Before I could add my own beliefs to my repertoire of thoughts and ideas I had to rid myself of all dormant feelings and allow emotions to surface so I could irradiate them so they never return, lots of time to reflect on my strengths, values, dreams, stumbling blocks and stepping stones.
The rewards are beginning to flow. Since God is my lifetime guarantor, I can only take what's happening now as a sign of many more wonders from OmniGod.
With that in mind I enjoy the moment; enjoy the experience.
I can continue to recharge, renew, refresh and retreat. In doing so, I found ways to pamper myself into wellness with little indulgences with an appreciation for the ordinary things in life.
I recommit me life and say: Here I am God.
August 30, 2007
August 29, 2007
šālôm ‘ălêkem- Peace and blessings
These are two gifts that God wants me to enjoy even when the or rather especially when the going is rough.
Gone are the days when I used to argue with God about the possibility that I would live long enough to enjoy peace and blessings before my breath runs out of oxygen.
Oh I can still just hear God whisper ‘time will tell’!
How can I ever argue with God and win!
Even living 120 more years would not be enough time to accomplish this task so I lay down the need to always want to put God into a box. Doing so would confine me to a coffin long before God determined. I will, come what may, have reverence for God as I continue to stand in awe of all God can do.
And as Deuteronomy reminded me, or maybe it was a warning… “life or death…choose which you want!”
Life, I‘ll say… Life of Peace and blessings
Gone are the days when I used to argue with God about the possibility that I would live long enough to enjoy peace and blessings before my breath runs out of oxygen.
Oh I can still just hear God whisper ‘time will tell’!
How can I ever argue with God and win!
Even living 120 more years would not be enough time to accomplish this task so I lay down the need to always want to put God into a box. Doing so would confine me to a coffin long before God determined. I will, come what may, have reverence for God as I continue to stand in awe of all God can do.
And as Deuteronomy reminded me, or maybe it was a warning… “life or death…choose which you want!”
Life, I‘ll say… Life of Peace and blessings
August 28, 2007
מזל טוב- Matzel Tov
So many times I have asked, oh God why me?
To which God firmly reply, why not you, my chosen one, why not you?
Then I remember biblical promises that suffering is God’s way of making sure I yield to Divine so that I don’t get all puffed up. In everyday language it is called humility. Yet another quality that has me in the refiner’s fire. So that I always remember that God is at work, in other words, the mêlée is God’s to unbattle and so the praise and victory is God’s and of course I receive my full portion!
Not too long ago I confessed to God that my faith was far from that of the three Hebrew brothers. I imagine God smiling and nodding in agreement knowing that this was so, only for a while…then God flashed a banner across the sky of my mind:
Matzel Tov on trussing me as your Lifetime Guarantor- time after time!
Matzel Tov-time after time!
To which God firmly reply, why not you, my chosen one, why not you?
Then I remember biblical promises that suffering is God’s way of making sure I yield to Divine so that I don’t get all puffed up. In everyday language it is called humility. Yet another quality that has me in the refiner’s fire. So that I always remember that God is at work, in other words, the mêlée is God’s to unbattle and so the praise and victory is God’s and of course I receive my full portion!
Not too long ago I confessed to God that my faith was far from that of the three Hebrew brothers. I imagine God smiling and nodding in agreement knowing that this was so, only for a while…then God flashed a banner across the sky of my mind:
Matzel Tov on trussing me as your Lifetime Guarantor- time after time!
Matzel Tov-time after time!
August 27, 2007
Trusting...trusting, 1.2.3!
Keeping my promise to not ever run away from God is causing me to invent prayers that I would rather not request and why not! After all, that is what keeps my sprite pure and my spirit true to its intention even though some times find me wishing I had not made such a pact with God. Then and again better with God than anyone else because at least God does not abuse integrity and dignity- and God know I can tell it off !
Still I have questions, God.
If I ask you about the reason behind all your well-thought-of plans would that make me a not trusting child, a disobedient little girl, a stubborn, unworthy person?
I do not know if or how I can even begin to continue to please you anymore, God!
Trusting, well I continue to do my best, okay!
A distant whisper
Overcoming the noise
Spiritual bliss
Still I have questions, God.
If I ask you about the reason behind all your well-thought-of plans would that make me a not trusting child, a disobedient little girl, a stubborn, unworthy person?
I do not know if or how I can even begin to continue to please you anymore, God!
Trusting, well I continue to do my best, okay!
A distant whisper
Overcoming the noise
Spiritual bliss
August 26, 2007
Listening to God's Voice
These days I have not much to say because I am busy listening to God, unhurried and undisturbed to the point that even my mental clatter has ceased.
Giving God my undivided attention requires me to really stop all my harsh brash interludes of one on one. It took a lot of practise and tests well the test was often a repeat because I kept missing the mark!
Finally, I can listen to God’s voice; this is something I want to continuously do because when I really acknowledge Omnipresence, my humming harmonizes to the tune of life’s music and I choreograph my dreams with ease and grace.
Giving God my undivided attention requires me to really stop all my harsh brash interludes of one on one. It took a lot of practise and tests well the test was often a repeat because I kept missing the mark!
Finally, I can listen to God’s voice; this is something I want to continuously do because when I really acknowledge Omnipresence, my humming harmonizes to the tune of life’s music and I choreograph my dreams with ease and grace.
August 25, 2007
Come What May- God is still in control
The fact that God is a God who is merciful and unconditionally loving is what keeps me holding on to the promise of eternal life here on earth.
Curiously I anticipate what God has in store for me, even when a wind temporarily disturbs and threaten to deluge my understanding of God, first hand. The wave ruffles the pool’s surface, yet the water beneath remains still, and calm is soon restored to the surface.
Thank God for not giving me more than I can handle.
Curiously I anticipate what God has in store for me, even when a wind temporarily disturbs and threaten to deluge my understanding of God, first hand. The wave ruffles the pool’s surface, yet the water beneath remains still, and calm is soon restored to the surface.
Thank God for not giving me more than I can handle.
August 24, 2007
WOW!
When God says, time be still; time obeys- without arguments!
When I ask God to do something to remind me that all is well I see wonders that only OmniGod can successfully accomplish.
Transformation of what is supposed to be becomes what is! No arguments!
WOW God!
That’s all I have to say today!
When I ask God to do something to remind me that all is well I see wonders that only OmniGod can successfully accomplish.
Transformation of what is supposed to be becomes what is! No arguments!
WOW God!
That’s all I have to say today!
August 23, 2007
The Bright Side of the Road
Prejudging the result of a new learning opportunity based on previous experience is a cul-de-sac mentality that only renders the highest good far-fetched.
Needless to say when God confronted me on this premise I had to plead culpable. The truth made me feel like when God’s light on the road to Damascus blinded Paul. Talk about insight about the real deterrent in seeing things through heavens’ eye and the disadvantaged position it placed me on the less crowded road. That explains the detours along the way and worse, spinning my wheels yet seeing the same old scenery...
I approached a lot of God’s tests based on my fears and predetermined the outcome on the basis of post traumatic trance states.
Is it any wonder that I kept getting the same damned results even in a new situation and having new situations present the same blasted lessons!
Well I thank you God for answering my request in either keeping things simple or giving me the clarity I know jolly well that I needed to come from you, Omniscience.
For a while, I was really ticked with God for not giving me the hints that can remove me from the gully, until one day I ask God to “do something! That request came out with a trailer load of passion, surrender and a twinge of stubbornness.
God wasted no time to release to me all the parachutes that I needed. That was when I realized that I had been droning instead of asking for Divine Intervention and conversely that is when I began seeing all those distractions playing a double role- they were scarecrows or steppingstones- depending how I chose to envisage them!
God is not an invigilator during life’s exam waiting to put a big red X next to every mistake. On the contrary God is there so we can ask for answers, seek guidance and even, at least in my case, request for a timeout or two or however many I need.
The quicker I ask for the help I need, the quicker God reveals the right outcome and the readier I am to receive my highest good.
Thank you God for the countless opportunities that assist me in seeing life's array as the steppingstones with your footprints already stamped on them.
Another lesson learnt! I know that you can continue to give me many more steppingstones to help me to practise and, to teach what I learn.
Thanks!
Needless to say when God confronted me on this premise I had to plead culpable. The truth made me feel like when God’s light on the road to Damascus blinded Paul. Talk about insight about the real deterrent in seeing things through heavens’ eye and the disadvantaged position it placed me on the less crowded road. That explains the detours along the way and worse, spinning my wheels yet seeing the same old scenery...
I approached a lot of God’s tests based on my fears and predetermined the outcome on the basis of post traumatic trance states.
Is it any wonder that I kept getting the same damned results even in a new situation and having new situations present the same blasted lessons!
Well I thank you God for answering my request in either keeping things simple or giving me the clarity I know jolly well that I needed to come from you, Omniscience.
For a while, I was really ticked with God for not giving me the hints that can remove me from the gully, until one day I ask God to “do something! That request came out with a trailer load of passion, surrender and a twinge of stubbornness.
God wasted no time to release to me all the parachutes that I needed. That was when I realized that I had been droning instead of asking for Divine Intervention and conversely that is when I began seeing all those distractions playing a double role- they were scarecrows or steppingstones- depending how I chose to envisage them!
God is not an invigilator during life’s exam waiting to put a big red X next to every mistake. On the contrary God is there so we can ask for answers, seek guidance and even, at least in my case, request for a timeout or two or however many I need.
The quicker I ask for the help I need, the quicker God reveals the right outcome and the readier I am to receive my highest good.
Thank you God for the countless opportunities that assist me in seeing life's array as the steppingstones with your footprints already stamped on them.
Another lesson learnt! I know that you can continue to give me many more steppingstones to help me to practise and, to teach what I learn.
Thanks!
August 22, 2007
The meaning of 'rest' in God’s dictionary
God: Back off Angeal-Eyes, I… I …I’ve got it!
Angeal-Eyes: But, but, but….but you do not understand God, you take forever!
God: Angeal-Eyes! Rest…rest ~I am in charge, here
Angeal-Eyes: That’s what you always say when I decide to take over the process from you.
God: There are curveballs at various points of the journey that only I know how to manoeuvre. One minute you agree for me to be your director and next you fire the CEO and sail away solo. Then when you meet those "lecture halls", your mind spins around looking for me, the ultimate instructor. I know that you do that all because you know that I am way too loving, and compassionate to let you suffer needlessly... and you know what my beloved, you are right!
Angeal-Eyes: All right... all right… you take over the driver’s seat and wake me up when we get there, whereever there is!!!
God: That’s a girl! You can trust me to get us on par with our intention...together. That is my ironclad agreement with you!
God (singing): sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace
Angeal-Eyes: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Angeal-Eyes: But, but, but….but you do not understand God, you take forever!
God: Angeal-Eyes! Rest…rest ~I am in charge, here
Angeal-Eyes: That’s what you always say when I decide to take over the process from you.
God: There are curveballs at various points of the journey that only I know how to manoeuvre. One minute you agree for me to be your director and next you fire the CEO and sail away solo. Then when you meet those "lecture halls", your mind spins around looking for me, the ultimate instructor. I know that you do that all because you know that I am way too loving, and compassionate to let you suffer needlessly... and you know what my beloved, you are right!
Angeal-Eyes: All right... all right… you take over the driver’s seat and wake me up when we get there, whereever there is!!!
God: That’s a girl! You can trust me to get us on par with our intention...together. That is my ironclad agreement with you!
God (singing): sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace
Angeal-Eyes: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
August 21, 2007
Tide is high...
Still, God sails
Though I feel like a ship tossed about by tumultuous waves in far ends of the ocean, I lay in the stern of the boat…undisturbed and fearless!
Gone are the days when every little delay in the unfolding of my time-factored outcome of goals would stall faith and trust in Almighty God only to find out in hindsight that God did not pull the plug on the desires of my heart.
Instead every thing that happened fulfil just what is in ways I fathom not. Each time I thought God was abandoning me I help God to reconsider its reason for creating me, when all the while God was already assisting me and life to work favourable! What did I know! Even my best method was very puny and still very valid and valuable.
Now that God has given me some experience under my belt, I understand that nothing can suspend Gods’ plan… not even high tides of rough ‘n’ tough situations.
Though I feel like a ship tossed about by tumultuous waves in far ends of the ocean, I lay in the stern of the boat…undisturbed and fearless!
Gone are the days when every little delay in the unfolding of my time-factored outcome of goals would stall faith and trust in Almighty God only to find out in hindsight that God did not pull the plug on the desires of my heart.
Instead every thing that happened fulfil just what is in ways I fathom not. Each time I thought God was abandoning me I help God to reconsider its reason for creating me, when all the while God was already assisting me and life to work favourable! What did I know! Even my best method was very puny and still very valid and valuable.
Now that God has given me some experience under my belt, I understand that nothing can suspend Gods’ plan… not even high tides of rough ‘n’ tough situations.
August 20, 2007
Glorious Goal
August 19, 2007
Blessings in disguise
I thank God for removing my ignorance of what appear to be a snail when in fact it is bread. It is manna from Heaven!
Thanks to experience, practise and hindsight I now discern God’s fingerprints in every challenge, in every celebration, in every opportunity; therefore I find joy in each new adventure.
Rejoice~the Serenity prayer really works!
I used to think that God lets me down by giving me all these brown-bagged presents and so I used to just toss them aside with the treasure still encased.
Oh how I confessed my disappointed of God to God live and direct! The air became still and I thought God had become deaf after my earful of truth…I sighed and I wondered… what have I done now!
Oh Evay!
Just when I was about to stomp away, a gentle breeze stroked my face and my heart fluttered and my soul rumbled in revelry. I then realized that God was silent because God wanted me to experiences the answer to my prayers live and direct!
I thanked God for accepting my confession!
Talk about Haphakh!
Cultivating God-confidence was a prize worth going for!
Thanks to experience, practise and hindsight I now discern God’s fingerprints in every challenge, in every celebration, in every opportunity; therefore I find joy in each new adventure.
Rejoice~the Serenity prayer really works!
I used to think that God lets me down by giving me all these brown-bagged presents and so I used to just toss them aside with the treasure still encased.
Oh how I confessed my disappointed of God to God live and direct! The air became still and I thought God had become deaf after my earful of truth…I sighed and I wondered… what have I done now!
Oh Evay!
Just when I was about to stomp away, a gentle breeze stroked my face and my heart fluttered and my soul rumbled in revelry. I then realized that God was silent because God wanted me to experiences the answer to my prayers live and direct!
I thanked God for accepting my confession!
Talk about Haphakh!
Cultivating God-confidence was a prize worth going for!
August 18, 2007
Trodding the path of least resistance
Accomplishing the task of ‘letting God’ was something only Mother Earth could manage to successfully teach me, and admirably watch me as I practise her skill of least resistance.
The trees swaying gently, restfully, or briskly which ever is most appropriate. The sun blasting its bout of sunshine even when it lets the cloud ’win’. The birds singing, even though they are soaking wet and maybe even hungry or sad.
The rivers swelling as they rush to the sea; and well, the sea enjoying a moment of restlessness before the calm!
Knowing that God never pushes me beyond my ability, I let go. God intends to always be there to help me come through whatever happens.
Aham!
The trees swaying gently, restfully, or briskly which ever is most appropriate. The sun blasting its bout of sunshine even when it lets the cloud ’win’. The birds singing, even though they are soaking wet and maybe even hungry or sad.
The rivers swelling as they rush to the sea; and well, the sea enjoying a moment of restlessness before the calm!
Knowing that God never pushes me beyond my ability, I let go. God intends to always be there to help me come through whatever happens.
Aham!
August 17, 2007
Off-the-hook
August 16, 2007
Defining Personal Space
I was doing everything as suggested by well meaning people who had the lantern that shed light along the path that leads to eternal life.
It is not long ago on my journey with God that he nudged me to tell him my personal idea of what I think on this, that and everything imaginable. I was mute. I had no original perspective in my conscious intellect. I asked Wisdom what’s that got to do with God and my desire to attain ad infinitum!
After taking a long hard fast about what God was saying to me I almost dismissed it because what he said had nothing to do with my questions in his inbox.
God wasted no time and said, my dear, how do you know what you want, why you want it, and most of all, who you are, really child, who are you? I created you with your own values, I took great pleasure in designing you from an original mould and I need you just as I designed you, Miss Prodigy.
My jaw dropped, my eyes bulged, and I almost froze or maybe I began to defrost because the sweat began pouring out like a jet stream!
For once, I did not have an answer for God!
That was more than a decade ago and I am still working on defining my point of view, my very own point of view and that is a lot of work… that is no jest. This is serious business because until that aligns back to its original image I remain in the Refiner’s Fire.
So with God as Guide, me as my CEO, Mother Earth as my cheerleader and Father Time as my reminder I continue to be Wisdom-dependent and work on the lessons of setting clear boundaries and goals every step in life’s process.
It is not long ago on my journey with God that he nudged me to tell him my personal idea of what I think on this, that and everything imaginable. I was mute. I had no original perspective in my conscious intellect. I asked Wisdom what’s that got to do with God and my desire to attain ad infinitum!
After taking a long hard fast about what God was saying to me I almost dismissed it because what he said had nothing to do with my questions in his inbox.
God wasted no time and said, my dear, how do you know what you want, why you want it, and most of all, who you are, really child, who are you? I created you with your own values, I took great pleasure in designing you from an original mould and I need you just as I designed you, Miss Prodigy.
My jaw dropped, my eyes bulged, and I almost froze or maybe I began to defrost because the sweat began pouring out like a jet stream!
For once, I did not have an answer for God!
That was more than a decade ago and I am still working on defining my point of view, my very own point of view and that is a lot of work… that is no jest. This is serious business because until that aligns back to its original image I remain in the Refiner’s Fire.
So with God as Guide, me as my CEO, Mother Earth as my cheerleader and Father Time as my reminder I continue to be Wisdom-dependent and work on the lessons of setting clear boundaries and goals every step in life’s process.
August 15, 2007
Whaaaaaw!
The teller of instant time just asked me such a profound question that made awakeness a good state to be in right now.
“When is now not now, my dear prodigy?”
First of all I pinched myself, and then congratulate myself even before I agreed to give this questioner of validity an answer of some Sourceful substance.
I was always the one with the questions. Imagine me surprised and, unsurprised that God has questions. Questions it is confident that I have the answer to, might I admit, the right, never mind right, it is the accurate and appropriate answer.
Howly! Holy Whaw!
“When is now not now, my dear prodigy?”
First of all I pinched myself, and then congratulate myself even before I agreed to give this questioner of validity an answer of some Sourceful substance.
I was always the one with the questions. Imagine me surprised and, unsurprised that God has questions. Questions it is confident that I have the answer to, might I admit, the right, never mind right, it is the accurate and appropriate answer.
Howly! Holy Whaw!
August 14, 2007
The way God presents the tests
I often thought that God's test would get easier and easier with each one I pass and continue to practise, especially after such a one on one that made time stand at attention.
However the opposite is what God intends to apply to my daily practise of letting Wisdom take charge to bring about God's highest good for me.
Sometime I have trouble making sense of this immutable truth yet this is all I have to stand on when God is ready to firmly ground me, in divine order, on my destined path.
Looking at my last few requests to God it is evident that I must be getting to the point where being in constant awareness is paying off in ways that I did not think all those challenges were for my highest good.
Being sick and tired of being sick and tired of guessing what God wants of me I decided to just do the most obvious that took me the longest time to do… just be blunt with God and ask directly what on earth am I suppose to do and how do I do it according to your style.
Like boulders on the edge of a cliff, answers began rolling into my consciousness like they were just waiting to be released…. Some of which may have been backlogged for a very long time…and as the saying goes ‘better late than never’.
Now more than ever I need discernment for the rest of the way… I receive all that I need by talking with Omniscience, directly.
However the opposite is what God intends to apply to my daily practise of letting Wisdom take charge to bring about God's highest good for me.
Sometime I have trouble making sense of this immutable truth yet this is all I have to stand on when God is ready to firmly ground me, in divine order, on my destined path.
Looking at my last few requests to God it is evident that I must be getting to the point where being in constant awareness is paying off in ways that I did not think all those challenges were for my highest good.
Being sick and tired of being sick and tired of guessing what God wants of me I decided to just do the most obvious that took me the longest time to do… just be blunt with God and ask directly what on earth am I suppose to do and how do I do it according to your style.
Like boulders on the edge of a cliff, answers began rolling into my consciousness like they were just waiting to be released…. Some of which may have been backlogged for a very long time…and as the saying goes ‘better late than never’.
Now more than ever I need discernment for the rest of the way… I receive all that I need by talking with Omniscience, directly.
August 13, 2007
Step by Step!
Sometimes when Wisdom initiates an idea it seem like God was not yet finished with the instruction. I am still reminiscing about our most intimate dialogue, yet Wisdom is telling me it is time for the next step.
Okay God, explain this to me!
The last thing you said was rest on the trail of endurance, and already it is time to resume our journey on the path of least resistance?
Anyway I can count on you to guide me so I agree to move along...
Step by step!
Okay God, explain this to me!
The last thing you said was rest on the trail of endurance, and already it is time to resume our journey on the path of least resistance?
Anyway I can count on you to guide me so I agree to move along...
Step by step!
August 12, 2007
A Hot Date With God---mm...mm..mm..mmmmmm!!!!
The daily business of living have taken me to a point where I can pry into God’s intelligence ad lib- uninterrupted, unhurried and uncensored.
When God takes me on a date this is no time to turn back. God is about to test me in ways that only omniscience can prove to me that I am in God’s company; as scared as I would want to be and curious as to this date with God, I know all is well when God escorts me on a date.
In fact lately I have been on so many rendezvous with God that this one did not take me off guard even though I did not quite know when this test would be, I knew it would come because Omnipotence likes to make sure that I can handle the God-size ingredients in my soul.
The same things I used to think were proof that I am chopped liver is the same thing that proves I that the things that frighten me and tempt me to divorce myself from my soul!
I have much more to learn and this sometimes scares me because as I mentioned earlier the assignments make me feel like David facing Goliath.
So like, David when God says time to put your talents to work I say ‘what time I am afraid God is my strength’.
When God takes me on a date this is no time to turn back. God is about to test me in ways that only omniscience can prove to me that I am in God’s company; as scared as I would want to be and curious as to this date with God, I know all is well when God escorts me on a date.
In fact lately I have been on so many rendezvous with God that this one did not take me off guard even though I did not quite know when this test would be, I knew it would come because Omnipotence likes to make sure that I can handle the God-size ingredients in my soul.
The same things I used to think were proof that I am chopped liver is the same thing that proves I that the things that frighten me and tempt me to divorce myself from my soul!
I have much more to learn and this sometimes scares me because as I mentioned earlier the assignments make me feel like David facing Goliath.
So like, David when God says time to put your talents to work I say ‘what time I am afraid God is my strength’.
August 11, 2007
Anger: unexpressed passion
The passion, yes the burning desires to be myself was choked by all the thoughts that being and expressing the alluring creature I am is unworthy in God’s sight. My zest for being alive was always my biggest goal yet for decades I kept hiding my desires because they seemed far from what God was encouraging me to do- accept my whole person. I felt that some part of me was totally lopsided and misaligned with God’s idea of a whole person.
So I buried my passionate soul and did everything to keep it from reminding me that I have feelings and that they are real, just like God is real. I kept thinking if I felt in certain ways contrary to what God expects of me then God should have been selective about the desires he planted in my soul. I would say to God, “But God, wouldn’t that be very displeasing to you?” only to have spirit dismissed my nonsense and goon on with its cry that I cease bowdlerizing it each time it wants to express itself.
I used to wonder why would God make me with such a zesty, alluring soul and then let it build up until I had to conjure unfaithful thoughts about it and then remind my spirit that God must have been crazy to give me something that God would refrain me from enjoying as part of my sacredness and then taunt me about it ever so often to the point that accepting my sanctity felt like murder of my most innermost self.
I was this close to wanting to attempt living a vapid life as I kept denying myself of my most intimate self, and despising the fact that keeping myself extremely busy to not dwell on my feelings was never enough to make God take them away or stop them from surfacing- period.
I figure and sense that it must be of some good to God so I ask God to help me to love everything about myself and that includes my feelings, my soul and it passionate personality. God said a loud amen and assured me that without being in touch with my feelings I would not be in touch with myself or God!
The anger subsided and my soul breathed a sigh of salvation!!! Oohh lalah
!
So I buried my passionate soul and did everything to keep it from reminding me that I have feelings and that they are real, just like God is real. I kept thinking if I felt in certain ways contrary to what God expects of me then God should have been selective about the desires he planted in my soul. I would say to God, “But God, wouldn’t that be very displeasing to you?” only to have spirit dismissed my nonsense and goon on with its cry that I cease bowdlerizing it each time it wants to express itself.
I used to wonder why would God make me with such a zesty, alluring soul and then let it build up until I had to conjure unfaithful thoughts about it and then remind my spirit that God must have been crazy to give me something that God would refrain me from enjoying as part of my sacredness and then taunt me about it ever so often to the point that accepting my sanctity felt like murder of my most innermost self.
I was this close to wanting to attempt living a vapid life as I kept denying myself of my most intimate self, and despising the fact that keeping myself extremely busy to not dwell on my feelings was never enough to make God take them away or stop them from surfacing- period.
I figure and sense that it must be of some good to God so I ask God to help me to love everything about myself and that includes my feelings, my soul and it passionate personality. God said a loud amen and assured me that without being in touch with my feelings I would not be in touch with myself or God!
The anger subsided and my soul breathed a sigh of salvation!!! Oohh lalah
!
August 10, 2007
Running on the course of perseverance
I do not know what is around the corner however I know that a lesson has been taught and I have to go through the period of testing …again! When will this end God! Scratch that because I already know the answer... I know you want me to be your chosen candidate for your harvest time!
You already reminded me that all is well; even though the darkness is casting its spell you are whispering to me to come. Like Peter I have, so many times, remove my focus on you and unto the stormy sea. Like the apostles caught in the storm who beckoned for Jesus and when Jesus began to walk towards them they thought it was a ghost gliding on the water… You know how I feel, God! That is why I have been quarrelling with you and thus far I have been able to praise you, only because I recall all the other times you used me to accomplish your purpose!
And so I continue to run on the course of perseverance
You already reminded me that all is well; even though the darkness is casting its spell you are whispering to me to come. Like Peter I have, so many times, remove my focus on you and unto the stormy sea. Like the apostles caught in the storm who beckoned for Jesus and when Jesus began to walk towards them they thought it was a ghost gliding on the water… You know how I feel, God! That is why I have been quarrelling with you and thus far I have been able to praise you, only because I recall all the other times you used me to accomplish your purpose!
And so I continue to run on the course of perseverance
August 09, 2007
Slip sliding away...Many Paths to Tread on the Journey
I sense that I am this close to Gods’ extravagant love.
So why am I so impertinent that this is so?
Well maybe I do not want to get my hopes too high in case there is some sought of delay on the way. Or I receive a memo from God saying this was all a big joke!
God already knows why I feel like I am longing for what God promised to me and at the same time feel like I am wasting my time waiting for the promises. I have nothing to compare God to and yet it seem I have so much to compare God to; only none of them make sense, anymore!
I pray God that it is not much longer before I firmly grasp God because right now nothing else matters and frankly there’s nothing left to try to get closer to God; therefore I continue to dream on, be still; wait patiently along the many paths- one of them will inevitable lead to God’s love…eventually lead me to God!
One day God will find me... one day I will find God!
One day I will finally accept that God never left me and I never left God
And this 'seek me and you will find me' nonsense will hold a whole different meaning in my consciousness.
So why am I so impertinent that this is so?
Well maybe I do not want to get my hopes too high in case there is some sought of delay on the way. Or I receive a memo from God saying this was all a big joke!
God already knows why I feel like I am longing for what God promised to me and at the same time feel like I am wasting my time waiting for the promises. I have nothing to compare God to and yet it seem I have so much to compare God to; only none of them make sense, anymore!
I pray God that it is not much longer before I firmly grasp God because right now nothing else matters and frankly there’s nothing left to try to get closer to God; therefore I continue to dream on, be still; wait patiently along the many paths- one of them will inevitable lead to God’s love…eventually lead me to God!
One day God will find me... one day I will find God!
One day I will finally accept that God never left me and I never left God
And this 'seek me and you will find me' nonsense will hold a whole different meaning in my consciousness.
August 08, 2007
Snow on the ground in August- what a vision, God!
It is more than a week that I keep envisaging snow on the ground during the month of August.
This is mid summer in the Northern Hemisphere where air conditioners are working overtime, snow tires are hibernating, golf courses transform to outdoor offices and home away from home…fluffy white snowflakes lies peacefully on the ground!
What is that suppose to mean, Dear Omniscience?
If ever I need a strong dose of discernment, it is now Dear Omnipotence for it is you who make all things come true.
Mother Earth, what are you and Father Sun up to?
It is very intriguing and who knows, maybe you are encouraging me to enrich my imagination or getting me to realize that change in temperature, falling leaves, naked trees, and sprouting blooms are not always going to be indicative of the season, or of the times… and rightly so!
Maybe the time has come when God decides to part the Red Sea!
God, you always have some mysterious ways of revealing your insignia- snow in August!
That’s an interesting one! A real attention-grabber!
I can just imagine the headlines- God on the loose! Don’t panic! Or would it be, God on the loose! Time to panic!
Now that's a newsflash for our times!
This is mid summer in the Northern Hemisphere where air conditioners are working overtime, snow tires are hibernating, golf courses transform to outdoor offices and home away from home…fluffy white snowflakes lies peacefully on the ground!
What is that suppose to mean, Dear Omniscience?
If ever I need a strong dose of discernment, it is now Dear Omnipotence for it is you who make all things come true.
Mother Earth, what are you and Father Sun up to?
It is very intriguing and who knows, maybe you are encouraging me to enrich my imagination or getting me to realize that change in temperature, falling leaves, naked trees, and sprouting blooms are not always going to be indicative of the season, or of the times… and rightly so!
Maybe the time has come when God decides to part the Red Sea!
God, you always have some mysterious ways of revealing your insignia- snow in August!
That’s an interesting one! A real attention-grabber!
I can just imagine the headlines- God on the loose! Don’t panic! Or would it be, God on the loose! Time to panic!
Now that's a newsflash for our times!
August 07, 2007
Reverence to Undying Love
I enthusiastically agree to not let old beliefs cast it spell to end my relationship with God; I know that this spell is virtually powerless. I know that God prevails and presides in me. I was this close to give up on God! I suppose God knew that is what it would take to stretch my zeal and passion to a level that my imagination was capable of conceiving and manifesting. It is almost like God wanted to prove my desire to remain faithful to undying love.
Was I in for a rude awakening? I had been able to define love; however, I had not ever experience the kind of love yet somehow I knew this kind of love is readily available and I was ready for love as God ordain it!
As much as I was ready to receive, a part of me kept telling me that God would hold back from me. That infuriated me and at the same time made me determined as ever to get God’s attention; hence all the needless affray with God.
Thank you God for putting up with my fussing and fighting with you for something that you had already freely endowed me with.
Was I in for a rude awakening? I had been able to define love; however, I had not ever experience the kind of love yet somehow I knew this kind of love is readily available and I was ready for love as God ordain it!
As much as I was ready to receive, a part of me kept telling me that God would hold back from me. That infuriated me and at the same time made me determined as ever to get God’s attention; hence all the needless affray with God.
Thank you God for putting up with my fussing and fighting with you for something that you had already freely endowed me with.
August 06, 2007
Buttressing
August 05, 2007
Effortless Ease
August 04, 2007
The dance with 'darkness'
Dying while I am still alive has been a highly attainable quest. I was, at first, thinking that this was a ludicrous pact with myself. Then and again there comes a point when living without my essence is not an option. Entertaining the idea to prove that God and eternal life have nothing to do with mouldering in a grave was a challenge I was not about to give up no matter how crazy I was becoming. Mouldering in a grave waiting for all the things describes in Revelation was surely a more absurd aspiration than my quest for eternity while I am alive and full of vigour with breath surfing in my being.
Once I set my feet on the road that leads to Paradise I began rewriting my belief about God; of God. Each layer of the past that violated my bond with God was shattered. I was not always in agreement with how God planned the programme to accomplish His Purpose and in hindsight my underlying goal; yet even when I was dragging my feet and pouting at God, I was all for letting God unbound me from the illusion that God and I are separate and that my absolute connection is only identified by the taboos, norms, mores, dogmas and rules as defined and outlined by beliefs invented by fellow human beings.
I travelled high and low and around this groove that seem like the most dangerous precipice and if I miss that aim … oh yo yoy! my most serious mission was seeming more and more something I should abandon. Still I was very adamant at making that leap over that gap that seems to keep God off limits and be on the same side as God!
I began to argue with God until I thought God could take no more ranting and raving from me. I imagine God running away from my fury! I prayed all kinds of prayers pleading that God end this formidable distance so I can enjoy this pursuit. Then God was all this time God was using his omnipotence to attract my spirit and making me more conscious of my divinity. It was then that I realized that the problem was all in the condition of my perception. I began overcoming the limitation of form and let my life float in the realm of uncertainty and my consciousness of my connection with God and watched the gap closed.
Phew!
I am still breathing, in touch with God and taking this dying as death of false notions and rational of God. Looking back at all the times I scrambled on the way beneath my cross of “letting go the comfort and the wounds”, I understand what Jesus’ Calvary was like.
I know for sure that God and I are one. In fact there was never any actual severing from God and me and so there is no need to struggle to win the race to make it to the pearly gates!
Once I set my feet on the road that leads to Paradise I began rewriting my belief about God; of God. Each layer of the past that violated my bond with God was shattered. I was not always in agreement with how God planned the programme to accomplish His Purpose and in hindsight my underlying goal; yet even when I was dragging my feet and pouting at God, I was all for letting God unbound me from the illusion that God and I are separate and that my absolute connection is only identified by the taboos, norms, mores, dogmas and rules as defined and outlined by beliefs invented by fellow human beings.
I travelled high and low and around this groove that seem like the most dangerous precipice and if I miss that aim … oh yo yoy! my most serious mission was seeming more and more something I should abandon. Still I was very adamant at making that leap over that gap that seems to keep God off limits and be on the same side as God!
I began to argue with God until I thought God could take no more ranting and raving from me. I imagine God running away from my fury! I prayed all kinds of prayers pleading that God end this formidable distance so I can enjoy this pursuit. Then God was all this time God was using his omnipotence to attract my spirit and making me more conscious of my divinity. It was then that I realized that the problem was all in the condition of my perception. I began overcoming the limitation of form and let my life float in the realm of uncertainty and my consciousness of my connection with God and watched the gap closed.
Phew!
I am still breathing, in touch with God and taking this dying as death of false notions and rational of God. Looking back at all the times I scrambled on the way beneath my cross of “letting go the comfort and the wounds”, I understand what Jesus’ Calvary was like.
I know for sure that God and I are one. In fact there was never any actual severing from God and me and so there is no need to struggle to win the race to make it to the pearly gates!
August 03, 2007
A peep hole into the mystery of mystery
Is my experience with God tangible or like God, visible, real and unbounded?
I know not and yet I know enough to know God is real. That’s enough to believe in miracles- the ones that leave me crazy with baffling and exhilarating mood swings. The ones that make me happy that I was on the quest of knowing God as much as I need to understand what I cannot know for now and be at the point when I am at peace that I can believe that God is not being indifferent.
Thank you for my imagination; most grateful for preserving my sanity and for reverence to you for allowing me to know you and relate to you in a manner that make sense to me.
God, I know that you knew all too well that I know I cannot live meaningfully without you. How could I, when you are the most meaningful necessity?
So you see why I was not about to give up the arguments, dialogues and constant questioning until you let me in your most private thoughts. I strongly believe that it was only fair that you reveal yourself as much as you expected me to be transparent with you. Thank you for not letting my most dire complaints to you and about you fall on 'deaf ears'!
I know not and yet I know enough to know God is real. That’s enough to believe in miracles- the ones that leave me crazy with baffling and exhilarating mood swings. The ones that make me happy that I was on the quest of knowing God as much as I need to understand what I cannot know for now and be at the point when I am at peace that I can believe that God is not being indifferent.
Thank you for my imagination; most grateful for preserving my sanity and for reverence to you for allowing me to know you and relate to you in a manner that make sense to me.
God, I know that you knew all too well that I know I cannot live meaningfully without you. How could I, when you are the most meaningful necessity?
So you see why I was not about to give up the arguments, dialogues and constant questioning until you let me in your most private thoughts. I strongly believe that it was only fair that you reveal yourself as much as you expected me to be transparent with you. Thank you for not letting my most dire complaints to you and about you fall on 'deaf ears'!
August 02, 2007
Clarity please, God!
Dear God;
I know that you are somehow sending me the lessons to assist me to regain my intuition; you are responding to my prayer request. Still I am so unclear as to what to do with the lesson that I am hear to ask you to either keep it simple or grant me clarity.
I know that you are giving me lesson equivalent to the level of intuition you have granted me. Based on the tests, I believe that you have a lot of faith in me and you know that I can overcome each hurdle. I feel that there is something that I have to figure out and so please God clarify...Work with me Omniscience, Please! I can just hear you going ah common think for yourself... what if what I think is amiss from what you want of me, God. I know, I know, take the chance and trust you to pick me up.
Trusting in moments when you make no sense at all is really spinning me in eons and I suppose that is a good place to be and I just need to enjoy being there!
In the meantime ... I anticipate many more open doors and keys to his kingdom of many mansions
Thank you for expanding my perspective of you and helping me to accept that it is okay that my ideas of you changes according to my own beliefs
I know that you are somehow sending me the lessons to assist me to regain my intuition; you are responding to my prayer request. Still I am so unclear as to what to do with the lesson that I am hear to ask you to either keep it simple or grant me clarity.
I know that you are giving me lesson equivalent to the level of intuition you have granted me. Based on the tests, I believe that you have a lot of faith in me and you know that I can overcome each hurdle. I feel that there is something that I have to figure out and so please God clarify...Work with me Omniscience, Please! I can just hear you going ah common think for yourself... what if what I think is amiss from what you want of me, God. I know, I know, take the chance and trust you to pick me up.
Trusting in moments when you make no sense at all is really spinning me in eons and I suppose that is a good place to be and I just need to enjoy being there!
In the meantime ... I anticipate many more open doors and keys to his kingdom of many mansions
Thank you for expanding my perspective of you and helping me to accept that it is okay that my ideas of you changes according to my own beliefs
August 01, 2007
Serenity please, God! I have more questions
What do I need to let go?
What do I need to re-examine?
What do I need to do differently?
What should I be looking for?
How do I know what you need me to attend to?
What do you want from me?
Where is your path?
Why am I so temperamental with you?
Are you mad with me?
Am I addressing what you want me to?
Can you send me more of your Wisdom?
How am I supposed to know what you need me to accept?
How do I always know when you are seeking my attention?
How much farther along do I have to travel on this fork of the road?
What are the lessons supposed to prepare me to learn?
How can I not grumble?
How do I always thank you for confusion?
Can you send me a sign that will eradicate my doubts?
How can I stay focussed on you?
What makes me love you one day and the next, well you know?
Dear God, answer me…please. Will you?
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About Me
- Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis
- Nympha Angeal-Eyes Francis legally arrived in Canada as a skilled immigrant- a Ministry of Labour and Citizenship Canada collaborative perk. Seeds of my interest to attain increase academic accolades while I search for meaning of whole E living in a partial E Turn ET Realm birth opportunity. As time progress and high honours grades flourished this aim diminished importance to my spirit. Soul lifelong reason to have risen ignited my innersense. This posed many risks to sanity and sanctity. My Self determined inner oyster decided that I need to transform every obstacle that interfere with sustainable value of its heart currency that can never develop in a commemorative mint. Trusting my innocent intelligence wisdom endow me with continue to fruitfully multiply. Ah! Invisible Intelligence dissolved missed crystal-clear certainty and induced mastered unpredicted uncertainty. I enjoy each instant that source and its resource offer to an astutely attune align actualize androgen genuine genius genes is fueling willingness to celebrate childlikeness confidence to coeurperate with Life, its situations and opulent options in a human flesh blood sentience earth vessel