Silence is golden: when; and, when not

To the innocent and naïve it translates to: do as I say, no arguments, no comments, no challenge- don’t you dare! This mind of yours will bring you nothing but trouble…you think too much. Avoidance of such ridicule oftentimes results in compliance- remaining silent (quiet) as the consent and disclaimer.

Long term and continuous application of this use of the wise and clever saying results in one’s inability to think or oneself. Helpless dependency on the imposer, or is it impostor, gives rise in force- manipulative power/servitude relationships. I refer to this form of golden silence as involuntary submission: signing your life away kind of blind resolution.

To the wise and learned it means: With eyes open wide as saucers and eager ears, know when to hold it and when to walk away, be slow to speak and look before you leap.

Consistence application of ‘silence is golden’ is the mark of a brilliant observer and listener; treading as gentle as a lamb. Vulnerable and strong; relationships are respectful, balanced/balancing, accountable and authentic.

Invoke Wisdom and the difference becomes clear!

Enough said!

Time

This most valuable asset has been encapsulated into millennium, century, generation, era, year, month, hour, minute, second, millisecond that is used as a measurement of urgency and interpretation of young, old, aged, senior, junior, commencement, retirement, fit, misfit, unfit.

It is flabbergasting how human run out of time-an inexhaustible treasure. I mean, how could anyone, and why should anyone, run out of time! I think we are running out of respect for time- the continuum that bridges one side of the breath to the other side of the breath.

Functionalism coerces the mind to behave as though the scientific clock controls life, growth and development and even confuse the biological/ecological rhythm of life with the scientic mode as if they are one and the same, thus making the quest to catch up with and imprison time, a necessity.

People spin in circles chasing time living as though the human body is some programmed/programmable gadget; some even attempt to function on autopilot. I know. I used to. I did, for many years.

Is it any surprise that the human body breaks down like some industrial piece of equipment. Fortunately for the machine- the real machines, they get replaced in a flash; maybe that is why human beings are made to think and believe that life is completely disposable.

The paradox about how one chooses to regard the need, use and want of time may have been the fixation of someone who wanted to capture the value of life/time by defining and confining time as the tick-tock of each stroke, or each blink, of the clock instead of working in tune with the rhythm of the heart.

In lieu of causing my heart to pound heavily in my chest in an effort to catch up with the mêlée that compete to define me, I use time as my inner toolbox where I can reach in for a retreat so as to reconnect , and stay connected with nature and her continues to teach me to maintain an attitude of gratitude that time is on my side as I venture to unlearn, relearn, recharge, renew, refresh, think, play, laugh, love, and practise to breath in - breathe out to the rhythm of my heart and of life… no more huffing and puffing in a race against time. Servant time reveals its master characteristics!

Imagine me learning to breathe again!

Thank God for time that never end!

Steadfast Spirit

Recalling the lingos of many hymns, songs and choruses I used to sing, shout and chant at the top of my lungs, vernaculars of vespers that I could carry a tune to that my heart and mind were trying to translate; I wonder now, why I was not more confused!

‘Though the cross be great, I’ll work for you…now, in hindsight, I ask myself for whom!
That saves a wretch like me! Moi? I am a wretch! I could not handle that one at all. It seemed to make my quest to fit in to God’s Flock, a curse
I’ll never deserve dadatdatdadt
Look with pity upon me…that’s it! pity party for the rest of my days …you gotta be joeking, I mean joking!

Memorizing is one thing; unconsented, uncontested hypnosis with ulterior motives is another.

Words in and of themselves take on a whole new meaning based on the experiencer, experiencee; in other words its origin, the speakers/readers state of mind and the grand schema of contextual diction.

Where oblivion makes it obvious to want to make people believe that ignorance is bliss and bless and not thinking for themselves is a treat of treats from the heavens, then damage of blessings is inevitable. Restoring true meaning and realigning intention with action for greatest good is evitable.

Considering the meltdown and buildup of vernacular: family- from generation to generation, culture-from region to region, religion- from denomination to denomination, social- from laws to mores, confusion is nothing new, old or in any hurry to go away; it is therefore to be used as a catalyst to wean lives and souls from the hold of the fear called ignorance and transform it to love of knowing!

That, for sure, requires a steadfast spirit to endure the tug of war-tug of peace encounters and puts back purity in polarity! Why was I not more confused!

Tunes like,
Bless the lord oh my soul
I wan to know, everybody wants to know
God is good, so good to me
Amazing Grace- yes Amazing Grace and it is well with my soul- they have taken on a whole new meaning in my schema- I guess that what meekness does!
A Mighty Fortress is our God, became chaperons and cheerleaders as needed... that's why I was not more confused!

Amen, Amen; Hallelujah- Amen… Hallelujah, Hallelujah- Amen!

Sweet Inspiration

The abundance of delectable delights which Mother God and Father Time use to infuse the daily appetite for sweet inspiration enhances it’s own true desires. The way Essence fragrances mind, body and spirit with its blend of creativity, harmony, bliss with a hint of practical challenges, is phenomenal!

Oh gentle breeze and golden sunshine, continue to tease to my soul!

I tell you, life is full of unsurprising surprises as well as suprising unsurprises and the more it spritz its aroma, the sweeter the air of inspiration!

Abundant Affluence

Rational and irrational ideas of intentions merge and the journey on the path of continued expansion of happiness continues to require the peace of mind that God had when it spoke the world into motion with the intention to use all that it breathed life into to fulfill its ongoing evolving through the turnstile of time

Tapping nature’s crotch for the crutch of courage continues to create cosmic comings of new crop. Progressive realization of worthy goals increases when the power within is how life appears to be doing just that as it stirs the mind into reality of its role of mapping the field of potential and possibility to help Nature apply its law of creation, evolution and recreation of new life

Heeding the ebbs and tides

Paying attention to what is happening helps me learn to release the need to stress over or about things that are already solved, so to speak, even when solutions are not yet obvious to my consciousness.

Heeding the ebbs and tides has been a tremendous help as I continue to develop patience, calmness, and trust in the process of life as it unfolds and I surrender the need to…

…be always brave
…be always right
…be always busy
…be faultless
…be liked
…feel indispensable
…be superwoman
…be rescue ranger
…thrill everyone all the time + the ninety more that I am still sorting through

and allow God to…

…provide all resources
…plan each programme in unorthodox style just the way I like it
…let me call my shots
…arrange the outcome to align conditions with my intentions
…do what only God can do

This is indeed a life assurance approach to live young, strong, beautiful and graceful and facilitate my body’s restorative ability after so many years of acute stress that almost infirmed major organs and viscera.
Thanks to wisdom-in all its forms- for the lessons and of understanding the importance of heeding the ebbs and tides.

When Letting God, is the way to go!

Many times people inquire about divorce they are referring to the most common usage of the implication of the term as if marital status and divorce are exclusive!

Before, I used to take offence to people inquiring if I have been through the fires of divorce. Nowadays, I tend to agree with the comment, which sometimes is an inquiry stated like a fact; and I smile!

What about the ninety-nine other indications when letting go is the healing balm that the soul need as it continues its metamorphosis. I am not referring to this as condoning the cop-out-bitter-wring-your-neck- bleed your account-milk your assets-and end you kind of altercations or ultimatums that replaces the need to stick it out and examine underlying reasons for disagreements in the heat of the moment battles... life's battles. I am talking about letting go when this is the divine choice. Life's battle will always on call and at what seem like the most importune times.

Also, the most troublesome questions reveal themselves when making such a traumatic decision, as if making the decision, was already not enough on one’s plate: how do I know it is the right thing or the best time to let go and what if I need to hold on…just a little longer...and what if…what if…what if!

Recalling that divorce is separation from anything that stands contrary to oneness of heart and soul: the God-self, I confess...

Knowing when to hold on and when to let go and more crucially, knowing what to hold on and what to let go and when I am the one to determine when I call the shots and when God alone can call the shots was my biggest ordeal of the divorce. I mean I got to the point when I threatened to divorce the source of life…go figure!

The delighter of my soul would have none of that so I knew that was a divine no-no; now what?

DABDA waltz in! And I had not even lost anyone! Still I knew that DABDA would not have come in to commence its duty if there were no reason for grieving. Who’s dead, I asked matter-of-factly?

The God who is entitled to its rightful place and true worship ignited a fire inside me as though to wake me up from my denial; and rubbish began to burn. Consummation of God amidst combustion of flotsam and jetsam was wreaking havoc.

It was long battle: refining and cremating- what a combo served in heaven and hell on the super deluxe menu!

Yum!

God knew what I was in for in the long haul so he sent me the angel of anger that helped me understand the ignorance of what was happening to me. Phew! This angel was a feisty one- I met my match!

God took over because he knew the bargaining stage was something only he can handle; needles to say, I did all the talking and God was mute, deaf and asleep. That did not stop me. In fact I felt that was a leverage to tell God off good and plenty! This was kind of my Jacob and Job moment!

Next he sent me an angel to help me deal with days when nothing made sense and the dejection of the ego’s loss in combat. Oh evay!

Then came the Jesus moment… father do you not care that I feel so without you when I need you most! Where are you? If there were a moment when I sweated blood, that was it!

Then came the haphakh

Losing transformed to winning- tears brought on new relief and new lease: I knew that this was the right time to let go, with good reason. As usual, I have been enjoying that process mostly in hindsight. Indeed where there is sorrow; there is joy and they blend well together like day and night!

Yum...Yum!

Imitating the magnanimity of Nature

I have a long way to go in mastering Nature’s nature and her poise in providing wholesome nurture for all in her realm. She’s a tough act to follow, still I want to be like her and since she is willing to be my mentor and for as long as I want and need, I am continuing to take her up on the offer of lifelong learning of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. This I know requires practise and real-time, bona fide-world experience.

The plus is that she has all the time, patience, compassion and timeouts or grace that I need to grasp her concepts and sometimes that is all she is going to oblige; well at least that is what I wish for starters- at least. The one thing I have to do is trust her and trust my myself to allow my mind and heart to open to her wisdom to assist me to hine and sustain inner strength and to not lean on human understanding since there is still some residue of tangled thoughts and mixed-up emotions in my consciousness for Cosmic Grace support me throughout its unfurling delivery to assist me with my ongoing progress of self discovery, self actualizing and tolerance- all prerequisites to live an let live and accept what I cannot change, change what is my responsibility to account for.

There are still lessons to learn about my life’s path and those life situations encasing and very much at the same time revealingy themselves as the catalyst that is helping me figure out what those lessons are teaching me. Where this has been done then I need the perseverance and endurance to continue seeing the good and seriously, I need help beyond facts, figures, forms and filling-in-the-blanks formula. There’s got to be something more! Although I did not say that out loud, Mother Nature’s keen ears picked up every muffle and she responded

“This is scary stuff! God knows that there is a good chance that mankind is afraid of (intimidated by) the way God does things, most times very weirdly if you ask me, and so this God always genuinely coaxes us to not be afraid- a factor that even his bravest warriors encountered although God prepared them to face the heat of their battle. So carry on with me my dear”

And so I hold on to Mother Nature’s hand and willing to go every step of the way with its guidance and protection. Watching the trees gloriously take on an intense workout that circulated every drop of sap to where it needs to be in time for budding days was a marvellous sight to behold.

After admiring the trees, I am even more keen on taking on the adventure!

Extremes, borderline and, in between…

Each phase of life- arriving, departing, unfolding, slowing down, speeding up, pruning, restoring, transforming, life, death, being in heaven and living in hell is a necessary part and parcel of the process.

Resisting any one of these phases is like forcing a butterfly to fly before its wings are formed or to exposing a sprout to ominous conditions prematurely or burying the grain of ‘wheat’ or ‘mustard seed’ when it is ready to break the shell and come out in the open. What’s abnormal is when one entertains the need to avoid the extremes or borderline, at all cost. The jeopardy is in lingering in anyone of these states when doing so is and of itself detrimental to the one who is doing it.

The cosmic dance is on and admission is free. There, stars shine like giant fireflies; raindrops hit the windowpane like pulsating drumbeats; thunder plays the bass fantastically, the wind screams delightfully, earth spins, lightening flashes, trees are dancing in rhythmic style and fashion, life is having a good time and none is afraid to just be!

Another message from the season!

Springtime Showers

Mother Nature and earth have been implementing a very conscious strategy of snow dissolving process that doesn’t wash away the tender roots and shoots or tiny grains and seeds. They are careful not to overflow rivers, swell streams and lakes; breaking dams in the course of action. In so doing they do their share- responsible and always respectful of the impact on ecological equilibrium which in turn provides optimal conditions for humanity to function effectively, creatively, wholesomely.

I know because of that some people who make a living as a result of natural disasters and states of emergencies may have to haggle with Employment Insurance to be considered eligible for a stipend. Home and property insurance will be happy to provide ‘affordable’ premiums that ultimately amass in their bank account.

In the meantime nature and Earth, or heaven and earth continue to keep their focus in perspective and responding appropriately- answers to every prayer- to some favourably, to some unfavourably.

The trees, unlike human beings, never seem to worry about their nudity or about when they’ll get to wear their brand new, beautiful outfit of leaves. . They are never concerned about putting away layers of winter garbs or about the cost of air conditioning or smog alerts in the near future; because they trust Mother Nature to handle that in due time.

Is it any wonder I am so fascinated with the message of the seasons- change is indispensable; and nature’s relaxed and composed resilience and faith that everything is just at it should be in the moment and no need for unnecessary stress and worry. Oh how I wish I can always be like that too…always like that!

So dear Mother Nature and Earth continue to provide opportunities so that I can continue to practise being like you- trusting that everything will work out just fine!

Therefore, I continue to practise seeing everything as a blessing! You make it seem so easy... I want to be like that too!

Hands-on Theology

I was brainstorming for an appropriate heading for the outpouring of my heart and mind as I make sense of its translation in my body.

I don’t particular like the term suffering otherwise I would have borrowed the title of Psalm 39: ‘Confession of a Sufferer’. What I like in the Psalmist’s prayer though, is the fact that I can relate to verses 3 and 4. In there, David is expressing what I am feeling- maybe I am at the moment experiencing the presence of my David-cells.

I have been assessing, again, what I appreciate about the lexicon of God, its ability to provide solutions, often times instantly; and the way this ‘how to’ manual becomes new every time I seek for answers.

The thing is, I grew up having this same book read to me; then read and explained to me. Once I felt that I was able to regurgitate, I was doing the same to the next generation. For a while I was very excited that I was chosen as fit to teach the word of God except, this turned to be a moment of doubting what I was sharing or rather, the way I was sharing God’s message of love by constantly rehearsing and rehashing the fall of Adam and Eve and the consequences that will permanently block us from God while still believing that God has a wonderful plan for you and how my sins put Jesus on a Cross and how its through my faults, through my faults, through my most grievous faults we labour in vain striking my chest hoping that would help us detour purgatory and earn a brownie point that is redeemable for a glimpse of the Good God glory!

I stopped pounding my soul and brain; and my mind raised hell’s roof and heaven’s ceiling. I spun in circles- sometimes at high speeds and sometime with very low velocity!

Soon enough my appetite went from wanting spiritual milk fed to me while I remained oblivious, to slurping my mind into God’s chicken soup; these days I want to sink my spiritual teeth in the hard tough dumplings of The Word. I make my choice to live with gusto and take consequences for all my choices- ‘messed-up’ as well as transcendent. Though matter what, everything that brought me to now, has helped me in my hot pursuit after God!

So I hold on to the baby and toss away the bath water and that to me, is the catalyst to hands-on theology.

God is on a roll... Hallelujah!

When Ecclesiastes said that ‘everything that has happened before is happening again’, and a season for everything’ I wondered; was he bipolar, schizophrenic or just too wise to understand his message on pure human stances…

Then I understood, that he and I have something in common- we are crazy, zealous and unyeilding in our desire to know and understand God and to make sense of the events of our times. The common thread in our thoughts is that he experienced those events and God inspired him to document them so that when I came along, I would have something to relate to and link his times with my times. Isn’t that amazing!

Next came Isaiah proclaiming what God did to restore the nations, I was appalled at how God used brimstone and fire to make his point: "I alone am God!

Wow!

It begins to make sense to me; that in order for God to restore, first there has to be discord and disorder; so in fact all the upheaval is a sign that God is on a roll!

Psalm 33: 10 seems to be very appropriate for our times: “God frustrates the purposes of the nations; he keeps them from carrying out their plans”. Plans like, those the very policy developers who swore, maybe even using the bible, oaths to put democracy back in politics which instead, violate political promises and agreements. Financial budget to restore economical equilibrium and social policy to reflect the respect and equality of human rights and equality are useless to the people and worthless to the nation and its economical status; healthcare means more discoveries of death threats-also known as diseases. Fair trade is synonymous with inflation; civil service is an opportunity for servants to bite the hand that feeds them. Confidence is put in research for the invention of magic pill, quick fixes; dog-eat-dog-survival of the fittest mentality of democracy; shatter-proof statutes; globalization of industry signals and symbolizes murder of the ‘little people’- all to no avail simple because what God did in the ancient days of Babylon, Israel and Jerusalem he is doing it even now in every nations that fails to invite him in the whole works.

And then God’s plans some of which is sprinkled here and there in the book of Isaiah will endure. Plans like; “a day is coming when human pride will be ended and human arrogance destroyed. Then the Lord alone will be exalted. On that day the Lord Almighty will humble everyone who is powerful, everyone who is proud and conceited” Isaiah 2:11,12; this was so important a message to take heed of that a few verses down 17-18 this message is repeated and the chapter ends with verse 22 “ put no more confidence in mortals. Incidentally, this verse is also repeated in Psalm 118:9; Psalm 146:3. Back to Isaiah… in chapter 11begining at verse 5 and pausing at verse 8: “He will rule his people with justice and integrity. Wolves and sheep will live together in peace, and leopards will lie down with goats. Calves and lion cubs will feed together, and children will take care of them. Cows and bears will eat together, and their calves and cubs will lie down in peace. Lions will eat straw as cattle do. Even a baby will not be harmed if it plays near a poisonous snakes.”

There’s a lot of figurative speech that I feel applies to how all people will live even though in the bible it references mostly animals… I feel that is symbolizes human mentality and personality. In one word- attitude- human attitude towards each person will transform.

I know the daily busyness of living can distract the human spirit from spending time in connect the past with the present and use that to assist in forecasting the future and I thank God for the day I decided to take heed to the book called the bible and us it wisely; for that, I need to invite wisdom to tame my mind and hush the voices that contradict and conflict with truth. That takes me right back to Isaiah 2: That’s one of the things I find about pure consciousness…God is always on a roll and for that I say Hallelujah!

In the meantime, I enjoy now, knowing that the day is coming when the oppressed will be oppressed no more; prisoner’s will be prisoners no more; I feel that word prisoner is totally irrelevant with the meaning as a place where lawbreakers are kept; it is a mental gaol that will be broken down; and ultimately, there will be no need for barracks or maybe, the ones who built the prisons will themselves now be the ones who occupy the space between those walls!

À la carte service, please!

Oh how I used to enjoy doing business with service providers who would pull out their service menu; offer the option to order a main course item along with my choice of accompanying side order, at no extra charge and to top it all I had the time to decide and disclaimers were short, simple and satisfactory.

Nowadays everything thing comes slapped with a fine and a one size fits all take or leave kind of service that patrons are expected to uphold in some lopsided loyalty and feel eternally grateful to be at the mercy of making selections from their list of preset bundles.

These ‘Goliaths’ are so profit over service providing-motivated and inclined, that how they raid and trample on customers ‘pearls and treasures’ is becoming the 'way we do things'. And it seems all good. Not for long! There’s a time for making huge profits and a time to be bankrupted…a time for mark ups and a time for mark downs’ a time for service providers to rule and a time for customers to be in charge… for I consider that the warnings biblical references render to declare what happens to oppressors is not hot air.

All I can do is not set my heart on riches that I will obviously leave behind when I head out to the land of ‘eternal darkness’; remain conscious to put my heart where my treasure is while at the same time maintaining mindfulness to “not throw my pearls in front of pigs or give what is holy to dogs: Matthew 7:6; and remember that the world and everything in it belong to God; and, as Proverbs indicates in chapter 23:4,5 “be wise enough to not to wear yourself trying to get rich. Your money can be gone in a flash, as if it had grown wings and flown away like an eagle”…yauwch…

Then what!

Ecclesiastes 12:14 has an answer:

“God is going to take inot account everything we do, whether good or bad, even things done in secret”

The kingdom of God: a state of being

For many years, I was spending so much energy thinking about all the things I’d do and have all the time I to accomplish when I get to the kingdom of God as if it were a place I would be transported to after the body and mind separates and God’s breath takes on new form; something that happens on earth, every time darkness chases light and light follows the darkness, anyway. Needless to say that I had been successfully taxing my mind in an effort to convince myself that this was not so. The conflict that tormented my being is that deep inside I knew better but I had my Esau experience: I sold my inheritance for a bowl of propaganda.

I suppose that is what psalmist is expressing in Psalm 103 when stating that God heals all our diseases… I personally feel that reference has nothing to do with physical infirmity so much as of spiritual impoverishment all because we needlessly suffer and banter while at the same time anxious that the kingdom of God seems too far off to relish its glory.

So rather than living the present as though a destiny of striving to become eligible now and redeem later like some rain cheque or coupon with no expiry date yet is subjected to change or rendered null and void without notice, I choose to not waste another millisecond on such waiting in vain expectation of the Kingdom of God.

Luke’s edification in Chapter 17:21,, is clear as crystal” “The kingdom of God is within you [each person]. Colossians echoes this truth in chapter 3:10, “This is the new [state of ] being which God, its creator is constantly renewing in his image, in order to bring you to a full knowledge of himself. Now that is clear definition that this is possible here on earth.

Innately, and unquestionably accepting that the kingdom of God is a part of who I am, I feel free to enjoy being in the kingdom of God here and now, as I choose to experience it.

Longing for eternal life here on earth is no catastrophe!

So many times I had been tempted to entertain the idea that life is happenstance; still deep within I knew that because God knows what to do with each ‘accident’. It is as good as saying God planned it and if God planned it is because he knows how to use it for good and even though all God did was allow it and watch how I deal with it; even then, all is not lost! There is a big God in charge and he knows every move I make; and why.

The life story of Joseph, Job, Daniel, the three Hebrew Brothers, Hannah, Sarah, Abraham, Jesus and countless more are faith-building illustrations to help make it through modern day events.

As Ecclesiastes says, every thing God does is for a reason…to make us stand in awe of him. God makes the same thing happen again and again. Also, Isaiah 30: 19b to 22 is a message of encouragement: “ The Lord is compassionate, and when you cry to him for help, he will answer you. The Lord will make you go through hard times, but he himself will be there to teach you, and you will not have to search for him anymore. If you wander off the road to the right or to the left you will hear a voice behind you saying, “ Here is the road. Follow it.”

Now tell me how could pursuing God and inviting God to pursue me result in disaster!

Memory and Imagination

Being able to revive and relieve life in one’s mind makes memory a fine tool- a catalyst if I can use this analogy- that enables one to trek from end of time-ad finitum- to the beginning of time- creation- just by rolling the film forward, backwards to any desired point is a real hoot!

Going back in time or forward for people who know the futility of using their mind to get out of the prison the mind has built within and even without is a skill worth mastering. And yes! The ability to use memory and imagination to close the gap is both a rewarding journey.

When I understood, no, when I believed and trusted once again that the soul is not restrained in a body, I shouted hooray! That’s what the psalmist must mean when he said in psalm 31: 8b: "you, [God,] have given me the freedom to go where I wish"; again in psalm 124:7; " we have escaped like a bird from a hunter’s trap; the trap is broken, and we are free!

And the best thing is that God has promised to be always present and reassures: "do not be afraid. God already knows how frightening and at the same time fascinating this journey is. It generates a high that is nothing compared to that which is experienced on the roller coaster ride in an amusement park; still, that gives a glimpse of what to expect.

Memory and imaginations give the freedom (choice) to dream, to entertain the manifestation of my desires; to foresee alignment of body, mind, spirit and soul, full circle. At this point one cannot choose sides because a circle has no sides and even though I can capture a point in the circumference I still cannot choose sides.

Consciously put to good use in prospect or retrospect memory uses imagination and imagination uses memory to help the human mind, body and sprit synchronize with the soul. Talk about a great combo- ones does the possible, that’s human; the other does the impossible- that’s divine!
Memory and imagination bring out the numinous powers God built in each being.

Thanks to memory and imagination I can reclaim that missing something that gives the get up and go…go...go oomph! Choosing to use it intelligently, precious!

Salutations to Trial and Error!

The point of separation from things that no longer work efficiently and connect to the point of attachment to what works resourcefully took a lot of trial and error on my part.

When it comes to beating up on oneself, I was in a class above the rest. That was simply due to the fact that I had trouble understanding:
Mistakes are inevitable
Being a mistake is a divine no-no
Trial and error is a precursor to improvement
Accountability is a sign of marked growth

I also had another troublesome habit: dwelling on ‘what if’ instead of appreciating the learning curve that mapped my progress in my wanting to improve all areas of my life.

That in and of itself was a whole heap of pressure because I always felt like I did not measure up... measure up to what… I have no conscious idea of my own even up to this point. All I knew is that I was always so close and yet far away from the relationship I know I want with life.

I waited for perfection to drop it down from the cosmos…ready made.

That did not happen. In fact all that happened is, I almost earned myself a master’s degree in waiting patiently, idly is more like it.

I played by my own mental rules. That was going well until I began looking over my shoulder, constantly. I kept checking in with the volumes of predetermined and fabricated beliefs to no avail. Looking back I felt that this was my biggest mistake and until I turned that into an ally, I was doomed. That part of me that I most sought after just kept playing peek a boo. The sad fact is instead of participating in the love pursuit and let go of the apprehensiveness of fear of not getting it right, no not just right, it had to be impeccably perfect, I did nothing

Then I decided to switch my major and voila I earned my doctorate in trial and error!

Whoopee!

The super serious stubbornness of the need to hold on to ideas that were at this point, obviously becoming vampires, soon transformed to a stepping-stone that supported me in finding my own religio.

Without giving up the fragile thread of my spirit, I pressed on…
... thanks to trial and error!

Easter: a blessed time for resurrection…

…of the soul, spring of fresh living; sprouts of a renewal of life, activities, and purpose; a time to turn from thinking about faults and limitations to knowing that God lives within each one of his children; awakening of consciousness; blessing that are new every morning; wonderful life that God has for every person.

Here’s to spring
Here’s to Easter
Here’s to Jesus
Here’s to newness of life

God is recruiting!

When God sent Jesus to conquer the world’s standard of sowing and reaping, he did so to make it easier for volunteers to work in the vineyard. This where free will is a good thing; no one can say God did not select me as the applicable candidate.

We all came with a purpose to fulfil and whatever it is each one came wired with specialty. The thing is for some or many, it may still be lying latent waiting for the moment of birth or maybe rebirth.

The harvest is ready and the labourers are still few!

God is recruiting.

It is never to late because what he pays the first, he pays the same amount to the last and to me and the yoke is easy and burden, light. That, to me, is the best incentive to join God’s team. I can tithe 10 % every day even when I have no money!

One more thing, no resume is required because God already knows everything about you. And each person is qualified. ‘No roll up the rim to win’… no ‘I am Canadian’; I am immigrant; no pool; no keeping resume on file for 6 months; family and personal time is respected; integrity is scrupulous. Isn’t that wonderful!

I’ll say!

Good Friday's Message: a double edged sword

On one edge: redemptive rights
On the other: manipulative tool for guilt tripping

For some it was the supposedly moment they were waiting for: to finish off the one who spoke the truth with love

For some it was supposedly the end of the one they looked up to.

So there is reason for rejoicing and for some dirge.

Either way it is celebration time!

Well I am glad that though I am stained red with sin, God washes me clean as snow. Although the stains are deep red, I am as white wool and just as far as the east is far from the west so far God has moved my transgressions. Isaiah's messages are full of the hope and reassurance of that!

And God did the same for everyone who is a child of God, which by the way is everyone he created. Psalm 24:1 clearly supports that birthright.

Thank you Jesus for making this possible!

God’s discipline with his rod and staff is a daily requirement that erases smugness from my heart as I forget the events of the past and look forward to the promise of newness.

So it’s up to me to chose to dwell on false suffering of guilt or triumphant redemption from sin!

I choose the message of everlasting life as I help to spread the joy of the coming of the day when the lion and the lamb gather and dwell peacefully on common ground.

It may seem slow in coming yet it is coming because what God has purpose, he fulfills!

Now there’s a message of hope for contemporary times.

Mother Earth Awakes and Father Timeless is Bang On

Nature is ready to continue flourishing and reveal what she had been secretly and silently preparing during the last season.

While it may seem that all the cosmos was dishing out was harshness, bbbrrrrrr weather conditions and blustery winds, blah moods, behind the scene Mother Nature was preparing for what next to come. And as everything else that must be done to yield right results, she needed just the right settings for her to work on her magic!

That is why she never takes seriously what mankind says about her in the winter months and even when summer’s humidity makes us pant like pregnant dogs. In fact, Mother Nature knows all too well that no matter what she displays to help us enjoy the process, and the little while that we are on earth, there are some of us humans who are never satisfied with the way she does the things she does, even so very well. And she could care less!

She allows us however to choose to see things the way we interpret it each of us in our unique way.

The expectation of the signs that indicate spring has arrived is still offline yet the day has arrived when Mother Earth awakes. Father Time is always right on the button!

Invoking my inner pharmacy

In my desire to achieve, experience and express total well-being, I follow a plan of daily healthful practices. I know a lot about how my physiology works and so I actively participate in maintaining its optimal balance.

God has talented many people to be physicians therefore I work closely with my GP and glean from her more in-depth knowledge on staying healthy. It’s not a "I am the expert on health attitude"; it’s a working together to arrive at the best medium to invoke my inner pharmacy relationship.

Above all, mutual respect and integrity are what's harmonizing us as a team. We are two experts working together to achieve a common good: I am the expert of my body and she is the expert to help me maintain the goal of responsibly attending to the health of my being.

Patient-doctor relationship is one area of my relationships that have received a big boost of trust... trusting the process, and that is all because I feel empowered to fully participate as ‘doctor me’; and the GP fully particpates in her role as a medical mentor and her feedback is valued.

Now here’s to progress in an area of my life!

Another sprout in my mental garden

Life is not about feeling good all the time. There will always be pain in life; that however that does not mean everlasting suffering. Enjoying life is about being fully present whether good times or not so good times lace the day.

That was a very trying concept to embrace! In fact I am practising to remind myself that the experience is not what is good or ugly, it is my interpretation of it that is distorted.

A life comprised of only suffering or mostly suffering is missing out on God’ main purpose- to glorify God; and from my personal experience and I can dare say the life experiences of so many people that enjoying life is more easily done when endurance is joyful, not painful.

Accepting that change is inevitable and growth is good is a message on my mental screen worth replacing the old model called resistance and dread of the unknown!

Eight total-life-toning exercises

I am not one to make or even entertain the idea of making resolutions and then whimper about it or chicken out or, try as I may, to take it back.

However, setting realistic goals or expectation with a personal plan of action that is flexible and practical for everyday enjoyment of life is a lifetime desire worth implementing and accomplishing.

In designing my very own goals to help achieve wholeness living I will set unrestricted expectation so as to keep the channel open for the flow of internal cues to give me the best feedback and generate the best outcome.

Alone, I am helpless to accomplish even the most desired goal on my list so there is no need to worry about the appropriate technique. I can only look forward to manifesting these desires for everyday living that is packed with goodness. Is that enough? Maybe…maybe so; at least the intention to restore harmony and balance in my life and in the world is a good place to start.

Then I hope to follow the path destined to be the most nourishing fulfillment and the peace of mind that comes with practising these exercises.

Why I am here will eventually unfold into full bloom and what I am here to contribute in this world will be accomplished.

That is worth living for!

Hence the reason for my eight total-life-toning exercises.

Enlarge my vision: Always let God direct my intentions and actions according to his plan

Maintain a healthy self-image: Remember who I am- a child of God

Discover truth: Let prayer and study of God’s Word mould my life

Examine my thoughts and choice of words: They shape my attitude

Find strength through adversity: Remind myself that from weakness comes strength

Live to give: God loves a cheerful giver so I share my prosperity when and as possible

Let go of past hurts: Thank God for all my tangles and ouches and let him use them for good

Choose to be happy: Maintain an attitude of gratitude for the many blessing in life.

Consulting with my inner warrior

Sometimes it seem like God is alluring me to come closer so he can whisper sweet love songs in my ear; other times, it seems like he is baiting me to come closer so I can get the full impact of his clout. And there is always one sure way to find out… get close as you can with one feet ready to turn around …oh well, there goes my comparing God to human authority style…

Oh God Am I going to swallow my tongue when this blog is written and posted!

What can I say!

I have tested all human discipline to God’s and sometimes I had been convinced that what I was first informed about God was really true; and if so, I was in for a severe bite… a bite that would makes winter’s gnaw feel like heavenly bliss!

All I can say in hindsight is my impaired judgement prevented me from knowing that I am already whole and the need to prove that I am good was just a waste of energy which God was nudging me to put to better use.

It took discipline, punishment, rescuing and ignoring… I guess that is when the free will thing can be a nuisance. It took God many trips in the wilderness with me; but then and again, he is God and that is one of the things he does when one of his sheep goes astray and baaaas until he hears it; and, just as the sheep is confident that the shepherd hears it, so I waited patiently for God to find me, scoop me up and shear the matted wool.

The most powerful promise...the most tremendous truth: I am Love

Many times I used to get so unanchored and devastated that I would just wave my hands in the air in a desperate fate to reach God’s open arms which seem to swing to and fro in the uppermost chamber of the cosmos; and the tears of helplessness would begin to pour.

The next thing would be my wailing and whining and calling for my God, more accusing, cursing and disowning than the alleluia-praising tempo. Still I felt that if the psalmist had the balls and guts to tell God like it is, then I can imitate them!

I was scared shit when praying like some of them did yet at those times I was too desperate for God to care about the consequences of using the deep rooted pattern of my ancient way of asking for what I wanted- God’s undivided attention and rescue.

Unlike human ways of correcting a child in need of discipline and some appropriate punishment, God knows that the child is hurting and vastly ignorant and selfishly biased. Therefore God first attends to the child’s feelings and allow the child to express its discomfort and presenting the needs of the narcissistic self. The child may not always get its way, even with God, however it is comforted to know that its voice is heard…no… it is listened to without judgement or fear of rejection of its feelings, needs and, intelligence.

Sometimes the child just wants to know that it matters… and in my case I just wanted to know that I was God’s child too.

That was not too much to want to inquire from God and so I was ready to shake heaven and rumble earth to get God’s undivided attention. I just wanted to know firsthand and to prove that God really cares about me.

Well the punishment was suave by the Father’s love and approval of me and I was once again satisfied that I have a big God who cares a heck a lot about me.

Granted these episodes with God did not just happen once… they happened over and over and over each time I felt like the psalmist in Psalm 30: “ I felt secure and said to myself” I will never be defeated. You were good to me God; you protected me like a mountain fortress. But then you hid yourself from me, and I was afraid. I called to you, Lord; I begged for your help.”

And as soon as I felt this chill in my soul; I know that my pleas made it safely to God’s inbox and like psalm 30 ended “ So I will not be silent; I will sing praise to you. Lord you are my God; I will give you thanks forever.”

Now when I feel as though God takes a break from constant reassurance mode, I just entertain myself, contentedly knowing that I am always loved and in God's care and presence, though matter what!.

Approval versus Validation

Approval dependency is a disease with very damaging and sometimes long-term consequences and side effects if not curbed. Validation on the other hand creates an atmosphere for the birth, growth and/or renewal of the feel good, intrinsic yippy-happy balance of self; and, yields a thriving spirit no matter what’s going on in the cycle of life.

Another word or term that pops up frequently when I encounter the need for wisdom to differentiate between approval and validation is, conformity. In this era of promoting the best self, many-a-times the approach and intention in building esteem and maintaining human’s worth, or as I like to describe it, the God-self relationship- can be misleading and even overwhelming. My take on the subject of the good of conformity is best supported by Psalm 8… just to extract the key point that always strikes me “ God created each person only inferior to God alone”- end of comparison.

Talking about comparison… eliminating the need for comparison means abolishing social tiers, isms and schisms and, along with that, the hungry need to dominate and swindle one another. In so doing, vital energy can be used up to rebuild and restore what had been long fought for- peace, justice, equality, mutual respect and support, and following all these is total acceptance of what is, without the need to justify, defend, fight and compete. Greed and hoarding can be disempowered. Mould of oppression can be grounded and sift like dust which the wind of the return of justice will blow away. Unrestricted integrity and mankind can then be free to just be! The true value of human worth will be measured with God’s weights and scale.

Approval dependency will expire and with it the ego’s need to rule with force. True power will be validated and conformity take on its rightful significance. That to me, is what entering the kingdom of heaven means and once we get there, the rest is easy because God takes over the show, plans the program and provide the resources. Peace and unity will flourish like a brush fire!

Abundance in the true sense of the word manifests for all. I suppose that’s what Jesus' parable of the workers in the vineyard is meant to illustrate... Matthew 20:1-16

God’s Wrath! Now, I get it!

It’s take a wild God to deal with a wild dog and the more the resistance from the wild dog, the more wrath God needs to slam its two by four without, in any way, damaging the dog. That's what's make discipline stand on a pedestal.

Well that is the analogy I have come up with to define my understanding of the choice of word used to describe a disciplining God, with consciousness and all good intention.

I mean when God gets this desperate it must really mean something to God to go that distance to win one of his children back. Now the child may not quite understand that this is God’s way of saying “ come on my dear, can’t you see how much I love you and want only the best for you. I mean tell that to any child who has its own idea of getting its way.

First the whining, then the really whining and then the ‘ I hate you or you do not love me verbiage accompanied the squeals and falling on the floor like a spinning bottle adn the withdrawing. Now, the parent who doesn’t know better then decides to teach the child a lesson it won’t soon forget. That is expecially true in cases where this was the upbringing passed on from generations to generations.

The child then becomes ashamed, not of the behaviour just dramatically displayed but of the fact that the disciplinary person shamed its right to ask, of trust and most importantly at that stage, it's feelings of safety and core survival needs. That's the birth of vulnerability and apprehension right there. The child, if already free on how to ask without being shamed, will understand the love behind the badambang with fist, stick, or whatever. If that child has not been taught how best to understand that no; not yet; does not mean I do not care; I did not hear you; I do not love or you are good for nothing then when that child decides to turn to God and there is much trouble in hell and heaven than in churchyard, school yard or behind closed doors.

Now a coin has two sides…

When the child scolds and berates the disciplinarian, that individual also has its own past booboos and of course it hurts more than the child is aware of; unlike the child, the disciplinarian often holds back what’s its feeling. I mean, why not share this with the child instead of putting on ‘I know it all and I am the boss’ uniform. The adult is terrified of taking out the mask that obviously is too uncomfortable and needs to get out. So when disciplining comes to the point of rage, wild dog rage it is the human measure of God’s wrath to the corraled child; that’s what I believe anyway.

Anyhow, I was just re-enacting how I used to deal with God before I understood God’s way of showing ultimate love and care… the very thing that I wanted all along.

That helps me to understand and accept that people did their best and they are not always monsters who do not care or know how to care.

Now, God’s wrath takes on a whole different meaning and growing up and its pains, in hindsight, was preparation for accepting God’s wrath when I needed it most. That took a lot of courage, but more so, now that I can admit, it also took a whole lot of humility... and it is all worth it!

It took me a long time to understand what letting bygones be bygones… I suppose this step was much easier taken when the lesson is learnt, practised and practised with the intention to keep on practising as long as I live, without the apron of shame and guilt.

Re-entering Puberty

Just as the physical nature goes through developmental stages, so does the spiritual nature and from the way I have been feeling and behaving lately as I watch my life continue to be rooted in Truth, I can safely say and undoubtingly admit that my spiritual nature is re-entering or perhaps entering its puberty phase.

Infancy felt like it took forever and than k God for giving me all the time I needed to make it through. Thank God for all his helpers along the way especially the ones who took me in places where I was afraid to go and go alone and, for those who encourage me go where they themselves dread to go.

As God continues to ‘ungnarled’ all the distortion that once jammed the flow of eternal life, my consciousness is revisiting all the events, choices, ups and anys that once upon a time tampered with my past life or lives and attempted to leak into my nowadays.

I may not always be going “yippy” yet I am very grateful that God can take me back to wherever I missed the mark, correct it or them and show me the divine way of living.
Going back in time as a means of undoing and unlearning harmful habits so as to purge away the toxic residue, rendering them harmless, and transforming their effect and using that energy to fuel attainment of higher vibration state is the most powerful healing process.

Thank you courage, serenity, resilience and least resistance
For me, these sum up letting go
Thank you wisdom, experience, perseverance, patience, and clarityTo me these are a league of their own and represent letting God

Maintaining and managing my mental upload and downloads

Dwelling on things that fill my mind with hope, joy love, peace, harmony, respect and all their trimming is the ultimate weed killers to encourage the mind’s garden to flourish with thoughts that produce (yield) the best intentions.

Problems grow bigger and bigger when kept in the dark where by the way, is no hiding place for God. Ironically and also for the same reason life develops and grows more and more healthily when processed in the dark… how is this possible with God all things are possible… not some… not one… all things are possible.

God-self employed: 'no hurry up busyness' philosophy

No punch clock
No benchmarks
No harsh brash job description
No fancy smanchie job title
No profit hoarding; after all, the world and all that is in already belongs to God
No unfair weights and measures
No prior experience is absolutely necessary
No overtime required or demanded
No who’s watching who; God is always watching
No lay offs
No need for deadlines- God is always on schedule and lines are always open
No manipulation, exploitation or oppression
No competition,
No perfectionism
No pressure
No hazardous milieu
Responsibility and accountability go hand in hand
Willingness and availability are all that’s required
Everyone’s employable
Mistakes are feathers in one’s cap
PAD projects one’s strength, promotes character and taps underused talents to prepare for increased productions
Timeouts are a must
And best of all- God always works and justice is always served.

The Mystery of Me!

The more I fall in love with me, the more of me I fall in love with; and, it seem like there is still so much more of me I need to get to know.

This seemingly a strange phenomenon is all too familiar. The mystery of me is like almost finding the source of the wind in its infinite, undisclosed- yet –all- around-me address. There really is so much more of me and I intend o fully engage in unravelling the mystery of me until I find the source of the wind.

I am a Godian…OmniGodian

When asked if I am a born again, or a Christian or born again Christian, I sometimes go blankMore oftern though I profoundly confess that I was born a Christian. Often, that last answer either leaves the ‘interviewer’ baffled, dismayed or belligerent. I usually remain quiet and become very observant as the most time ‘born again and save’ or ‘redeemed’ person draw conclusions, all of which I often disagree with and surprisingly with no attempt or desire to justify my statement.

I have often felt challenge to ask myself am I…
… A Christian?
… A born again?
… A born Christian?
… A born again Christian?

I guess that’s one of the many reasons why religion or religious sect – segregation and I don’t go very well.

So much competition to belong to the group that is guaranteed a spot in heaven and eternal life; or a group that belong to this faith, that creed or everyone’s dogma!

That certainly doesn’t appeal to me. To me, that represents a contradiction to attaining personal and intimate relationship with God without the quest for escaping hell and purgatory after death.

It all boils down to respect and sensitivity of another’s point of view. The part that still saddens me is too many people still seem to experience some trouble in sharing their understanding of God, firsthand.

Interestingly, that’s one area Jesus had no apprehension... and in that area I am Jesusian.

Broken joy, shattered hope, dissolved dreams: they are all redeemable

When the thought of things redeemable by God’s grace permeated the pigment of my imagination I thought, “ you gotta be kidding, right!

Years of lament, never mind the mellow meekness, it had been decades of the chorus ‘it’s too late, you’re no good, what’s gone is gone who do you think you are…yardy…yardy… yarda’.

Nowadays all I sing at the top of my lungs is all are possible. A t first I found that a bit disheartening as well because if all things are possible those choruses could very well become possible. That’s where the tension was so furious: straining to denounce the negative nagging notions and holding tight to the truth of the matter. Redeemable redeemer is able to change wailing into wowing.

How God plans his plans is always mind boggling because whatever it is that seem to go bye-bye immaculately contributes to the redeeming process… somehow. That is what makes all things are possible a marvellous mantra. Just by saying, God do your thing I medicate on all things are possible even though there are times when I make funny faces before I swallow it.

Thank God for redemption. I need it!

The Everlasting Specialist

Hurt healer, character builder, lifetime guarantor, circumstance changer, adversity overcomer, mind cleanser, miracle worker, heart purifier, life mender, body repairer, problem solver, intermediator, saving servant, alpha, omega, lifelong mate, comforter, mountain crusher, future planner, financial fixer upper, soul surgeon, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresence, Almighty God...

The Best is Here!

When the student is ready the lessons make a whole lot of sense: parables lose their veil, proverbs wheel and come again, Jesus comes to life, holy spirit springs into action and the student’s trust in the process align with endless possibility and therefore has every will to obey the teacher.

Prematurely, none of this is comprendable. It does not even make it in one ear let alone out the other.

Still during those times the teacher continues to trust that striking the iron while it is hot is half the work already accomplished and the best comes when the student is on fire! Once the fire is well lit the student keeps the spark aflame. Then, and only then, the teacher’s work begins to yield much more fruit. The thing is, the process may take many teachers and much longer for some teachers especially when the teacher is also actively learning. I believe that each person is a teacher and learner, sometimes simultaneously; in fact, most times it is more simultaneously than isolate.

Forgiving God! What a humbling lesson

I woke up this morning to an idea or maybe, it was the idea that woke me up. kind of like, hey Angeal-Eyes, we have something very important to attend to before you do anything else today. I opened my mind, with my eyes still shut tight under the covers. The words played jump around in my head and my heart. Were it just in my head I would have dosed back to my state of sleep before I was interrupted; but when heart and head are in unison I know I have to open my eyes- open my eyes wide, wake up and get up and get the hell out ofcomfortzone bed and into comfort zone of discomfort.

The next thing I know my heart was interrogating me. Wow, it's God talking and not just talking; it's God's turn to ask me a question. Oh boy!

I am wide awake at this point with eyes like saucers. That means I heard the question loud and clear.

But...but...but God, you are God. What did you do wrong? I mean what can you do wrong? Imagine me answering God with a question!

Well God has a point. So many times I held God responsible for a lot of life's circumstance and I was damn sure back then, that God was in all this as the meanest, cruellest creature alive and the fact that God was invisible made all my allegations stand tall like the rock of Gibraltar. The idea of forgiving God never made an inkling of reality until humbleness kicked my butt long and hard and made its way in my prewaking consciousness. I had to take responsibility. I have to take responsibility.

As if I told God the question was not yet processed...

"When are you going to forgive me and say I know what I am doing? When are you going to say sorry for blaming me for the things you thought I did screweduply... eh...when?

Well, I think it is time; now that you are convinced that I, God, always know what's best and all possible good, don't you think?

That was like hearing God settle the case and I began to admit as I understood my heart all too clearly... please forgive me, please love me.

The fact that all I have ever been told to believe is that I am always at God’s mercy and so dependent on this God that I had better never make a mistake and blaspheme this God about this and that or else this God is ale to finish me off. I held my breath because I had already sealed my agreement with this God. "Take the body that you had trouble creating perfectly and leave my breath alone and get the hell away from me!. do you get that!"

It was at that point that God sprinted off to hang out in the Garden of Getshemane. It was also at that point that Jesus realized the size of his responsibility that propaganda gossiped down the tube of time and that it was time that he set the record straight with me- a very awakened spirit.

God knows that I still secretly wonder about unconditional love and forgiveness and my capability to totally achieve and live in that state of grace always and forever without ever messing up... and God knows I am scared! Even an awakened spirit experiences a little scaredness- scaredness , not scarceness.

As I arose to face this day, I confessed that through it all, forgiving God was clearly an awe-inspiring way to start today; it may very well be how I start the rest of my days... although, who knows!

I thought too, that it was a good time to reread Psalms 20, 32, 51, 62, 68, 127, 128, 139 and 144.

And so, I did.

Then I thought God's question and humble request over and over and need I confess... tears flowed like the river of Babylon: I call these 'tears of accepted apology'

The Bohemian in me

I am noticing that more and more, I am content with life’s simplicity which now I come to think of it’s very intricate for one’s mind to fathom. Some call it old fashion. I say it is an old fashion that’s always in style. Some things are just meant to be uncompromised...even in modern times.

Post modernism hinges on instant gratification, leaving little or no time to enjoy the very gratification let alone time enough to savour the juices of ah ha-way-to-go delayed gratification. The body’s gratitude for treating it right by practise to slow down yet do more and perform even better is an unmistakable reward- natures harshness fades away and the cosmos is serene; all mankind’s strong urge to harness the Maker is aborted.

That adds years to life and puts back the joy of stress in its rightful place and everything is as it was in the beginning…very good!

Treasuring my divinity

Spiritual growing is a very gradual process that flows in progressive spirits a slow and life long development hence a work in progress.

Oh how good to finally embrace my true inheritance: God is far more interested in me than in what I can do or do well very well. I got that drilled deep into my skull, pierced into my heart and flooded every cell of my being. This seals God’s covenant and I make an intentional commitment to accept the only source of immutable truth. God cares a heck lot about me and so I have no reason to envy sparrows! Hooray it is never too late to start growing again. I’m working out and God continues to work on the inside and outside.

God, continue to fill my life with good so I stay young and strong like an eagle and beautiful and graceful as a gazelle.

Lion and Lamb

passion and compassion have arrived at the decision day debut to decide what the heart wants and what the mind is willing to let life take away without the roaring and baaing.
the heart wants to share its feelings and the mind wants to help the heart to do so without disturbing the zoo or the forest
feelings are cuing the signals of the minds' of souls desires and that is clear indication to stand clear and let the wind blow in way that is most practical for the both the lion and the lamb. I know that is how Life teaches me to rest even though i feel the need to put on my Peter's performance, I listen to God and back off

House of Connections

Many people walk through its doors for the latest buzz and some for a little quiet hideout away from the hum.

This stockroom is famous for connecting people, places, artifacts and arranging handshakes, eyeball-to-eyeball dialogue of resonating ideas with legends.

It is a place filled with heart huggers, enigmatic strangers and tearjerkers with whom I laugh as I nod, dance or watch them share what they’ve got. It is very freaky to comprehend that some of these artists I cannot meet with in the physical realm are very animated creatures whose spirit commune with me and invite me in their everyday lives and experiences at the library.

Over and, out

February 27, 2008

Deductive Reasoning

February 26, 2008

Rigid systematic values= still births

The symbolism of literature and linguistics is something that makes the bible and other doctrine and philosophy either very flexible or very rigid

One can spare the rod and spoil the child and one can fine tune what is already built into the child and let its wings develop so it can soar

That is enough to make individual thinking a gift from God, Jesus and Holy Ghost to alleviate suffering while in the flock of flesh and mind

February 25, 2008

Built-in Bathtub

Tear ducts were overflowing from decades of holding in so when tears began flooding it made swimming in the ocean feel like having a bath in a drop of water.

Like overcast clouds dispelling earth’s dryness, every cell of my body was releasing pent up energy. Those saline drops of liquid crystals represented the relief soul experienced when life quenched its parched desires from the drought of longing.

Soul gave new meaning to laughter tears as well as it celebrated itself, happy to have made it through the eye of the needle side by side with the camel with the sparrow cheering all the way to the party room. What a delight!

This gives a new spin to the prodigal son’s story-a remix, if you will- and so when tears blend with smiles without any care or need to take turns or wait for permission or validation that it is okay, life is dandy as can be and I have no need to medicate soul’s style of expressing its bliss.

February 24, 2008

Spiritual fortitude: a diet for life and a lifelong diet

How is it possible to hold on to hope and feeling desperate simultaneously, and not feel like a failure?

Were it not for holy tension I’d be a botch up bamboozle and finding wholesome balance would always seem to be so far away.

The memory of days when God used a hammer to keep in me shape are bearable. The times when God uses a chisel of adversity are, in hindsight, bearable. It is those sledgehammer and shop vac trials that began to get my undivided attention… and don’t get me started about the jackhammer sessions- talk about spiritual roughage.

Just like adequate intake of fibre helps prevent constipation in the human body so is adequate trials absolutely necessary to prevent blockage in the psyche.

Oh how I intend to continue to focus on living and watch the dark clouds transform to silver lining.

February 23, 2008

Bedtime stories a lá Carte, day or night

Bedtime stories a lá Carte, day or night

Personal imaginings of life as is while in the mansion of the bellybutton always spark intuition to appear very real to me even though I am quite aware that I am dreaming.

So what does my brain do? It knocks on heavens door located right next to bellybutton to invite an upload of ideas fit for creators’ cocreator. Creator and cocreator begin to personalize scripts of my movie. The best part is I am the director and I AM is the viewer and assistant director.

Oh I love those dreams and visions that make life in 3 D animation fit in the multidimensional scope of my being. Soul uses the sky as its theatre.

What worlds vision present when personally projected!

February 22, 2008

Stepping out before the ‘sea’ parts

As the Old Testament story of the freedom of the slaves from Egypt indicated, everything that took them to and from Egypt was test of faith

The water did not just open and swallow the guards and save the crusaders matching to liberty; they stood before the Red Sea, I am convince- swearing under their breath while they quaked in fear of the peril and in reverence for life.

When the woman was preparing her final meal of flour and olive oil for her and her son, the last thing she was expecting is for God to send Elijah with orders requesting the first loaf!

So when life tells me it is haphakh even in the middle of a drought or in the middle of winter I say, bring it on! Because in all my searching for a God I did not find another like the I AM God of my understanding!

February 21, 2008

The philosophy to life long healthiness and conscious eating

Approximately one hundred and sixty months ago I developed a fear for certain foods. On second thought, I think that the fear that had been there a long time ago manifested itself fourteen years ago when sugar was labelled as the culprit of my slow metabolism. I contracted a severe allergy to life called disease.

Interestingly what was never given much airtime was the real constant state of flee/fight that ninety-nine point nine percent of the time was a false alarm and that rigged more havoc than eating a little too much starch or milk and honey or skipping a workout. Mind you, I am the main reason for all this mayhem that rollercoastered my faith in the sheer possibility of enjoying a sweet life, even with its share of suffering.

I suppose that in spite of my sprightly optimism back then, I was at war with inner self most of the time, if not all of the time. That is a battle that will definitely wear and tear any superwoman. I mean who fights God or with food and wins!

The plus side is that somewhere deep within, the place where this same war was staged, there was another equally strong combat. My spirit was making sure I lived through every minute of the ordeal until I realize that I was fighting for and against myself at the same time and I had to choose. You mean I had a choice?

Hooray, I began to take time to not just look for the enemy words on food labels and curse the people who manufactured drugs, I began a holistic self study of what I was really feeling, why I was feeling the way and the role that food played as its ammunition and what the heck my body was communicating to me and giving it the time of day to express itself in a manner for me to understand and respond accordingly.

I had to turn to the same self that I was at war with and plead for help to do things well and right. That took a few blows of God’s 2x4 humility baton and admit that I was pretending to be too small for my own good and create a God the size of the one I wanted to woo me.

Talk about a blast to the ego. That was the best choice I made and in due course I resume my love affair with food, consciously. I rest those same cares that once brought on all the unnecessary flee/fight in God's basket and leave them there.

Now I can breath easy!

February 20, 2008

Imagination and originalness

Meal and heal come in as many ways and in many forms as ingredients of Nature and self-expression and the willingness to cure which I define as creating and cocreating life that I can digest and enjoy while alive

Splendour is beyond description of what words can yield and knowledge can comprehend. The sense help to connect outside with within and the experience of satisfied contentment glows and radiate a light that needs not switch to activate it.

February 19, 2008

Treat of a daily retreat

Served in digestible portions, life designs lessons that challenge, inspire, freshen my ideas of ways to enrich happiness

Earth lecturers are always available to reveal what is on the menu. The mixture of recipes combines knowledge, experience, wisdom, intention and attention in measurement that is relative to each menu maker

The result is reality just the way each intends to imagine it, expect it, want it, like it, or enjoy it. Either way universe is always satisfied and life continues to provide.

February 18, 2008

Basics of Existence

February 16, 2008

Generous Grace

February 15, 2008

Celestial Combo

Angel of hindsight and angel of insight gather all their assistants and attendants to work with me on behalf of the universe so I can uphold my agreement with Life to do everything that I can and accept everything about me so I can enjoy unbridled bliss by celebrating my aliveness.

The Universe is honouring my contributions as worthy prizes and this is making my brain a gratifying gainful part of me and so I sing holy high hallelujah to my Iamness and, continue to participate in cocreating renewable happiness

February 14, 2008

Heart of Earth

February 13, 2008

fascinating fulfillment

Life situations continue to brew the melting pot of personal and social experience. By understanding how the world of interrelations reigns using rules of reality and illusion of ideology I continue to gain a better perspective on life.

When wisdom created the patience program, which in heaven is the equivalent to ‘not yet’ I took this course rather half-heartedly yet somehow I managed to sustain my eager earth student attitude with gusto. The slow trickle of clear, objective perception of the facts of life now helps the mind come to a convincing conclusion that was well worth the wait and patience of preserving persevering

Life continues to freely offer to help inspire, influence and motivate personal growth as well as unrestricted freedom of happiness and harmony

February 12, 2008

Ascribed access

Preschooling of the mind goes way beyond preconceived moment of physical contact in the bottomless pit where procreation premeditates until the mind is mature and ready for ripening.

How else would the mind know the senses are pruned and shapes well enough to implant and transplant tricks that it wants to have passed on to descendants long before instinct remembers how to conceive and give birth. How else does the trustee know that trusting is safe and gossip is gullible enough to become fuel for purified emotions to thrive and is also the same matter that can be converted into putrid mucilage that wilts thoughts otherwise full of potential seeds waiting to burst into creation.

Instinct and inspiration continue to mix-up a specialty using experience to ascribe prescribed use of knowledge of the wise age of ancient information and use it in present processing of intuitively retraining the brain.

The way God is revealing how it works and how it taught Christ and Buddha and all the wounded healers and trampled-on roses is making earth welcome the gestation period with holy willingness. The moon is high; the tide is low and I can swim in troubled waters to ride waves! Well hallelujah to the most high

February 11, 2008

Fair Trade

The same way I would not conduct an investment that is not feasibly practical, is the same sound reasoning and conscientious thought I would deliberate before considering abandoning myself in exchange for treasures that perish my authenticity

That is a lesson on real world faith and conscious living

February 09, 2008

Provocative parable

I sense that the multitude that Christ fed with the five loaves and the two fish that he caught with his fishermen friends was to his cells. Of course the degree of patience that Jesus exemplified would have very well been honed by pinching every scrap that fell on the picnic table before the hawks and seagulls showed up. Afterall, he had not listened to the weather report to know if the fish would bite next day or the wheat would be ripe in time for baking the next meal. And Jesus told me that this is why he sent one of his disciples to get a coin from a fish to pay the taxes while he was at the wedding of Cana

The Godman knew how to fend for himself because even the Godman’s mind knew what it is like when the brain is famished and he had not yet been tempted by the ghastly ghost in his growling gut. And when he remembers what he was told happened to his ancestors on the way to the Promised Land, Lord Jesus was not about starve! Besides, those long talks to pass this on as the story of his forefathers was agonizing enough already and he needed to find a way out. That could very well be what prompted him to decide to give it up and become a legendary carpenter and parable prodigy who prompted people to promote the power of productivity that according to one’s faith so it is done

February 08, 2008

Food Categories

Food that nourishes the soul
Food that feeds the body
Food that nurtures the mind

Whether it is the nourishing kind, the feeding kind or the nurturing kind God already knows that Love is the only everlasting ingredient. Wisdom already knows how to produce, process, purify each one according to the landscape of the fertile mental garden inside-out as displayed by the universe through nature, time and potential because this terrific scientific mind power takes its cue from that which changest not and abiding within

February 07, 2008

The best time to live, love, learn, listen, let go, let me is now

Procrastination has lost the battle; now has triumphantly set the records straight.

Circumstances change; curveballs curve; people say hi then die. Places look pretty then become wilderness. Later is not always greater or better. Still it is often better late than never to reunite with my core... my original state of grace.

My desire is to move forward; overcame any uncertainty or fear of that, this and the the is too late.

The best time to do the best is now.

Check God out at: give God a chance
You’ll find out who you really are and why you are really here
Don’t delay. God wants to tell you because only God knows!

February 06, 2008

Partnership with God!

You bet!

Let’s just say you asked and I delivered. The thing with all your prayers was a cry of faith: increase my faith, test my faith and dear God please give me faith… that last one was a classic! Whether it was to get my okay that your faith was big enough or to lament that I forgot to dispense a great enough measure of faith to you.

You know you already that I had long, long ago given you a well full of your faith and own ideas that would supply our relationship. Sadly many layers of overwhelming situations built a wall to conceal me in an attempt to trick you to belive that you are alone in the midst of life’s frays. In order to help you re-establish your already fertilized faith I had to present you with opportunities to convince you that I Am is always with you. As the human saying goes: the dog’s hairs heal the dog’s wounds.

And you know all too well, practise is necessary to strengthen your outlook and so I will continue to give you just the right faith workouts.

February 05, 2008

Life is worth the journey

Time of despair; joy; pressures; pleasures; problems; solutions; tides; ebbs; wow; woy; bless you; damn you; oh evay; haphphak; life; death; success; experiments; births, resurrection, redemption; beginnings, endings, continuations; windfalls; downfalls; letting go, holding on; sunrise, sunset, day, night; sunshine; rain; falling; rising; sickness; sadness saga;, sundry images; vibrancy; why me God, why not me God; young, younger and even younger still; health, healthy, healthier; for better, for best; stumbling block, stepping stones; famish; gluttony; crumbs; steak, surplus, bankrupt, wilderness, oasis, quicksand, tragedy, launching pad, ladder, half empty glass; half full glass; cups of sorrows; tumblers of oohlalah; all the details of life…

... like it or not every bit of everything is worth living for.

February 04, 2008

Communion with God

Well there I thought that partnership with God is as good as it gets…
I was sitting on a cloud when God decided it’s time to take our intimacy to the max!

Was I intimidated?
Was I aroused?
Was I in for the time of my life?
Was I afraid?
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Was I ready?
Ooooh yeah!

But first, first, I had to let God in to where there was still a little nook and cranny for-my eyes-only space in my heart and soul.

Oh no!
Oh yes!

I put my best argument forward… God, well…
Wisdom put its best agreement on the platter.

Leave it… that was the first temptation; I knew that was not an option. I mean who walks out on the best offer? Who? I mean here I am fit enough to consummate my commitment with God and the first thought is’ God must have made a mistake!
What’s wrong with me?

Of course, I did the most obvious thing… I accepted God’s offer. I have not inhaled so slowly and so deeply in my life; maybe close enough, still nothing compared to this moment of total surrender!

Did I expect surrendering to be so sweet?
Did I anticipate communion with God to be so intimate/

Not in my wildest dreams!

I’ll say!

February 03, 2008

One and the same!

God's refiner's fire is the classroom, lab and playground for all of us as we transition from one mood to the next mode seeking some sane balance above or below average. Well thank God that in the line of duty in heaven's helm there is no such thing because some people would not have any role in God's plan and that would be rather out of character for the Creator- very ungodly, to say the least. So why would God create all these categories of life? God did not. God is not the one who assigned religion, denomination, culture, languages, borders, them, me.me.me and us.

All I can find in Genesis is that God created man and woman and Psalm 8 affirms that God created human being only lower than God.

Then why would God allow all these categories?

Personally, I feel that God allows them so as to have some contrast and distinction between God-created and man-made so it would become a choice to discern life from death.

God has good news of great joy for each of us… no one is below or above average of each other. In other words, each of us is created only a little lower than God and God only is superior.

Saved saints… sinful saints … solitary saints… sad saints …sociable saints…spoilt saints: all are one and the same! That's up to us how we choose to describe ourselves or allowed to be labelled!

All I know and God knows is that we are all God-created and that's enough to help me to see the best in everyone!

February 02, 2008

Saying Goodbye to Idle Fear

Maintaining an eternal perspective in the here and now is the most viable way to make it through the day and let go of the fear of whether there is really heaven or hell; resurrection or ad finitum.

Well if only for a mere consolation that when God takes away what is unnecessary in my life I can still be happy for what remains, then so be it because I will have done what I am to do, here on earth!

Curiosity still nibbles at my core and I wonder if there is any way that one can live without this natural inquisitive behaviour. For my sake, I hope not! Otherwise idle fear will bring me to ruins and I cannot live that way!

I even wonder if it were not curiosity that made God invent the universe; it could very well be that and not sheer boredom . then and again maybe that is how God discovered Divine, Ominpower.

Something must have gotten to God to spend six days going what if ... I did that... i wonder what would happen if I did that or said that...

I wonder about a lot of things and no doubt God wonders about a lot of things. I wonder if God knew what curiosity is capable of!

Until God reveals the whole truth... I continue to wonder; and, let idle fear take leave.

February 01, 2008

Real faith at its best

It was not too long ago when gnawing questions about me, God, and everything exploded and splashed all over God’s workstation. That was something else! I could no longer keep these questions, doubts- honest doubt, and no nonsense allegations about the real essence of what makes things come to being just with a word. I no longer wanted to feed on super-sized serving of mental junk food about God and the right and best way to make it to eternity instead of maggot world.

If I had not attend to the brew of eyeball to eyeball interlude with God I would have gone ballistic, so ballistic that even God would have run for cover; so it was that, or agreeing to just address those magnitude of questions directly. I mean if children can write to Santa with such pure innocence and trust why can’t I communicate with God with such pure intent. Imagine giving God ultimatum that’s not just gutsy- it was inevitable were I to totally accept and surrender to God. If that what is called narcissist’s behaviour or that part of me that I skipped four decades ago that insist on getting some attention before it bowed out of the attention stadium, tehn so be it. When life becomes so important, when what its claws reveal are fragility, fragileness and preciousness then I will grab life and hang on to it. This is serious business and at the same time a very delicate matter… this is no joke! Needless to say, my fighter’s spirit spread its fangs and hell retracted its claws so I approach divine chambers where God and I began what is fast becoming rewarding and raw reality- uncut.

Looking back I saw ahead scenes that nudged me to move along and then I turn to move forward and was not sure which way was forward or behind- was I mesmerized. I felt so stuck moving at full speed. It wasn’t funny! I let that whirlwind did whatever it wanted- of course I cursed it for pining me down and pleaded it to do whatever it had to do and hurry up and get on with it so I can begin to get over it. I did not think I had it in me to be so livid that I walk miles and not even know it – walking miles in the middle of the night. That was better than pillow punching. I was frightened and relieved when discharged from the anger’s grip- glad it was over.. it took a long time and it was over before I knew it. Dissolved and rendered harmless that’s when fear stopped provoking to fuel my anxiety. I was very afraid of the consequences of releasing my sincere doubt of after life, of God, of everything. I was clinging on to the tip of the branch of agnotism and the edge of ad finitum ready to shake hands with the creator. Torn between a moment of boldness and split seconds of trepidation. No amount of planning could have prepared me for this close encounter with spiritual feistiness. I could die with no one knowing my yoyo relationship with God and pray that no one finds out or I could just be straight with God on the matter. Tough call either way! Not being straight with God was more tragic and I was not about to risk fooling myself either that God would not find out. Who enjoys living like that!

So I knocked on heaven’s door; it was already open and so long as I live this is something I have no desire to defend. I made it in life to enjoy the struggle within me to be point blank with my changing moods about the unchangeable. Were it not for that I would have given up on my personal relationship with the God of my understanding. I must, I still have questions and I suspect I always will.
And God already knows!

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About Me

Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis

Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis legally arrived in Canada as a skilled immigrant- a Ministry of Labour and Citizenship Canada collaborative perk. Seeds of my interest to attain increase academic accolades while I search for meaning of whole E living in a partial E Turn ET Realm birth opportunity. As time progress and high honours grades flourished this aim diminished importance to my spirit. Soul lifelong reason to have risen ignited my innersense. This posed many risks to sanity and sanctity. My Self determined inner oyster decided that I need to transform every obstacle that interfere with sustainable value of its heart currency that can never develop in a commemorative mint. Trusting my innocent intelligence wisdom endow me with continue to fruitfully multiply. Ah! Invisible Intelligence dissolved missed crystal-clear certainty and induced mastered unpredicted uncertainty. I enjoy each instant that source and its resource offer to an astutely attune align actualize androgen genuine genius genes is fueling willingness to celebrate childlikeness confidence to coeurperate with Life, its situations and opulent options in a human flesh blood sentience earth vessel

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