When Solomon wrote Proverbs he may have done so retrospectively and even in intense introspective state of being when the mind reconnected his intention and action to make sense in the grand scheme of cosmic conditions of right conditions on its terms and timing, kind of like securing the stable after the horse galloped to gallivanting gardens. Therefore, Wisdom never fail him especially since scripture states that he had already asked for discernment when he became king.
I strongly sense that he used his life experiences to prepare his son so that the son is free to make his very own choices.
Oh well, insight always knows how to intervene.
This is just what I feel the turn of events have made me decide to do.
Opted out of the school of strict protocol called academia for a while so I can opt in to the school of practical, everyday living experience where graduation day in never a mentioned milestone and the lesson are live, direct and to the point. They both offer Fine Arts. The choice is to discern which one is the elective; which one is the major.
One is a lifeline- full of detours, bruisers, timeouts, disguised blessings and constantly in an instant, with a teacher who plans the program and provides the resources.
One is a deadline- loaded with interest charges, constant-lifelong upgrading, heavy workloads of theoretical calibre, with a teacher who offers the program and loans the resources.
Both are necessary. Again it is a matter of knowing which one is the major and which one is an elective.
Knowing the difference helped me to refocus my perspective. Were it not for Ecclesiastes’ no nonsense-tell it like it is from both sides of the fence, I would still be chasing the wind or maybe by now I’d be out of breath and a stone would take my place!
Personally Profound Perception Plus… is my confession corner. There I share the message in my mind-heart-soul about life and living.
May 30, 2008
Jonah-Moses-Ecclesiastes-Jesus, all in the same day
Jonah-Moses-Ecclesiastes-Jesus, all in the same day
The more I think about the simplicity of living, the less complicated the mind.
And it’s like these biblical explorers are much alive, and very active guides ready for action upon a moment’s notice and somehow it is stirring me on to enjoy the perfectly normal benefits of multiple personality order- be it Cluster A (weirdos): schizoid, schizootypal, paranoid Cluster B (pain in the ass): antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, histrionic or Cluster C (Woody Allens): avoidant, dependent, obsessive-compulsive.
When creatures cannot function as the normal enitity according to the universe intelligence without being overly burdened of unnecessary ‘spankings’ then though matter what age or rewards of gratuity for skipping some or even most of their developmental stage(s) of life, the shit will explode; and more often than not, it is never very appealing or fitting in the perfectly-crafted description of what is normal and who is acceptable by whose standards and the experts of spotting the sinner in the saint without recognizing the saint in the sinner just don’t get it!
I can state what I consider Cluster A, B, C
It is this:
To dismiss something because it is different from, or even more so, because it challenges the mores, rules, and laws invented based solely on scientific factual norms that attempt to tread on dangerous premise to uphold some conspiracy to overthrow the holy Rock of Ages, as if these deemed and self proclaimed gurus know better than the one who draws the big picture.
To me, that best describes deranged personality with all the trimmings- the whole nine yards of the DSM IV. Some were probably really losing their minds why they invented that manual. It seems to me that the very people who take all the time to go through all the painstaking effort to create such funnels and filters need a mental health assessment.
As for me, ever since I unchain my mind, and choose to let the double-edged sword pierce through its partitions lo and behold, the patiently waiting explanation of what really is awaiting me, I have not turned back to as much as glance at the DSM IV or its advocates.
When my Nebuchadnezzar cells begin to rant and rave, I call on Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah aka Sahdrach, Meshach and Abednego in their modern day body, to rescue me.
And when the cloud comes down to take me up for a joy ride, my Nehemiah, Job, Hannah, and the Acts of the Apostles cells sing Hosanna! Holy High Hallelujah
The more I think about the simplicity of living, the less complicated the mind.
And it’s like these biblical explorers are much alive, and very active guides ready for action upon a moment’s notice and somehow it is stirring me on to enjoy the perfectly normal benefits of multiple personality order- be it Cluster A (weirdos): schizoid, schizootypal, paranoid Cluster B (pain in the ass): antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, histrionic or Cluster C (Woody Allens): avoidant, dependent, obsessive-compulsive.
When creatures cannot function as the normal enitity according to the universe intelligence without being overly burdened of unnecessary ‘spankings’ then though matter what age or rewards of gratuity for skipping some or even most of their developmental stage(s) of life, the shit will explode; and more often than not, it is never very appealing or fitting in the perfectly-crafted description of what is normal and who is acceptable by whose standards and the experts of spotting the sinner in the saint without recognizing the saint in the sinner just don’t get it!
I can state what I consider Cluster A, B, C
It is this:
To dismiss something because it is different from, or even more so, because it challenges the mores, rules, and laws invented based solely on scientific factual norms that attempt to tread on dangerous premise to uphold some conspiracy to overthrow the holy Rock of Ages, as if these deemed and self proclaimed gurus know better than the one who draws the big picture.
To me, that best describes deranged personality with all the trimmings- the whole nine yards of the DSM IV. Some were probably really losing their minds why they invented that manual. It seems to me that the very people who take all the time to go through all the painstaking effort to create such funnels and filters need a mental health assessment.
As for me, ever since I unchain my mind, and choose to let the double-edged sword pierce through its partitions lo and behold, the patiently waiting explanation of what really is awaiting me, I have not turned back to as much as glance at the DSM IV or its advocates.
When my Nebuchadnezzar cells begin to rant and rave, I call on Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah aka Sahdrach, Meshach and Abednego in their modern day body, to rescue me.
And when the cloud comes down to take me up for a joy ride, my Nehemiah, Job, Hannah, and the Acts of the Apostles cells sing Hosanna! Holy High Hallelujah
May 29, 2008
Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis: As your faith…
When I prayed “God help my unbelief’ I was not even sure what to expect at that point except hoping for a cloud to fall from the heavens, drop in my lap and father, son and holy ghost stepping out to sit next to me. That, to me, would have been more dramatic and earth shattering than waiting for NDE to show up armed and aimed to terrify me especially if I hadn’t done my penance prescribed as act of contrition.
The cloud has not yet come down and maybe with good reason- to steer me clear of the need of NDE to rattle those unbelieving cells. Instead, the fog continues to lift off and take flight back from whence it came with its trailer load of scarecrows that kept wanting to make me change my heart’s desire to journeying on the steep, rugged, narrow, winding grooves and gorges to arrive at the stream of living water, fresh from the source.
Divine Intelligence always knows what to do when those prayers land in heaven’s in box. Heaven’s mailroom must be really, really big and awfully buzzing and it’s not yet even Christmas!
The cloud has not yet come down and maybe with good reason- to steer me clear of the need of NDE to rattle those unbelieving cells. Instead, the fog continues to lift off and take flight back from whence it came with its trailer load of scarecrows that kept wanting to make me change my heart’s desire to journeying on the steep, rugged, narrow, winding grooves and gorges to arrive at the stream of living water, fresh from the source.
Divine Intelligence always knows what to do when those prayers land in heaven’s in box. Heaven’s mailroom must be really, really big and awfully buzzing and it’s not yet even Christmas!
May 28, 2008
The Likeness of Opposites
So many similarities between you and me that all I can do is laugh at the fact that my efforts to reshape you, is actually taking effect. Phew!
There's a lot more that you are still have no clue about and that is okay so do not trouble yourself needlessly wondering what have you not done right lately or where the heck I disappeared to.
I am here
Your buddy,
OmniGod
I am here
Your buddy,
OmniGod
May 27, 2008
Transference
Transferance
There are times when speaking with God is more like a monologue than a dialogue. When that happens my expectation of God dwindles, my joy feels vapid and my excitement stagnates even for a little while.
It’s like a child wanting its parents full attention only to later realize that mother dear and father dear had their own need for undivided attention for God to hear their hearts’s cry and to hear God unequivocally saying, ‘You are perfectly you. Nothing is wrong with you.” Sincerely, God!
This is the closest I can come to comparing earthly parents with the eternal parent when I feel like Eternal Presence is totally not there to applause my bravo moments of making it through the day and bandage the bohbohs.
As soon as I admitted this personal fact full return of glee, the glitter in my eyes and smiles from ear to ear make me fully present to celebrate aliveness and God cheering me for living happily with integrity in my own kind of way.
May 26, 2008
Wisdom- inexhaustible, uncorrupted resource
It is strikingly awing how wood ants can devour the core of a building, leaving it exterior looking intact and a gullible prized real estate. Most times reinforcing the foundation when there is a crack in the attic walls averts dangerous consequences.
The same reality happens when lack of self-care gnaws away the viscera, amking the ananlogy “prevention is better than cure” a dose of prudence from life and the body’s built-in designer.
That’s why I treat life and my body, more than ever, with utmost respect. As the saying goes ‘a stitch in time saves nine’. It’s too bad it took a surgical scalpel to make me even more proactive long after the ninth stitch was due and shall I say, overdue. It took a lot of listening to and humble obeying Wisdom to appreciate the mindbodyspirit connection.
When the psalmist sang that ‘though my body wears away, my spirits soars’, he was not joking.
Where there is breath there is life. Savouring the drink from the everlasting Well even without money is like hoouring the age of accountability. Of course, death which I describe in this case as slurping in the strong wine of ‘ignorance-is-bliss’ and sipping the slow poison of injustice is always on the lookout.
Above all, Wisdom is always there to clarify the difference in knowing an ouch and a yauwch!
As long as I am a human being earth-angel, I intend to attend to every breath and each cell and thank Universe for its unlimited viability of available resources. Indeed, that I need on a now to now- now for now basis.
The same reality happens when lack of self-care gnaws away the viscera, amking the ananlogy “prevention is better than cure” a dose of prudence from life and the body’s built-in designer.
That’s why I treat life and my body, more than ever, with utmost respect. As the saying goes ‘a stitch in time saves nine’. It’s too bad it took a surgical scalpel to make me even more proactive long after the ninth stitch was due and shall I say, overdue. It took a lot of listening to and humble obeying Wisdom to appreciate the mindbodyspirit connection.
When the psalmist sang that ‘though my body wears away, my spirits soars’, he was not joking.
Where there is breath there is life. Savouring the drink from the everlasting Well even without money is like hoouring the age of accountability. Of course, death which I describe in this case as slurping in the strong wine of ‘ignorance-is-bliss’ and sipping the slow poison of injustice is always on the lookout.
Above all, Wisdom is always there to clarify the difference in knowing an ouch and a yauwch!
As long as I am a human being earth-angel, I intend to attend to every breath and each cell and thank Universe for its unlimited viability of available resources. Indeed, that I need on a now to now- now for now basis.
May 25, 2008
Today: refurbished yesterday, now
Plague of apprehension and the comfort of intense self-preservation were a divine combo that assisted me stay alive during the era of brutal blows that attempted to blunt and coral my brain into conformity.
Life knew that at some point I would have to face the ancestors cloned to appear as ghosts and have one-on-one with each one live, direct and to the point until each purged its soul and hand me back that which I need to function on my own.
The mystery of who I am began to reveal facts that rescued me from the vampires of pharmaceutical medications and neurotoxins of genes passed on from generations
Systematic world set its traps for the mind almost completely oblivious that the director of intentions knows all the tricks of coercion applied to assemble activities that made the grave a welcomed resort. Many of the ancestors confessed their truth of having adopted the induction of institutions that made them blast off to spaces of no places. The good thing though, many of them use their unlimitation of fixed address to roam to and fro as their way of shattering the notion of needing to die to enjoy eternal life. That accounts for much of the havoc that the world is experiencing as Earth continues to produce descendants who empower themselves to make choices that support life of heaven here on earth.
I accepted their congratulations, absolution and apologies with the grace of holy reverence
As for the ancestors, the psychosis that was impeding their willingness to accept responsibility for unlived lives impending has abated. Now they can do what they were born to accomplish, uninterrupted, unhurried, undisturbed, unbounded, and unbridled bliss continue to expand in my once upon a time impoverished consciousness of famished desires. And me, I rest in peace
Life knew that at some point I would have to face the ancestors cloned to appear as ghosts and have one-on-one with each one live, direct and to the point until each purged its soul and hand me back that which I need to function on my own.
The mystery of who I am began to reveal facts that rescued me from the vampires of pharmaceutical medications and neurotoxins of genes passed on from generations
Systematic world set its traps for the mind almost completely oblivious that the director of intentions knows all the tricks of coercion applied to assemble activities that made the grave a welcomed resort. Many of the ancestors confessed their truth of having adopted the induction of institutions that made them blast off to spaces of no places. The good thing though, many of them use their unlimitation of fixed address to roam to and fro as their way of shattering the notion of needing to die to enjoy eternal life. That accounts for much of the havoc that the world is experiencing as Earth continues to produce descendants who empower themselves to make choices that support life of heaven here on earth.
I accepted their congratulations, absolution and apologies with the grace of holy reverence
As for the ancestors, the psychosis that was impeding their willingness to accept responsibility for unlived lives impending has abated. Now they can do what they were born to accomplish, uninterrupted, unhurried, undisturbed, unbounded, and unbridled bliss continue to expand in my once upon a time impoverished consciousness of famished desires. And me, I rest in peace
May 24, 2008
Call to order
Inner-shift approach offers many choices that I can incorporate so as to contribute to and participate in helping the universe restore Earth in ways that increase its production and at the same time benefit the worlds of worlds.
Each time it comes to election there is much promises stipulated as though to test the onesize fits all hypothesis. Still there is the freedom of choice and with that inner conviction, I choose to elect the power within and help universe raise the frequency of Earth’s vibration so it revolves, evolves and proliferates
Each time it comes to election there is much promises stipulated as though to test the onesize fits all hypothesis. Still there is the freedom of choice and with that inner conviction, I choose to elect the power within and help universe raise the frequency of Earth’s vibration so it revolves, evolves and proliferates
May 23, 2008
Politics is still politics
Budget and social change for the better seem to appear as being top priority as a concern of the interest of the people in an effort to restore equality. Policies and administration are being touted as being fairer for the people by the people and although there may have been a modicum of progress of promises keeping; still, the nation is on the same page as it were before the ‘pick me, pick me’ campaign- child welfare is a redundant affair, affordable housing is a big joke, fair wages and taxes are a up in the air on a hot air balloon ride, health care is quickly becoming death care; good medicine and wholesome food are under major attack and as if that, in and of itself is not enough, there is more interest in the labeling of food than the fact that its status as food is totally ignored and robbed of its relevance.
Though matter which form of government reigns, politics is still politics and until the agenda of politics policies change, politics will always be politics.
As Abraham pleaded with God to save the whole nation even for the sake of ten and God replied, “Even for the sake of ten, I will save the nation.”
I believe that this same God is on a roll with a haphakh and I sense that an abolition of the policy system and it makers will rid the nation of its plagues.
One way or another, justice will be restored and each and every one will enjoy ‘good’ times and ‘bad’ times.
Though matter which form of government reigns, politics is still politics and until the agenda of politics policies change, politics will always be politics.
As Abraham pleaded with God to save the whole nation even for the sake of ten and God replied, “Even for the sake of ten, I will save the nation.”
I believe that this same God is on a roll with a haphakh and I sense that an abolition of the policy system and it makers will rid the nation of its plagues.
One way or another, justice will be restored and each and every one will enjoy ‘good’ times and ‘bad’ times.
May 22, 2008
Global Cooling!
It’s as though Mother Earth and father Time are using temperature fluctuations to make its point regarding Bill-C51
Warming!
Attention, please, your attention please
Listen up Bill Fifty-oners
Let go of the contempt for life before the One who owns everything commands a revival of the plagues in Egypt. I am issuing this to let you know that the God of Moses is wide-awake and ready for ransom. Remember, all authority comes from me.
Sincerely
Omnipotence
Warming!
Attention, please, your attention please
Listen up Bill Fifty-oners
Let go of the contempt for life before the One who owns everything commands a revival of the plagues in Egypt. I am issuing this to let you know that the God of Moses is wide-awake and ready for ransom. Remember, all authority comes from me.
Sincerely
Omnipotence
May 21, 2008
Breath of my breath
As the human sayings go “never say never; it never too late and better late than never.
My child, all I can say is I am just ecstatic that you did not wait until you got the whole picture to trust that my plan is indestructible.
Though matter what you did, I know you knew I could put you back into you- the you I created, and the stuff I wired in you to function as I intend you. No other way would serve my purpose for you. It is I who put you together in your parents and everywhere you have found yourself. You know jolly well how much I cried; granted, I had to use Jesus’ eyes and even that was not enough. I tell you my love; you were serious about getting a hold of me even if at any moment you expected me to finish you off. That was one of those old obstinate brain cells that struggled to drag us apart and treat us as separate.
Every time you fell off my wagon you yanked that brakes as if I did not already know. I was so pleased with your determination that I had to admit that even my tests were not scary anymore even though you had to fly in the face of hell’s heat. The Hebrew-Brothers-cells never gave up.
I created you with my own specialty and I know why. I want to encourage you to keep the faith-your faith, trust the inner signal about what is right for you and whatever is, that’s your purpose at the time, continue to just do it well- as fitting unto OmniGod.
Cheers, Angeal-Eyes- Breath of my breath!
OmniGod- Triune
My child, all I can say is I am just ecstatic that you did not wait until you got the whole picture to trust that my plan is indestructible.
Though matter what you did, I know you knew I could put you back into you- the you I created, and the stuff I wired in you to function as I intend you. No other way would serve my purpose for you. It is I who put you together in your parents and everywhere you have found yourself. You know jolly well how much I cried; granted, I had to use Jesus’ eyes and even that was not enough. I tell you my love; you were serious about getting a hold of me even if at any moment you expected me to finish you off. That was one of those old obstinate brain cells that struggled to drag us apart and treat us as separate.
Every time you fell off my wagon you yanked that brakes as if I did not already know. I was so pleased with your determination that I had to admit that even my tests were not scary anymore even though you had to fly in the face of hell’s heat. The Hebrew-Brothers-cells never gave up.
I created you with my own specialty and I know why. I want to encourage you to keep the faith-your faith, trust the inner signal about what is right for you and whatever is, that’s your purpose at the time, continue to just do it well- as fitting unto OmniGod.
Cheers, Angeal-Eyes- Breath of my breath!
OmniGod- Triune
May 20, 2008
The here and now of the final days
Anywhere there is government- be it democrat, bureaucrat, tyranny, socialist, tribal, capitalist, republic, conservative, liberal, religion, revolution, institutions- Revelation is at work.
Wherever there is liberation- be conscientious living, enlightenment, highest awareness of the God-self, holy reverence of celestial essence of energy, Revelation is also at work.
Hitching one’s wagon- a.k.a- life to either one is a personal choice, whether chosen, or chosen not to choose. Deuteronomy 30:19 edifies,“ I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And so does Joshua 24:15 instruct, “If you decide that it's a bad thing to worship God, then choose a god you'd rather serve-and do it today; that clearly, to me, is indicative that Revelation is not an after-the-body- varnishes event nor is death an after-the-body- varnishes event.
I wonder if that is where the proverb ‘living among the dead’ originated or even the maxim ‘living dead’. Even closer to Jesus-talk; is that the metaphor of the blind, death, lame and sick that he came to restore? I often notice that he never always referred to the healed as having had disease the way this word is milked for all its hallucinating ability to stealthily corrupt and rewire the human mind-set.
All I know is I am happy that I argued my case with God about here, now and, world without end and the possibility of never attaining this eternal life because for all I care there could be damnation when I get to the other side- the other side that I could not fathom would be enjoyed the way I want to when I meet you face to face. I even used to wonder “you must have an ugly face that you want me to die before I can satisfy my curiosity about you.”
Oh my! those crying-laughing tears were were not in vain after all; OmniGod always said to me 'things are not always as seen, perceived, taught or anticipated.
Well I always used to vow to OmniGod that I rather live like heaven is on earth in case when I die I find out that the afterlife I was taught to behold of heaven or even hell was a pigment of one human’s imagination blown out of proportion or may it was not blown out of proportion, it was just someone’s way of making sense of what was passed on. Trying to get a handle of God and all the stuff that matter is something that is as essential as breathing.
Wherever there is liberation- be conscientious living, enlightenment, highest awareness of the God-self, holy reverence of celestial essence of energy, Revelation is also at work.
Hitching one’s wagon- a.k.a- life to either one is a personal choice, whether chosen, or chosen not to choose. Deuteronomy 30:19 edifies,“ I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And so does Joshua 24:15 instruct, “If you decide that it's a bad thing to worship God, then choose a god you'd rather serve-and do it today; that clearly, to me, is indicative that Revelation is not an after-the-body- varnishes event nor is death an after-the-body- varnishes event.
I wonder if that is where the proverb ‘living among the dead’ originated or even the maxim ‘living dead’. Even closer to Jesus-talk; is that the metaphor of the blind, death, lame and sick that he came to restore? I often notice that he never always referred to the healed as having had disease the way this word is milked for all its hallucinating ability to stealthily corrupt and rewire the human mind-set.
All I know is I am happy that I argued my case with God about here, now and, world without end and the possibility of never attaining this eternal life because for all I care there could be damnation when I get to the other side- the other side that I could not fathom would be enjoyed the way I want to when I meet you face to face. I even used to wonder “you must have an ugly face that you want me to die before I can satisfy my curiosity about you.”
Oh my! those crying-laughing tears were were not in vain after all; OmniGod always said to me 'things are not always as seen, perceived, taught or anticipated.
Well I always used to vow to OmniGod that I rather live like heaven is on earth in case when I die I find out that the afterlife I was taught to behold of heaven or even hell was a pigment of one human’s imagination blown out of proportion or may it was not blown out of proportion, it was just someone’s way of making sense of what was passed on. Trying to get a handle of God and all the stuff that matter is something that is as essential as breathing.
I am happy to reclaim the ‘crazy’ thinker intelligence and radical child that my maker created and built in my personality throughout this lifetime.
Any other way and, I lose my mind to the abyss and my soul returns to the big bang of breath from whence it came. It is simple as that and as complicated as can be, too.
May 19, 2008
Wilderness Therapy
The beautiful mix of sunrise and morning dew, sunsets, clouds, flowers and natural surrounds add much intimacy to life’s natural world of blissful respite that fits perfectly into my daily intake of Nature
I can literally feel the life force coursing through my body. My pulse resonates with the richness of universe supply of all I need to rest, renew and recuperate. Mind is rejuvenating, soul is exploring its sanctuary and spirit is gliding along in all sore spots suaving them with eternal-life balm.
I invite myself to enjoy the profundity with while he innate physician is healing itself with the gift of simple spectacular solutions fashioned by Life itself.
I can literally feel the life force coursing through my body. My pulse resonates with the richness of universe supply of all I need to rest, renew and recuperate. Mind is rejuvenating, soul is exploring its sanctuary and spirit is gliding along in all sore spots suaving them with eternal-life balm.
I invite myself to enjoy the profundity with while he innate physician is healing itself with the gift of simple spectacular solutions fashioned by Life itself.
May 18, 2008
Cultivating a State of Grace
David must have been really lost in the valley of desolation when he composed Psalm 23. I used to wonder how on earth could David have made it to such high five moments with OmniGod!
It seems that the analogy of when one had been lying in the Sahara Dessert of life panting orgasmicly with the longing for eternal juice is not a bunch of carleemarchare, after all; it is how imagination covets and courts the soul to keep it going; even the first drop of salty sweat taste like milk and honey.
All this while the great big wind keeps singing “I will make it up to you; I promise to give you all I’ve got if you don’t give up on me... just don't give up on me. And then the zephyr brushes its tail against your face and cheeks light up with optimism and you sing along with David, The twenty-third psalm until I fall asleep in heaven's cradle while resting in hell.
Wow, OmniGod!
It seems that the analogy of when one had been lying in the Sahara Dessert of life panting orgasmicly with the longing for eternal juice is not a bunch of carleemarchare, after all; it is how imagination covets and courts the soul to keep it going; even the first drop of salty sweat taste like milk and honey.
All this while the great big wind keeps singing “I will make it up to you; I promise to give you all I’ve got if you don’t give up on me... just don't give up on me. And then the zephyr brushes its tail against your face and cheeks light up with optimism and you sing along with David, The twenty-third psalm until I fall asleep in heaven's cradle while resting in hell.
Wow, OmniGod!
May 17, 2008
Creating a Routine with Reverence
When heaven breaks loose and hell runs on fumes I go within and soon enough and always right in time calmness reset my pace and realigns with an attitude of gratitude of Reverence. My poised stride resumes its progress in Grazeland. Breathing! What would do without its abundance; what can one accomplish without reverence for Jehovah Jappa.
May 16, 2008
Coming soon! Tax collectors with Zacchaeus cells
I don’t know exactly when; all I know is that as sure as the earth spins, so does the wheel of fortune and when God-timing arrives like a thief-unannounced like the tardy bridegroom, tax collectors will be tossing out their loots in exchange for some oil to save their lamps.
Like Zacchaeus, their consciousness will awaken. They will give back first place to the one who owns the world and all that is in it. The one who pays a fair wage for a good day’s work will divide the loot, giving to the last the same as the first. Shrewd managers will then save their teeth from grinding and gnashing by doing exactly what the chief tax collector in Jesus’ day did. This is how the God who keeps every promise remains faithful to its word, works.
May 15, 2008
Pensive Thinking... Effortless Work
Most of my poems were composed as a coping mechanism during my solitary moments as I tried to make sense of so many challenges that cornered my mental, emotional and physical being. I realized that not only had I neglected myself; I abandoned a great gift. My first poem was a high school class assignment. Here I am some decades later making better use of the gift of using the godability if using words to undig and exhume the many buried ideas that having been latent in the crevice of my soul
Writing, and more so, poetry helps me to stay tune within. It brings out the strength and courage when doubts try to creep in to distract me from my purpose
I learnt to express my feeling of anger, resentment and bitterness by letting them spew out on the pages of my journal, bits of paper or the PC.
May 14, 2008
Suicide: Serious, Sensitive Subject
This subject matter is overly burdened and burdensome, prone to sacrilege, repugnance and contempt yet also delicate is its firm grip at your throat choking concern needs some fair airtime. It is not a matter of ‘those in favour, those against”. It is not easy; it just is. Like everything else, the shroud that shields the face of suicide and all its close and distant relatives must be open casket viewing in spite of the fumes of our own mind's wondering
Feeling suicidal is not in and oftself the harmful behaviour; this gut cry for help ends up on deaf ears of ignorance, and death fears- that is the suicide, a deadly attitude.
Feeling suicidal is not in and oftself the harmful behaviour; this gut cry for help ends up on deaf ears of ignorance, and death fears- that is the suicide, a deadly attitude.
Not being able to rid one’s self of the heavy burden of the syndrome of living someone else’s life and dreams, the heavy loads that even God’s yoke have no room to accommodate is time to say enough.
That’s Enough
Intimidation of Goliath can drown one’s inner inkling to persevere. How sad!
That’s what the breath succumbed to when the standards of the world rejects the standard of its maker’s masterpiece
It is the ignorance of the ill meaning used to cloth such subjects as death, life, living, contentment, suffering, happiness, false guilt, true repentance, the dust that we are, the truth within the dust that we are that makes us truly unique in our likeness and image of the creator- the innate, inalienable accessible source of life and living. The freedom to pursue and embrace and even reject that Source at will is thievishly stolen. The torment of unthinking thinkers and doing beings make circumstances testing, teasing, and tauntingly unbearable for some; maybe many, too many.
That’s what the breath succumbed to when the standards of the world rejects the standard of its maker’s masterpiece
It is the ignorance of the ill meaning used to cloth such subjects as death, life, living, contentment, suffering, happiness, false guilt, true repentance, the dust that we are, the truth within the dust that we are that makes us truly unique in our likeness and image of the creator- the innate, inalienable accessible source of life and living. The freedom to pursue and embrace and even reject that Source at will is thievishly stolen. The torment of unthinking thinkers and doing beings make circumstances testing, teasing, and tauntingly unbearable for some; maybe many, too many.
Sound reasoning become distorted
Actions become slaves to judgement
Decisions, dreams, inventions, unique beliefs become extinct
The being God created is dead long before dying and traitors receive scouts honour and the grief stricken loved ones are torn between making peace with what is over running for cover over the beltings from guilt and the blows to integrity and whatever self respect that sores the grieve, grudgingly
Just like disease diseases the body so does it wrangle the soul which then wriggle to remove itself from the restlessness of being forced to remain contained.
Separating suicide from among the list of the endless fancy smanchie label attached to disease as if it cause is still unknown, maybe all too well known and familiar that it breeds contempt and attempts to hide its ugly face, ridiculed and unsolvable, unresloved like the life gone: lived, unlived, never knowing what would have been, then yearns to return to complete what had to have been…
Spirit never dies and its work must continue. Somehow!
Only the creator with the power to give and take away the very essence of life can do so without remorse yet remorsefully- unfathomable remorse. It is as if this all-powerful it self becomes suicidal ad resume it pursuit to and save all who come, without money; just thirsty and hungry for its substance. Thankfully, its Grace is based on its all-knowing authority, not on trust that is used and abused.
OmniGod uses the "tragic" events as lessons to correct the misdirected; breathes new life into their spirits, zest, dreams and the downtrodden spring to action like never before and better than before.
My philosophy mirrors Jobs attitude towards death: welcome death, even invite death just like Yahweh allowed the devil to touch Job’s life but don’t you dare touch his breath. When God speaks even the devil has to obey because it understand that giving breath is not its territory and so taking death is absolutely out of its reach. It is amazing how the devil tried to use Mrs. Job to encourage Job to curse God and die- she must have been, like Judas Iscariot, in a dark hole syndrome moment of dark, cold, stuffy, groggy and blinded by the consequences of instant gratification of doing business with department of external affairs.
God knows we all have this tendency lodged somewhere in our minds and the inkling of Paul in our hearts- the desire to do good and, still oops! We are all like that. God knows what is weighing on our minds and how some of us carry on in spite of and why some do not jut like some overcome the negative impact of death from any other kind of disease and some succumb to the pain and havoc of disease. One is physical disease, the other, spiritual disease… the many faces of death.
I know that OmniGod is busy keeping human from the precipice just as it had cautioned Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and the Garden of Gethsemane. Its like a parent or guardian/gossiper does its best to protect the child form harms’ way and with all good intention pushes the child right from their frying pan into the inferno and some sometime end up in the Refiner’s fire.
That’s’ why when one does something for the right reason there is hallelujah when foolish reasoning clouds good intention God is indignant with rage and still keeps on holding on because it cannot take its breath away. Now that makes the grieving of the one who bowed out of the race do so knowing that God was always watching.
Looking for oneself is not easy; finding one’s self and not being able to savour that conception, consummation and communion with self is even more heavy on the heart.
Sadly many go without knowing that truth and hence returns to help teach and comfort- believe or not!
One person’s death made me accept that it is okay to be angry about the sad facts and not deride anyone who commit the distressing act and so I carved the courage to take out the dark shades and give some light to the disease called suicide.
May 13, 2008
Ancient autobiography, timeless testimony
When I just perused a few stories here, there and in between the puzzles kept falling apart and I was falling apart too.
Until like a hungry newborn tasting its mother’s first serving of milk, I ravenously and contentedly suck in the marrow of the Word and began to identify with its source.
I continue to study the autobiography of the most ancient of ancestry lineage the more current their testimony and the more persistent their invitation to not just stand on the sidelines and read; nod, squawk, laugh with such surprise and dismay as you realize that all of us at one time mirror you or may just be your next role in the Screenplay of life. It’s like their voce sprung to life from the pages, lauding me to apply time tested, tired and proven principles sprinkled and iced on a cake full of Essence dating back from the beginning still fresh, wholesome, nourishing and satisfying to this contemporary times.
Until like a hungry newborn tasting its mother’s first serving of milk, I ravenously and contentedly suck in the marrow of the Word and began to identify with its source.
I continue to study the autobiography of the most ancient of ancestry lineage the more current their testimony and the more persistent their invitation to not just stand on the sidelines and read; nod, squawk, laugh with such surprise and dismay as you realize that all of us at one time mirror you or may just be your next role in the Screenplay of life. It’s like their voce sprung to life from the pages, lauding me to apply time tested, tired and proven principles sprinkled and iced on a cake full of Essence dating back from the beginning still fresh, wholesome, nourishing and satisfying to this contemporary times.
May 12, 2008
Benediction of Revelation
I used to quarrel with Omni for more than I care to count for dread of running out of numbers; I used to really use up my Habakkuk cells wondering why is heaven so full of hell.
The more I thought of it the more I dreaded reading the book of John with all his visions from God about the second death and first death and all these gruesome details that await me once my body stops coveting my spirit and leaves in search of its room in the abode of many mansions. It you think that the door crasher lineups and deal campground would be remotely comparable then, I better be on the lookout for the next such lineups and campgrounds just for practice.
And as Job declared in 3: 15, 14: 7-8 “so what if God kills me? I am going to state my case with Almighty…there is hope for a tree that had been cut down; it can come back to life and sprout. Even though its roots grow old, and its stump dies in the ground, with water it will sprout like a young plant.
This is supported in Wisdom 3:15; “ Honest deeds are like a root that is alive and can always send up new shoots.”
The plank of fear that boarded my brain from reading Revelation with my mind’s eyes rotted. Having the time to peruse the book of Revelation since I decided to have asked the real author and creator of what was on John’s mind in my plea for hard tough spiritual dumplings, I began to read and reread Revelation book. It was like the black hole of the dark room illumined with a million trillion million fireflies.
So it is okay to let the thousand years mentioned in Revelation 20: 1-3 and 7 take its course without as much as losing an inhale/exhale?
So is this the modern day ‘thousand years’?
I could understand Reason yet like Job attests during his experience with the thousand- year (limited) reign: “who can argue with Everlasting Almighty and win?” And I dare say, “Who can argue with Almighty God and not win because with God it is always win-win
The more I thought of it the more I dreaded reading the book of John with all his visions from God about the second death and first death and all these gruesome details that await me once my body stops coveting my spirit and leaves in search of its room in the abode of many mansions. It you think that the door crasher lineups and deal campground would be remotely comparable then, I better be on the lookout for the next such lineups and campgrounds just for practice.
And as Job declared in 3: 15, 14: 7-8 “so what if God kills me? I am going to state my case with Almighty…there is hope for a tree that had been cut down; it can come back to life and sprout. Even though its roots grow old, and its stump dies in the ground, with water it will sprout like a young plant.
This is supported in Wisdom 3:15; “ Honest deeds are like a root that is alive and can always send up new shoots.”
The plank of fear that boarded my brain from reading Revelation with my mind’s eyes rotted. Having the time to peruse the book of Revelation since I decided to have asked the real author and creator of what was on John’s mind in my plea for hard tough spiritual dumplings, I began to read and reread Revelation book. It was like the black hole of the dark room illumined with a million trillion million fireflies.
So it is okay to let the thousand years mentioned in Revelation 20: 1-3 and 7 take its course without as much as losing an inhale/exhale?
So is this the modern day ‘thousand years’?
I could understand Reason yet like Job attests during his experience with the thousand- year (limited) reign: “who can argue with Everlasting Almighty and win?” And I dare say, “Who can argue with Almighty God and not win because with God it is always win-win
May 11, 2008
Happy Parents Day
Personally, this makes more sense to me. What still murky is the true meaning of and reason for setting one day aside on separate days and months to observe the most dignified role ordained to mankind. It seems to me that commercial gains are at heels with distractions of the honourable respect parents are worthy of. It’s as if the corporate world is not enough of a thief of the core function of family; the political partners deem one day off as a gratuity/solidarity to reinforce the soundness in the foundation of society, the family. That’s more like putting the family in a bind- hold off, family day is coming but in the meantime I will leave you to the surrogate role mothers and fathers; then when family day rolls along it would be either too late of too little to prevent consequence of gross dismissal of the responsible to the blessing that children are.
Mother
Maternal instincts that humankind cannot live without
Organizer, nurse, nurturer, C.E.O of time management
Teaches and practices trust, love, confidence, comfort
Her work as a parent is ongoing and unsurpassed
Earnestly and unselfishly cares for her young
Relates to her offspring like no one else can
Daddy
Devoted father and Godly exemplar
Accepts parenting responsibility honourably
Disciplines in the way a child learns love
Desires to be the best role model and family man
Young at heart and enjoys childlike playfulness
Mother
Maternal instincts that humankind cannot live without
Organizer, nurse, nurturer, C.E.O of time management
Teaches and practices trust, love, confidence, comfort
Her work as a parent is ongoing and unsurpassed
Earnestly and unselfishly cares for her young
Relates to her offspring like no one else can
Daddy
Devoted father and Godly exemplar
Accepts parenting responsibility honourably
Disciplines in the way a child learns love
Desires to be the best role model and family man
Young at heart and enjoys childlike playfulness
May 10, 2008
Monstrous myth and bliss of disease
Is there such a thing as disease?
You bet!
Is disease originated in the body?
Hell no!
Is the disease hard wired in the DNA?
Of course not!
Is disease hereditary?
I say, adopt the lifestyle and inherit its outcome.
Disease is a state in which the mind subconsciously uses the senses to control and resist the spirit, resulting in a restless unease.
That’s the con
The pro
Disease is also a signal that can steer one to use it as a divine rod of discipline- self-discipline. The sins of lack of or little or no desire to care for one’s self and the burden of expecting another to fully take that responsible from self’s hands as well as renouncing the right to rest, recharge, recuperate, eat, play childlikely; and, get this, the number one mortal sin is, giving up one’s ability to think and feel innately to account for one’s self.
These are all manifested when courage grows dim and false fear intensifies.
There comes the fork of the road in life when optimism preservers or sorrows magnify, each using disease as a monitor and catalyst.
Healing is primary
Undoing that which generated the generations of symptoms and malady that excused the desire of active realistic living side by side with Essence
Unlearning the monstrous myths of life, death, living, dying, growing, ageing, God, Jesus, Spirit and humanity
Unleashing the trapped being from the mangled mind and battered brutalized body
Unyielding to stumbling block(s) in other words, persevere intelligently
Unfrightened of one’s bona fide being of full potential
Unestrange from one’s desires
Cure is multidimensional
Enjoy the forgiveness of ignorance
Do what can be done
Let go of what no longer can be done humanly
Treat pain with dignity
Do not let what one cannot do stop anyone from doing what one can be
The benefits is that one will discover what s/he was originally created to be- to just be before the state of original sin of the supposedly family of origin which came after the original family had already been established
The greater sense of knowing transforms the curse to blessing: the bliss of pain and disease; hence the understanding of sorrow amidst joy and joy amidst sorrow.
Indeed, everything happens for a reason.
You bet!
Is disease originated in the body?
Hell no!
Is the disease hard wired in the DNA?
Of course not!
Is disease hereditary?
I say, adopt the lifestyle and inherit its outcome.
Disease is a state in which the mind subconsciously uses the senses to control and resist the spirit, resulting in a restless unease.
That’s the con
The pro
Disease is also a signal that can steer one to use it as a divine rod of discipline- self-discipline. The sins of lack of or little or no desire to care for one’s self and the burden of expecting another to fully take that responsible from self’s hands as well as renouncing the right to rest, recharge, recuperate, eat, play childlikely; and, get this, the number one mortal sin is, giving up one’s ability to think and feel innately to account for one’s self.
These are all manifested when courage grows dim and false fear intensifies.
There comes the fork of the road in life when optimism preservers or sorrows magnify, each using disease as a monitor and catalyst.
Healing is primary
Undoing that which generated the generations of symptoms and malady that excused the desire of active realistic living side by side with Essence
Unlearning the monstrous myths of life, death, living, dying, growing, ageing, God, Jesus, Spirit and humanity
Unleashing the trapped being from the mangled mind and battered brutalized body
Unyielding to stumbling block(s) in other words, persevere intelligently
Unfrightened of one’s bona fide being of full potential
Unestrange from one’s desires
Cure is multidimensional
Enjoy the forgiveness of ignorance
Do what can be done
Let go of what no longer can be done humanly
Treat pain with dignity
Do not let what one cannot do stop anyone from doing what one can be
The benefits is that one will discover what s/he was originally created to be- to just be before the state of original sin of the supposedly family of origin which came after the original family had already been established
The greater sense of knowing transforms the curse to blessing: the bliss of pain and disease; hence the understanding of sorrow amidst joy and joy amidst sorrow.
Indeed, everything happens for a reason.
May 09, 2008
Encore, Spirit. Anchor, Mind
OmniGod: I am ready to take you even closer to me
Jesus: here, hear
Holy Ghost: I know you did not invite me to explain what exactly is going on; since you already know that wherever God and Jesus go, I tag along so of course I am here too; and no, Wisdom did not take that personally!
The other thing, speaking all at once with you will not freak out your heart
Your mind is beginning to get it: its well-honed defenses are no longer necessary and is accepting that; in no way does that mean it is not good; and so mind is accepting that is has nothing to force itself to prove. Not falling for the mind’s emptiness is the prerequisite to anchoring it. We know the world’s standard promotes and magnifies that losing one’s self in constant servitude is the best reward to getting rid of aloneness and, securing a spot in eternity’s banquet hall.
Jesus: here, hear
Holy Ghost: I know you did not invite me to explain what exactly is going on; since you already know that wherever God and Jesus go, I tag along so of course I am here too; and no, Wisdom did not take that personally!
The other thing, speaking all at once with you will not freak out your heart
Your mind is beginning to get it: its well-honed defenses are no longer necessary and is accepting that; in no way does that mean it is not good; and so mind is accepting that is has nothing to force itself to prove. Not falling for the mind’s emptiness is the prerequisite to anchoring it. We know the world’s standard promotes and magnifies that losing one’s self in constant servitude is the best reward to getting rid of aloneness and, securing a spot in eternity’s banquet hall.
That is not how triune meant it my protégé child. For a very long time you have known that; yet you somehow and for much valid reason kept on doing that which voids willingness of it’s divine flavour; thankfully though you used this as your escape to tame the havoc that was brewing inside so you could still tune in to the still mall voice. However, your rap sheet was getting longer and longer and your feeling of void was emitting curses down heaven’s chimney, like there’s no tomorrow. That is what happens when solemn solitude is misunderstood and in so doing, one's desire gets neglected, leaving the mind to feel hopelessly helplessly useless. Of course we chose to do nothing until deep wisdom took over and that is what patience and perseverance were using to get us to you and you to us. We also encouraged your insatiable curiosity about us, yourself and, all of humanity to invite you right back into our nest.
Does that make sense to you?
Are you there?
NA-EF: I am listening.
Does that mean I am permitted to speak?
Triune: perfect timing
NA-EF: So you all had it all planned, eh? Some things you already completed and some you keep making and shaping and remoulding. Is that how triune works?
Trio: Let’s just say we always on the ball and right on the button.
Does that satisfy your curiosity on this matter?
NA-EF: Aye, Intricate Intelligence
Trinity: So get used to doing that which you always wanted to enjoy doing, and along yourself to really feel good about fully satisfying the desire of your heart. Sustainable living will remove the unnecessary burden because even the triune does not want such a load hitched to its yoke. So what made you think that we would let you get away with coming along with all that we never added to your knapsack.
Then and again, soul knew that this would be enough to set off your wake me up when it’s time internal alarm clock. As you know now, the only way to turn this thing off is to switch off your clattering whining mind.
Of course when it got really loud we help reduce the impact on your overall being; still turning it off for you was out of the question.
We also knew that we would hear the end of your quiet desperation and insistent perseverance to really know us, firsthand would prevail. A test you were determined to pass even though it landed you in hell.
We knew your eyes were open when you realized that heaven and hell are mental bridges that can take you wherever you want to go, so long you remain responsible for the outcome between choosing life and death, which as you describe, is like inhaling and exhaling correctly.
It is interesting how you use Adam and Eve’s encounter and, Jesus’ resurrection story to make your point clear to yourself.
Many mental messages passed on from generation to generation without testing its validity, felt like godsends when in fact, they were aimed to cause havoc in the hope of tottering your ability to maintain your desire to rely on inner directedness. Of course like the serpent in Adam and Eve’s story sugar coated its treachery to make them- Adam and Eve- feel that they were ‘exposed’ and so they would suffer the same fate that it did, you almost fell for the misleading truth. The thing is we were watching the whole time at the snake’s strategy. You know that, like Adam and Eve you feel naked when deceived that we are separate from you and you from us; once you heard our voice and chose to come forward you were no longer ashamed of your vulnerability, thereafter. Yes, just like Jesus had to use his inner strength to roll away a stone place on the outside to secure the dark hole he was in; you figured out what your heart's truth is encouraging.
You know all too well that when truth zooms large it encores the spirit, half-truths shrinks small thereby anchoring the mind so that trust and love intertwine in one’s heart. Not even the minds’ best well-honed defense can beat that!
All is well my dear; all is well!
NA-EF: It’s good to know that!
So afraid, yet unafraid the mind continues to surrender as life seesaws between heaven and hell, I inhale and exhale.
Does that make sense to you?
Are you there?
NA-EF: I am listening.
Does that mean I am permitted to speak?
Triune: perfect timing
NA-EF: So you all had it all planned, eh? Some things you already completed and some you keep making and shaping and remoulding. Is that how triune works?
Trio: Let’s just say we always on the ball and right on the button.
Does that satisfy your curiosity on this matter?
NA-EF: Aye, Intricate Intelligence
Trinity: So get used to doing that which you always wanted to enjoy doing, and along yourself to really feel good about fully satisfying the desire of your heart. Sustainable living will remove the unnecessary burden because even the triune does not want such a load hitched to its yoke. So what made you think that we would let you get away with coming along with all that we never added to your knapsack.
Then and again, soul knew that this would be enough to set off your wake me up when it’s time internal alarm clock. As you know now, the only way to turn this thing off is to switch off your clattering whining mind.
Of course when it got really loud we help reduce the impact on your overall being; still turning it off for you was out of the question.
We also knew that we would hear the end of your quiet desperation and insistent perseverance to really know us, firsthand would prevail. A test you were determined to pass even though it landed you in hell.
We knew your eyes were open when you realized that heaven and hell are mental bridges that can take you wherever you want to go, so long you remain responsible for the outcome between choosing life and death, which as you describe, is like inhaling and exhaling correctly.
It is interesting how you use Adam and Eve’s encounter and, Jesus’ resurrection story to make your point clear to yourself.
Many mental messages passed on from generation to generation without testing its validity, felt like godsends when in fact, they were aimed to cause havoc in the hope of tottering your ability to maintain your desire to rely on inner directedness. Of course like the serpent in Adam and Eve’s story sugar coated its treachery to make them- Adam and Eve- feel that they were ‘exposed’ and so they would suffer the same fate that it did, you almost fell for the misleading truth. The thing is we were watching the whole time at the snake’s strategy. You know that, like Adam and Eve you feel naked when deceived that we are separate from you and you from us; once you heard our voice and chose to come forward you were no longer ashamed of your vulnerability, thereafter. Yes, just like Jesus had to use his inner strength to roll away a stone place on the outside to secure the dark hole he was in; you figured out what your heart's truth is encouraging.
You know all too well that when truth zooms large it encores the spirit, half-truths shrinks small thereby anchoring the mind so that trust and love intertwine in one’s heart. Not even the minds’ best well-honed defense can beat that!
All is well my dear; all is well!
NA-EF: It’s good to know that!
So afraid, yet unafraid the mind continues to surrender as life seesaws between heaven and hell, I inhale and exhale.
May 08, 2008
Taking my own medicine: a balancing act
To everything there is a season of balance and a season for balance. A season for dispensing medicine and season to take my own medicine…
For more than I can recall I was an expert in giving care; something that makes falling in love with me seem sometimes, so painstaking and more overwhelming that giving care to myself becomes a fulltime service that sometimes makes loving someone as I love myself seem impossible and strenuous even with all good intended purposes. So OmniGod and Jesus, how do you explain this? I know that in your sweet time you will.
May 07, 2008
Zestfully…Zestfully...Zestfully me
Now this is more like me, calm quiet and enjoying a hearty laugh. The last few days almost extinguish my determination to maintain a positive cheer though matter what! I wanted to so take that back!
Never give up was like a bittersweet dessert; still it was better than the desire to abandon my passion. I have to put apprehension in perspective. This requires a lot of patience and trust.
I do not know what I would do without being myself! There is good in accepting aloneness, after all!
Never give up was like a bittersweet dessert; still it was better than the desire to abandon my passion. I have to put apprehension in perspective. This requires a lot of patience and trust.
I do not know what I would do without being myself! There is good in accepting aloneness, after all!
May 06, 2008
Taking Care of Business
I know all too will that this would not be easy and that you were very innocent about your wanting to be in sync with the rhythm of your heart. You asked for something that only real, unhurried, uninterrupted way of living will suffice and somehow you feel that you made a mistake when you signed your prayer and dropped in my inbox. What you were doing is inviting me to come a little closer…just a little and as usual this is always music in heaven and hell. Subconsciously you want me to take care of all your worries but didn’t quite expect things to have turned out as they have, so far. You feel that so much time has elapsed and you do not seem too satisfied with the outlook. It is easy to clone the mind; heck it is even easy to clone a body, livestock and plants. Absolutely nothing can clone the soul or the way I know best how to bring about favourable outcomes. Remember that, my child…remember that and take heart my child; OmniGod is very pleased even though I do not always say so in words or even actions that matches your expectation. This is all part and parcel of how I teach you to trust your heart again.
Your heart is so happy that it feels like it is galloping and walloping in your chest and you somehow think that you are doing something wrong. Oh I tell you, those memories of what used to scare you are really trying to do a number on you, just don’t fall for their disguise and when they do, you know what to do!
Your heart is so happy that it feels like it is galloping and walloping in your chest and you somehow think that you are doing something wrong. Oh I tell you, those memories of what used to scare you are really trying to do a number on you, just don’t fall for their disguise and when they do, you know what to do!
Yours truly,
OmniGod
May 05, 2008
Emotional Eclipse
The temptation to choose restless listlessness instead of conscious awareness was driving me into the arms of impatience and this is always disquieting. It is like I fell off nature’s training bike just when I was gaining momentum. Why is that, I asked OmniGod? There was no response except for what felt like my energy just zapped out and I could not care whether day had changed to night or night was keeping watch over me.
I also noticed that my knapsack or rather, sarcophagus of buried, unfelt, unacknowledged, unaccepted emotions got fuller and fuller even after all that I have pulled out of it. Where did that come from and what is that doing there and whose is this? When will all this bruisers ever be fully addressed?
Anxiety was on the lookout, it knew that time would come- the time to reassess how much is still left to reach in, pick up, feel, accept and thank, yes thank! Express genuine gratitude for all that had been hiding in every cell of my body that is making me want to hide my face. Sometimes I can’t even talk because I feel like I will burst like over inflated balloons. Damn it, I do not even always know what to do. How do I deal with the monsters? All I can do at this point is sort through mine and leave the rest and remind myself that doing so is fair as I continue to choose to renew my vow to not take a single breath for granted. The trickle down effect is very draining and OmniGod knows I do not want to pass this on! Heck, I do not want it for myself!
This road I aim to travel seem to be much more bumpy than I bargained for. It’s as though I want to very much abandon the much-progressed distance I have trek. Some say the first step is the hardest and I am at a point where I beg to defer. I am very much inclined to say that every step is like the first until the last step, never mind that, it is after crossing the finish line and resting while I sleep with the vision of memories in my brain. I have a long way to go. I know scriptures say with the faith of a mustard seed I can say to any mountain to root up and fall in the ocean yet looking at the newness of life on the once naked and vulnerable trees, I say with shrill resignation and stubborn quietness that if these trees can endure then I too can also enjoy newness of the meaning of life and living- and leave the mountains where they are.
Thank you OmniGod for helping me deal with all my indignation and for releasing them harmlessly! Gratitude for the spirit of power, of love and of sound reasoning to help me remain self-responsible, dignified and sane
I also noticed that my knapsack or rather, sarcophagus of buried, unfelt, unacknowledged, unaccepted emotions got fuller and fuller even after all that I have pulled out of it. Where did that come from and what is that doing there and whose is this? When will all this bruisers ever be fully addressed?
Anxiety was on the lookout, it knew that time would come- the time to reassess how much is still left to reach in, pick up, feel, accept and thank, yes thank! Express genuine gratitude for all that had been hiding in every cell of my body that is making me want to hide my face. Sometimes I can’t even talk because I feel like I will burst like over inflated balloons. Damn it, I do not even always know what to do. How do I deal with the monsters? All I can do at this point is sort through mine and leave the rest and remind myself that doing so is fair as I continue to choose to renew my vow to not take a single breath for granted. The trickle down effect is very draining and OmniGod knows I do not want to pass this on! Heck, I do not want it for myself!
This road I aim to travel seem to be much more bumpy than I bargained for. It’s as though I want to very much abandon the much-progressed distance I have trek. Some say the first step is the hardest and I am at a point where I beg to defer. I am very much inclined to say that every step is like the first until the last step, never mind that, it is after crossing the finish line and resting while I sleep with the vision of memories in my brain. I have a long way to go. I know scriptures say with the faith of a mustard seed I can say to any mountain to root up and fall in the ocean yet looking at the newness of life on the once naked and vulnerable trees, I say with shrill resignation and stubborn quietness that if these trees can endure then I too can also enjoy newness of the meaning of life and living- and leave the mountains where they are.
Thank you OmniGod for helping me deal with all my indignation and for releasing them harmlessly! Gratitude for the spirit of power, of love and of sound reasoning to help me remain self-responsible, dignified and sane
May 04, 2008
What I did not learn in Sunday school
The greatest parable-using teacher left his mission fully open for critique knowing that his integrity would always be steadfast so long as his life was supported by good intention to all humanity. Even so, Jesus knew when to hide.: see John 8:59.
Can anyone begin to imagine or understand how empowering it is that the historian zoomed in on that detail of Jesus’ life. I would have never dreamt of thinking that Jesus ever sought cover, other than the times he carved out God and me time. More often than not, this most evolved person is depicted as superman-man as if this carpenter never hammered in the wrong nail on a job. It’s as if he was some pushover with a wicked bastard as his father. Sometimes Jesus was represented as someone who mankind is supposed to immitate, but in vain. To me it was as though the only way to do so was to sell one's right to sensible living. I figured maybe sarcasm was supposed to be Jesus' middle name. Far from all this concocted story of the one who encourages everyone to seek their place in the Kingdom, he had his moments and so he fully knew that entering God’s favour was hard yet conscientious work; that's why he took timeout even though he was about his Father's business. For all I know he probably preferred building houses or whatever little gigs he managed to be employed in, even though for three years.
True, I am not Jesus; nonetheless, knowing that even the Godman had his share of oops moments, makes incorporating his attitude a much more appealing choice with bouyant benefits.
Jesus was doing all the right things and still, God ended his earthly self. How it happened, still to me, is a bit disquieting. I would think that God would have been always at Jesus’ beck and call but the mere fact that Jesus cried out with a loud shout “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” says otherwise. Jesus never suffered in silence and his mind was near massacred even before calvary; and he needed timeouts on his way to sitting at the right side of the Father.
And so I continue to do what I can, doing what I sense that I am here to fulfill and when I feel my energy level depleting, I shout “ Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” and my faint and weary self find solace in Jesus' recommendation: ‘come away by yourself to a lonely place, and rest for a while.’ I used to think that was brutal joke. Now I see that he was talking the talk that even he needed. While I am at it, I better apologize to Jesus for all the fun I made of the stories depicting his God-man life. I even used to challenge God’s love when I was wrestling with the story that God allowed Jesus to die such a brutal death out of love for us and expects me to want to follow Christ’s footsteps to attain everlasting life. Are you kidding! I wanted the eternal life but skip the gruesomeness!
Then it is like Jesus decided to help me out in putting my uneasiness about imitating his life to rest by inviting me to one-on-one everyday lessons to explain what all the rave about his life is about...without the drama.
Now that is what I call knowing the truth that has set me free!
May 03, 2008
It's okay to cry!
I also used that as a chance to give voice to the cry of the ‘stronger gender’ who suffer much silent pain, choked tears, repressed emotions and quiet desperation, when faced with life's hullabaloo. Granted, I have very little idea of the burden of being machoman or superman; all I know is the human spirit is not made of stone, steel or even bones. After all, even Jesus groaned and sweated during his bone-tired weariness and mental agony.
Standing like a tall oak tree when life’s storms are inviting one to bend like a reed, only collapses the ego’s defenses, sometimes with devastating consequences. This 'big boys don't cry' syndrome is robbing men of their fairer sex persona and to me, that's not fair.
So here’s to everyone who needs to embrace the softer side of being human:
Just As You Are…Come
Here I am I have been waiting for you
I have so much to ask I have a lot to share
You got lot of explaining to do
Why is this happening to me? I have great reason
Would you do something?
I am surprised at you
I know how you feel
Is that how you care
More than you can ever know
Do you even care?
I am so angry with you, God
My love for you will never fade
Whatever…
Wife perished, children gone astray
Lost everything, filed for bankruptcy
What more do you plan to take away Bring me all your cares and fears
Nothing makes sense
Where are you in all this? I know it’s hard to imagine
Is that a punishment? I discipline
For what now… lack of faith? All will make sense one day
You expect me to believe that? Your brokenness, brokeness is real
Is that all you have to say?
Is that supposed to help? I understand your pain
Are you even there? Believe it or not I am listening
Keeping talking to me
Tell me exactly how you feel
Stay with me awhile
Well you gonna have to do better than that
I need more than that now Then ask, my child, for what it is you need
I have no clue how to pray right now
You are doing just that
Really?
You are not mad at me
For feeling the way I do? I call that honesty
Saying “ oh it’s okay”
Would be far from the truth
I can’t say I am okay yet
But I feel relieved I am here to comfort you
For that I can now say thank you
Just as you are…come
May 02, 2008
After a time...
All
Life events
Are like signposts
Helping me find my way
When I am lost and wandering
Next time I’m lost
I’ll look for the post
That points the way
To where I must go
The path of least résistance is fast becoming my popular route when I feel trapped in tangle woods of decision making in the realm of conscious living.
I let circumstances fully evolve into the lesson, resource or assistance it is here to deliver.
Like a cloud glides along its course with very little effort of its own and no dread of falling off the sky, I move along in the direction that miraculously spread out before me, indicating:
“This is the way. Follow it”
Life events
Are like signposts
Helping me find my way
When I am lost and wandering
Next time I’m lost
I’ll look for the post
That points the way
To where I must go
The path of least résistance is fast becoming my popular route when I feel trapped in tangle woods of decision making in the realm of conscious living.
I let circumstances fully evolve into the lesson, resource or assistance it is here to deliver.
Like a cloud glides along its course with very little effort of its own and no dread of falling off the sky, I move along in the direction that miraculously spread out before me, indicating:
“This is the way. Follow it”
May 01, 2008
Budget-mindedness of conscious spending
Another blossoming habit worthy of note is that I am able to, after the last penny in the pocket book is spent, I can still enjoy the abundance of unlimited resources.
As much as I would want to cry over the jugs and oceans of spilt milk; I rather choose to remind myself that there is still much more and much creamier milk where the source of all good is created.
Sometime that is like an oversize capsule to swallow with a teaspoon of milk still, I let my saliva of trust glide it down safely knowing that in time it will manifest its effect.
During those times acting the part life scripted instead of the one I crafted, is a masterpiece. Magic and creativity takes on a whole new meaning in the ballgame called living!
As much as I would want to cry over the jugs and oceans of spilt milk; I rather choose to remind myself that there is still much more and much creamier milk where the source of all good is created.
Sometime that is like an oversize capsule to swallow with a teaspoon of milk still, I let my saliva of trust glide it down safely knowing that in time it will manifest its effect.
During those times acting the part life scripted instead of the one I crafted, is a masterpiece. Magic and creativity takes on a whole new meaning in the ballgame called living!