take my very breath to save some people and that I resented. After all that is what Jesus is there for, not me and I admit that I cannot rescue anyone. I needed help to save my self if I were to survive and survive is not my idea of living anyway. Until I was ready to allow God do his work and ask him for his healing I would have continued to go through incomplete cycles of action- a pattern that can break dreams and even bury them alive if I do not honour myself.

I have to put this superwoman to rest for good and not my will to live and be all God created me to be. Now I know that God never asked me to save or rescue anyone; that is for him to do. I step out of the way and let him take care of them as he knows best how to. I now appreciate all the chaos that channelled me to this moment when I can restore order in my life.

This is so great!
I can live my own life now… no more distraction.